Meryl was sitting next to Don's bed once they got him set up in recovery; after Dr. Abbott told her he updated Liz and Larry and their babies were fine. "We have some amazing babies, Don Man. You know that? Of course you do. You are so damn crazy about them. I can't wait until you can spend more time with them."
"Mrs. Gummer?" A nurse said walking over.
Meryl smiled warmly at the nurse. "He doing okay?"
"He's doing very well." The nurse smiled. "I'm Erin; and I'm just going to sit here and monitor his vitals. You talk away and I'm going to work."
Meryl nodded. "Thank you; and thank you for this comfortable recliner."
"Much better than those stools in OR." Erin smiled as Meryl chuckled. "Can I get you something to drink or anything?"
Meryl shook her head. "I'll just have to use the restroom; not until he wakes up; but thank you very much."
"I understand." Erin took her seat. "Just talk to him; don't worry about me."
Meryl smiled and nodded at the nurse. "I'm sure ready for you to be awake, Don Man. That might sound selfish; but these days of not seeing your eyes or talking to you has broken me more than I ever thought possible. You are my rock and my strength. I've been so afraid that I was going to have to learn to live without my breath; without you. I can't do that, Don. You have ALWAYS been there for me; even when I pushed you away. I've been thinking a lot about when Daddy died; and how you were there for me even when I unconsciously wouldn't let you be."
***
It was July of 2003 and Don went through their Manhattan townhome looking for his wife to tell her bye before he went to Boston for a week to lecture at a summer class. He was uneasy about leaving their family. Meryl's father, Harry, had been struggling with dementia for almost two years; but in the last few weeks he was getting worse both mentally and especially physically. In fact, Don and the girls had barely seen his wife because she had been taking care of him almost round the clock at his Stamford, CT home. They had recently called in hospice that came in everyday to help; and the boys were helping her so she could spend time with their girls while Don was gone. Don wanted to cancel his trip, but Meryl insisted he go. Don finally found her in the office talking on the phone. "When Don heads to the airport then the girls and I will be over. No Third, he is only supposed to take that medicine at night. The nurse should know that. Yes, Third, she does. Listen; just sit with him until I can get there. NO! Don't change his IV bag, that is what the nurses are for. Don't do ANYTHING, just sit with him. I'll be there when I can; but I want to see my husband off seeing as though I've barely seen him lately. Thanks, bye." Meryl sighed as she hung up, not knowing her husband had entered the room.
"Where's my address book? I'm canceling." Don said walking over to the desk as he started looking in the drawers. He hated how broken her voice sounded when she said she had barely seen him; and he felt the same way. He and the girls had spent as much time in Stamford as they could; but they were still missing time with each other. "I'm not leaving you all right now. I can't believe I was going to leave."
Meryl grabbed his arm and gave him a watery smile. "Don Man, you need to go. You have been driving back and forth to Stamford so much; you have been and are my rock but I want you to do this. We'll be okay, sweetheart. The girls are pretty self-sufficient and they don't have anything going on, so they can come back and forth with me. They can also stay with Maeve."
"It's not them I'm worried about the most; I know you'll take care of them and your dad perfectly. But who is going to take care of you?" Don asked as he wiped her tears.
Meryl smiled at him. "You; just like you always do. Just like you have been even when you haven't been able to physically be there."
"How am I supposed to do that from 3 hours away?" Don sighed. "It's been hard being 45 minutes away."
Meryl couldn't help but laugh at him being upset about being 3 hours away. "Babe, it's only 3 hours. It's not like you'll be in London or Japan or something. And I know you; you'll be taking care of me over the phone."
"Meryl, your dad could pass away at any time." Don sighed. "I would never forgive myself if I wasn't there with you and the kids, and him, when that happened."
Meryl shook her head as she choked back her tears. "The nurses seem to think it won't be in the next few weeks."
"We don't know that for sure." Don pointed out.
Meryl nodded. "That's right, we don't. He could live for weeks and weeks, even months, in this state; and we can't put our lives on hold. He would want you to go; I want you to go."
"I want to be here for you." Don said as he ran his fingers through her hair. "And the kids."
