Sha’riah
I immediately ran out of the toilets as quickly as possible. I swear I had never run so fast in my entire life, but for this it was necessary.
Stabbed?
My baby, stabbed?
I weren’t about to accept such shocking news!
I hurriedly went back to our table. Everyone gave me a questioning glare as I picked up my jacket.
"We have to go," I said impatiently. They all watched me oddly.
"Why, what’s wrong?" Joan asked.
“We have to go." I said again, raising me voice.
“We’re having a good time Sha’riah.” Francis countered.
"Alie dad. Don’t rush when I’m eating,” Tanisha said stuffing her face still. I took the fork from her and threw it to the other end of the table. A few people turned to our table, but right now I couldn’t give a fuck. Marcus is in trouble, and I’m not about to sit here and do nothing about it. I had to see him. Tanisha watched me angrily and flared her nostrils.
“Are you dumb?” She began.
"We need to go now!"
"Sha'riah, what’s happened?" Joan questioned.
"Something’s happened to my friend, I won’t be able to get there in time if I go alone. I have to go and see him," I put my jacket on and zipped it up. “Look, I appreciate the birthday dinner, and it’s been good, but I’m not gonna sit around when my friend is injured.”
“What friend?” Tanisha asked.
“Marcus.” Her mouth widened.
“Is he okay?”
“No, that’s why I’m leaving!” She shot up quickly, along with everyone else—apart from Nathaniel.
"C'mon Nathe, get up.” Joan glanced at him.
"Why should I? I don’t know this youte, why should I care?" He replied with attitude. I walked over to him and stood over him in an intimidated manner.
"I ain’t got time for your foolishness. My best friend that I care about is injured and in hospital, and you wanna choose now to mess about?" He gave me a look.
“I ain’t finished eating.”
“I don’t give a fuck!”
“Sha’riah…” Francis intervened. I kissed my teeth and walked out the restaurant without a backwards glance. I don’t care right now what he's been doing to me, if Marcus is in hospital I couldn’t give the slightest fuck about anything else. We all got to the car park and entered the car. This was gonna be a long journey, 3+ hours to get back to London. It would all be worth it though.
"Where is the hospital Riah?" Francis asked as he prepared the engine.
“London," I replied. He paused and looked back at me.
"What?"
"London." I repeated. He stared at me in awe. I already knew what was coming next.
"I’m not going all the way down there."
"Now's not the time." I breathed deeply.
"I’m sorry Riah but I’m not travelling all the way down there. At this time aswell?" I sighed.
"I need to see him.”
“Just let us go on our own then,” Tanisha proposed. Dad chuckled as if we were joking. Nathaniel kissed his teeth.
"What’s so special about this breh? Like you’re with him or summinn’." I screwed and had the strong urge to smash his head through the windshield.
"Suck out. He's my closest friend, you don’t know anything.” He fell silent.
“Leave it for another time, okay?” Joan said with a smile. My screw deepened. She would be next through the windshield.
"Sorry girls, I’m going home." He reversed the car and turned around, then began heading in the opposite direction, home. I sighed and sat there, completely angry and literally fuming. Tanisha shook her head and got her phone out her pocket. I watched as Nathaniel carried a smug smile on his face. Soon I will get rid of the bastard, and then we’ll see who will be smiling. Soon we arrived home and everyone entered the house in silence. Joan thanked him for the meal with a kiss to the cheek and headed upstairs, along with Tanisha. Francis closed the door and called my name just as I was going to the kitchen. I turned back to face him.
"You better fix up Sha’riah. You can’t seriously expect me to go all the way to London right now, can you?” I rolled my eyes and decided not to argue back. The less of an argument, the quicker he can get out my face.
“No,” I muttered, “I just really wanted to see him."
"I’m sure you did, I’m sorry." He looked at the clock. "It’s about time you get to bed now, okay?" I nodded and he patted me on the shoulder.
“Happy birthday, Riah."
“Thanks…” I gave a forced smile and walked upstairs into my room. As soon as I shut the door I quickly ran to my wardrobe and started packing whatever was in sight, stuffing various items into my Nike duffel bag.
Fuck staying here!!!
He really expects me to sleep peacefully like nothing has happened? He can fucking forget it, I’m leaving. I finished stuffing my iPod into my bag and quietly left my room, heading back down the stairs. I snuck into the kitchen and went to get a snack before I proceeded to get the fuck out of here. I switched on the light but jumped in fright when I saw Nathaniel sat by the table, watching me intently. This boy is crazy; I mean, why the fuck would you sit in the dark?
“Where you goin’?" He asked. I ignored the fucker and went straight to the fridge. I had no time to put up with his shit, not when Marcus is in trouble back at home. I made a couple of sandwiches and managed to fit them in the duffel bag, with some chocolates and yogurts to accompany them. I then heard him say quietly…
"Where you off to then?"
