Cal:
I wait outside on the school grounds for my daughter, leaning against my Jeep. I spot Sukie coming out of the front doors with a group of her friends. She spots me, waving goodbye to some girls before parting. She smirks when she gets close enough, and I hand her the cup of coffee I bought for her earlier.
"Mocha?" She asks
"Yes."
"Vanilla?"
"Yes."
"Whipped cream?"
"Yes."
She grins. "You're the best."
I shrug, pushing off of the car and walking around the side to get behind the wheel.
Sukie slides into the passenger seat, slamming the door shut before shrugging out of her jacket and tossing it in the backseat.
"I hate school uniforms." She mutters before grabbing a sweatshirt out of her backpack.
"Hey. You're in a great school." I say giving a sideways glance at her.
"The people there are mean." She argues.
"Well. I'm the greatest father on the planet and got you coffee." I offer.
She doesn't grin, just takes a long drink from her cup.
"Look, Sukie," I sigh, "I know that moving to a new state and new house and new high school is a big transition, and it's not easy at all. Especially since work has been a bit hectic and you're not with your old friends anymore. But California isn't so bad. Good weather."
"I just want things to be the way they were last year." Sukie murmurs.
I press my lips together. "I know." I sigh.
Ever since Sandy died, it's been hard. Sukie doesn't have a mother, and I don't have a wife.
Sandy was 34 years old when she died; young, headstrong, and complicated. Just because she died doesn't change how I feel about her at all. She faced challenges that weren't acknowledged, and because we were so careless we never talked about things. I still love her, and I miss her like crazy. I don't know why she died, it can't be controlled or understood...maybe she just couldn't take the pressure, and that hard yet beautiful part of her life caught up with her. We discovered that she was pregnant when we were in college, and it was a milestone and nightmare. We were too young then, unprepared and stupid. Sandy dropped out of college, but I stayed to major in college and get a masters degree. We both knew someone needed to work, to make money for our future child. I wasn't there when Sukie was born. I wasn't there when my parents yelled at her for having a child so early. I wasn't there to support her like her friends and family did.
I wasn't there when she needed me the most. I think the only time I've ever really seen her happy was when it was just us two in college, two lovesick sweethearts. I knew she was scared, but she was stubborn and refused to believe it. We got married when I graduated, and when Sukie was here I thought everything was going to be all right.
It wasn't.
I spent my life working for a job, and when I got one, I spent every minute trying to support everything else around me. I thought I was helping my family by supporting them, but I was really ignoring them.
So when I got a call from the police telling me that a woman, my wife, died in a car crash under the influence of alcohol, I didn't believe them. It wasn't until I was brought to the hospital, that I knew it was Sandy. Her face was cut, one of her eyes swollen. There was dried blood in her hair, and the blankets around her were stained too.
My Sandy didn't drink, she barely touched wine. But the hospital made me confirm that the body was my wife, this corpse that was beyond drunk. I didn't want to see that body, it wasn't Sandy. It wasn't the woman I fell in love with, it was just a mistake. The doctors nodded, took me outside, and I was afraid to see them wrap her up in fabric, suffocate her when she could still be breathing. Maybe they didn't check her pulse right. The police drove me to their station, sat me down at a table, and played me a tape. I watched a light blue SUV shoot down the road like a rocket, and the car suddenly swung in a sharp turn, it's side open and bare to the people in the other lanes. A car slams into it, the front of a grey car shatters, and the blue SUV receive a large dent in the side. Glass shatters, a body slams against the window and blood splatters across. The tape is cut and the police ask me to sign some files. I confirm that it's my car, and that the license plate matches.
I went home after that, my daughter confused and scared. I didn't even have a person to feed her or take care of her at all. I vowed to never let that happen again, to never let her down when I've already let her mother down.
We moved after that. Neither of us could stand being where we were. We both wanted a fresh start, and being an architect, I was able to acquire a nice country house in the open field next to a stream. We've got a few neighbors here and there, and their barn kittens like to sleep in our garage.
The car ride was quick and silent. I parked and Sukie brushed out, already up to the porch and opening the door with her house key. I follow in behind, closing the door and going into the kitchen. I spot Sukie at the fridge, and she tosses me an apple.
"Thanks." I say sitting at the chair and taking a bite. "You got a lot of homework?"
"Sorta." She says shrugging and taking another sip of coffee. "You got a lot of work?"
"Sorta." I shrug.
She smirks.
—————
The next week went well, I get to work at home now. I also have to leave early everyday now since there's no one to pick Sukie up from school.