Meryl smiled as she tenderly kissed his lips. "You will be; you are. Please Don, go for me."
"I'm not going to win; am I?" Don asked.
Meryl shook her head as she laughed. "After almost 25 years of marriage you should know that by now."
"Okay; I'll go; against my better judgement I might add. But the first sign that he is getting worse, or you need me, you have to promise to call me. I will keep my cell phone with me and you have the hotel information; right?" Don asked.
Meryl kissed his lips again. "I promise; are you sure the girls and I can't take you to the airport?"
"No; I'm going to take a cab. Besides, you 3 need to get out to Stamford." Don said pulling her to him as she began to cry. "Damn it."
Meryl shook her head against his neck. "I just realized how much I'm going to miss you and your strength. You need to go."
"I love you; you know that, right?" Don whispered as he kissed her head.
Meryl pulled away as she leaned her forehead against his. "Right now; that is all I'm sure of. Well that, and our family. I love you so much."
"I'll call you as soon as I land." Don said kissing her again.
Meryl smiled against his lips as he wiped her tears. "I know you will."
"I really don't want to go." Don sighed holding her close again.
Meryl looked up over his shoulder at the clock and realized what time it was. "You need to go, baby; we'll be fine."
"I love you." He told her again as he gave her one last kiss and walked towards the door. "Remember; call me at any time."
Meryl blew him a kiss with tears in her eyes. "I love you too, handsome. Please tell the girls we're leaving in 15 minutes when you tell them bye. Talk soon."
Don touched his heart as he walked out of the office and to tell his daughters bye. He felt like he had just left half his heart in their office.
***
Meryl knew something was wrong when she and the girls got to Stamford and Maeve immediately said she'd take them out to lunch with her and Maude so they could have time. Third pulled Meryl aside. "What's going on, Third?"
"Dad's taken a turn. His breathing is labored and his blood pressure has dropped. The nurses don't think it will be long. Dana, Mary, and the kids are on their way. Maeve is just taking the kids out to lunch and is bringing them back. You might want to call Mamie and Henry." Third said gently.
Meryl shook her head. "Mamie is in Europe studying; and Hen is in California."
"You should call them, and maybe they can make it back in time. I know you'll want to call Don." Third said.
Meryl shook her head. "I don't want to bother him."
"Meryl, he will want to know; he'll want to be here. He'll never forgive either of us if you don't call him when you need him most." Third pointed out.
Meryl walked towards her father's room as she shot her brother a look. "Let me worry about my husband and what's best for him."
***
After checking on her dad and spending some time with him, Meryl went for a walk outside. She was missing her husband and children desperately. She didn't want to call him, she didn't want to worry him, but she needed to hear his voice. She also knew she needed to tell him what was going on; Third was right. Meryl took out her phone and called him, smiling when she heard his voice on his voicemail greeting. She hung up and then called again so she could hear his voice again, and this time she left him a message, trying not to cry, but it was no use. "Hey baby, it's me. I hope you had a good flight. We made it to Stamford and Maeve took the girls and Maude out to lunch. I just really needed to hear your strong and steady voice. Please call me as soon as you land. I love you, Don Man, bye."
***
As soon as Don's plane landed at Logan Airport and it was safe to do so, Don pulled out his phone and turned it back on. His heart sank when he saw he missed 2 phone calls from his wife. He listened to her message and immediately knew something wasn't right, and was prepared to go right back. He was glad he was in the first row in first class; he quickly grabbed his carry-on luggage, and raced off the plane as he called his wife back. "DAMN IT!" Don cursed when there was no answer. He made his way to luggage claim as he dialed his father-in-law's number and breathed a sigh of relief when he heard his wife's voice. "Hey baby, I just got your message; we just now landed."
"Don." Meryl cried.
Don was silently cursing himself for leaving when he shouldn't. "Darl, what's wrong?"
"Nothing; I was just missing your voice. Are you headed to the hotel?" Meryl tried covering.
Don shook his head as he waited for his luggage. "No, I'm coming back. Don't you dare tell me I don't need to, I can tell something is wrong; what is it, Darl?"
