I dragged my feet as I followed the stagehand through the hallways toward the entrance to the arena, hands clutched and eyes downcast. It felt as if with every step I took closer to the shining light at the end of the tunnel that the anger swelling inside my chest grew. I scolded myself for being so mad, for I had no real reason to be. Everything that has happened today was entirely my fault, I deserved it — but that fact alone wasn't enough to persuade my anger to die down.
This feeling added to Dream Walker's taunts and pleads for control didn't help my situation much either, and by the time I had made it to the entrance of the arena doorway, I had blood pooling in my nails from how hard I was clutching my fists. I could hear Present Mic's creative intro, and taking a deep breath, slowly walked out for the crowd to see me as my name echoed throughout the stadium.
People cheered and spouted false praise on me, and it just made me feel worse.
If they knew what was really going on inside my head, they would rightfully call me a monster — and I wouldn't blame them.
"Facing off with Class A's famous snowflake is another Class A student, and one known for his explosive personality," Present Mic boomed over the loudspeaker as I rooted myself on the left end of the stage. "Bakugou Katsuki!"
At his name, the blond came trudging up the stone steps to face off with me, hands shoved deep within his pockets and a scowl playing across his face. The reality of having to fight him had only just then sunken in, and I suddenly felt my stomach drop to the ground beneath me.
I recalled Midoriya saying that Bakugou would be an easy foe to defeat with the help of my Frost quirk's ability to control the weather, but I didn't know how well I'd be able to concentrate with not only Dream Walker squawking in my ear, but also having to focus on avoiding Bakugou's explosions. If this was a normal circumstance, using Frost entirely would be an easy task, but with the bubble of rage that could pop any moment and how hazy everything seemed, I didn't know how well I'd be able to finish this fight.
I didn't know if I'd be able to win.
The seconds separating this fight to start felt as if they were crawling on forever, and as I stood there, my eyes traveled up to class 1-A's bleachers. I picked off the bandaged face of my sister with Karafuru sitting right next to her, both of which wielding expressions of encouragement as they both simultaneously nodded at me. I let out a brief exhale, and in doing so turned to the portion of the bleachers where the Pro Heroes sat, and in turn locked gazes with Aunt Hiroe. Her smile lifted my heavy heart somewhat, and when the ends of her lips perked up, she rose a fist halfway in the air as she too nodded encouragingly.
They aided my troubled mind barely, and I forced myself to look back to my opponent as time suddenly sped back up again. The cheer of the crowd was deafening, and the look Bakugou held was almost suffocating. He was still scowling, but there was a look in his eye that I couldn't quite place. Maybe it was discomfort, or a glint of relief at the fact that he was now finally able to 'blow me up' like he said he would when we informally met on our first day at U.A. Either way, I wasn't going to enjoy this fight, not when it was against someone I had grown to care about, nor with how my underlying situation was deciding to play out.
"Is everybody ready?!" Present Mic blared excitedly, prompting me to hold my breath. "I shouldn't bother asking! Let's get this show on the road, start!"
Bakugou and I shared a brief glance with each other before the two of us decided to charge forward. His palms were held straight and glowed with the ember of his dwelling explosions, and I ran blindly, without a solid strategy on how I was going to get through this.
I went with dodging his fist attempt by using ice to glide behind him. He was quick to pivot and meet my frost bitten hand with his own, warm one, and he didn't hesitate to let his explosion go off against my palm. I hissed in pain and doubled back a bit to put distance between us before shaking it off and bolting straight for him again.
I rose my damage-free hand and brought it down quickly, prompting a large gust of wind and frost to drizzle across the arena. Bakugou cursed under his breath and the light in his palms dimmed considerably, and I took the chance of his less dangerous attacks to aim an attack at his head.
He dodged (though I expected that), and yelled over his shoulder. "Get your head in the game, Osoroshi!"
My eyes widened, but before I could reply, the feeling of his explosive heat on the back of my neck made my words catch in my throat. I stumbled forward a few steps and steadied myself with my hands held out to either of my sides. My heart was beating erratically at the realization that a burning sensation was still cascading down my back, and when I turned over my shoulder, the sight of the lower portion of my hair being encased in weak flames made my blood run cold.
"How dare he," Dream Walker growled in my ear. "How dare he."
I clenched my teeth and stiffened my back, allowing myself to be cloaked in shadows. I felt the detachment of my charred hair as it fell in heaps on the ground, and I couldn't help the gurgle-y growl that penetrated its way out of my throat as I turned around to face him.
That was it. That was it.
