Hours had passed by, and Nalini stayed cooped up in her room, playing with the ring on her thumb that managed to soothe her.
She jumped slightly when the door to her room creaked open. The uneven footsteps of her grandpa, due to his limp, padded against the floor. He neared her rigid body.
"Nalini."
His voice was harsh and distant. Nalini tried to stay quiet, to show how mad she was at him, but guilt quickly took over and her shoulders sagged in defeat.
His lips were turned down into a frown as he studied Nalini's face.
"This is all very sudden for you, but Mahesh has been wanting to marry you since he started looking for a wife two years ago."
At the mention of Mahesh and marriage, any speck of happiness or hope vanished and she felt deflated. She averted her gaze away from her grandpa but allowed him to continue, even though she was a pinch close to bawling her eyes out.
"So what I'm saying is, don't do anything that will get him disinterested in you," he demanded. "And with what happened before—I suggest you learn to become a better woman, for Mahesh. Don't repeat what you did again."
Her eyes widened and she sucked in a sharp breath. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. He was supporting Mahesh when it was clearly his fault? Nalini bit her tongue, resisting the urge to say anything that stepped over the line.
If she said anything that angered her grandpa, then he would punish her by making her sleep outside for the night or lock her in the room.
She honestly thought he would lock her out and not give her dinner for what happened with Mahesh, but he didn't, to her luck.
Her grandpa was utterly cruel, but her mother's words always rung in her head whenever she wanted to scream at him.
'He's an old man—he'll say and do things that will anger you but you have to be the better and bigger person and forgive him. That's what God would want.'
And she couldn't agree more with those words, but sometimes, it was just hard to follow.
A clear of the throat caused her to look up. Her grandpa was looking down at her blankly. "You will marry him."
"I want to study," she said, trying to reason for the last time. She wanted him to calm down; though she didn't like it, she would do it. A part of her wanted to get married so she could get away from him, but a part of her didn't want to at all.
A big part of her didn't.
He shook his head, his eyebrows furrowing and his eyes narrowing into a glare that burnt through her.
"You will get married, Nalini. I don't want to hear about your foolish dreams and such."
He spoke as if she was a burden and she could feel her hands tremble. Her future was being decided drastically by her grandpa because he hated her.
She didn't want things to happen like they were.
"Grandpa," she whispered, achingly, her own voice cracking, "I...understand."
I don't understand at all.
"Alright," he said softly in relief. He then chuckled a little, the sound raspy and choked from him, causing her eyes to swivel towards him, shocked.
He barely laughed, especially not in her presence. "If only you were like most modern youths these days and found love–it would have made things easier for me."
Modern youths? Well, Nalini had to agree with her grandpa there. She wasn't like most of the young people nowadays.
She wore traditional clothing and disliked anything that she deemed bad such as drinking, smoking, swearing and even partying. Nalini was always told that she should have lived fifty years ago, a comment she very well agreed with.
Living in the past always seemed to appeal to her. She always felt a little out of place and like she was an odd cookie around everyone, even Esha.
Nalini nodded with a bitter smile on her face. "If only I could marry a prince, we could have all lived together and got the royal nurse to treat you and help you get better," she whispered foolishly to herself.
Her grandpa looked at her as if she had grown two heads, his lips set in a thin, angry line. "It would have made things easier for me because I could have forced your lover to take care of you and that would mean getting rid of you sooner."
The words and the realisation of what he really meant, hit her hard in the gut. Why this was happening to her, she didn't know. With a forlorn sigh, she nodded.
"Alright, then," she mumbled under her breath, a tear slipping down her cheek. Trying to hide the fact that she was crying, she turned her head away and forced out a laugh.
There was no point in crying, she knew that. Then why couldn't she stop? It was a question that rang throughout her head, even as her grandpa ignored her and left the room, shutting the door, the darkness submerging her inside the small room.
A small sigh left her lips. Oh, how much she wanted to run away or tell someone.
How much she wanted to scream at him.
But she had no one but him. She had friends, but they weren't the people she could share really personal things with.
She went to lie back down when her phone dinged, echoing in the silence. She stared at her brightly lit up screen that seemed to glow in the darkness and picked it up, reading the message.
