When I came back to the dorm that day around 12am, I didn't expect that the douwnpour hyung's were up and waiting for me but also Daniel, SeungWoo, DaeHwi, JongHyun, DongHo and JiHoon.
I tiredly opened the dorm door only to seconds later being attacked by a worried DaeHwi.
''YAH! HYUNG. HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME ANYTHING!?'' He hissed in my ear, when he let me go I saw a mix of frustration and worry in his eyes.
''I'm sorry DaeHwi-aah, I thought I could handle it but apparently not'' He knew what I was talking about. Back at JYP I also have had some anxiety attacks or mental breakdowns.
''I'm okay now though'' I tried to convince him '' I promise'' he signed and later said. '' Now that we know JaeHyun is alright, I'm going to sleep''
''YAH! Chen JaeHyun come here'' Jisung seriously commanded as he made a hand motion to all of them who sat in the center of the room.
As I sat down JongHyun hyung said '' The rest of us should probably go now that he know JaeHyun is alright, I think the team needs some privacy'' Daniel, SeungWoo, DongHo and JiHoon all left and some of them patted my head on the way out.
When the door closed we just sat there a few minutes in silence, I nervously began fiddling with my hands, waiting for one of them to say something.
''JaeHyun-ah...'' MinHyun Hyung broke the silence making me look up from the floor.
''Why didn't you tell us? Why didn't you ask us for help? Why did you push yourself so far that you almost broke down again. We know the history of your mental health, DaeHwi told us'' making me sign ''It's not really something I usually talk about you know. I never mentioned it because I was afraid that you, the trainers and the viewers would look at me differently, that you all would start to pity me and that is the last thing I would want. I have gotten enough pity for a lifetime'' I explained with my eyes glued to the floor.
'' And besides, I always told myself that if I pretend that IT isn't there, the voice inside my brain isn't there, maybe it would go away...'' I mumbled and tears started to slowly slide down my cheeks.
'' JaeHyun-ah. We are really sorry for not helping you and only focusing on the competition. We shouldn't have pressured you like we did. We are really sorry and from now on you will be able to rely on your hyungs more okay? We will be here for you'' SungWoon hyung said in a gentle voice before JaeHwan hyung who sat beside me attacked me in a hug making both of us fall to the ground.
'' We love you Hyun-ie! Our precious dongsaeng. Korea's number 1'' JaeHwan hyung said in a fake aegyo voice making all of us laugh and the serious tension in the room disappeared and they all threw themselves into the hug.
''Hyung's I-I-I can't breath, let me go'' I half joked, half pleaded.
'' Never, your my soulmate, I love you more than MinHyun'' JaeHwan hyung was still in his giddy mindset and spoke in a aegyo voice. '' YAH JaeHwan, You are strangling him'' JiSung laughed as he peeled him of me.
''It's already quarter to 1, let's sleep and practice hard'' SungWoo sleepily said as he crawled into his bed.
''Yeah. Let's all sleep. Goodnight kids'' Jisung said as he did the same as SungWoo.
After I had brushed my teeth, washed my face and changed into sleeping cloths and laid down in my bunkbed I started thinking about everything that had happened during the short time of filming this show. I had meet some of the most amazing people, I had experienced heartbreak, new love, pain and the strong bond that brothers can create. But my thoughts were interrupted by JaeHwan who came and lightly pushed me further in the bed and then laid down. This isn't the first time this has happened, he gets really cuddly when he is sleeping and usually sleepwalk to my bed and because I'm the only one younger than him in our team, he always came to me when he craved love. ''Good Night hyung'' I whispered before falling into sleep.
--------
The day has finally come! Today we were going to preform Downpour and what made me extra nervous was that ChungHa noona was here! I mean who wouldn't be nervous to perform a cover when the original artist is there.
'' Take deep breaths everyone. Let's show them'' Jisung hyung cheered us on and calmed our nerves.
''Downpour team, please come out'' Special MC LeeTeuk hyung announced as the crowd cheered really loud.
My hands were shaking as we went up on stage.
''1,2,3'' leader JiSung counted ''Hello we are Ni Na No. Please take care of us'' we all introduced and did a small dance when we said ni na no making the audience cheer and laugh.
''Individual trainee Chen JaeHyun'' LeeTeuk sunbae started.
''Yes?''
'' Is there anything you want to say?''
''Ahh, yes. I'm very thankful for my team they have all helped me a lot and I'm sure that we will do a great job today and impress our nation producers.'' I smiled my eyesmile and the audience cheered even louder and I'm pretty sure I could hear GunMin hyung from backstage shouting '' So Handsome! Our Flowerboy''
'' Individual trainee Kim JaeHwan. Do you have a rival in mind this time?'' LeeTeuk asked and JaeHwan Hyung looked a little nervous.
'' Starship's JungSeWoon'' he said after a few seconds '' and.. my JaeHyun-ie'' he laughed making everybody else also laugh.
''Your JaeHyun-ie?'' LeeTeuk asked amused by his word choice.
''Ne, my precious JaeHyun-ie'' he teased again an the very bad aegyo voice making me embarrassed.
''Yaaah, Hyuuung, stop'' I complained making everyone laugh and scream out ship name ''JaeJae''.
''Okay and last, leader Jisung, do you have something to add?''
'' We've prepared a cool performance to share with nations producers about our feelings. When listening I hope everyone can listen to it beautifully till the very end. Hwaiting!'' we all cheered as we made our way into position.
''Let's watch the trainees performance, It's SHOWTIME!'' LeeTeuk announced as he made his way off stage.
(parts: Jisung--> Hyunbin's. MinHyun--> Jisung's. SungWoo--> MinHyun's. JaeHyun--> SungWoon's. JaeHwan--> JaeHwan)
When the performance were done and we stepped down from the scene my hands were still shaking and my eyes were nowhere near dry.
''Yah JaeHyun-ah. You did fantastic why are you crying?'' Jisung hyung asked as he patted my back and laughed a bit.
'' I'm just really thankful that I got this opportunity and that I've met all go you. If this were gonna be my last performance I wouldn't regret anything'' My sobbing had decreased but there were still some solo tears here and there.
''Come on, let's go to the score board'' MinHyun lightly dragged me with him to another room where five seats were placed in front of a tv, just like when we got our scores for the first mission.
''We all did a great job'' Jisung hyung said to lighten up the mood.
''I'm so nervous'' SungWoon hyung said as he placed his hand on his chest. We all nodded in agreement as the screen displayed our names and positions.
Leader Yoon JiSung: 5th
SubVocal: Hwang MinHyun: 4th
SubVocal: Ha SungWoon: 3de
'' I think hyung got first'' I quickly said before the screen told us. ''No are you insane! Of course you got first. You are really popular and your vocals are goals!'' JaeHwan argued as he took my hand and squeezed it.
MainVocal Kim JaeHwan: 1st
SubVocal Chen JaeHyun: 1st
'' Whoaaaaw!'' Everyone shouted in surprise.
'' How did this happen?!'' I gasped chocked as JaeHwan hyung embraced me in a celebration hug.
'' I have no idea but you were right...'' He said while looking at me. ''huh?'' I asked unsure of what we meant.
'' I got first place'' he said and then bursted out in laughter.
''And yet again, JaeHwan's psycho laugh'' Minhyun Hyung laughed too and we all had a group hug before going backstage to the greenroom.
-----------
Happy new year guys:) Please comment if there is something or someone you want me to add to the story:)