"Dad took a turn, I guess, when I was on my way here. His organs are shutting down and he barely has a blood pressure. You can wait until it's over so you can stay as long as possible." Meryl choked.
Don cradled the phone between his ear and shoulder as he grabbed his luggage. "Mary Louise, do you not know me by now? There is no way in hell I'm staying."
"There's nothing you can do here." Meryl choked as she paced in the kitchen.
Don sighed. "Yeah baby, there is. I can hold you. I can wipe your tears. I can be there for you and our kids. I can tell you bad jokes that you think aren't funny but laugh just to make me feel good."
"I do like your bad jokes." Meryl cried. "I can't talk you out of it; can I?"
Don made his way to the ticket counter. "No way in hell. Listen baby, I need to see when I can get on the next flight out. I'll call you just as soon as I can; and you call me before that if you need me. I love you."
"I love you, so much; and I do need you." Meryl choked.
Don smiled as he hurried over to the ticket counter. "I know you do; I'm just surprised you admitted it. Bye, gorgeous."
"Bye, Don Man." Meryl sighed as she hung up.
Don raced up to the counter. "I need on your next flight to JFK; I don't care the cost."
"I'm sorry, sir, we're all booked until 9pm tonight." The clerk said.
Don shook his head. "No, you don't understand. I HAVE to get back just as soon as possible. We're talking death here."
"I'm sorry sir; there is nothing we can do." The clerk said with not very much concern.
Don sighed. "Great, tell that to my wife." Don ran off and towards the rental car counter, he sure as hell could get there faster if he drove. As soon as he got a car, he threw his stuff in, and called his wife as he sped out of the parking lot.
"Hello?" Meryl answered.
Don hated how weak and tired she sounded. "I'm on my way, baby."
"What? It sounds like you're driving." Meryl said.
Don smiled. "I am; that damn airline couldn't get me on a flight fast enough so I took matters into my own hands."
"Don, what about your class?" Meryl sighed.
Don switched lanes as he continued to talk to her. "Baby, don't worry about that. I called Ben and he is taking care of everything; he understands; I'll do it some other time. I just wish I was superman and I could get to you and the kids sooner."
"Well, you are my superhero." Meryl smiled into the phone.
Don was glad she was making jokes. "That's what I like to hear."
"Listen baby, as much as I love talking to you, I want you to pay attention to the road. Please be careful, and don't speed; okay?" Meryl asked.
Don nodded as he eased up on the gas. "I promise, bye love."
***
Things were getting worse and Meryl was counting down the minutes until Don would get there. He called and checked on her every hour, so she knew he was getting close. As much as she hated he had to cancel his lectures; she was so relieved he would be there any minute. The girls were busy watching TV with their cousins, Dana and Third were with Harry; and Maeve and Mary were fixing dinner, so Meryl went to sit out on the porch of her parents Stamford house. Her heart leapt out of her chest when she saw a car she didn't recognize speed right towards her. While the car wasn't familiar, the driver certainly was. Meryl ran towards him and laughed as he jumped out of the car after putting it in park, but not bothering turning it off. Meryl leapt into his arms as he held her tight and all of her emotions were released. "I'm here baby, I'm here."
"I'm so glad." Meryl choked as she kissed him hard.
Don cupped her face as he broke away; and wiped her tears. "I'm so sorry, baby. I never should have left. You needed me, whether you realized it or not. I knew it, and I left, I'm so sorry."
"Don, I WANTED you to go. I really thought we'd be safe. I knew how much I needed you, but I thought I'd be okay." Meryl shrugged.
Don nodded as he wiped her tears. "Only you weren't."
"I'm much better now." Meryl smiled.
Don placed a soft kiss on her lips. "Good; that was the goal."
"God, I didn't know how I was going to get through this without you here." Meryl choked as she pressed her forehead against his. "I know the girls will be happy to see you."
Don tenderly kissed her lips again. "You NEVER have to get through anything without me; I'm so glad I'm here. The girls inside?"
"Yeah." Meryl choked. "They've already said bye to Daddy so they're hanging out with their cousins."
