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ABIGALE
The weekend with my dad was a hell. He was drunk most of the time and the only thing I did is take care of him and wait for Zayn to send me a message... but it never came.
After packing my suitcase I go to say goodbye to my dad. He's still hung over so he just groans but eventually gives me a small hug after I had insisted on it. Eventhough he's a handful to take care, I still missed him deeply.
Being with the Malik's is nice to get my mind off of everything for a while. It gives me space to breath.
Then I realise that I don't have a ride back to the mansion. Maybe I should give Zayn a call?
I take my phone from my pocket and it takes a few rings before I hear his voice.
"Abigale?" He asks, sounding confused.
"Yeah, it is me. I'm coming back, but I don't have a ride so I thought that maybe you could come and get me?" I ask with a small smile gracing my lips.
That smile suddenly dissapears when I hear a female giggle in the background.
"Who was that?" I ask trying not to sound too jealous. As long as we're not officialy together I feel like I don't have the right to act jealous and possessive. It's not right.
"That was Safaa." He stumbles over his words sounding very nervous suddenly.
"And?"
"It's Safaa." He repeats himself.
"No. I mean, can you pick me up?" I make myself clear and raise my eyebrows at the strange behaviour he's putting up.
"It's not a good time. I'm not home."
What?
"But you were with Safaa?"
I'm so confused.
A beep is heard and when I look down at my phone I see that he has hung up on me.
I look gobsmacked at my phone. Did he really just do that? I'm a hundred percent sure that the giggle wasn't Safaa's and him hunging up just confirmed my suspicions.
Is that what he does when I'm not around? Look for company with others? I cringe at the thought and I can only hope Zayn is decent enough to at least don't do anything with others girls now we're in this strange situation.
I decide walking towards the mansion wouldn't hurt. Some fresh air would hopefully help me clear my head from the frustrations all caused by a certain dark haired boy with caramel eyes.
»»»
I press on the doorbell and seconds later a woman around the age of fifty opens the door for me. She gives me a kind smile.
"Hello. I'm Janice." She greets, extending her hand as I give it a shake.
"Abigale."
"I'm the cleaning lady." She explains.
Wait, she finally healed? She has been sick for a month or so. I'm happy she's the one who'll do the cleaning now, eventhough I don't do a lot in the household here. Since Mrs. Malik started making more trips and not coming home, she also didn't put down notes for me anymore. She'll never know I didn't clean a lot. Janice is here now.
I walk inside as Janice closes the door behind me.
"Where are the girls?" I ask her politely.
"In the living room, I think."
I thank her and then walk towards the room where the girls would currently be.
"Missed me?" I ask as I stand in the door frame, suitcase next to me. The three of them are watching a movie.
Their heads snap up at me as Safaa directly runs over hugging my leg tightly. I pick her up swiftly and hold her close to me.
I've grown so attached to this little girl in my arms. You can't imagine how much I missed her and will miss her. The yelling, the whining, the always getting what she wants but especially all her positive traits.
"Zayn was such a jerk without you." She whisper in my ear and then giggles in my neck at the use of her bad word. She must've gotten it from Waliyha.
I smile feeling quite good about myself, knowing Zayn is different when I'm not around. Different in a negative way. I must've gotten a good influence on him than I guess?
I put Safaa on her feet again and then go over to Waliyha and Doniya who also greet me with a hug.
"Lets have a girls night." Doniya suggests. Safaa smiles proudly at the mention that she's also one of the 'older' girls today.
"Yeah, it can be a welcome back thing for Abby and a goodbye for Doniya." Waliyha says.
I almost forgot that she'll leave again tomorrow. It's really nice to have a girl like her around eventhough I missed a few days with her. Since we're close in age and she's got some life experience already it's handy to go to her for advice. I'll miss that.
"Okay." We all agree to Waliyha's preposition.
This is my first real girls night and I must admit it's exciting.
»»»
All the girls are asleep by now. I already brought Safaa to her room, but bringing Waliyha and Doniya would be to difficult. I laugh at myself at the stupid thought.
I hear the front door shut and I quickly walk towards it hoping it's Zayn coming home. But to my surprise Aron is standing there right in front of me. Frustration is clear on his face.
"Aron? It's 1 am, what are you doing here?" I ask confusedly.
"You've got to come, something's up with Zayn." He motions towards the door as I feel myself becoming more confused. What is he talking about?
