→ CHAPTER FOUR; THE CLINIC.
Hannah yawned noisily as she looked out of the window, taking in the view of Small Heath from the flat that she was currently in. It was late at night; the outside world was silent and lit due to the street lights. Inside of the flat was dim and full of yells as the first-time mum to be on the bed struggled to deliver the baby that had been growing inside of her for nine months. Moisture was building up around her forehead and cheeks, her face had turned a dark crimson and her knuckles were white due to the harsh grip she had on the bed sheets.
"Mrs. Connor, I need you to push as hard as you can, okay? Take deep breathes and it'll all come to you." Hannah's voice was raised high, so Mrs. Connor could hear her voice over the screams that were coming out of her mouth, as she held the poor woman's legs up high with her feet pressed against Hannah's chest, giving her the perfect view of the baby's head that had been born only moments before. "Not long now, love. I think that with one big last push, this baby will be out in no time."
"I can't do it," she bellowed, as she gripped the bed sheets in her hands.
"Yeah, they all say that, but they manage to do it. Just push for me, Mr. Connor and this baby will be out, I promise you."
It was gone three in the morning and Hannah could feel her eyelids slowly dipping as she clung onto the skin of Mrs. Connor. The poor woman had been in labour for over ten hours and the experience was becoming tiring and challenging for all involved in the act. The poor father had entered the room multiple times, only to go rushing back out when he saw the scene in front of him. Tea cups were distributed across the room, damp towels and hot water were sat waiting for when the little one decided to stop being so persistent.
"Come on," Hannah whispered as she gave Mrs. Connor a easy smile. "One big push and all of this will be over and done with. Forget about the agony and focus on your baby that will be here very, very soon if you listen to me." Mrs. Connor nodded and with one brash scream and an enormous push, the sound of a child crying and screaming boomed throughout the small one-bedroom flat and both the mother and Hannah let out of a sigh of relief. "A daughter, you have a gorgeous daughter."
Hannah quickly cut the cord and covered the baby into a soft towel to keep the her warm.
"I'm going to call her Louise. My husband said that if the baby was a boy, he would decide the name and if she was a girl, I would decide. So, she's being called Louise."
Hannah chuckled before gently passing the baby over to Mrs. Connor before she passed out from fatigue. Taking a deep breath, Hannah sat back on the bed and watched at Mrs. Connor grinned down at her baby. Even though the job was demanding, the prize was always satisfying.
"Are you going to have kids, Nurse Anderson?" Mrs. Connor questioned, still looking down at her baby but occasionally looking at Hannah who was watching the pair with admiration. She had nothing but respect for the mothers who dealt with the pain so well, no matter how gruelling it was.
"I have nobody to have children with but maybe, in the future. Right now, I am focused on delivering the babies of Small Heath."
"Well, someone needs to. Seems like everyone round here is getting pregnant at the moment."
Hannah chuckled before pulling up the blanket covering Mrs. Connors bottom half. "Right, let's go and introduce Louise to her father and then we can get this afterbirth out."
+++
Esme and Michael stared at each other from across the room for a solid few minutes before Esme gave up with the staring match and made her way over to Michael. He moved around in his seat before looking at Esme with begging eyes. Michael knew that it was clinic day and Esme had momentarily mentioned going so she could talk to Hannah. After an hour of trying to figure out how he could go unnoticed, Michael came to the conclusion that he had no choice but to ask Esme if he could come along with her.
"What do you want, Michael?" Esme asked as she sat on the desk at the side of him before folding her arms across her torso. "You've been staring at me for a long time and if anyone was to notice it, they would think that something is going on."
"There is something going on, just not with you. Just listen, if I tell you something then you must promise to not say anything to anybody. I don't want me mum knowing or John because if they knew then I would be ripped to pieces and I don't want to deal with their stupid jokes."
"Our little secret? I don't like secrets very much, Michael." Esme upstretched one eyebrow and considered what Michael had said for a few moments before nodding. "But, yes, I promise, as long as I don't get into trouble. Hurry up about it however because I need to go to the community centre in a minute. This little one has done some right kicking about in the last few days and I fear that labour is going to come early yet again."