"It hasn’t got shit to do with you." I screwed him. He sighed and stood up then came closer to me...very close.
"It has everything to do with me. I can go right upstairs and let dad know what you’re planning to do.” He said. I raised an eyebrow and slightly moved backward.
“So that’s it then? You’re willing to snake me for no reason?”
“There is a reason,” he muttered, “I wouldn’t want you leaving the house now, you could get hurt.” I narrowed my eyes.
“Cut the bullshit. I refuse to stay here.” He rested both hands on either side of the counter, trapping me in the process.
“You’re going to the hospital to see that yout init?" He whispered.
“So what if I am?”
“I don’t want you seeing him,” I laughed.
“You’re so full of shit. And you’re not my dad; you can’t tell me what I can and can’t do.”
“But the man upstairs can.” He said, nearing my lips. "You seem to care bout this Marcus wasteman a lot.”
“The only wasteman is you to be honest.” I glared at him with pure hatred. He had no idea how badly I wanted to injure him. Demented cunt.
"Is he better than me?" He asked. I raised an eyebrow. The fuck is this guy on?
“You’re sick. Get help, I’m being serious.”
“So am I,” he countered. I kissed my teeth; I was sick of his bullshit.
"Nathaniel, move."
"He is init? What’s this yout doing that I haven’t?"
"For one, he isn’t related to me." I replied coldly. He chuckled.
“You’re difficult y’know.”
“Yeah, and you’re delusional. Now get the fuck out my way.”
"You really want me to?" He questioned, as if this were all a game.
“I’ll knee you in the balls if you don’t.”
“Do something for me first," he licked his lips. I gave him a knowing look. He then peered down at his private area, then back at me. I screwed him once more and shoved him aside, then hastily left the house, closing the door gently behind me. I didn’t even have time for his crap; Marcus was all that mattered right now. He was the main priority. I checked my pouch to see if I had enough money for the train etc. I then retrieved my iPod and listened to the only tune that suited my mood at this current moment. Mariah Carey — Bye Bye.
It just reminded me so much of Shawn, and brought back the sacred memories of which my brother and I shared, before he passed away. In this case though, the song brought memories of me and Marcus aswell. I swallowed the lump in my throat as the realisation hit me.
What if he does die?
One thing’s for damn sure, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.
I eventually got to the train station and walked through the correct barrier as there was no security guard. Fortunately for me, I already knew my way back to London. When I first arrived in Liverpool, I didn’t waste any time figuring out how to get back. I checked the time of my train and sat by the bench, waiting. Each minute that passed seemed like an hour, I was losing patience very quickly. All I wanted to do right now is be in Marcus’ arms. I don’t care bout anything else. Soon the train arrived and I quickly boarded. I sat in the 3rd carriage and wasted no time retrieving all my food from the duffel bag. I laid my sandwiches out on the table and began eating. I stared out the window as the train began to head off. I took another bite from my peanut butter sandwich and sighed deeply. My chest was unbelievably heavy. I was certain that no good could come of this; I was seriously dreading the worst. It’s like there was always a barrier between the two of us, like we weren’t meant to be. This just made me wonder…
Was we?
I shook my head and sighed once again.
“I’m coming Marcus.”
*
My eyes fluttered open and I flinched at the slight pain in my neck. I peered around and realised that I had fallen asleep on the train. I dusted the sandwich crumbs off of me then peered out the window, viewing my surroundings. I could tell that I was closer to London already. I couldn’t help but feel excited. I smiled to myself and got out a yogurt then started eating with my plastic spoon. London is where I belong; I could never stay away from my birth place. My mum or my dad couldn’t change my London mentality, no matter how much they tried. Just then, my phone vibrated. I looked at the screen to see it was a text from Tanisha. Knowing exactly what to expect, I rolled my eyes and opened it up.
Where r u?
Everyone’s woried..
Cum home
Pls xx
I kissed my teeth and deleted the text. She had no idea how I was feeling right now, none of them did. I was sick of being a doormat, for once I was gonna follow my heart and do what feels right – and this felt right. They didn’t need to worry about me. Yeah, I’m young, but I’m also wise. I then felt bad about ignoring Tanisha’s text, so I tapped her number in and decided to call her. It rang and I sighed.
"Sha'riah?" She answered quickly.
"Yo," I greeted plainly.
"Don’t ‘yo’ me! Where the fuck are you man?"
"Out." She kissed her teeth.
"Stop being dumb. Tell me."
“Why should I? You’re just gonna snake me to Francis.”
“You know I’m not like that. You can trust me. I’m just worried about your stupid self.” That made me smile.
"I’m on the train."
"WHAT?” I shushed her.
“Calm down.”
“What train?!"
"Shh." She tutted.
"Why you on the train for?"