Don nodded. "Henry and Mames?"
"I booked them on flights but I doubt they'll get back in time." Meryl wiped away her tears. "Abe is going to pick them up; I didn't want you to have to go pick them up after all of your traveling. Besides, I'm selfish and want you here with us." Meryl said as he smiled softly. "I held up the phone to his ear so they could tell him bye."
Don took a deep breath; before he asked her the next question remembering how hard it was with Mary. "Have you said goodbye to your dad, Darl?"
"Not yet." Meryl choked as she reached down to intertwine her fingers with his. "I was hoping we could tell him together."
Don placed one more kiss on her lips before wrapping his arm around her. "Let's go, baby."
***
Don was able to hug his girls and the rest of the family before they filtered out of Harry's room to give Don and Meryl time with him. Don went up behind Meryl and wrapped his arms around her, whispering in her ear while she held her father's hand. "Baby, I can go wait by the door or outside the room if you want time alone with him."
"You were there with me when I told Mom." Meryl leaned further into his embrace. "I need you here with me now."
Don nodded as he kissed her cheek. "Until the very end; I'm always with you, Darl."
"Thanks, baby." Meryl took a deep breath.
Don reached behind him and pulled the chair up next to the bed. "Sit down, sweetheart."
"Thanks." Meryl whispered as she held her father's hand with one hand; and her husband's that was on her shoulder with the other. "I can't, yet; I need you to go first, if you don't mind."
Don nodded as he pulled up another chair and sat next to his wife as she put her father's hand in Don's. Don then held her hand with his free one. "Hey, Dad; I thought I better come in and give you some relief from all these Streeps."
"Don't let him fool you, Daddy." Meryl choked as she looked at her husband. "He is a Streep."
Don gave his wife a watery smile. "Don't let your daughter know I said this; but she's right. I try not to tell her that too much." Don winked as Meryl smirked at him. "From the first moment I stepped foot in your house in New Jersey you made me feel like one of your sons; which was something I only felt from Mike." Don felt Meryl move his hand into her other as she ran her free hand through his hair. "You trusted me with your daughter; which has been the greatest gift of my life because it has not only given me a great love but our children and your family. When Meryl and I met I had no idea this amazing family she would give me in you and Mary and the boys; and the list just goes on. You helped us through some really difficult times. You talked to me about things I NEVER could have talked to my father about. You kicked my ass when I needed it; but you were always there when I needed a fatherly ear, a fatherly voice and a fatherly hug. You mean more to me and our family than I think we can ever tell you." Don choked. "Dad, I don't want you to worry about anything. I promised Mary almost 2 years ago that I will ALWAYS love and cherish your daughter and our children; and I make that same promise to you today. They always have been and always will be first for me. I will be there for your sons and their families as well. You have been our rock and guiding light for so long that I don't want you to worry about anything. Everyone will be okay; I promise you, Dad. I just want you to go be with Mary; I know how much you have missed her. Meryl and I need you two to hug our boys for us until we can all be together. Rest well, Dad; I love you." Don kissed his father-in-law's cheek and then looked at his wife as her tears matched his. "Thank you for giving him to me."
"Thank you for giving yourself to us." Meryl cried as she kissed his lips. "Is it time?" Don nodded as she moved to sit on her father's bed next to him and Don moved behind her with both hands on her shoulders. "Hey, Daddy; it's nice and quiet in here without the bratty Streep boys." Meryl took a deep breath as she turned to Don. "I don't know where to start."
Don placed his hand on her heart. "Start from there; start by starting."