"I know, and I need to come with you. Don't question it, just give me a straight answer because I can't be dealing with a million and one questions. Just a simple yes or no will do." Michael was feeling tremendously bad-tempered. He hadn't seen Hannah in over a week and worried that she had found out the truth about what he did for a living. Occasionally, he forgot that being a midwife was a challenging occupation and he felt selfish for wanting Hannah all to himself. However, he had a question to ask her and he couldn't spend another night thinking about it and freaking out.
Esme pulled a face before sliding off the desk. "And why would you want to come to clinic? Let me guess..." Esme trailed off and raised a finger to cheek before letting her mouth twist into a smirk. "It's something to do with Nurse Anderson. Don't think me and your mother didn't catch you smiling when her name was brought up over dinner the other day. You need to hide your feelings a bit better."
"What happened to not asking any questions but for your information, there are no feelings," he defended. "I'm just interested in midwifery and children." Esme wasn't stupid and could see right through Michael's dreadful effort at being dishonest.
"Have you got some random lass accidentally pregnant? If you have, then you best do something about it like putting a ring on her finger or at least tell your ma and not me."
"No, I haven't. Why do you always think the worst of me, Esme? You wouldn't ask Finn that question."
"Finn wouldn't be that stupid. This is all to do with Nurse Anderson, I am not a fool and stop being so mardy, it was only a question." Esme sighed before nibbling her bottom lip as if she was deep in thought. Michael looked at her with pleading eyes, mutely asking her for consent to come but also to not say anything to John or his mother. "Fine. We leave in five minutes. If anybody asks, your just there to help me because John is away on business. I don't want you causing a scene or making poor Nurse Anderson uncomfortable. God knows what the sisters would think if they knew that you and she were involved with each other."
Michael nodded. "We aren't involved with each other, not yet at least. She's just a friend."
"Well, don't go breaking her heart. She is the only midwife who has sincerely shown an interest in me and I can't lose her. What are you planning on saying to her?"
Michael leaned back before sighing. "I don't know," he fibbed, not wanting to declare the truth to Esme. Michael was already aware that his 'relationship' with Hannah would make it back to John one way or another. Esme was good when it came to guidance and helping people out, but she couldn't keep a secret, especially not from John. The two of them told each other everything and all Michael could do was hope and pray that John would keep his mouth closed and not tell Polly. If his mother was to find out, then it would only lead to him being sat down at the dinner table and interrogated about Hannah.
"Bullshit." Esme rolled her eyes before leaving Michael alone to quickly collect his things.
+++
It was very rare that Michael felt anxious when it came to girls but none of the girls that he had dated in the past had affected him like Hannah had. On the way to the community centre, he had strolled behind Esme, pointlessly smoking on cigarettes to calm his nerves, and tried to think of the different ways he would approach her but when he finally stepped foot inside of the old-fashioned room that smelt of children and sick, all his previous thoughts went out of the window.
Fortunately, no one took notice of Esme and Michael as they stepped inside of the room, all the of the mothers were too engrossed on their own children or the midwives that were there to support them. It took Michael a while to spot Hannah but when he did, a wide smile came onto his face. Esme shook her head at the loved-up boy before propelling him in Hannah's direction.
"I'll make sure that none of the nuns or other midwives see the two of you and if they do, I'll make up some excuse. I'm better at lying than you."
Michael quickly thanked Esme before making his way over to Hannah who was stood in the corner of the room with a clipboard. She looked up at the ceiling and let out a deep breath as she tried to calm herself down. Sister Maria had just told her that a hospital down in London were looking for nurses to look after one of the wards for a few weeks and Hannah had been nominated to go down if worse came to worse. It was all because of Michael. Hannah knew that and so did Sister Maria, but she couldn't make any remarks towards the older nun.
"Hannah." Michael's voice came out lenient and quiet and when Hannah didn't reply, he thought that she had not heard her name being called. Hannah, however, had heard everything and was stuck frozen in place. Her eyes quickly scanned the room and she thanked the lord that all the nuns were busy with other children.
