Perrie
Ever since I was younger, I have always been mesmerized by the thought of love.
Back then, I knew that love was the only thing keeping my mam from strangling my brother and I whenever we fought, the only thing that kept my brother from killing me whenever I had done something to him and the only thing that kept me from killing my brother.
As the years went by and as I got older, I slowly understood and found meaning to what love really is. Love is when you care and show concern for someone, making sure that they are happy. It can be manifested for everyone, either to your family, to your pets, to all your loved ones.
It is a commitment to a person.
Personally, I've found love a few times back. Even though I got hurt at the end, I would be lying if I said that there wasn't love between it. Of course there was love, but it was just not enough, not the right kind of love. It was love that wasn't meant to last.
Now that I've found it again, I found a whole new other meaning of love, and I've become more mesmerized of the thought of being in love. It's knowing someone's weaknesses and not taking advantage of them. It's knowing someone's flaws and accepting who they are. Love is making sure that the other is happy and in return, it makes you happy as well. It's suppose to be a give and take process. That's what I learned when I got with Alex. He makes me happy every second that we're together, and I make sure to make him happy as well.
Love is overcoming obstacles, facing challenges and fighting to be together. In our case, since both of us travel a lot, being away from each other is our largest trial. Love is in the efforts that both of us make for each other. The distances we go just to see a glimpse of each other's smiles. I make sure to be in his every game whenever I have the time, to support and cheer for him. Even though he wouldn't hear my chants from where I'm seated, I want my mere presence to be the best boost of confidence and drive for him.
He too has gone miles for me. He stayed a whole week with me on tour. It was his week off and the fact that he rarely gets it and he decides to spend it with me, to travel with me and support my shows warms my heart up to its very entirety. I don't think I've been this in love with anyone before, he brings my definition of love to a whole other level.
Being with Alex, I learned that though our love is also measured by the extent of the measures we make, it is also found in the little things. The love I see in his eyes whenever he stares at me. The way he wakes me up in the mornings with soft kisses. The way I feel safe and protected whenever he has his arms around me or when my hand is engulfed in his.
The little gestures that he does makes my heart skip a beat. When he pulls me aside when we're walking in the street, when he tucks stray hairs behind my ears and even when he just smiles at me from a far. And whenever he kisses me, sparks ignite and love just overflows like fireworks lighting up the sky, making the pit of my stomach churn. I've never felt it with anyone before, just him. That's why I'm assured that he's the one I love and will be loving forever.
I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard the alarm clock go on. I reach over to turn it off on his side of the bed, careful not to wake him. I've been up for almost an hour, and all I've been doing is watch him sleep, thinking about how much I love him while running my fingers through his hair.
I scoot closer to him, propping myself on my elbows a little higher, returning my fingers to run through his hair. I stare at his face while he slumbers, a subtle smile spreading across my face.
To me he is perfect. His freckles are situated in the perfect places, his eyelashes long and thick, his nose is well defined and his lips visibly soft
I just love the entirety of this man.
I smile a little wider as he shifts on the bed, his eyes slowly fluttering open. "Morning, my handsome man." I say to him, still running my fingers through his hair.
He smiles at me and grabs my arm and buries his face on it for a brief moment. "Well, this is a nice way to wake up everyday. I could get used to this." He says as he kisses my hand.
I giggled at his gesture and leaned in to give him a quick kiss on the lips. "Happy birthday, my love." I said to him as I broke the kiss. He smiled at me and grabbed me by the nape and pulled me in for another kiss. "Thanks baby." He said, kissing me again one more time.
"Now come on and pose for the camera!" Giddily, I bolted up and grabbed my phone to take a picture of him. He threw his head back and laughed at my antics, stretching his arms out wide. Luckily, I was fast enought to capture the moment.
"What? I wasn't ready!" He complained as he heard the click of the camera shutter. He tried to grab my phone from me but I was too fast. "You look absolutely great, I promise." I said as I typed a caption for the photo on Instagram. "Yeah, says the one who took a video of me while sleeping and adding a filter on it." He jokingly mumbled.
I threw my head back and laughed at the memory. It was when we were on vacation, and I was up pretty early and was absolutely bored, so I took a Snapchat vid of him sleeping with a makeup filter on. My, the tickles I got after he saw that. "You've gotta learn to let that go, babe."