"Daddy, you were the first man to ever have my heart; and you prepared me for the last man to ever have my heart." Meryl choked as she felt Don squeeze her shoulder. "You and Mom showed me what a family and marriage was all about. You were always there to love me and yet be stern when I need it. I know for a fact I couldn't have gotten through John's death without you and Mama; or when Don and I lost our babies and everything in-between. You have always been there to laugh and cry with me. You have always been there to kick my ass when I needed it. You have always been there with your love and support. You gave me an incredible childhood when I know I wasn't the easiest child to raise." Meryl heard her husband chuckle. "Believe me, Lou is reminding me of that right now; just as all of our others did. Thank you doesn't seem big enough; but thank you, Daddy. Thank you for being my first love. Thank you for your support and love and just being who you are. Thank you for reminding me time and again what's important which is love and family. Thank you for the parts of you that you passed along to me even your darkness because that darkness reminds me to cherish every little moment. Most of all, thank you for letting me take care of you and Mama these past several years; it is one of the greatest gifts you could have ever given me. Like Don, I don't want you to worry about anything or any of us. We will be okay because you and Mama are always with us; and because you and Mama raised us so amazingly well. I know you will be loving us when we need to be loved. You will support us when we need to be supported. You will encourage us when we need to be encouraged. You will kick our asses when they need to be kicked. Go be with Mama and tell her we love her. You've missed her since before she went on; so now it's time to go be with her. Take care of our boys." Meryl cried. "I love you, Daddy, so much. Go be free. Go dance. Go laugh. We love you."
Don bent down as he wrapped her in his arms. "You did so good, baby."
"Thank you for being here." Meryl cried as she placed her hands on his that were around him.
Don bent down to kiss her cheek. "Always."
"Don?" Meryl looked at her father and then her husband. "Is he?"
Don nodded as he bent down and took her in his arms; wishing he could shield her from all the pain. "Yeah baby, he's free now. You gave him that gift."
***
Don sighed. It was the morning of Harry Streep's funeral and he was beyond worried about his wife. She had not stopped since Harry passed away a few days previous. She had been closed off since it happened. She would barely even talk to him. She wasn't eating. She wasn't sleeping. He had never seen her quite like this and it scared the shit out of him. At least when they lost Matthew she would yell; but now she was just quiet. He knew she wasn't angry at him as she curled up to him every night and was always needing to touch him or hold his hand; but she was just silent. He walked into their bedroom looking for her and heard her throwing up in the bathroom. He didn't even bother knocking, he went right in and knelt down beside her. "It's okay baby, I'm here."
"Can't...do...this." Meryl cried as she dried heaved.
Don went and wet a cloth and placed it on her neck. "Let it out sweetheart."
"Nothing...left." Meryl choked as she stopped dry heaving.
Don immediately took her in his arms feeling her immediately melt into them. "Come on baby, talk to me. I am so fucking worried about you. You aren't eating. You aren't sleeping. You're shutting me out; you've never done that before, not like this."
"I'm sorry, I knew if I opened up to you that I'd break down. You're the only one I do that with." Meryl cried into his neck.
Don placed a kiss on the top of her head. "As it should be. Be strong for everyone else if you want, not for me, you don't need to be for me. Breakdown. Cry. Scream. Whatever. I am worried sick about you."
"I can't do this now." Meryl sighed as she looked at the time on the watch on his wrist. "We have to go."
Don nodded when he knew she was right. "Okay, but tell me what I can do." "
Forgive me?" She choked. "Forgive me for shutting you out? I'm so sorry, Don Man."
Don tenderly kissed her lips. "There's nothing to forgive. What else?"
"Just be there for me and the kids, that's all I need." Meryl said as he helped her up.
Don took her in his arms and stroked her hair. "Always."
"Don?" Meryl choked into his neck. "Baby?"
Don pulled away slightly and tenderly kissed her lips. "Yeah, Darl?"
"I love you." She cried. "I love you so much."
Don gave her the smile she loved so much. "I love you too, my girl; come on, let's go get our kids."
***
Meryl and Don got their kids together and once they all had their final moments with Harry it was time for the funeral to start. Don felt weird about leading the family in followed by Meryl, her brothers, their wives and then all the grandchildren following behind. Meryl wanted Don to sit at the end of the pew since he would be speaking and since she was oldest she walked in first and insisted he lead them. As soon as there was room he pulled her up from behind him and to his side so they walked together. "We're always right next to each other." He winked when she gave him a questioning look.
