Author's Note:
Wow. last night I just starting writing and writing. haha. I've been working on Our of the shadows. its almost done.
I think the song on the right is perfect for this chapter. Check it out!
I hope you like this chapter. I'm making them almost double the length then before.
Don't forget to vote/comment.
Enjoy!
-the velvet rose-
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Recap:
"If you need anything. I left my number on the counter. I'll see you tonight okay?" He left.
The pain came back and I went into my bedroom and just sobbed for half an hour. Then wiped away the tears and went back to get Cassie.
I can do this. I need to be strong for her. But it feels impossible.
I will see them again. I will. Just wait a year..
...................................................................................................................................
"You look beautiful dear!" Judy shouted.
I wore my yellow knee length sun dress with brown and white flowers all over it. It was strapless and had a short little yellow short sleeved jacket.
I curled my hair and put on some makeup.
"Cassie and I will have a great time! We will watch movies! And eat ice cream!" She shouted.
"Good. Um.. Call me if you need anything. I got a new cell phone and I left the number in her bag" I told her.
"Good, good. You have my number if you want to check on her! Have a great time!"
"Thanks" I muttered.
I wasn't looking forward to this.. Date. At all. I dreaded it so much. I went to my house and put on the final touches. Perfume and such.
Then I heard a light knocking on the front door.
"Hello" I greeted.
"You look.. Pretty" He smiled.
He wore black pants with a grey shirt and black tie. I locked the door behind me and we got into his truck.
"I'm taking you somewhere outside of town. It will be better, trust me. No gossip and such" He told me.
"I see" I laughed.
Then I stared out the window till we got there. He was a gentleman, opening the door for me and everything.
We walked to this little café looking place. With candles and white table cloths.
"Hynes. Anthony Hynes" He told the server.
He took us to a table in the back. I sat down nervous and upset with myself. Why did I have to say yes?
"What would you like to drink?" The waiter asked.
"Coke" I told him.
"How about red wine?" Anthony asked.
The waiter left. I almost laughed when I realized that I'm actually not old enough for wine.
When the waiter came back, I sipped the wine and realized I wasn't missing anything. It tastes awful to me.
Then I sipped my coke and smiled.
"What would you like to eat?" The waiter asked. Getting out his notepad.
"Um.. Your lemon chicken with pasta" I told him.
"I'll take the same" Anthony said.
The man left and I looked down at my fingers.
"Tell me about yourself Julia" Anthony told me.
"Um.. Well I'm not that interesting.." I lied. "I got married when I was 20. I had Cassie at 22. And divorced soon after. Um...... I used to live in New Jersey.. I moved here for a new start and all" All lies.
"When is your birthday?"
Uh oh. I forgot what I lied on my birthday. I grabbed my purse and secretly looked at my drivers license under the table.
"Julia. When is your birthday?" He asked again.
"Oh. Its.. January 9th" I lied. Why did I make that my birthday.
"Mine is January 8th" He seemed excited.
"Wow. What are the odds?"
"I know. I'll be 26"
"I'll be 25.. What is today's date?" I asked suddenly.
"October 23rd" He told me.
Wow. October 23rd.. My birthday. My actually birthday. Happy birthday Samantha Peters.. I'm still too young to drink.
I sipped the awful wine and winced internally.
"Tell me about you" I told him.
"Well.. I used to live in New York. But got sick of the city. So I moved closer to my sister.. She lives an hour from here. I ran across this town by accident. It was perfect for me. Then I met Judy.." He chuckled.
"She is very.. Welcoming"
"Is that the word? She told everybody in town about me and that I was 'single'"
I smiled and nodded most of the time. And answered almost all of his questions. He talked most of the time to my relief.
He picked up the tab and we headed to my house. And stood on the front porch.
"I had a great time" He told me.
"Me too" I wasn't exactly lying. I did have a somewhat fine time.
He bent to kiss me. But something freakish happened. He looked exactly like Jack for a few seconds. I gasped and nearly leaped backwards.