“Why do you think? I’m gonna go see Marcus. He needs me.” She then fell silent.
"How did you get on the train? Lord knows you have no penny to your name.”
“True. There was no guard so I managed to get through.” She then chuckled.
“You’re fucking about init?” I sighed.
“No. I’m halfway there.” She then stopped laughing altogether.
“You’re mad una.”
“Mad and glad.”
“I won’t tell dad if you really don’t want me to.”
“Francis isn’t stupid. He’s gonna know where I’m going. I’m surprised you didn’t figure it out for yourself.”
“Same here. Usually we have that twin telepathy going on.” I laughed lightly.
"I hope you know I might not come back.” Fuck that. I WEREN’T heading back. Period.
“What about all your things?"
"Don’t give a fuck about that. This is all about Marcus. If he doesn’t make it, I don’t know what I’ll do." She sighed, but I knew she understood.
"Well, do what you gotta do. But if dad asks, I’m not gonna lie.” I tutted. So much for her not being a snake.
“You and your big mouth. Don’t tell him."
"Sha'ri—"
"Don’t. Let him work it out, since he’s so intelligent."
"Alright.”
“I’m going now, batteries gonna die.”
“Wait!" I paused.
"What?"
"If Marcus wakes up, tell him I said cool." I laughed at her foolishness.
“I will.”
“Tenga cuidado, sis.” I smiled.
“You too.” I locked off and looked around to see the various people asleep. Wow. I got up from my chair and went to find the nearest toilet. When I found one I did my thing (it was awkward in a moving vehicle to say the least) then headed back to my seat. On my way back, I stumbled over someone’s foot, causing me to drop my phone. I kissed my teeth and picked it up, ready to cuss the prick that tripped me up. I was then facing a beautiful boy, who watched me curiously.
"Sorry," he said. My eyes were set on his pair of lips. From what I was seeing, he wasn’t a bad catch at all.
“It’s alright,” I said, almost mesmerised. His lips then formed into a little smile.
“You okay?” I snapped out of my trance and nodded.
“Err, yeah." I then began to walk off.
“Wait,” I turned back, “you dropped this,” he said holding up my earphones. I thanked him and took them back, then went to my seat. After a few minutes of sitting there peering out the window, I came to a conclusion that the atmosphere was so friggin’ dead. I then decided to occupy my time by calling someone who was very important, besides Marcus of course. I tapped my foot impatiently, waiting.
"Hello?" She finally answered. My eyes widened. Her voice had changed completely. “Kamillah?" I asked.
"Yeah. Who's this?"
"Sha'riah." She started screaming, I jumped from her piercing scream.
"Aaahhh! Oh my God! Sha'riah, I've fucking missed you!” I laughed.
“Me too man. I changed my number; we haven’t even kept in touch.”
“I know man, it’s bad! You sound different.”
“It’s you that sounds different. What’s happened?” She laughed.
“Nothing. What have you been up to! I've missed you bare!"
"Same! But nothing, Liverpool was shit.”
“Was?” I smiled to myself.
“You’ll understand what I mean by that in a minute. Anyway it wasn’t that bad…met new people, made new friends.” She sighed.
"I hope no one's replaced me."
"Never that, Kam. How’s things with you though?"
"Everything’s dry. Even school! Nothing’s been the same without you here!" I was so shocked by her idiolect. She was never like this. Usually she was the type to keep herself to herself. She was the quiet one you’d find at the back of the class by herself – and now this?
"What’s happened Kam?" She was then silent.
"What you mean?"
"You’ve changed."
"Nah I ain’t."
“Tell me this then. When was the last time you read a book?” She became hesitant. I could tell that she had to think long and hard about it.
“Shut up.” I laughed. I had proven my point.
“I rest my case.”
“Whatever bitch. When can I see you though?" I smirked to myself.
"In roughly half an hour.” She paused.
“Come again?"
"I’m on train Kam." I said. At that point she started screaming again, it was beginning to hurt my eardrum. I moved the phone away from my ear to recover.
"Oh my days! I can’t wait to see you lot. Where’s Tanisha? Lemme speak to her!"
"Calm down. Tanisha ain’t with me." I chuckled.
"Why?"
"I left her at Liverpool, I’m coming by myself." She paused.
"Ooh..."
"I kinda ran away, but shh."
"What?!"
"Shh!" She sighed deeply.
"Sha'riah, what were you thinking?!"
"I just wanna come and see Marcus." I admitted quietly. She went silent.
"So you heard?"
"Michael told me. That’s why I’m coming, I wanna see if he's alright."
"I saw him," she said slowly.
"Is he okay?" I asked with a shimmer of hope in my voice.
"He’s fine. Just unconscious at the moment, and abit pale." I sighed, “Do you want me to meet you somewhere?"
"Can you?"
"Course. I think I know what station you’re heading to. I’ll be waiting outside." I smiled weakly.
