[ basically a headcanon idk. some are headcanons i've read somewhere so cobra pov. ]
Natsu
It's like trying to see your hand in the dark then trying to eat it. Just don't.
Gray
He's devising escape plans and routes to evade Juvia in his sleep. Smart man.
Gajeel
. . .Cats.
Laxus
Always thinking about whose ass to kick next.
Jellal
If I hear another long ass internal soliloquy about how he doesn't deserve Erza until he's redeemed all his sins, I goddamn swear—
Sting
Who?
Rogue
Who?
Midnight
This man's thoughts are weirder than his dreams. It drives me fucking insane.
Zeref
Why is he even on the list?
Rufus
Who?
Lyon
Too busy stalking the stalker who's stalking the stripper.
Lucy #1
Every time we visit Fairy Tail it's just awkward. What are you supposed to say? Yeah, sorry for strapping you to a big ass nuclear clock and trying to wipe you from existence, but water under the bridge y'know?
Erza
Cake, Jellal, cake, cake, training, Jellal, cake, weapons, cake.
Yukino
Her mind is a shrine to Sorano.
Meredy
Tiny pink demon. Should never be allowed sugar. 'Nuff said.
Richard
It's a miracle he hasn't been farting rainbows, though there are times when Richard will spontaneously start to sparkle for no apparent reason.
Racer
He has about two hundred and seventy three thoughts going around his head at any one time. Sometimes I just want to shout at him CALM THE FUCK DOWN.
Millianna
She has the Nyan Cat song playing in her head non stop.
Sorano
Stalking her sister.
Mira
Big white demon. Her Satan Souls talking inside her head. Halphas is my favourite, the snarky little shit, but that doesn't change the fact that she as seventy-two SSS-Class monsters arguing in her brain.
Brain
Ha, I killed you.
Virgo
She truly scares me.
Aries
That sneaky little shit. That lamb taught Lucy everything she needed to know about fake tears.
Loke
I advise not to go near him.
Bickslow
The souls in his totems will not fucking shut up about Lisanna.
Lucy #2
She constantly is adding and multiplying numbers in her head. My guess is that it's for subtracting the possible amount of damage repairs from the job reward then adding them up to see if she has enough for rent. But still the most sane one in Fairy Tail.
Levy
BOOOOOOOKS.
Juvia
I. . .'d rather not go there, thank you very much.