(Just a little something for the Fili fans I might do more or maybe just create a new book dedicated to Fili let me know what you think.)
imagine being scared that Fili might get the dragon sickness
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Me and Fili have been in a relationship since the battle of the five armies. He told me he loves me but I never really answered him... I mean yes of course I like him I thaught that was quite obvious but there's just one thing... I am scared of commitment but im also scared to lose Fili and there is the fact that I could lose him to the dragon sickness that still lingers in the mountain it scares me to death that I could lose him to gold and yes we still have all the gold in the world in this mountain but eventually some of it went to lake town, Dale and other towns or villages that need it the most which is the most generosity your going to get out of thorin. I get pulled out of my thaughts when I feel someone shaking my shoulders and I see kili. Gah! I say in surprise since I was just thinking about his brother. Y/n are you ok? You were walking around in circles he says and I look around myself then back up at him. I was? Yes im fine... I think I say. He smiles slightly what were you thinking about anyway? I shake my head what? What makes you think I was thinking about anything? Because I wasn't thinking about anything or anyone... definitely not your brother at all why would you think that? I say before I could stop myself my voice getting higher by the end of the sentence. He smirks is that so... well if you were not thinking about my brother which I personally think you were what were you thinking about? Alright I was thinking of him but what else is there to do? I say and he chuckles I think there is a lot of things to do apart from thinking of Fili. I sigh where is Fili anyway? He smiles he's with thorin in the gold room. My eyes widen and before I could even think of what I am doing I race down the halls to the gold room.
Fili! I say running down the steps to the gold and I see him and thorin. He turns around when he hears his name and runs over to me. Y/n! What brings you down here? He asks. I sigh thinking of an explanation I can't tell him the real reason why im here but I do need to talk to him. Do you have a minute? I need to talk to you I say averting my gaze to the floor of gold as he turns to his uncle. Thorin? He says and his uncle nods yes we are done here anyway. Fili turns around and smiles at me come on he says. I nod following him up the steps. He leads me through the halls and soon we are outside the mountain on a hill. He sits on the ground and motions for me to sit so I do. A comfortable silence fills the air around us giving me time to think of what to say for I do actually need to talk to him then he turns to face me. So what is it you need to talk to me about? He asks. I avert my gaze to the soft grass below us to think of my words. I need to tell him about my fear of commitment. I hear him move closer to me and he lifts my chin up gently with his hand. You know you can tell me anything y/n you have known that since the start of the quest what is the change this time? He says as he moves his hand from my face to hold my hand. Maybe because this time I am scared to tell you... I say barely audible. He shrugs take your time I am in no rush and neither are you. I nod and start thinking about what I should say again. I look up at him after deciding just to tell him and get it over with. Fili... I start and he hums in response turning his gaze on me.
I sigh after the battle you said that you... love me but I didn't really give you an answer so I guessed I should explain why. He shakes his head sitting up more. No y/n I don't need an explanation I understand that you don't feel the same he says and I shake my head quickly. You misunderstood me Fili I do... like you but I thaught I should tell you I am not good with my feelings I am sorry I gave you the wrong idea I just... it scared me when you told me you love me... because a commitment is one of my biggest fears... you might have noticed for a period of time on the quest I tried to ignore you... well not so much you exactly but it was the feelings I had started to have for you that I tried to ignore... but it didn't work... all I know is that my feelings are growing stronger... apparently. He chuckles well that explains a lot but I just don't understand why you are afraid of commitment. I sigh and shrug i guess I have always had this fear I also have another but I prefer not to talk about it since it is rather stupid. He smiles I don't believe a fear could be stupid... we have time. I sigh I think you might think differently if I tell you. He shrugs only one way to find out.
I sigh contemplating on if i should tell him. Alright,you win I'll tell you but on one condition I say and he smiles and what might that be? You must let me call you lionheart I say and he chuckles why call me that? I smile because you remind me of a lion and you are relentless but gentle to who you love like a lions heart. He smiles back thank you, you may call me lionheart if you wish... now back to your fear. I sigh and look to the mountain (which is our view) then back at Fili. You are one of durins sons and that means thorins grandfather is thror... I am afraid of losing you to the dragon sickness... thror went mad over the gold and we almost lost thorin you are the heir to his throne... which means we could lose you I don't know what I would do without you Fili I say with a tear slipping from my eye. Y/n how long has this been on your mind? He asks and I sigh well after the battle I started to get nightmares and since then i have been thinking that it could happen. He moves closer to me and wraps an arm around me.
Look at me he says and I look at him tears threatening to spill. Please don't let that worry you I might be of durin blood but I would never do that to you. Gold is the last thing on my mind besides I think we still have a few years left before I am king. He pulls me into a hug and that's when I let the tears out still terrified of the thaught that haunts my mind almost everyday. I bury my face into his chest forgetting about my commitment fear momentarily. Y/n stop your tears I'm not going anywhere he whispers into my ear. I pull away and sigh don't make promises you can't keep Fili. He sighs and brings me closer to his chest again. Y/n you mean so much to me I couldn't break that promise even if I tried I love you that much I can't explain it I love you more than life itself please I would never even think about doing that to you it hurts me seeing you like this... crying over something that won't ever happen he says and I look up at him. He wipes away my tears with his thumb and rests his warm hand on my cheek moving slightly closer. I avert my eyes to the ground for a second before looking up at him again. He stands up then helps me up and I watch him curiously he's thinking about something and I don't know what it is. He comes closer to me until our chests touch.
Forgive me for this he whispers but before I could reply he kisses me and I slowly melt into him, hesitating of course. I feel the metal beads that are on the bottom of his moustache on my skin then I feel him putting his arms around my waist but I pull away from the close contact. What's wrong? He asks realising my hesitation. I... no nevermind it's okay I say with a slight smile but he doesn't seem to believe me. He pulls away but doesn't break the closeness. Y/n it's not okay, is something bothering you? If your uncomfortable with this just tell me he says. I sigh nervously no Fili nothing is bothering me... I say not meeting his gaze. He lifts my chin up then what is it? He says softly. I shake my head I'm fine it's just... this is the closest I've ever been to someone I say trying to hide my blush. He chuckles y/n I think in my opinion that this is the easiest part. I look up at him it is? I say and he nods yes because all you have to do is let me kiss you. I smile slightly oh... well I guess that's ok I say and he smiles waiting for my answer so I nod and he leans in meeting my lips. He slowly moves his hands to my waist as I try not to jump away again. He smirks against my lips making a shiver go down my spine don't be shy he mumbles. He kisses me again and I hesitantly put my hands on his chest. He slowly pulls away and looks into my eyes. I love you y/n never forget that. I smile slightly and at that moment I realise something... since I met Fili all those butterflies, blushing and the feeling of my heart getting faster every time he approached me or talked to me was... the feeling of falling in love. I... I love you too Fili I say quietly. He smiles and leans his forehead against mine I know you do, your actions speak louder than words he whispers.
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Hope you all enjoyed that little Fili imagine, anyone think I should write his own imagine book too? Let me know bye!
Bluewolf