"Ha! I'm still plotting my revenge. The mixers have been telling me to get you back, you know." He said as he sat up, leaning on the headboard. "My, how the mixers love you." I said.
The mixers really loved him indeed. When he was on tour with us, the mixers were crowding on him, asking for a photo, to sign some autographs and telling him they love him. And they just keep on tagging him in photos on Instagram, keeping him updated of my whereabouts or congratulating him on his matches.
"Yep, of course they do." He kid, laughter erupting from both of us. "But seriously, I'm just glad they like me. I wouldn't want to get trampled whenever I watch one of your shows." He added.
"They know you're good for me. Plus, I love having you around on shows." I said, crawling back beside him.
I do love it when he comes to watch my shows. I was on a high for a week when he was present in all the shows for a week in a row. When he was on tour with us, he was at every show along with Andre. And the fans loved him, running for him whenever he passed by to get to his seat.
I just love it when I get a glimpse of him in the audience or at the side of the stage, watching me perform. It makes the butterflies in my stomach go on a rampage, especially that one time when I caught him waving his phone flashlight during Secret Love Song. It was the cutest thing ever because he was standing out, since he was the only one doing that in the private box, with only him and Andre on it. I couldn't help but look at Jesy as the blush crept to my face, a smile spreading across my face like a little schoolgirl in love.
Another reason why I love having him around on tour is having to spend a lot of time with him. We get to explore the cities whenever we have free time, visiting some cool tourist spots and trying out the food. In general, I just love sharing these amazing moments with him.
"Happy birthday, again." I said, draping my arm over him, engulfing him a tight hug. "I'm sorry if my personal greeting came a day late." I said, a tinge of guilt dawning in on me. I was away yesterday, doing some promo and I wasn't able to spend his actual birthday with him. I mean, I did call him yesterday, and basically screamed at him a loud 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY!' but I still a bit down, I wasn't there for him. I just arrived a few hours ago and I immediately came in bed with him, to surprise him when he wakes up.
"It's okay, babe. You're here now, That's what matters. Plus, I really appreciated your call, even though it almost made me lose my hearing." He joked, earning a light punch from me on the arm.
I'm trying to spend a lot of time with him as possible since he's extra busy with training for the England team for their upcoming matches all over the world. In addition to that, I'm also about to leave to continue the next leg of our tour. We would be miles apart again, so you can't blame us if we just want to spend time with each other while we can. It's going to be a lonely few weeks again, being away from one another, missing each other tremendously.
Jade
"Jade! Jade! Jade!" I woke to the sound of loud banging on my door, and Paul screaming for my name. We were in Las Vegas for the iHeartRadio festival, and we were staying in this amazing hotel. They gave us separate rooms even though we almost practically begged them to let us stay in one. They insisted since we had to get ready at the same time, and having so much people to do hair and make-up for four girls in a tight room would be chaotic.
I slipped into my minnie mouse slippers and rushed to the door. "What is it, Paul? It's two in the morning. I thought call time was at 7?" I asked him as I opened the door. "No, Jade. It's Perrie, something is wrong with her. The girls are already on their way to her room." I bolted out of the room as soon as I heard. I tried to calmly walk towards her room when I saw Leigh and Jes along with some of the assistants and crew running ahead of me, so I started to run to catch up as well.
"Do you know what's happened to her?" I asked as I caught up with Leigh. "No, they just said it's bad." We were following Jesy as we entered her room. Perrie's room was packed with members of our team---assistants, even Aaron and Adam were there trying to help her. We saw Claud already in the room, so was our manager and Paul had just entered the room, rushing towards her. All their faces were plastered with worry.
She was in her bed, in fetal position, sweat all over her. She was grunting and crying in pain. She had her hands clutching her abdomen and she looked really pale. Claud was trying to rub her back, but with a look of concern on his face. He knew that it wasn't helping at all and he was pretty worried, all of us were.
The girls and I immediately ran towards her. I crawled to sit on the side of the bed with her while Jesy took the other side. Leigh sat close to me and started running her hands up and down Perrie's arm. I started to rub her back as well, making an effort to make her feel better even though it won't.
"Pez, are you alright?" Jes asked her, trying to move her hair from her face. The only answer we got was a stifled scream of pain. Perrie was our best friend and we know that she is really strong and she has quite a high pain tolerance, she can handle a lot of things. Seeing her under this much pain is really concerning since she's having a really massive reaction towards it, which was unlikely of her. We can't help but think that this was probably something serious.
