Chapter 36-
"Are you sure you don't remember the faces of your attackers?" Paul's mother, Taylor James asked as I attempted to not look away from her eye contact. She stared back at me, looking for a sign that I was lying or telling the truth. Her black rimmed glasses slide down but she didn't dare to push it back up in case I crack. Her recently dyed brown hair was pulled up in a ponytail and her pen was tapping lightly on the other-side of the video call. Dating for Paul for almost 4 years taught me that both their parents were great at knowing when someone is lying.
And according to them, I was the worse liar in existence.
I shook my head at the question.
See, a part of me did want to tell them but another part of me didn't. I looked at the top right of the mac, quickly realizing I've been on FaceTime with her for over an hour already.
Although I agreed to work with Paul's parent, Taylor and John, I didn't muster the courage to outright tell them who they were. I admit that within the first two weeks, I came very close to cracking but I still didn't gather enough courage to really talk about it fully in details. Every time I came close, I remember their threats and that would shut me right back up.
Was it weird working with your ex boyfriend's parents?
Yes.
When I first talked on the phone with both of them, they both agreed that what happened between their son and me would not affect how they will act around me professionally. I somewhat believe it but it just felt weird in general to talk to them. Both of them were amazing as lawyers and as people. It was also no surprise that Taylor's sister was a cop as well since I met his whole family at this point.
They both also apologized of what I had to go through but wanted to reassure me that Paul knew and that it wouldn't have changed our relationship as he would protect and still help me. But when I told them my feelings for Paul is gone and that I was now dating Calvin, they nodded, saying that understand and respect my choices.
So far, the only thing they got out of me through the two weeks of video calling them was me admitting I was raped, it happened June 13th over the summer and the occurrence was the alleyway where my dad used to work.
"Ma'am, with all due respect, I don't think we can-"
"Reina, I told you to call me Taylor," she stated with a frown on how formal I was being to her, but I didn't mean too. It was just out of habit since I didn't want to sound rude to her since I'm not technically dating Paul at this point.
"Taylor, with all due respect, I don't think we can do anything. I really can't remember and everything was blurry and hazy," I lied, swallowing my excess saliva.
"So...you're fine with them continuing their actions on something else then?"
I had a deja vu as I remembered Paul asking me the same thing not too long ago.
I leaned back in my chair, rubbing my temples.
"No, I'm not."
She looked satisfied by my moral words.
"I know you're not. And I could tell you were lying," she smugly replied with a triumph smile.
"I'm not really sure what you're talking about," I lied smoothly again.
She laughed, "you're lying again, Reina."
I groaned.
"Seriously, how? How can you tell?"
She winked, "I don't think I'll tell you unless you tell me. Reina...I know this is very hard. You are so brave to endure all this on your own but I think you should work with me and John to find them. We need to make sure that justice is served."
"Paul said the same thing to be about justice being served," I said with amusement.
She smiled fondly at the thought of her son.
"Well, he is my son. Like mother like son...is that how the saying goes?"
I nodded.
"I know it must be hard but I want you to know that we will do everything we can to make sure that justice is served. I want to make sure they pay for their actions and that it won't happen again. I want to thank you, Reina, for being so cooperative and so brave for doing this. Even though I know you know somethings that you're not saying, I know you'll gradually open up. I'll keep pushing you until you crack. I mean, Paul does call me annoying."
"That's not something to be proud of."
"Well I am as it makes me a greater lawyer!"
I rolled my eyes on her reply, "Whatever."
She chuckled, "I am sure we'll solve this together. But for now, let's call it a night. I don't want to keep you from dinner, do I now?"
Before I can say anything, she ended the call. I stared at the computer for a few minutes again before learning fully onto my chair, tilting my head upwards to look at the ceiling.
It's been almost seven months since the incident.
And even then, it was fresh in my mind.
Lifting up both my arms, I slowly rolled up my sleeves to look at my scars. It's been almost a month since the last time I self harmed and yet, the scars didn't seem to be going away anytime soon based on how hard and deep I cut with the razor.