"Aron, what happened?" I walk towards him laying my hand on his shoulder to calm him down. "You can tell me."
"He's losing control, you have to come with me." He pleads again, he's in a rush. In his eyes I can see that whatever's going on with Zayn, it's bad.
"Give me one minute." I quickly run up the stairs and throw on a sweater along with my skinny jeans and a pair of Converse.
I pull my hair in a pony tale while running down the stairs towards Aron. I don't know what's happening there but I'm about to find out.
"Doniya, I'm back in a few minutes." I yell, hoping she'd wake up from it.
I close the door behind me, slipping the key in my pocket.
While we drive Aron taps against the steering wheel impatiently. It makes me nervous and him not talking to me makes it worse. I retrieve my phone from my pocket and decide to text Doniya in case she didn't hear me.
It looks like hours have passed by when we finally stop in front of a club filled with people. In the front yard, on the balconies, just everywhere. This looks like a scene from the movies to be honest.
Aron gets out in a second and runs around the car opening the door for me. Even in a hurry and stress situation he doesn't lose his manners.
"Thanks. Where is he?" I ask looking around to maybe find him sitting somewhere. I have missed him this weekend and that mixed with my worries for him now, makes me more desperate to see him.
"In the back in there." He points towards the club and we quickly run up to the entree of the club.
I first thought that people would all stare weirdly at me, because I'm here in only a sweater and some jeans while all the girls are wearing tight dresses whom expose way too much.
But than I remember that everyone here is drunk. Very drunk. They don't mind at all.
There's a long line of people who want to enter the club but when Aron says something to one of the bouncers standing in front of the entrance, they open the door for us.
My eyes immediately start wandering around, in hope they'd find Zayn. Aron had told me that he's in the back of the club.
I push through the sweating bodies who seem to be all over the place and a never ending pool of them.
The crowd finally becomes smaller as I reach the back of the club. Against the walls I see multiple people snogging and doing things they'd better do at home. Yikes.
I see a pair of stairs that lead to some calmer area with less people. I turn around looking for Aron and as I thought he's standing right behind me giving me a nod towards the stairs.
We make our way up. There are couches and some poker tables and I can finally breath again. I hate big crowds.
When I look around and my eyes land on a familiar person and I start to feel very dizzy all of the sudden. There he is.
He's sat on a couch, but what really got me shocked is the girl sitting on his lap while whispering things in his ear. A small smirk is plastered on his face. I can not see her face, only red hair falling over her shoulders as her back is turned towards me.
His eyes close in pleasure as she starts trailing kisses down his neck. I'm disgusted by the scene in front of me. With tears welling up in my eyes I turn back towards Aron.
"Is this why you brought me here?" I ask in disbelief.
I'm so angry right now. Infuriated by how he brought my here as if Zayn was in serious trouble.
"Abigale, you need to know something." He says taking a step closer.
"What?" I snap throwing my hands in the air.
"He's under influence. He doesn't know what he's doing and you should take him home. He'll regret this badly tomorrow." He says slowly while putting his hands on my shoulder as if he's giving me a motivational speech.
I look at him with disbelief. I thought the night he had hurt me while being under influence was a one time thing. Him using drugs frequently hadn't come up to me.
"Just a moment ago he was fighting. I don't know how he ended up here, but please do something." His hands go over his face and through his hair in frustration. "I'm sure he'll only listen to you."
Zayn is lucky to have friends like Aron who only want the best for him. He can say all he want about Aron, but he clearly only got good intentions. I hope he's right about Zayn regretting this in the morning.
I groan before turning around to Zayn and the red haired girl on his lap. This is not what I signed up for when I accepted the job.
He doesn't know what he's doing, I kept repeating to myself but I have a hard time trying to sound convincing. You always have some sort of control about what you're doing right?
I have to force myself not to cry as I take another step closer towards the scene in front of me. By now their lips are locked and they're in the middle of a make-out session. Anger builds up in me. How can he do this?
"Leave him alone." I hiss through gritted teeth giving the girl a push on her shoulder to get her attention. But instead of grabbing her attention she loses her balance and falls off of Zayn's lap. I didn't mean for that to happen, but I'm glad it did.
Zayn first looks at the girl confused but when he meets my eyes his expression changes completely.
"Abigale?" He rubs his eyes like he's dreaming this. His pupils are huge, showing Aron is right. I don't want to know what he's under right now. It won't be something soft.