"Maybe it's her stomach again. Did you guys give her her medicine?" Leigh asked, looking at the rest of the people in the room. "We already did, but it seems like it's not working." One of the assistants answered. "Oh, Pez. Hang in there." I tried to wrap my arm around her. She literally looked so weak and fragile, laying there on the bed.
She slowly sat up and reached for the bucket one of the assistants were holding. "Pass her the bucket!" I yelled, getting the bucket and giving it to Perrie. When she got it, she immediately threw up, her back yanking up and down. I normally would be grossed out by the situation since my gag reflex was very on point, but I think they were masked by the worry I had for Perrie.
Her skin was cold as ice when I held her arm after she wiped her mouth. She was drenched in sweat, her skin paler than usual and she looked so weak. "Okay, Perrie. We're taking you to the hospital, whether you like it or not." Paul said, walking towards Perrie. "No, I'm fine." She managed to say with a faint voice.
"No you're not, babe." Leigh told her as she helped Perrie move her legs to the floor. "But the performance---" She didn't get to finish her sentence when she clutched her stomach in pain again. "We'll be alright, Pez. The fans will understand. You're what's important here." I told her, as I pulled the cover off of her. "Come on, Perrie. Let them take you to the hospital, no more resisting." Jesy said, placing her hand on Perrie's shoulder.
She slumped back and slowly nodded her head, giving in to our requests. That's the thing about Perrie, she doesn't want to let anybody down, even the fans. She tries to mask everything so she could just make everyone happy.
"Somebody get a car ready." Paul instructed as he and Claud help her up. "You stay here girls, you can visit her after the show." He added as he guided Perrie out of the door. We nodded our heads and followed them out of Perrie's room. It was painful to see her in such agony, she was walking really limp and you could tell she was in so much pain.
"By the way, make sure you call her mam and try to get a hold of Alex for her." Jesy told the assistant who was going with them to the hospital.
"I'll try and text Alex as well. Perrie said earlier that he was on his way to Russia." I said, fishing out my phone from my pajama pocket.
I hope Perrie is alright. All the girls and the rest of the crew are very worried about her. She's such a ray of sunshine and seeing her in that state is very painful. She's just so strong.
Alex
"Russia here we are!" One of my teammates said as we landed. We were in Russia with the Englad team for a match. My phone has been turned off the whole duration and I haven't had the time to open it yet.
We went to get some food first and roamed around for a bit before we decided to head to our hotel and rest up for training this afternoon.
I slumped down on the bed after I dumped my things on the floor. I've only just felt the exhaustion now that I was already in a comfy bed. For some odd reason though, I felt like I couldn't get comfortable at all, like as if something was terribly wrong.
After taking a quick shower, only then did I noticed that I haven't turned my phone on. I picked it up and turned it on and set it on the bed as I got dressed. When it came back to life, it immediately started to go off from the notifocations.
I was stunned to see five missed calls from Paul, one missed call from my mam and another one from Perrie's mam. There were also texts from Jade and Paul. Seeing all these, I felt a sudden pang of worry down to the pit of my stomach.
I started to open their text messages from around 6 hours ago.
From: Jade Thirwall
Hey Alex, I know you're on your way to Russia and all, but just wanted to let you know that they brought Pez to the hospital today. She was in so much pain and it was just bad. Don't worry too much though, we'll take care of her.
From: Paul LM
Alex, just wanted to tell you that we brought Perrie to the hospital this morning. She was in so much pain and it just looked really bad. She's getting checked out by the doctors right now. Will update you again later.
From: Paul LM
She's fine now, Alex. No need to worry. We've also called her mam and is already catching a flight to come here. She was having some gastric problems because of something she ate and her stomach history just made it a little worse. But, she's fine now, she's been given something for the pain and She's currently asleep.
As soon as I read the message, I felt like my whole world fell apart. My heart started to beat really fast and my hands went all clammy. I sat on the edge of the bed and ran my hands over my face. I hope she's alright.
I swear, if only I could fly there right now, I would. I couldn't imagine the pain she could've felt, it must have been really extreme for her to react that massively.
I feel worry and concern dawn all over me.
