AFTER
Cordelia Waters
Saturday May 20, 2016
As I lie in bed, the darkness of the room surrounding me, I listen to the rain pouring down outside of my window, praying that I'll fall asleep soon. It's loud and violent, and I can't help but think that the sky is crying with me. I wonder again what I could have possibly done to deserve this. Is this my punishment for being a bad mother? Why does this sort of thing happen? Is there a reason for it all? Is this finally my prayers being answered? All those months of wishing I never had her, wishing she'd just disappear.
Did I do this? Am I truly responsible for my own daughter's disappearance? The mere thought makes me ill.
I hear the door creek open and I turn my head. The light from the hallway illuminates through the opening and I can see Weston's face as he enters the room. He remains quiet and moves slowly as he pulls out the covers and crawls into bed, not saying a word. At least he's not sleeping on the couch.
I lie there, debating what I should say. Finally, I build up the courage. "Weston," I say as I lie flat on my back, staring at the ceiling.
He turns his head and looks at me, not saying a word.
"Are they going to find our baby?" I ask through a hushed whisper.
I hear him take in a deep breath. "I hope so."
I turn to face him. "You know I didn't do this, right? You have to believe me."
"It's been a long day, Cor. Let's just sleep. We'll talk in the morning."
I nod my head and roll over so I'm facing the window again. I pull the blankets up to my chin and wipe away the single tear that falls down my cheek.