ALEX POV…
If there could be more painful with what I am feeling right now…I don’t know how to call it. Seeing Mara in the arms of my brother hurts me so much. The pain is unexplainable…I haven’t felt this way before. My previous relationships were all just for fun. Is this what they are calling Karma?
I want to cry but I can’t…there’s no tears in my eyes. I want to shout but I don’t have a voice. I want to throw up things…run away from all of this… but I felt I’m so weary and exhausted.
I sat carelessly on the well- trimmed grass of the ground. I wonder how this garden which I admired a couple of hours ago lost its appeal to me. The beautiful landscape turned to a maze in my eyes…the beautiful and fragrant flowers looks plain and dull to me.
I don’t feel anything except the excruciating pain I’m feeling inside. I feel I’m being suffocated…the fresh air in the garden makes me feel dizzy. I need to go somewhere else…I need to unwind…I need to escape.
I slowly stand from the ground and sneaked behind the bushes and walked towards the short route to the garage. I’m not ready to face Mom and Dad and the rest of the family. I can’t explain to them what happened. Not now… I reached my car unnoticed. I slowly turn on the engine and drive slowly towards the gate and into the main road.
‘Mara…why did you do this to me? Why you lied?’ Just then the tears I’m yearning to shed a while ago flows like river in my eyes. I never cried for such a long time already because I thought tears are only for the cowards…for the weak. But now I realized that I’m wrong… we need to cry sometimes…to pour out all the pains we have inside. I drive and drive not knowing where to go. As long as there is a road I keep on driving. I let my tears flow freely on my face. ‘So what if I’m crying? No one knows what I’m doing…no one knows my pain…no one will understand…’
I don’t know if how long I’ve been driving and I don’t even know where I am. Just then I heard my cellphone ring. I took my phone and saw that it’s Dad who is calling. I readily rejected the call. ‘I’m sorry Dad I’m not yet ready to talk to you.’ I have already 48 missed calls. I wonder why I haven’t heard a single ring awhile ago. I put off my phone and parked my car beside the road. I’m so tired but I don’t want to go home. I want to be alone.
Is this what they call heart ache? It’s really aching…and not only a simple pain…coz it’s grubbing till the bottom of my heart. I put my head on the steering wheel of my car…I closed my eyes but the face of Mara and the scene I saw hours ago lingering in my mind.
Cesar denied my accusations, so is Mara but the anger of betrayal overwhelmed me. I know Cesar…he is a player. And I saw something in his eyes when I introduced Mara to him while we were on the stadium. But Mara…I thought she loves me. She told me she loves me…but she only used me…she is a liar! She betrayed me.
I have to talk to someone or I will go crazy. I drive my car thinking of someone who can fully understand me.
ONE HOUR LATER…
I parked my car in front of a log cabin. The small house was located far from the busy streets of LA. No noise…no pollution. The garage immediately lighted up just in time as I turned off the engine of my car. I opened my door and walked towards the door of the house. JZ was already standing on the doorway together with Elise, his wife. They seemed to be expecting my arrival.
“Buddy…seems you went out of your way…are you ok?
I didn’t answer…because honestly I don’t know what to answer. Am I ok or not? I looked at Elise and I saw her smile. I want to smile back but it seems I don’t have the energy to do so.
“Come inside Alex…I think you are tired”, Elise said full of understanding in her eyes.
JZ looked at me in the eyes and without uttering any words take me in his arms. I felt like a little child who is lost and finds someone who can defend me and take me home. I clung to my friend and my tears flow again. Aside from my family JZ is one person whom I know I can count on to. He never judged me, he always understands. Many times I have problems that I come here and he and his wife never asked why. They just opened their home to me and comforted me without questions.
“Alex, as what I have told you many times before…life can never be a bed of roses always. You need to be strong buddy,” I heard him telling me while he is rubbing my back.
Few minutes later, he guided me inside. We sat on the comfortable rattan chair. We sat there in silence while Elise went to the kitchen. After a while, she went back carrying a steaming bowl of soup and some fresh bread and chicken.
“I think you need to eat. I know you…” she stated.
If I am not in this kind of state of mind, I won’t let Elise lecture me to eat…I would readily grab the bowl and consume everything. Elise is a good cook, no doubt about that. But right now, even her most delicious menu is not appealing to me.
“I don’t have appetite Elise. Thank you but I don’t want to eat.”
“Alex, in every problem there is always a solution. But solution does not come easily. You need to think...you need to act. But how can you think straight if your mind is already dizzy because you are hungry. It’s only your mind that tells you that you don’t have appetite, your body actually needs nourishment to stay strong.”
Elise is correct buddy…eat so you can think straight and make good and wise decisions. We will talk about it later,” JZ seconded.
I don’t want to argue with the couple so I ate a little of the soup. My mind is still somewhere else when JZ’s phone ring. He excused himself and went to the kitchen to answer it. After a while he returned and he seemed to be worried.
“Darling are you ok?” Elise asked disturbed of his husband’s facial expression.
“I need to talk to Alex alone. Hope you don’t mind my love’” JZ answered. I felt an odd feeling building inside my chest. Elise understand and nodded to me before exiting towards the kitchen.
“What is it Buddy?” I asked anxiously.
“Alex…Pete called. They are looking for you.”
“Did you told him I’m here?”
“No… because I know you need time to be alone.”
I looked at JZ and smiled weakly.
“Thank you bud..”
“But Alex…your father left a message for you. He told me that if ever you call me or you will drop by here, I will tell you to go to Saint Vincent Pediatric Center immediately. They need you there.”
“Pediatric Center? But that is a hospital for children…what are they doing there?” I asked very confused.
“He did not elaborate but he said your nephew is in a critical condition.”
“Nephew? Who’s nephew? I don’t have a nephew yet. We are all unmarried.”
“I don’t know…but I think your Dad is very worried and I can hear your Mom’s crying when they called me.”
I am so confused…if this is their bait to bring me home, why are they in a children’s hospital? And who is the nephew they are talking about?
“I don’t understand what is happening Buddy…”
“Then why you will not call them? If this is really true, I think you have to hurry up.”
Mixed emotions are battling in my heart. I’m still hurting because of Mara and Cesar’s betrayal and now here comes another problem. But I’m also so confused as well as curious if who is in the hospital? Who is the nephew that JZ is talking about?
“ I think I need to go Bud…I will return tomorrow.”
“Ok…no problem. Just call if you need me.”
I hugged JZ and bid farewell to Elise. My mind is still in turmoil but now…for many different reasons. Who is in the hospital????
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Hey guys...Mara and Alex will come face to face again in the next chapter...full of tears...full of joy...keep reading and keep voting...love you to the bone :-)Boss