Every time I had a nightmare or panic attack, I would immediately call Calvin, no matter how late it was in the night as he made me swear on his life that if I ever had the impulse to cut or harm myself in anyways, I'll go to him to talk.
It kind of helped so far.
Not only that but sometimes, he would sneak over just to hold my close until I fell asleep.
When I heard the knock on the door, I immediately pulled down the sleeve.
"Reina?"
I opened the door and was greeted by London. She was wearing her usual light blue nightgown that went up to her knees. Her blonde hair was pulled up in a messy bun as she looked at me. Ever since she joined Grace to help volunteer with the chorus kids, she had been doing much better. I sometimes overhear her talking to Chris as well. Her stomach was also starting to swell more. Thank goodness her school allowed her to stay, despite her pregnancy.
"What's up?"
"It's...mom. She's on the other line and wanted to talk to you," she said, holding up her Iphone for me. I swiftly pressed mute before I glanced up at her.
"Did you tell her you're pregnant?"
She shook her head.
"I don't want her to worry. I was hoping she would have came back for Christmas since it seemed more appropriate to tell her but right now, I don't have any courage to even tell her," she said, looking at the ground in shame.
I knew the feeling as I experienced that just moments ago with Taylor James.
No one knew I was talking to Paul's parent, not even London as I didn't want them to be involved with my problem. Plus, I'm sure London already had enough on her plate as is.
I gently rubbed the top of her head.
"It's fine. I know how you're feeling as well. We...we just won't tell her until she comes home okay? We'll deal with it together then," I reassured her as she pulled me in for a hug and nodded.
"Okay," she said before closing the door so I'll have some privacy with mom.
Making sure to hit the unmute button, I put the phone into my ear.
"Hey mom."
"Hey! I was hoping to catch up with you. I'm really sorry I couldn't come home for Christmas. I was but I got swamped with more work. But I'll definitely be back before you end school. But until then...how are things? You got the wired money to your bank so you can pay for the rent and food right?"
"Yes mom. This month is already taken care of."
I hear her sigh in relief on the other line, "Okay good."
There was a long awkward and silent pause.
"Are you still working?" She asked casually.
"Yeah. I'm still working at Starbucks but not as much anymore since there's been cuts and stuff," I said as I let myself fall onto the bed.
"Okay."
More silence.
"Well I have to go. But thank you for taking care of everything around the house, Reina. You are so helpful," she said.
"Yeah, it's no biggie. Stay safe then."
"Bye. Love you."
"Same."
And then the lines were dead.
I looked at how long our conversation lasted for.
A mere one minute or so.
I wondered how we were able to have such a tight relationship in the past when my dad was still here. Was he the foundation for everything? Or it is all in my head and it was because she's been busy that she's acting like that?
I wasn't sure.
I took London's phone and walked over to her room, making sure to knock as she came out.
Handing her phone to her, she looked at me curiously.
"What did mom say?"
"Well our conversation lasted less than a minute so it was just about if I got the wired money to pay for the bills and stuff this month."
She laughed, "She called me to ask the same thing. I guess she wanted to double confirm with you."
"Probably," I replied back dryly, knowing it was true.
"Our lives are fucked up huh?"
"Yeah it is."
She cleared her throat.
"Listen...I didn't mean to blame the change on you at all. What happened was really beyond anyone's control. You know that right? I mean I think I said it before but I want to say it again since I was reading about it...and I want you to know that you shouldn't blame yourself. You're not to blame."
I hugged her close to me, "Thank you."
"You truly have been a great role model for me since mom and dad left."
I didn't know what to say to that. Although I have been helping around the house and such, I didn't feel like I did my job as the older sister seeing how she got knocked up under my care.
"I'm not sure what to say to that," I confessed as I pull away, trying not to chuckle.
She laughed loudly at my confession.
"By the way, have you decided what school you want to go too? What you wanted to do? I mean, it is almost February and school is ending in like three or four months," London asked.
I gulped, not wanting to tell her I wasn't going to be on Earth much longer with the crazy plan I was thinking of to get Erik to jail.
And my rapists.