I immediately dialled Jade's number. I paced around the room as I waited for her to answer.
Jade: Hello, Alex?
Alex: Jade? How's Pez? Is she alright?
Jade: I don't know, Alex. We haven't seen her since this morning. We're preparing for our performance right now, but Paul said she's fine now. He's here to finalize some things but he'll be back with Perrie later.
Alex: You mean, She's alone there right now?
Jade: Oh no, she has her assistant with her there and her mam is gonna arrive tomorrow morning. Don't worry when we visit her tonight, I'll bring her phone so you can call her.
Alex: Alright, Jade. Good luck on your show. Thanks a lot.
I sank back on my bed after I dropped the call. I feel so worried for her and I feel so frustrated that I couldn't be with her. I hope she's feeling better. I wish I could only take her pain away, so she wouldn't suffer at all.
Training was extra hard today. I wasn't totally in my right mind as we did some drills. I just kept on thinking about Perrie. I just wanted to be with her. Good thing, our manager didn't really notice that I was off today and he ended training quite early. I decided not to join them for dinner, making a lame excuse about being really tired.
I went back to my hotel room, waiting for Jade's text so I can call Perrie and talk to her. As I sat down on the chair, I hear my phone ring.
Jade: Alex, we're here and she has her phone already. She's awake now and you can call her.
I immediately FaceTimed Perrie's phone, anxious on hearing her voice. It took around 5 rings before she answered, and I felt a whole pang of relief dawn all over me.
"Hey, Alex." I feel my heart drop to my stomach when I heard her voice. She sounded so weak and frail, contrast to her usual bubbly self. She looked really tired, with a weak smile plastered on her face. It's saddening to her in such a state.
My heart aches for her.
"Hey, baby." I gently said as I sat down on the bed. "How are you feeling?" I asked her. She gave out a light chuckle and a faint smile spreading across her face. "Like a hundred sacks of cement fell on me, but I'm fine now. Just a bit tired." She said.
"I'm sorry, I can't be there with you." I said to her. She tilted her head and smiled at me. Her smile, even at its weakest can still bright up a whole room.
"It's okay, baby. I understand. Stop worrying, okay? I want you to focus on your match tomorrow. Do it for me." She said. This is one of the things I love about her. She cares for everyone even though she's at her weakest.
"I will, baby. I'll think about you the whole time. You get some rest, okay?" I stare at her face, her weak features and her droopy eyes. Her skin paler than it already is.
"I will. Bye, baby. I love you." Her wide smile, taking over my phone screen. "I love you, baby. Bye." And with that, the call was ended.
I made sure that the match went smoothly and that my performance was exemplary. I thought about her all the time, my eagerness to see her made me exert more effort. We went home with victory in our hands.
Especially for me, the victory for me was getting back home to see Perrie. She flew back home yesterday with her mam and the girls. They told me she was resting at her house.
Her mam answered the door after a few knocks. I gave her a kiss on the cheeks and gave her some fruits for her and Perrie. She led me to Perrie's room and told me she'd be downstairs if we needed anything.
I slowly went inside Perrie's room, creeping in if ever she was asleep. "Hey there, stranger." I look up and see her on her bed, under the covers with Hatchi laying by her feet.
"Hey, baby." I walked towards her and saw her smile, brightening up the dark room. She patted the space beside her on the bed. "Come on, I missed you."
I layed beside her and wrapped my arms around her. She scooted closer to me, snuggling her head in the crook of my neck.
"How are you?" I whispered as I gently stroked her hair. "I'm better now that you're here. And you're cuddles are all I need to get even better." She whispered back as she snuggled even closer to me.
I wrapped my arms around her tighter, feeling her warmth against me. I couldn't be happier to be with her right now. Making sure she is safe and well.
I feel her breath getting more even and her body getting still. I smile at the sound of her soft barely there snores as her breath hit my neck. I kissed her forehead and admired her sleeping form. I don't want to be anywhere else but here.
***
HERE! I'M SORRY IF IT TOOK TOO LONG TO UPDATE. I JUST GOT REALLY BUSY WITH SCHOOL AND STUFF. AND I'M ALSO SORRY IF IT SUCKS, I HAD TO RUSH IT SINCE I REALLY NEED TO STUDY. I HOPE YOU LIKE IT THOUGH. PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT AND DON'T FORGET TO VOTE.