Welcome back everyone :)
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My mouth went dry. Well, drier than it already was after Mr. Tanaka practically dropped the Itomori Memorial news right onto our laps. Any trace of the calm and collected version of me this morning went down the drain after two surprises that could make a run for top surprises ever in my life.
I wasn't sure if I wanted to laugh or cry. But then again, I've been feeling like that a lot lately. I'd be more concerned about it if it weren't for the fact that I knew exactly what was causing both my suffering and joy.
Mitsuha stood still in front of me, hiding the fact that my presence had completely thrown her off as hers did to me. With the same clear smile she showed me weeks ago at the cafe, she bowed. "Hello, everyone. I am honored to be here to work with this company. On behalf of my hometown I extend our deepest gratitude for this project. Truly, all proceeds will go towards disaster recovery because we are still in the slow process of mending—mending families, destroyed houses, and the semblance of normal life."
As her thin smile envelopes the silent room, Mr. Tanaka smartly found himself a seat so Mitsuha could take over. I could sense the great difficulty that she had in talking about Itomori, but I marveled at her smooth ease as she covered all the parts Mr. Tanaka had not mentioned before. Her voice never betrayed the grief I almost certainly knew she felt. I was going through the same.
It must have been even worse for her. My throat tightened up at this new thought.
"Eight years ago, the disaster left me with a broken house and broken relationships. Nothing can describe the screams I heard around town that night. Some of my friends were equally shocked and hurt as me, others...weren't even lucky enough to see the next day." A pause followed, her eyes desperately searching the room for an emotional connection.
It worked. Her speech made everyone a little more alert, sit up a tad straighter because it stole their attention so marvelously. Nobody seemed to exhale audibly, for fear that they would miss a word of the enchantment.
"I can't take back the lives that have been lost. I wish I can, but I can't. The most sincere way I can honor those who regretfully lost their lives in the disaster is to create a memorial site for them. For us, the living, as well. A terrible fantasy-come-true story like ours should not be forgotten. Those memories from eight years ago are just as fresh as the moment it happened. Tokyo has optimal resources and publicity for us to use this to our advantage. I strongly believe that we can draw the attention of the public to remind them of the terrible accident that they've mostly forgotten about by now. The wellbeing of our town will partly be entrusted to all of you from today on. I look forward to working with each and every individual in here. Thank you for your time today."
Mitsuha ended her presentation with an abrupt bow. There was deafening silence—I wasn't the only one who felt awed, shocked. Then I remembered that she was still bowing, so I shot up and started clapping. Enough eyes followed me that made me feel my ears redden out of self consciousness. But my actions were enough to remind everyone about proper etiquette, and soon other clapping alleviated my embarrassing burst of action. I quickly sat back down, praying that Mitsuha hadn't seen the spontaneous scene.
I curiously looked up at her. She hadn't seen it; her eyes immediately followed Mr. Tanaka as she came out of her bow to shake hands with him. For a brief moment, I felt jarring disappointment. Then I felt a nudge on my arm.
"Hey, hey...she's kind of cute isn't she? We should sign up together to work with her." Matsume whispered none too softly. I snapped my attention to his face. He was sincerely looking at me, almost as if implying something.
"No no no. I have my own work to finish." I started feebly, feeling the floor slipping beneath me again. This was a sticky situation. "I'd probably have to work overtime if I take on a new project from scratch. You're more creative at design than I am anyways." I didn't plan on telling anyone about my past with Mitsuha, and I was too afraid to ruin the frigid peace we had between us. The best way to ensure that was to stay out of her project, well planned and thoughtful as it was, for the wellbeing of the two of us.
The worst case would be that she and I would be unable to cooperate efficiently together, affecting our performance as a whole during the assuredly months of work we'd need to put in for this memorial. No, it wouldn't work.
"Mitsuha-san, may I have a second of your time to speak with you?" Matsume's voice barely registered before my eyes widened and I looked to my side. He was gone. Instead, he was standing near the front, where only a few people milled about to finish the last of their morning coffee or to speak with Mr. Tanaka. The rest had emptied the room to start the routine of daily tasks they had to complete at their own tables. What was I even dawdling in here for?