"I was thinking of taking a gap year," I replied, terribly calm as I tried not to show her that I was lying. I slowly took a seat on the couch before wrapping the blanket around my shoulders as I looked at my Mac computer, trying to think of what to do with my final english project that was going to take us the whole rest of the semester to complete. It was a "write your own story" kind of assignment. We were given the assignment today but we had two-three months to write the story and send it off by the teacher in order to join this writing competition.
London also sat down next to me, curious.
"But then what? What kind of college do you want to go too?"
Oh Lord have Mercy on me.
I gulped as I thought about it.
What school did I want to go into?
I guess I never really thought about my future.
"I mean...I do like reading and I guess writing as well," I said with a shrug.
I haven't given much thought of what I wanted to do up to this point at all.
"You? A writer?"
I made a face.
"What?" I said, feeling self conscious of telling her what I wanted to do in life.
"Well I kind of remember seeing writing when we were kids never read any of your books," she hummed in response as she tried to recall anything from the past.
I made a face.
"I showed you some before, remember? Back like a few years ago?"
She dazed into space as I asked my question and I can tell she was trying really hard to pull back that memory.
I sighed.
"Never mind. I have a creative writing essay anyways so you can read it when I finish. I'm not sure what I'm writing about but we can write it with someone if we choose. Just have to tell the teacher by tomorrow if we would like to be partnered or not and who it is if we choose to partner," I explained to her as I zoned out, trying to figure out if I wanted to work on this alone or not.
She placed a hand behind her head, laughing nervously and apologetic.
"I'm sorry I can't remember your stories I mean I guess maybe you did told me but I tend to be forgetful with these kinds of things. But... I did remember you writing and painting as your hobbies before...that incident. So I guess you can pursue in that. I still haven't found out what I want to do yet."
"But that isn't a bad thing," I said with a shrug before my phone vibrated loudly on the kitchen table where I last placed it before cooking dinner for me and London.
It rang for a few more times as I stared at it, literally debating if I wanted to sacrifice my comfortable position I was in right now in order to get it.
"You're still not going to pick that up?" London asked with amusement as I pretended my phone ringing wasn't going off.
Whoever was on the other line was persistent as it rang for another 5 minutes straight. Finally, I groaned loudly as I got off the couch, cussing on the way there and even cursing more when I realized it was Joshua.
I already knew why he was calling me as I picked up.
"What?"
"Did you start your creative writing yet? Want to be my partner? Or is Calvin your partner?"
I made a face over the phone, trying to decipher why Joshua wanted me as his partner but I realized that it was because he was Joshua.
"You didn't do your homework of braining-storming a few ideas for the stories did you?"
"I was...busy," Joshua commented which made me frown by how serious he sounded.
"With..." I gestured for him to go on.
"Nothing serious but some family problem so I was hoping you'll take pity on this poor boy and help me by partnering with me," he said, his voice lifting to the usual playful tone he used when he was with us.
"And you won't tell me to do the whole thing by myself, right?" I said, chuckling since I knew he would probably.
"Nope, I'll even help you edit if you want to write the whole thing yourself."
Although Joshua was lazy and did things last second, his english scores were, surprisingly, the highest among anyone else's in the class.
"Although you are one of my best friends, I'm afraid the answer is no. I'm actually kind of set on what I want to write and everything already," I said with a apology.
Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't mind working with Joshua in any other day but for some reason...this free write short story that we were going to submit as our final project and entered into a writing competition made me want to test myself and my own creativity.
"Damn. Does Calvin have a partner?"
"I don't think so...?"
"Mason neither?"
"Probably not. Why don't you call them and check, idiot?"
"I should...okay bye then," he said before quickly hanging up, probably to quickly nab a partner last minute.
I shook my head.
"Was that Joshua?" London guessed.
"Yep."
"You have some important project or something?"
"Yep."
"And you don't want to pair up with him because he's going to drag you down?"
"Actually, I kind of wanted to do this project alone. I think it's just faster and easier," I commented as I pulled out a small notebook and started to brainstorm some ideas.
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Reasons to Live: 36. "Look for something positive in each day, even if some days you have to look a little harder than usual. Let the challenges make you stronger. Let hope change your life." (The LifeLine)
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