"Zayn, we're going home." I demand with a scowl on my face. The girl on the ground scoffs before getting up on her feet.
"Bye." She huffs and I roll my eyes. I don't have time for that right now. My main concern is getting Zayn away from here.
A mix of emotions flash over his face, but the one that comes out the most is worry or is it regret?
"But-." He starts to protest.
"NOW!" I yell loudly surprising him and myself. I was not putting up with his shît right now. My patience is already running thin and the fact that I had just witnessed him and the other girl doesn't help.
Zayn tries to stand up from the couch, but fails terribly. Letting him walk himself won't be an option.
"Aron." I yell over my shoulder. He walks over to Zayn and supports him while we all make our way out of the club.
It went easier than I thought it'd go. I had at least expected him to protest more.
I looked back over my shoulder once before going down the stairs to see the red haired girl totally passed out on the ground. I wonder how intoxicated she must have been also. I won't be a healthy amount running through her body right now.
Aron places Zayn in the backseat where he directly falls onto his side not able to compose himself anymore. I stay quiet the whole ride, until Aron parks in front of the house.
"How long has this been going on?" I ask trying to fight back the clear disappointment overtaking me. I feel so bad right now, I feel lied to and betrayed.
"I've got no right to answer that." He says matter of factly looking backwards at Zayn. "You should discuss that with him."
I nod understanding that he wants to be loyal towards zayn and I respect that. I get out of the car and Aron helps me taking Zayn in the house and down the stairs to his room.
"Thank you Aron. You're a really good friend." I tell him softly, giving him a thankful kiss on the cheek.
"No problem." He leaves the house and now I'm standing in Zayn's door frame watching him passed out on the bed. I had checked if he might need an ambulance but he's just sleeping.
I bite down on my lip watching his sleeping figure.
I knew from the beginning that falling in love with a person like him'd hurt me. I know the best thing to do for me is to try and stop liking him but that is easier said than done unless I'd leave. But I could never do that to Waliyha and Safaa.
Is it a sign though that Zayn and I always have to go through things like this? We fight often, we easily ignore each other for a week and then you've got Mrs Malik, Perrie... There's always something that drives us apart.
Normally I'd say that we'll come out stronger but the problem is that by the time we're stronger, we're already fighting again. This feels like a vicious circle. I honestly love Zayn with all my heart but is this really necessary? With that I mean me getting hurt constantly and him acting like he doesn't care about that at all.
What'd even happen with us after this summer?
I wipe under my eyes getting rid of a tear that had escaped. I turn around and go to my own bedroom.
»»»
I'm laying in my bed, thinking of everything that happened last night. The last thing I want right now is to be in the same room as Zayn. My eyes are red and puffy from the few cry sessions I had. I hate feeling this poorly.
Someone knocks on my bedroom door startling me. I hold my breath for a few seconds until I hear Doniya's voice at the other side.
"Can I come in?" She asks.
"Yeah." I reply quickly, relieved it's her.
I turn around on the matress so I'm face down in the pillow. She shouldn't see the state I'm in.
"Are you alright?" She asks while sitting down next to me on the bed. She puts her hand on my back rubbing comforting patterns on it.
"No." I murmur lowly into the pillow.
"Does it have to do with Zayn? Because he's a big mess downstairs." She states. The hangover must be hitting him hard.
"Maybe."
"What did he do now?" A sigh is heard.
"He made out with another girl." I feel like crying again as the scene replays in my head.
"Under influence of drugs." I add.
"I knew it." She says more to herself than to me.
"And the strange thing is that I still feel something for him. No matter what he does, it doesn't go away. I love him but I don't want to continue this way. I'm only going to get hurt more." I groan into the pillow after my little rant in frustration.
Why is everything with him so complicated?
"Love, everything will be alright. Just go for what makes you happy." Her calming hand disappears from my back.
"I have to leave now." She says quitely. I jump up immediately.
"No, no, no, no." She can't leave now. I'd have to go downstairs to take care of the girls and face Zayn if she isn't here. I also just need her around for advice, she is so helpful.
Doniya steps towards me and engulfs me in a tight hug.
"You'll survive. Call me if you need me." With that she turns around as she leaves me in my room alone again. I wait for a minute when I hear the front door shut. It isn't a joke.
I don't know if I can do this without Doniya. This is the time that I need her the most.