“Thanks Kam.”
“No worries. See you soon.”
"Bye," with that I locked off. Atleast now I’ll be seeing Kamillah aswell as Marcus. Half an hour later I found myself stepping off the train and peering around. I breathed in the fresh—well, the familiar London air. Good old London, so glad to be back. This is where I belong; I should have run away a long time ago. I waited by the bench with my bag and tapped my foot waiting patiently. It didn’t take long before I heard my name being called from a different direction.
"Sha'riah!" I peered ahead and saw Kamillah running across the road heading my way. My eyes widened in excitement.
"Kam!" I called back. We both ran and hugged each other; I’ve missed her so much. It’s been ages! She squeezed me tight and pulled away with a smile. She appeared to be more different than I expected. Her once bronze bushy hair was now jet black and straightened. Her dress sense had also changed, and her braces were no longer in. She was stunning. “You’ve changed!” I said.
"You too!" She replied. I laughed and picked my bag up, ignoring the odd glares that we were receiving from others. "Let’s go." She suggested. I nodded in agreement and we walked to the bus stop. Luckily I carried my oyster card in my bag. It wouldn’t take too long to reach the hospital.
"How’s school?" I asked. She kissed her teeth; something that I’ve never seen her do before.
"Boring, shit. Just full of bare bitches and pricks having fights every rassclart day. Pure mix-up everywhere you turn. I’m getting sick of it, and the coursework aswell." I blinked and stared at her wide-eyed. This was not like her at all! She noticed my expression and chuckled. “What?" She asked.
"You've changed bare!" I laughed. She nudged me lightly.
"Stop saying that!" We eventually got on the bus and sat on the top deck by the middle. I looked out the window, watching life go by. Life... something that Marcus is currently fighting for. I couldn’t bear it, knowing that he was suffering whilst everyone else was living happily as if it didn’t mean shit. I sighed deeply as I came to the realisation that he may not make it through. He was the unlucky type. I noticed Kam was peering at me, analysing my face.
"You’re thinking about him init?" She questioned. I nodded.
"I miss him man.” She fell silent for the rest of the bus journey. Soon after we entered Kings College Hospital. I gulped and we walked inside. We went to the reception and gave in his name. The receptionist provided us with directions to his ward. We thanked her and eventually arrived at ward 3b. Kamillah opened the door but I was glued on the spot. Now that I had the opportunity to see him, I was frozen. I couldn’t go inside; my nerves had got the better of me. I took a deep breath.
“I’ll wait out here.” She said. I nodded, not looking at her once, as I was too focused on the open door. I finally entered the room and closed the door behind me. There he was… laying there almost lifeless. First Shawn and now him. Who's next? I walked closer and stared the wires travelling in and out of him. He was breathing lightly which was a good sign. I sighed and sat down beside the hospital bed, peering at him quietly for a few minutes. Kamillah was right, he really is pale. It was as bad as I expected. He had even lost weight, and appeared scruffy. I felt the tears appear.
"Hi Marcus…it's me,” I whispered gently, “I've been worried about you. I heard what happened and rushed straight here. I... I ran away, just to be close to you again.” He didn’t respond. Instead he laid there, peacefully. “I missed you so much. Every night before I went to sleep, I’d think about you. Just wondering if you was safe or not… or if you was thinking about me aswell.”
A tear fell.
"I’m so sorry for leaving you here. I didn’t want to go in the first place, but you insisted, you knew it was for my benefit. I couldn’t stand being away from you though. It was actually painful. Look at me talking to myself, I’m just rambling on." I laughed lightly to myself but sighed when I realised I wasn’t gonna get an answer. "When we were younger you were always the brave one. Always courageous and willing to do anything for me. Remember when I kicked the ball over the neighbour’s fence with that scary dog? And you went and got the ball for me, even though the dog bit you up afterwards.” I chuckled, “that’s what I mean. You did things that you didn’t have to, but it was for my benefit. Just proves how much you care for me.”
He continued to breathe lightly, the monitor beside him beeping in intervals. I studied the monitor, before turning back to face him.
“I had a good birthday by the way. I went out with a few new friends and my broth- Tanisha's friend Nathaniel. We went to the cinema…something we used to do, remember?”
Another tear…
“That’s what I miss. Our times together; it’s not how it used to be. I miss us…I miss everything about the old us and what’s faded away. I only have myself to blame, with the whole Dylan situation…and me moving to Liverpool. It just isn’t the same. Anyway, I can’t wait till you recover, then I can tell you all about my new friends. They'd be glad to meet you."
Silence.
"Please talk to me Marcus; I don’t wanna accept the fact that this might be our last moment together."
Silence. I held onto his hand and broke down completely. With a blurry vision and a throbbing forehead, I only had one thing left to say.
"I...I love you."