I started to move towards the door, attempting to weave in between people so I could avoid Mitsuha. Then I heard a voice that made me slow. "Taki, would you like to join me?"
I cursed Matsume in my mind.
A pale, watercolor smile blossomed on my face. "I'd be glad to, but I really need to use the bathroom. Must have had something bad at home." He didn't need to know that I didn't eat breakfast. But I also didn't want to engage in pretenses or labored exchanges.
I felt Mitsuha's gaze flicker over to me like a momentary beam of light. I trained myself to focus on Matsume. He looked obviously crestfallen, but didn't do push it, to his credit.
"Have fun!" He called after me. I raised an eyebrow as I pushed on the door. What kind of response was that? Only Matsume.
I made a genuine trip to the bathroom. It was a cold, gray, and chic-looking, the sort of space that engulfed you when everything was silent.
The slight hum of the building heightened my feelings of agitation. My reflection stared gravely back at me in the mirror, spitting back a mass of ugly truths written on my face about the distress I was feeling—distress that I didn't want to confront yet. Frustrated, I turned on the faucet and rubbed cold water onto my face.
(Author's Note: Picture added to help visualize the atmosphere...in other words, I found a bathroom picture that looked similar to how I envisioned it.)
"Get yourself together." I muttered, eyes closed and hands still on my face. "You can't be like this. Just go out and do your work."
Easier said than done. I was still reeling from the shock of coincidence that this could even happen. What were the chances that of all architecture companies, of all the people of Itomori, that Mitsuha would pick this one and I happened to be hired here a mere few months ago? Was fate playing a mean joke again?
Probably, actually.
My body involuntarily startled when I heard the door open with a bang. Matsume gave a nod as he saw me, and I pretended to casually air my hands under the hand dryer, like a normal person does so in a restroom. He stopped before using the toilet, twisting back to look at me. "She's really nice, man. Worth talking to, with all her stories and experiences. You can tell that she's a hardworking one. I know I said she was a pretty face, but I'd be glad to work with her. You should consider it too, and or at least don't give me the flimsy excuses that you made earlier Taki. I know you don't eat breakfast."
Another mistake I made, and I winced silently, fighting back my irrational annoyance.
The toilet stall snapped shut and I was left standing there quietly with the hand dryer off. "Look. I just....don't want to, okay? I'm sure you two would work just fine together." My insides suddenly felt extremely taut and I felt the control within me perilously fraying.
I didn't know what to do either in this situation. I hated my own awkwardness.
Matsume paused. "Alrighty." He didn't push it. For a brief second, I felt a twinge of guilt. He didn't know. Matsume didn't ask for my off-handed way of talking just as much as I did not anticipate Mitsuha being a potential work partner.
I'm very good at handling my relationships, it seems.
Running a hand through my hair, I stared at the stall Matsume was occupying. I waited a few seconds before hesitantly offering, "Want to grab some lunch together today? I think they have a deal at Junie's Kitchen down the street or something."
The deal was true. But I had planned on eating takeout, hiding away from the rest of the company as I ate and worked simultaneously over a plate of rice noodles or something. Now that I had Matsume to apologize to—well, the party just expanded to two. Guess I can push off my work a little bit. If only food was the universal solution to life's problems.
"Oh, really? That's great!" My chest sunk a little at the renewed enthusiasm in Matsume's voice. I wasn't all that great of guy as I tried to seem in front of him. "I'll stop by your desk later then?"
I blinked. "Oh yeah. Sure."
"See ya."
"You too."
Really. I wasn't all that great of a guy at all.
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Author's note: Originally, I wanted to publish this chapter and the next together as an apology for the horrendous wait, but I know there are many of you who are near the end of your patience. So here it is. I'm sorry there isn't much genuine plot development here.
Anyways, I finished watching Violet Evergarden today, and it is one of the most exquisite series - both in animation quality and in character development - that I have seen in quite a long time. I highly recommend it, especially if you care for some emotional investment.
Until next time then, my friends. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for reading this and expressing to me the emotions my writing makes you feel.