"Good girl," I heard Dream Walker say gently. "Let me take care of this for you."
I gasped messily, and before I could register what was going on, I was face to face with mother with her hands clutching my shoulders.
"Get yourself together, Osoroshi!" She yelled frantically, barely giving me enough time to realize that I was inside my dreamworld.
"M-mom?" I managed breathlessly, latching onto her wrists. "What's —"
"He's not here!" She cut me off. "You've lost control! You need to get your shit together, Osoroshi. Do you want him to die?"
"Wait slow down," I replied, blinking as I took two steps back. "What's going on?"
"Osoroshi," Mother's face contorted worriedly. "Focus. You've lost control. Dream Walker is out there controlling your body."
My eyes widened, but she gave me no time to reply.
"He's not in here right now," she said more to herself rather than me. "I can explain everything..."
"Mom? I don't really have time —"
"It'll only take a moment if you listen carefully," she told me quickly. "Dream Walker isn't a virus or a parasite like I said he was."
"Then what is he?"
"He's a person, Osoroshi," she continued. "A person that lost his way a very long time ago, when quirks first began."
"Wh—"
"His distinct goal is to collect enough energy to retain his original form, the form he took before he died," she continued, again cutting me off. "He's only able to do that if he gains your control, which he has now. He was only able to overpower you now because you overused Dream Walker, or him, when you fought against Hattori. You must fight back before he kills your friend!"
"I-I don't know how," I stuttered, terrified. "I don't understand what any of this means, I —"
"Osoroshi," Mom shook me by the shoulders. "This is all I can tell you for sure, the rest you'll find out with time, but that's only if you gain back your rightful place in your body. Don't let him win, you can't. You can't make the same mistakes I did. Oh, God, Osoroshi I'm so sorry."
I blinked profusely as Mom yanked me into another one of her emotion stirring hugs.
"This isn't the life I wanted for you," she whispered shakily before pulling me away by the shoulders again. "Focus, connect with your subconscious again and gain back your control."
"But what about you?" I asked suddenly. "Won't he know that you —"
"Don't worry about me, sweet girl," Mother smiled sadly, brushing a strand of silver hair out of my face. "Go save the living, go save your friend."
I bit down hard on my lip, and despite the urgency I felt to get back outside, I hugged her again.
"I know you're gone," I said, tightening my grip around her as she set her hands gently on my back. "But... despite everything, I don't like the idea of him hurting you."
Mother breathed in sharply. "And I can't stand the idea of him using you to hurt other people like he did me. You need to go."
"I know," I nodded and pulled away. "I... I love you, Mom."
Mother's eyes widened and shimmered with what I assumed to be tears before smiling bitterly. "And I love you — please, be careful."
I returned the look with a determined nodded before turning my back to her. I didn't have a very solid idea on how to gain back control, but I closed my eyes and focused on Dream Walker's dark energy anyway. It was faint, but the harder I focused, the more I could feel my own body moving in sync with Dream Walker's commands, the more I could hear the roar of the audience, and the more I could feel this dark quirk's familiar heat.
A flash of white erupted behind my closed eyelids, and when it did, the sketchy, dark figure of a man was prominent against the cold backdrop.
His red hues flashed, and as they did, my sight was granted back to me.
I blinked, and when my vision cleared, the sight of me holding Bakugou down against the cement by the neck made my whole body tense. My free first was risen in the air, and as I sat there, straddled over Bakugou's body, my eyes flicked across the many gashes decorating his once wound free figure.
"K-Katsuki..." I breathed out, hurriedly unlatching my hand from around his throat as I straightened myself out.
He coughed violently as I scurried my way to my feet, shaking uncontrollably as I looked down to the palms of my hands. My skin was only then fading from grey and back to my original, pale complexion, and the tips of my fingers were stained with Bakugou's blood.
I looked back to him, seeing the confusion laced in his crimson hues as he scrambled to his feet with one of his arms dangling at his side.
"O-oh.. God.." I wavered, whipping my head around to the still cheering crowd.
To them, this was still a normal fight.
I looked back to Bakugou, not surprised that he was still standing there with that look of pure fear dancing in his eyes, though it was masked by his default glare and low growl.
Without giving it a second thought, I shoved my fist in the air. "I forfeit!"
I didn't give Midnight or Present Mic the time to comment as I briskly turned on my heel back toward the arena corridor, struggling to keep in the hot tears that threatened to slip down my cheeks.
I couldn't be praised for what Dream Walker intended to do. I couldn't be seen like that. I couldn't finish that fight.
I couldn't do this anymore.