"Until the very end." She choked as he led her and the rest of the family into the pew. Once they were seated they looked back to make sure their kids were behind them and were alright. Once Don and Meryl were assured their kids were okay, including a 12 year old Louisa, their baby, they held hands as the service started. Meryl found herself leaning her head on Don's shoulder as she felt him kissing her head and her hand he was holding in his over and over again until it was his turn to speak. "Don Man?"
Don nodded as he turned to her. "You'll be okay?"
"I've got her, Dad." Henry leaned forward from where he was sitting behind his parents and put his hands on his mother's shoulders.
Meryl smiled at Don through her tears. "I'm in good hands."
"Okay." Don breathed with a kiss to her lips as he buttoned his suit jacket and went up to speak. He looked at his wife who had tears streaming down her face and he tried to give her a reassuring smile. "Good morning, on behalf of the family I would like to thank you all for coming here today as we honor a great man, my father-in-law, Harry Streep the second." Don took a breath as everything from the past few days started to crash down around him; he had been too busy taking care of and worrying about his children and wife to even think about how he was feeling. Now he was feeling it. "My dad. I am proud to call myself Harry Streep's third son; as he often said. " Don took a deep breath. "When I met the love of my life I never expected to get the father I always wanted, I always needed." Don choked as he began to break down and walk away from the mic. "I, I'm sorry..."
Henry saw his mother start to get up. "I'll go to him Mom."
"No, I need to." Meryl choked as she quickly got up and stopped her husband from walking down from the stage. She could have kicked herself. She had been so focused on not breaking down and not letting him in so she wouldn't break down; that she didn't realize how much he needed her. She wasn't the only one who lost a father; he did too. She pulled him to a back corner behind the pulpit. "Baby?"
Don shook his head as he continued to break down. "I wanted to do this for him, for Mom; and most importantly for you, but I can't. I'm sorry, I wanted to do this for you so badly."
"I want you to do this for you." Meryl pressed her forehead to his. "He loved you so much, Don Man. Sometimes I think he loved you more than he loved me." Meryl gave him a small smile. "I am so sorry I haven't asked how you are doing; I am sure you are breaking, too."
Don shook his head as he looked at her. "I've been so worried about you."
"I know, love; but now I am going to worry about and take care of you. We will talk later; but I don't want you to regret not doing this." Meryl whispered as she wiped his tears. "You are the ONLY one who can give this eulogy."
Don took a deep breath. "Will you stay up here with me, please? I can't do this without you."
"Of course." Meryl kissed his lips. "I'm right with you, baby."
Don wrapped his arm around her waist as they walked back to the microphone and he held her close to him. "I'll never forget the day I met Harry Streep. I was a nervous wreck. I knew I would ask him and Mary for their permission to marry their daughter. Harry made sure I understood she was his ONLY daughter." Don said making everyone laugh. "In some ways hearing him give his blessing to me to marry his baby girl, his only little girl, was an act of love not only for his daughter but for me as well. Speaking as a father of 3 girls, I'm sure that wasn't easy." Don smirked. "That was the beginning of our relationship; which was much deeper than a friendship; or even a son-in-law and father-in-law relationship. He was more than my father-in-law; and he was more than my friend. There have been so many times I needed a fatherly voice and ear; and he was the first one there. Harry Streep showed me the kind of husband and father I wanted to be; he showed me the importance of family. There have been so many times in my marriage when I doubted myself because of how I was brought up; and Harry was always there to remind me of who I was, along with my wife." Don winked at his wife as she smiled at him through our tears. "I'll never forget the day our first child, our only son was born. Harry and Mary were of course right there in the waiting room of the hospital. Meryl had been screaming at me during her labor to never touch her again." Don said as Meryl laughed at the memory; and everyone else joined in. "I went to go get her some ice and I ran into Harry; as always he was there with husbandly and fatherly advice. Thanking me for being a part of his family." Don choked. "So, when it was time to name our son we wanted a strong name for him. A name that meant strength and love and compassion and humor and integrity and only one man, one name came to mind...Harry Streep. So, we have Harry the fourth; or Henry." Don smiled at his son who had tears in his eyes. "If you want to honor my father-in-law then love one another. Laugh with each other. Be a steady and loving voice. My father-in-law might have been small in stature; but he is the biggest and strongest man I know. Live like Harry did. I know I will always strive to do so. Rest in peace, Dad, we love you." Don reached for Meryl's hand as he pulled her off the stage. "Thank you, love."