Speaking of friends, it was from Esha–her friend from college.
'I need to tell you something, pls say you'll come meet me at our usual cafe spot!'
Nalini sighed and bit her lip, confused. She didn't feel like doing anything that day, but this was Esha and she needed help.
Letting out a small exasperated sigh, she lazily got up and shuffled towards the door, adjusting the shawl of her black churidar. She didn't have to get permission from her grandfather to go out since he didn't care about what she did. That was the only plus point of his hatred towards her; she could go anywhere and he didn't care.
With determination, she walked out her room and out the front door, trying to ignore the presence of her grandpa sitting in the rocking chair. She hurriedly flagged down an auto to drive her to the cafe Esha and she usually met up at.
Throughout the whole ride there, she couldn't help but wonder what Esha wanted to say and the curiosity of it was scratching her mind annoyingly.
Hopefully, it wasn't bad news; Nalini couldn't cope well with bad news...especially not after the one she just received from her grandfather.
***
"Arjit broke up with me!"
Nalini blinked, completely stupefied at the news. This is what she wanted to say? She had wasted her time, expecting it to be horrible news when in fact, it wasn't that horrible.
"You called me over here...for that?" Nalini asked, shaking her head at the girl sulking in front of her.
Esha nodded, a frown painted on her lips as she glared at a spot on the table. "He's such a stupid prick! He broke up with me after telling me that I'm too 'boring'–how am I boring?!"
Nalini sighed and stared at her weeping friend, suddenly feeling a pang of guilt. She felt sorry for her. She wasn't boring or lacking in anything. Esha was beautiful; fair and petite, so it completely surprised Nalini that Arjit had broken up with her.
"You're not boring, Esha." Nalini reached out from the table to place a hand on hers. "Arjit is silly for breaking up with you. You're the funniest and the most exciting girl I know and I love you for it. He doesn't deserve you," she said, speaking truthfully.
The words that came out of Nalini's mouth were nothing but from the heart. She just hoped Esha believed it just as much as she did.
Esha, luckily, stopped crying and wiped at her cheeks with her small hands. A tiny smile spread across her face and it displayed her straight white teeth.
"W-wow, that was deep," she croaked and then glanced down at her hand with a grin.
"So, you're still wearing the ring I gave you after all these years. I'm so glad!"
She laughed. "You say this all the time like you can't believe it. You know how much I love it."
Sniffling, she rolled her eyes, managing a shaky smile. "I know. I just love hearing you say it. I'm like the bestest friend ever, am I right?"
It was Nalini's turn to roll her eyes this time but she nodded, regardless.
"Yes, you're the 'bestest' friend of all time."
"Of all time, huh? An upgrade—I'm flattered."
After chuckling at their silly banter, Esha suddenly went sombre and quiet again.
"Look, on a more serious note, I'm really sorry Nalini. I called you here and instead of having more chats like this, I was just blabbering about me."
"No, it's alright," she said, not really wanting to talk about her impending marriage to an old man.
"No, shut up. I'm trying to be the better person here." Esha heaved out a huge sigh. "So, spill! What's going on in your life? It's been a while since we've talked."
Nalini was instantly uncomfortable about the change of subject. She definitely didn't want to talk about herself and what was going on.
There was no way she would let anyone bad mouth the one person she had left in her life. She wouldn't mind, of course, but it'd make her feel guilty as soon as she walked back home.
"I—I'm getting married," she finally said, speaking as if she was having trouble explaining a complex maths equation.
Esha's mouth dropped open in shock and her big doe eyes widened further. "What? When?! Who's the guy and how come you've never mentioned him to me before?!"
Nalini refused to look at the curious girl in front of her. "You know I've always wanted an arranged marriage, right?" she began, timidly. Esha nodded and urged her to go on with her hands. "Well, I'm getting an arranged marriage with...Mahesh."
She hoped that Esha didn't hear her properly and would just let it go, but that didn't happen.
"What?!" she screeched. "Mahesh?! The creepy man that waits for you after college? Your grandpa is getting you married to an old, fat man?!" Esha was furious, her cheeks turning red with anger.
Nalini flinched. Her reaction was the same as hers on the inside, making the reality of all this hurt even more.