"I'm sorry. Am I going to fast? I was only going to give you a peck on the cheek I swear" He worried.
"No. its fine. I just got something in my eye"
"Oh okay.. I hope to see you tomorrow"
"Goodnight"
"Goodnight"
He left and I headed over to Judy's to get Cassie.
I knocked on the door and Judy came.
"How was your date dear? Oh Anthony is such a gentleman! Was he nice to you?!" She asked.
"It was nice. He is a gentleman. He was nice to me" I answered all of her questions.
"Cassie is asleep. You got back late so she fell asleep on the couch"
It was only 10pm. Its not like 1am or anything. I sighed and lifted her up. Her lips were slightly parted and her hair was in her face. I kissed her on the forehead and we left after I said thank you to Judy.
When I got to our house. I put Cassie in her bed and locked all the doors and windows. Then I went into my bathroom.
I looked into my mirror and saw my eyes. Blue. Blue. And more blue. I leaned against the door and slumped to the ground sobbing.
Will my life always be like this? Lies. Lies. And more lies? I hate it so much.
"I'm Samantha Peters. I'm Samantha Peters" I repeated during sobbing. "I am not the lying Julia Mounds. I am the Samantha Peters that is wanted by everyone"
I cried for hours till I was dried out. Then I went into the kitchen and pour a glass of water so I wouldn't be so dried out.
I saw the clock. 5:47am. I brewed some coffee and sat on the couch and stared at the wall till it was done.
Then I watched TV for a long time and then heard Cassie's door open.
"Mommy?" She called.
"In here sweetie" I croaked.
She came in and seemed worried. My little almost 2 year old girl worried? I frowned and hugged her.
"I miss daddy" She whispered.
"Me too"
"And Uncle Jack"
"Me too"
(A week later)
The whole town seemed to know me too well. They knew everything I've ever said pretty much.
Anthony has called me three times a day. Seeing how I was doing and asking for more dates. I've gone out with him twice in one week. Judy said he's glued to me.
I haven't kissed him. Nor do I want to. that's all I need is another guy in my life.
My phone rang and I went to it.
"Hello?"
"Julia! Its Judy! How would you like to come with us to church? Its in an hour!" She was shouting.
"Um.. Yeah. Let me get Cassie dressed"
"Oh good! I'll see you outside your door in 45 minutes okay?"
"Okay. Bye!"
"Cassie get your best clothes out. We're going to church!" I called.
We entered the church with Judy, Grace, Gina, Harold, Joe and Mike. I sat down and felt guilt. I've been through so much. So much.
After service. I started feeling emotions.
"Cassie. Go with Grace and Judy. I'm going to look around here okay?" I told her. She nodded and left with them.
I knelt down on the floor in the front row and started crying. So many tears shed lately.
"Help me. I-I don't know what to do anymore. Have I made a mistake? I need you. Please help me!" I prayed. Sobbing.
A light from the window shinned on the stage. I sniffled and walked over to it.
"Guide me" I whispered.
Then I walked out of the church and put on my sun hat and sunglasses.
(2 Weeks later..)
I sat on my porch. Staring at the sky. Wondering if they are looking at the sky too?
Zack. I'm doing this for Cassie. I miss you.
Then Anthony's truck pulled in my driveway. I looked at him as he walked to my porch.
"Good morning" He greeted. Then sat next to me.
"Good morning"
"Um.. Would you like to go on a date with me tonight?"
"Sure" I whispered emotionless.
"Are you okay? You look tired"
"I haven't been sleeping well lately" I muttered. I slept two hours last night.
"You should try to take a nap"
"Yeah"
"Pick you up at 7pm"
I nodded and went inside while he drove off. My phone rang and I leaped over to answer it.
"Hello Julia Mounds. We are calling about your request for a job at the movie store" The woman said.
"Yes?"
"You got accepted. You start work on Monday afternoon"
"Thank you"
The phone died and I went to get Cassie. We needed to find her somewhere to go while I'm at work.