"I'm so damn proud of you, Donald Gummer." Meryl kissed his lips once they sat back down. "So is Daddy."
***
After the burial everyone went back to the house for lunch. Once people started filtering out Meryl was missing her husband. She felt like she had barely seen him or talked to him since getting back to the house with everyone there. She smiled when she saw him out on the porch swing. She grabbed a beer and walked out to her husband. "I have your favorite."
"You're my favorite." He answered smartly as she walked over to him and giving him the beer with a kiss to his lips. "My Budweiser coming in a close second."
Meryl laughed at his typical joke. "I was so proud of you today, baby; so damn proud."
"Thank you for staying up there with me; I couldn't have done it without you." Don whispered with a kiss to his lips. "I'm sorry I broke down up there."
Meryl shook her head as she took his in her hands. "You don't need to apologize, baby. Don, I've handled all of this so badly."
"Your father just died, sweetheart." Don said incredulously. "There is no right or wrong way to grieve."
Meryl sighed as she played with the buttons on his shirt. "I shut you out; and I didn't even stop to think about how you were."
"I was too concerned about you and the kids to even think about me." Don answered honestly. "How's my girl?"
Meryl tried to blink past her tears. "I miss him so much. I mean I know because of the Alzheimer's that in some ways he's been gone for over a year; but now he really is. I feel like an orphan."
"I know that feeling." Don said sadly.
Meryl nodded as he wiped away her tears. "I know you do, Don Man. As sad and lost as I am without him and Mom; I know I will find my way and that I will be okay because I have you and our family. I know I lost my way from you these past few days."
"But you haven't." Don said strongly. "You were always cuddling up to me in your sleep or reaching out for me."
Meryl had steady tears streaming down her face. "Because I needed you even though I didn't know what to say; and you were always there."
"I always will be." Don kissed her lips. "I love you so much."
Meryl kissed his lips this time. "I love you, my Don Man, more than anything. How is my husband?"
"I actually feel better." He sighed. "I'm sorry I broke down in front of you and the kids and everyone..."
Meryl shook her head vehemently. "I'm glad you did. Thank you so much for not only what you said today; but also what you said to Daddy before he died. I know how much it meant to him; but not nearly as much as it means to me. I am so damn glad you are a part of me, you are a part of us. I'm so damn glad that no matter what we are a part of each other."
"Me too, baby." Don said with a kiss to her lips. "How about once everyone is gone you, the kids and I go out to Salisbury? The house will be here for us to deal with later. There's no hurry. You and I could go out on the boat tonight, just us, while the kids are doing what they do. We don't have to talk about this. I just want time with you."
Meryl pressed her forehead to his; just needing to be close to him. "I just NEED time with you. I can't wait. It's us until the very end, Don Man."
"We go together." Don promised her knowing what she was thinking. "Come on, we better make sure Auntie J isn't taking off with the silver or anything."
***
Meryl was brought out of her thoughts when the nurse spoke to her. "Mrs. Gummer, he's starting to wake up."
"Don Man?" Meryl said softly as she kissed his lips just as softly. "Open those beautiful blue eyes for me, handsome. I'm right here."
Don opened his eyes and smiled at her before closing his eyes again. "I knew you would be here, Darl. You always keep your promises."
"Hey now, that's my line." Meryl kissed his lips again; only stronger this time. "How's my guy?"
Don gave her his lopsided smile. "Drugged."
"And you didn't share?" Meryl asked as she ran her hand through his hair and he shook his head. "You did so good, baby. The doctors are blown out of the water at how well you did."
Don lazily brought her hand to his lips so he could kiss it. "And you were there the whole time talking to me. I heard you. Best Darl ever."
"Best husband ever." Meryl whispered as she leaned her head against his. "You heard me?"
Don nodded as he opened his eyes again and smiled. "It worked; I had a new memory."
***