J.
I looked at Nas and shook my head. "Really, nigga?"
"Yo, I was young and dumb. By the time I had my shit together it was too late to try to come back."
I shrugged. I didn't care for his reasoning. I hated niggas who couldn't step up and be a man.
"Y'all gotta go."
"What we do?" Emory said with his hands up.
"Y'all friends with ain't-shit Jones."
Nas chuckled. "Next time control yo girl."
"Nah." I smirked. "You deserved that shit. Every bit of it. If not more. Matter of fact, let me go get her ass."
"Chill." He said seriously making us all laugh. "Y'all ugly niggas laughing. She hit like a man. Jay I hope you don't piss her off because them hands are no joke."
I smiled. "Don't worry bout me, just get out."
"All jokes aside..." ty ty started. "She is bad as fuck."
"Okay, bye bye, ty ty."
I shut the door behind them and went upstairs.
"Am I calm enough to leave now?"
"I don't want you to leave." I said honestly.
Her hard features turned soft. "I can stay for a few."
I smiled and playfully tackled her on my bed. "Yay!!" I rolled us around and she laughed.
"Stop."
"No. I like when you laugh."
She smiled again. "I'm serious, Jay, stop."
"I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what?"
"Sorry that you had to go through that."
"It's fine."
"It's not fine, I'm sure you didn't deserve that."
"I didn't, but it's too late to go back."
We both laid on our sides and looked at each other. Even though you could clearly tell that she had been crying, she was gorgeous.
"I don't like to see you cry."
"I don't like to cry... just certain things get it out of me."
I sighed. "How can I make you feel better?"
She slowly smirked and I shook my head.
"Why?"
"You're too vulnerable right now."
She rolled her eyes. "Vulnerable my ass."
"What else will make you feel better right now?"
"I don't know. A hug."
I chuckled and pulled her towards me for a hug. She ended up just laying on my chest.
"You smell really manly and nice and it's intoxicating."
"Thank you. You smell delicious too."
"Good enough to eat?" I busted out laughing and she laughed too. "I'm kidding."
"On the real, I would eat you in a heartbeat. You better be careful what you wish for."
She looked up at me and frowned. "Don't play with me."
"I'm not playing, baby girl. This mouth put in work."
"Don't brag about it, come show me." She said simply and I smirked.
"Nope."
"Well that's the only way to make me feel better. I thought you cared about me."
"I do." I said kissing her forehead. "That's why I'm waiting."
She nodded. "I guess I understand that."
"I have a question, but I don't want you to get upset."
"Oh lord." She sighed. "Go ahead and ask."
"Do you want Karim to meet Nas?"
She thought on that for a minute. "I don't know. Honestly, I don't. I don't want Nas to think it's okay for him to pop up 14 years later and be all buddy buddy with him. But I'll talk to Karim about it, he's old enough to make certain decisions on his own."
"That makes sense. Nas doesn't deserve your forgiveness. That's my mans and everything, but he did some hoe shit back in the day and it wasn't cool."
"Hoe shit indeed." She agreed.
We laughed and joked around a little bit more and I was happy to have her feeling better.
It was all cool until I told her Mariah Carey could sing better than Whitney Houston.
Then she got all mad.
"You're stupid!" She yelled. "This is just like you getting mad at me for saying Lebron is better than Kobe."
"That's not a fact though. What I'm saying is a fact."
"No, it's not. Idiot." She said and hit me again.
"Stop hitting me."
"Or what?" She asked sizing up with me.
I scooped her up, laid her on the bed, and had her moaning in 2 seconds.
"Whyyyy? Why are you doing this if you're not going to lay me out right now?" She whined.
I chuckled and lifted her shirt up to kiss and lick her nipples.
"Stop. Please, stop."
I actually stopped and stood up, pulling her with me. "I'm dickmatizing you, don't play with me."
"Well I'm going through dickdrawls, so don't do that."
I laughed, but she found nothing funny at all.
"You want it?"
"Don't play with me." She said with a frown. She pushed me away from her and started to walk out, but I pulled her back by her waist.
"I got you." I whispered in her ear before kissing it.
"Word?" She blushed.
"Word."
She turned to face me. "Ima hold you to that."
I nodded. "Bet."
•
•
B.
"What's wrong?" Karim asked as soon as I walked in the living room.
"Nothing." I smiled.
"Why are you lying to me? I'm your son. You've been crying."
"Karim-"
"Ma, just tell me what's wrong. Was it Jay?"
"No, boy. I'm fine, Okay?"
He put his hands up. "Okay. I'll leave you alone, but this isn't over."
I went upstairs and ran a bath. Sunday's are supposed to be chill. I let the tub fill up with hot water while I added bubbles and lit candles.
I played my r&b playlist and made sure to leave my phone in my room. I didn't want anyone bothering me.
The music was playing softly, but not too soft.
Love by Musiq Soulchild played and I sank deeper in the tub. The water was scorching hot, but it felt great on my body.
This song gets me all the way in my feelings. It reminds me of a time where I was in love. Or what I thought was love.
You can't be in love with someone if they aren't in love with you, in my opinion. Love is a reciprocated feeling.
Someone who is in love with you or loves you wouldn't use you and make you feel like shit.
Nas and I said this would be the song that we danced to at our wedding... then I let him hit and all of those feelings went away. He immediately changed.
I know we were young, but whatever. I had to woman up, why couldn't he just man up?
Oh I know why... because he never had any intentions on being with me in the first place. He only wanted the cookie and my stupid ass gave it to him.
"Karim!" I yelled and waited for him to respond.
"Ma'am?!" I could tell he was still in his room, so I just didn't respond. He knows I want him to come here.
He knocked on the bathroom door. "You can open it."
I made sure my body was covered and everything.
"Yes?"
"Two things. I need you to get my phone and play that song again. And two bring me some grapes and my moscato."
"Really?"
"Yup, hurry up."
He went in my room and played the song again before getting my grapes and wine.
"What's wrong, ma?" He asked again.
"Nothing, son."
"I know you.."
"I know me too."
"I'm being serious. You're in this dark bathroom drinking wine and listening to sad music."
"Sit down." I told him. "And shut the door. You're letting cold air in."
This wasn't abnormal for us. We were very close, but not in a weird way. My body parts are covered, so it isn't a problem.
"What's up?"
"I saw your father today..."
I couldn't read his facial expression. "And?" He said waiting for me to continue.
"I beat his ass."
He chuckled and mocked me. "We don't fight."
I nodded. "You know I don't play about you, Karim."
"Yes, I know. But I don't play about you either and I still got in trouble for fighting."
"I'm the parent, so.." I shrugged.
He shook his head. "Where did you see my father?"
"I found out he's friends with Jay... but jay had no idea!" I added quickly.
"Oh."
"He said he heard that you were good at sports and wished he could be there. So I slapped him. Because if he wanted to be there for you he wouldn't have left."
Karim knew the whole story. He was about to be 15 and I thought he was mature enough to know what happened.
I didn't want him to hate his father, but if he does then so be it.
His face dropped a little. Like I could see the sadness wash over him.
"Do you um... want to meet him?"
He shrugged. "I thought I would want to, but I don't anymore."
"Are you sure?"
"No... I think I do want to see him. I don't know, mom."
"Take some time and think about it, Okay?"
"Okay." He nodded.
"Now get out, so I can wash up."
I threw him a grape and he caught it in his mouth making me bust out laughing.
"Hurry up and make dinner, I'm hungry!"
"Boy, bye."