I heard about a preschool near by. Cassie is potty trained. She can go there.
We got to the school and I went to the office.
"May I help you?" The woman asked.
"I would like to sign her up for preschool"
"How old is she?"
"Almost two"
"When will she be two?"
"Next Saturday" I smiled down at Cassie.
"Sign here and here. Then just bring her on Monday"
"Thanks"
We walked out of there and I smiled. Then frowned. Zack or Jack wont see her on her birthday.
Its my fault too.
"What do you want to do on your birthday? it's a week from today"
"I want chocolate cake" She smiled.
"Okay. Maybe you will make some friends at school? Bring them?"
"Maybe"
(Later that night)
I put on some black dress pants and a v neck red sleeveless shirt. Then I clipped my hair up and went outside. Grace came over to watch after Cassie.
Anthony parked his truck and came to the door.
"Ready?" He asked me.
I nodded.
We drove to town to the movies. He bought a big bucket of popcorn and two large sodas.
Then we watched a chick flick.
There was a scene I had to close my eyes. This girl and her boyfriend were camping and sitting by a fire. Then he leaned over and kissed her.
I started eating the popcorn. A lot of it. Weird right?
After the movie. Anthony took me around the town. We walked most of the way.
"Julia.. Um.. This is going to sound super cheesy. But.. Will you be my girlfriend?" He asked.
I just stared at him for a minute. My heart felt dead. What should I say?
"Julia?" He snapped me out of my trance.
"Yes?"
"You will be my girlfriend?"
"Yes?"
He smiled. Then we walked hand in hand towards his truck.
(Saturday. Cassie's Birthday)
I woke up early Saturday and fixed Cassie a big breakfast. Bacon, eggs, and French toast.
Judy, Grace, Gina and Erika. (Erika is the mom of two girls Cassie met at preschool)
They were all coming over at 4pm for the party.
Anthony was coming over too.
Cassie and her new friends. Rebecca and Annie, Erika's daughters. And Ruby.
I had the evening sort of planned.
They get to watch a princess movie. Then play dress up as a princess. Then cake and ice cream, then gifts.
It was 4pm when they all came at once. I popped in the movie and they all sat on the couch.
I got my new video camera out and camera. Recording and snapping photos.
"I cant believe how much she has grown" I muttered sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee with the adults.
"I know. They grow up so fast" Erika said.
"So when will Anthony get here?" Judy asked.
"At 6pm. He gets off work then" I murmured.
"He seems pretty stuck on you. I think he's falling in love.." Grace said.
Oh gosh I hope not. I thought to myself.
"How do you feel about him?" Judy asked.
"Mom. that's too personal!" Grace scolded.
"Well Grace. I was just wondering.."
"Its fine. I'm not sure how I feel about him.." I told them.
"Still love the ex-husband?" Judy asked.
"Yes. I still love my ex so much"
We sipped coffee and talked until the movie was over. Then I got up and got the dress up stuff set up in Cassie's room.
They all dressed in puffy sparkly dresses and tiaras. I snapped pictures like crazy. Then Anthony came in.
"Wow. You guys like beautiful!" He complimented. Cassie curtsied.
He handed me a red wrapped gift and I sat it on the table with the rest of them.
"Cassie. Its time for cake and ice cream!" I shouted.
They all ran in with their dresses on. I cut the cake made by Grace.
"This is what I miss. Having birthday parties for my kids. Wait until they go to college. Its tough!" Grace said.
Her daughter and two boys are all at college right now. Her oldest is graduating college this year.
Everyone went home after a great party. Anthony and I cleaned up till 11pm. Who knew little girls could make such a big mess?
We stepped outside after cleaning.
"Well I better go" He said.
"Goodnight" I told him.
He kissed me on the lips. I held back the wince. Then he leaned back and kissed me on the forehead.
"Goodnight Julia"
I went inside and laid on the couch watching a old western movie. Again. Hardly any sleep that night too..