"What on earth are you doing here?" Hannah hissed as she grabbed Michael by the forearm and dragged him towards a vacant cubicle. Michael looked startled and glanced back at Esme, but she was too focused on talking to another one of the mums. "If the nuns see you here then who knows what will happen to me. I'm already being quizzed every dinner time about where I've been and who I've been talking to. I'm not trusted to do anything anymore."
"Why?" Michael scrunched up his face before removing Hannah's hand from his arm.
"The morning after we met, I asked them over breakfast if any of them knew who you were. It was the worst bloody mistake of my life. No one is looking at me properly, I keep getting interrogated and to have you here will be bloody wonderful, won't it?" Hannah exhaled before rubbing a gloved hand over her face. It was extremely inappropriate, but Michael couldn't take her eyes off her and kept focusing on how pretty she looked in the nurse's uniform. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped at you. Still, why are you here?"
"Why does it matter that you mentioned me?" Michael already knew the answer to his own question. The nuns would never be supportive of one of their employees being seen with Michael, just like Esme had said. It was only going to be a matter of time before Michael's true self got exposed to Hannah and she would see what he was associated with - the business, his family, the beatings, the killings.
"I don't know," she said with a confused tone. Her voice was a lot softer as she looked down at the ground and began to play with the end of her pinafore. "You're quite the mystery, Michael."
Michael chortled at the remark before looking down at Hannah who had perched herself on top of the bed. "Don't listen to what they say. It's none of their fucking business."
"Sister Maria told me that she delivered you and your sister, that's the only information I got about you." Hannah paused and crumpled her eyebrows when she realised how outlandish that sounded as it came out of her mouth. "I'm not stalking you or anything. I was just inquisitive because I'd always been told that the men around Small Heath were peculiar. That came from Alexandra though, so I shouldn't have paid attention to what she was saying to me."
Michael raised his hands before chuckling. "No, it's fine. If you want me to be perfectly frank with you Hannah, I only came here so I could see you. I wanted to ask you out for dinner." Michael placed his hands in his coat pocket before looking around the small cubicle awkwardly. There was nowhere to run and if Hannah rejected his proposal, he would have no choice but to face the humiliation in front of her. "Whenever you are free, of course. I'm sure you don't have a timetable because babies come whenever they want." Michael gulped before turning away out of embarrassment. "I sound like a fucking idiot."
"No, not at all. Michael, I do have days off. My next one is on Friday, so we can go out for dinner then but that's only if you are free."
"Yeah, I'm free." Michael pointed towards the curtain. "I best be going back now. I don't want you to get into trouble and Esme will be waiting for me."
"I didn't know that you and Esme were related. Is this the woman you were on about when we first met?" Michael tried to recall what comment he made but that whole night had been a blur to him and he couldn't remember much. "You said that you have a relative who likes to get pregnant once a year."
Michael chuckled before nodding. "Yeah, that's Esme and John. Esme likes you a lot, spoke about you over dinner and everything so I'm guessing we will be seeing a lot of each other, even if the nuns and other midwives don't like it."
Hannah ignored his comment for a moment as she stood up and walked over to the opening of the curtain and shouted for Esme. "They can think what they want if I'm being honest. You've done nothing bad towards me, so I cannot judge you for past blunders."
"Will you judge me though?" Michael asked.
Hannah turned to look at him before shrugging her shoulders. "Like I said, you've done nothing to hurt or upset me. There's obviously more to you than I know but until I find out what it is, I'm not going to ignore you."
"Hannah, I've done bad things – " Michael was ready to tell Hannah the truth which would give her the chance to get out of the situation before she found herself in too deep but the rambling, and extremely nervous, midwife cut Michael off before he could continue with his confession.
"A few bar fights doesn't put me off. I got involved in a bar fight once but in my defence, the other woman started it first." Hannah laughed at the memory before grabbing some of Esme's notes. "Think of me as your personal nurse, Michael."