I wait for Sukie again, sitting on the hood of my car. She comes out of the front like always, giggling with her friends. I wave to her and she nods towards me, silently telling me to wait a moment. I smile, taking a sip from my coffee cup, proud that I managed to get one from work before heading to pick her up.
She nods, laughing again, then waves her friends goodbye before heading towards me.
I stand up, ready to offer her my coffee but somebody bumps into Sukie, causing her to stumble and drop her books.
"Oh!" She says surprised, but she bends down, quickly picking her books back up.
"I'm so sorry!" The guy says crouching next to her and helping her with her books. He stands, offering his hand to her but she quickly stands too, her hands full.
"Sorry. I wasn't looking where I was going." He says rubbing the back of his neck with hand, casually trying to play off the fact that Sukie just declined.
"It's fine. Bye." Sukie says almost bored, and she makes her way to me, and I pass my coffee to her open palm.
"Thanks." She says taking a long drink, finishing it up.
"Hey." The guy says. I frown, annoyed that he followed her. "What's your name?" He asks.
"Sukie." Sukie says trying to find a garbage can.
"I'm Mike." The guy says holding his hand out.
"Oh. Thanks." Sukie says putting the cup in his hand and slapping my shoulder. "Let's go."
I nod quickly, walking around and opening the car down.
"Wait. Umm. Would you mind getting a drink with me sometime?" The guy — Mike — asks. "I'll buy you a coffee." He says smirking.
"Maybe another time." I say annoyed.
"Oh? And who are you?!" The guy snaps. "Her brother?!"
"Her father." I growl.
The guy reels away, surprised and wide eyed.
"Bye." I say getting in and slamming the car door. Sukie does the same, sighing when I start the car and pull away, the Jeep jerking and bumping along the road.
I lean towards Sukie, keeping my eyes on the road. "So should I play the dad part now?"
"Go ahead. Knock yourself out." Sukie smirks.
"Ok." I pause for a moment, thinking. "You're not allowed to ever see that Mike boy again, he's got no manners whatsoever and I don't need his attitude influencing you."
Sukie barks out a laugh. "I think you're enough of an influence...brother."
"That's it. You're grounded."
Sukie grins. "For how long?"
I pause again.
"See?" Sukie says pointing at me. "Right there. Gotta have a quick answer. Be more affirmative. Nice run though, you were pretty father figure-like for that moment."
I sigh, pulling the car into park. "I don't know if that's a compliment."
Sukie tilts her head. "You're the coolest dad ever. You don't need to be the father-figure, just being there for me and supporting me is plenty...it gives me the opportunity to find myself."
I smile, leaning back and thinking about her words. "Good to know." I laugh quietly. "Probably shouldn't copy me, I wasn't as smart as you when I was your age."
We get out of the car, and when we get to the porch and I open the door, Sukie surprises me with a question.
"So what were you like at my age?"
I shrug, tossing my keys and coat onto the table next to us, kicking the door shut with the back of my foot. "Pretty reckless. You're mother had you when she was 16, and I was 17 then. It was...scary" I admit, "but a good scary."
"And grandma and grandpa?" Sukie asks walking off towards the kitchen.
I follow her, grabbing an apple out of a bowl and taking a bite, chewing thoughtfully. "They obviously weren't pleased, and they hated your mother, but she didn't care." I smile. "She just wanted her daughter."
Sukie glances up at me, obviously not knowing what to say next. She doesn't ask much about Sandy, but I always tell her I'm open to talk about it.
"I've got a basketball game this Friday..." Sukie says tightening her hands around her straps of her backpack. "Could you come?"
I blink, surprised. Sukie rarely invites me to come, and we've agreed that I'd only come if she wanted me to. "Yeah. Sure. What time?" I ask.
"Later after school. Around 4:30" she says glancing away. She starts to walk off towards the stairs, probably going to her room to study.
"Wait." I say laughing softly and catching up with her. She stops and turns around.
"Any particular reason why you're asking your father to come and watch the game?"
"Maybe I want my dad to come and cheer me on." She pouts.
I laugh, shaking my head. "Yeah right. Last time I went to the game your coach asked me to pipe down because he couldn't even yell to you on the court."
Sukie rolls her eyes, smiling. "Ok fine."
She presses her lips together, the smile fading quickly. "It's an important game, and I want you to come."
"Why wouldn't I come? You're my daughter for crying out loud."
Sukie shrugs. "Just...mom usually came. Not you."
A silence settles over. I press my lips together. "Look" I say quietly, "I get that nothing will be the same. But understand that I'm still your dad, and I'd love to play the mom part too. Seriously." I say smiling.
"Promise not to embarrass me?" She asks biting her lip.
"Yeah yeah." I say waving it off.