"He's not...that bad," she tried to convince quietly, not at all believing the words herself.
She couldn't believe she was defending her future husband.
This is so gross.
Esha cringed and face-palmed. "What the hell? Don't tell me you agreed."
A few seconds of silence passed between them and Esha groaned as if in realisation.
"I had to," Nalini rushed out. "My grandpa..." She trailed off. Esha didn't know what her grandpa was like and how rude he was to her and Nalini couldn't tell her. "...My grandpa's ill and this is the only thing he's ever asked of me. He wants to see me get married to someone he knows and trusts."
Esha raised a sceptical eyebrow. "Doesn't he care about your happiness?"
"He knows I've always wanted an arranged marriage, so he thinks I will be happy later on. He really believes Mahesh is a good guy behind all his...rudeness," Nalini explained, somehow managing to conjure up a, hopefully, valid enough lie. To keep herself busy, she blew on her chai and sipped it, waiting for Esha to respond.
"This is such bullshit!" Esha yelled, grabbing the attention of other people.
Nalini fanned her hand up and down to get her to quieten down, but she wasn't paying attention. "I don't get why you have to marry someone that's like twenty years older than you. You deserve way better and you know it!"
Nalini stared at her, tears brimming. "I don't have another choice. He keeps saying he's not going to be here for long and wants to see me happy and married with children," she said, surprised at how coolly she lied.
Esha groaned an annoyed, guttural sound that didn't seem right coming out from her. "Why can't you think about your own happiness? Are you really going to be happy if you marry Mahesh?"
No, of course, not!–was what she wanted to say. But, she didn't and instead, nodded her head softly.
"I'll learn to love him and be happy after our marriage," she whispered, her heart clenching tightly at the thought of it. "This is what my grandpa wants. Besides, I can't say no. I have no choice."
That part was true. Her grandpa had a lot of connections with gangs as he used to be a part of them when he was younger. She knew what he had done to the kids of fellow friends who angered him or betrayed them, let alone what he would do to his own grandkid.
She didn't doubt his threats of hunting her down and killing her for shaming him, at all because she had witnessed him barking out orders from time to time ever since she was young.
The petite girl in front of her covered her face with her hands and let out another frustrated groan.
"Woman, you are ridiculous. The answer is simple; just run away and poof–" she used her hands to imitate an explosion. "–problem solved!"
Never! The suggestion caused Nalini to narrow her eyes and shake her head furiously.
"I can't run away!" she whisper-yelled, leaning closer.
Running away was definitely not an option she would go through with. She would be dead if she did.
Literally.
Maybe if she had a rural house with a quiet grandpa that no one knew about she could have ran away but she didn't. Esha crossed her arms and looked at Nalini in disapproval.
"You know what, I don't see why you can't just look after your grandpa even without being married."
Because he wants to get rid of me.
Nalini sighed but didn't bother explaining.
After a few seconds of silence in which they both quietly sipped their coffees, Esha suddenly broke it.
"So, when are you going to get married?" she asked, sorrowfully.
"I don't know," Nalini whispered in the same tone, fumbling with the ring of her empty cup. "Nothing's been finalised yet."
Esha blew out an exaggerated breath and the fake smile she had on, slipped. "Thank the Lord! That means you can still get out of it," she said with a mischievous smile.
Nalini shot her a disbelieving look and shook her head. She had tried to think of many ways to get out of the marriage, but there were virtually none. Even if she decided to confide in Esha, that would mean burdening her and her family, and she couldn't do that.
Esha's dad was already going through a lot, since he had been fired two months ago and was looking after five children, including her. There was no way Nalini could ask him to take care of her too.
With a sigh, she took a hold of Esha's wrist and twisted it to look at the watch. Upon seeing the time, her eyes widened and she shot up from the chair.
"Oh gosh, I have to go," she said frantically, putting down her half of the bill down on the table. "I'll talk to you later."
Just as she took a step forward, she heard Esha say something from behind her, her tone filled with nothing but disappointment.
"You really do deserve better, Nalini."
Those words were enough to break her heart. She knew she deserved better, too, but it would never happen.
That wasn't her reality.