"It's not just a few bar fights though. There's – "
Before Michael could confess to the whole thing, Esme swayed open the curtain and smiled widely at Hannah. The two of them began to talk about the baby, all while Michael remained in the corner, uncertain of what to do. There was something special about Hannah and he admired her, but he did not want her to be dragged into the business and his way of living. The poor girl was unconscious to what Michael really did and a part of him felt guilty for that.
"Esme, I have some really good news," Hannah broadcasted as she smoothed out the blanket on the bed. Esme scowled at Michael for a few moments before he got the hint and left the cubicle, leaving the two girls alone. He feared what Esme was going to say as he knew what she was like. As he left, Hannah gave him a soft smile.
"I'll pick you up from the convent at seven," he said, overlooking the smile that was growing on Esme's face. "And I'll wait for you outside, Esme."
"What's this good news?" Esme asked as she hiked her dress up. "Is it something to do with you and our Michael?"
Hannah acknowledged the last question with a roll of the eyes but answered the first one with eagerness. "Sister Margaret has given me permission to be your midwife when you go into labour. So, when things start moving along, send John down to the local phone box and tell him to ask for me."
"Should I make sure that Michael is lingering about as well?" Esme asked in a teasing tone.
"No, I don't think that's needed." Hannah tried to act like she was playing along but her bright red cheeks gave everything away. Esme only sighed softly before laying further back on the bed. "Let's see what baby is up to then."
+++
Isaiah was sat across from Michael, a cigarette in one hand and a glass of whiskey in the other. After spending the last week spent in the company of Michael and his unpredictable mood swings, he had finally managed to get Michael on his own, so he could question him. Finn had tried only a few days before to find out what was wrong with his cousin, but Michael had immediately shut him down and used the awful excuse that he was just exhausted.
"Who is she?" Isaiah asked, gently kicking Michael underneath the table so he could get his attention.
Michael looked over at Isaiah with fake confusion on his face. "What are you on about?"
"Don't try and kid me, Michael. There's some girl in your life and you can't stop thinking about her. Are you having some girl trouble?"
"There is no – "
"You're lying."
"No, I'm not."
"I'm supposed to be your best friend."
"She's a midwife, alright?" Michael was through with Isaiah and Finn's endless questions. The chat that him and Hannah had shared earlier on in the afternoon made Michael feel slightly better about telling his friends the truth, but he still couldn't get the little things out of his mind.
"And you like her?"
"No, I fucking hate her," he answered sarcastically. "Isaiah, why wouldn't I like her? She's interesting, funny and we get along, but she knows nothing about me. Hannah thinks that I get involved with bar fights and that's it. She knows nothing about the business and what we do. It's only going to be a matter of time before someone tells her the truth and that means that everything will be fucked up. She's a respectable girl with a good job and she won't want to mess that up for somebody like me."
"You don't know that. She might think it's attractive that you are some bad boy." Isaiah wiggled his eyebrows but stopped when Michael threw a pencil in his direction.
"I do, Isaiah." Michael narrowed his eyes as his friends attempt at being amusing.
"Just tell her the truth then before somebody else does. You know what people like here are round, they gossip and say shit. If you tell her the complete and honest truth than she will probably respect you and forget about everything. If it comes from somebody else, then..." Isaiah trailed off and clicked his tongue for the effect. "She'll probably hate you."
"You aren't helping at all. I tried to tell her today, I was ready to admit to everything but then Esme interrupted, and I didn't know what to say so I just left. We are meant to be going out for dinner on Friday, but I don't want to waste her time."
"Just don't say anything then. It's not as if you've done anything bad, is it? Arthur, John and Tommy deal with the murders and the illegal side of the business. Right now, the business is on its way to becoming fully legal so maybe just leave it for a slight while. If someone says something, then just defend yourself." Isaiah groaned before throwing a cigarette towards Michael who looked like he desperately needed one. "Look, I don't know. I haven't been in this situation before. If I was you then I wouldn't say anything but that's me. Your just probably worrying about nothing."
Michael sighed, not at all satisfied with his friends attempt at advice. "Just got to see what happens on Friday, I guess."
authors note; i hate this chapter more than i hate luca changretta. please vote and leave feedback. thank you.