Chapter 11.
Candice's POV.
One night passed and hindi nagpakita sakin si Daniel. iisa lang ang room namin and hindi siya umuwi kagabi. bahala siya! i think we both need a space for us to think about this matter. masyadong masikip sa dibdib yung mga nangyayari. masyadong confusing.
Andito ako ngayon sa isang resto somewhere at bora, eating alone. nakaka-out of place! ako lang mag-isa. kadalasana ng mga nandito family, couple or magkakaibigan. Hay, life.
"Mag-isa ka nanaman." nagulat ako nung umupo sa harap ko yung lalaking tumabi din sakin sa airplane.
"Stalker?"
"Feeler?"
"Denial."
"I'm not."
"Why are you here?"
"Ikaw lang ba pwede dito?"
"May sinabi ako?"
"Wala."
Annoying guy! -___- Lilipat na sana ako ng table ng ma-realize kong walang vacant.... bwisit!
"Humanap ka nga ng ibang table!" sabi ko.
"Wala ng vacant." he shrugged.
"So? edi sa lapag ka."
"Bakit ba ang mean mo sakin? Wala naman akong ginagawa sa'yo ah."
"Because your presence is so annoying!"
"Ouch."
Inirapan ko nalang siya at nagpatuloy sa pagkain. Daldal siya ng daldal, my goodness!
"Asawa mo ba yung pilot? halatang hindi pa masyado marunong---..."
"You shut up! 'wag mong pagsalitaan ng ganyan ang asawa ko or else i'll stab you with this." at tinuro ko sakanya yung knife na hawak ko. kainis! kasalanan ba ni daniel na mahangin at makakapal ang ulam that time?
"Chill there..... Mrs. Anderson." He said.
I raised my right eyebrow. 'di na ako magtataka kung bakit niya ako kilala.. well...
"I am Xerxes Ravago." nag-abot siya ng kamay. tinignan ko lang ito at tinanguan siya.
"I didn't know that Candice Suarez-Anderon is as rude as i expected." saad pa niya.
"Mr. Ravago right? hindi ka man lang nahihiya makipag-usap sa isang katulad ko? I mean... i'm an anderson and you're off limits because i'm married."
"I'm just asking for friendship. hindi PA naman kita popormahan." PA? What the! So confirmed, this Xerxes Ravago is flirting.
I rolled my eyes and finished my breakfast. Tumayo ako and i felt him following me.
"Saan kayo naka-check in?" He asked me.
"Stop following me!"
Pero hindi siya nagpatinag! Nakarating nalang ako sa lobby ng hotel pero naka-sunod pa rin siya. Hanggang sa elevator sinundan niya ako! Mygoodness.
"Xerxes, sorry for being rude pero basted kana." I said.
"Woah. hindi pa nga ako nagsisimula, basted agad?" He playfully poked my waist.
"Ano ba!!"
Patuloy lang siya sa pag-poke sakin sa waist ko hanggat sa napatawa na rin ako. baliw talaga ang lalaking ito! my gosh!
*ting*
Bumukas ang elevator, hudyat na nakarating na kami sa floor na pupuntahan namin. Nagulat ako nung tumumbad sakin ang seryosong mukha ni Daniel. masama ang tingin niya sa akin at ganon din kay Xerxes.
Nauna akong lumabas at buti naman ay nagpaalam na si Xerxes. same floor pala kami at magkatapat lang ang room namin.
"Oh? buti naman nagpakita ka pa." mataray kong saad at inunahan siya papasok sa kwarto. agad naman siyang sumunod at nilock ang pinto.
"Sino 'yun?" He asked. seriously. he's asking me that? buti naman may pakialam pa siya.
"New found friend."
"Friend? Friend tas naglalandian?"
Nanlaki ang mata ko sa sinabi niya. My god! Landian?! Ang kapal ng mukha niya! parang siya hindi nakikipaglandian kay cheska ah?!
"Eh ano naman sa'yo? Kapag kayo ba ni Cheska naglalandian sinisita kita? No right?"
napasabunot siya sa kanyang buhok at nahiga sa kama. he looks frustated! anong problema niya? don't tell me he's jealous? hah! kung ganon nga, i don't believe him. kasi kung mahal niya pa din ako, hindi niya gi-girlfriend-in si cheska. diba? tsk.
Daniel, i know.... i know na nililito mo lang ang feelings ko. Gusto mo gumanti sakin right? sige lang. do what you want. but this is what i'll promise you, hindi ako aasa. hindi ako mage-expect na totoo na 'yang pinapakita mo. NO! masakit umasa. been there done that. Tapos na ako sa masasakit na pinag-gagawa mo.
Hindi ko na pipilitin yung sarili ko sa'yo. PERO DAMN IT! I promised my son na magkakabalikan kami Daniel! God, this is so frustating. kung bakit ba kasi ako nag-promise, eh wala namang kasiguraduhan na mangyayari nga 'yon!
Speaking of my son.... nag-vibrate yung phone and guess who, it's mommy.
pumunta ako sa veranda ng room namin and answered the phone,
"Hello mommy!"
"Hi my baby justinn! i miss you so much!" nangilid nanaman ang luha sa mga mata ko. i freaking missed my son! but we both have to sacrifice dahil kami din naman ang magbe-benefit in the end.
"I miss you too mommy! so so so much! you know mom, i've been doing well in photography."
"really? i'm so proud of you baby! make an album ha and show me your pictures."
"Ofcourse, all for you mom... Mommy when are you going back?"
Naalala ko nanaman ang pagtatalo namin ni Daniel kanina. i covered my mouth para my son won't here my sobs. this is so hard! my son has been longing for his father's love. he's longing for a complete, happy family. I pity my son alot, he grew up with a broken family. and his daddy's having an affair with someone. Isnt he pitiful? pero i promised myself that i won't make my son feel incomplete. pero habang lumalaki siya, his curiosity about his father is starting.... and mas habang tumatagal mas lalo pa itong lumala. I didnt tell him that his father was dead because i knew he'll be upset.
"Mommy... still there?"
"yes baby! uh... about that, i still have important business here baby. you know naman my goal is to get your father back, right?"
"But mommy... what takes it so long? I thought he loves you? I thought he loves me? You're gone for a week now mom and it's impossible that you too havent met yet."
See how brilliant my son is? hindi siya inutil. hindi siya madaling mauto. ito ang mahirap, it's hard to keep a secret to my intelligent son. He's always curious and he won't stop interoggating you unless you tell him the truth. My son is an observant. He can predict other people in ways of looking at their eyes straightly. See how gifted my son is? He's too young for that skills and i don't think he deserves this kind of broken family. Ni-hindi alam ng papa and grandparents niya that someone like him exists. Hindi kompleto yung pagmamahal na nararamdaman ng anak ko, i feel that. Because his life was full of secrets and it's mysterious.
"Candice..... this is mommy..."
"Mommy......"
"I don't know why you have to keep justinn from his father. kawawa yung bata, anak."
"Ma, you know the situation right?"
"Yes, princess i know. but don't you think it's time for them to meet justinn? before it's too late anak. you don't know what might happen next. Life's full of unexpected happenings and revelations, anak. remember that."
Hindi parin mawala sa isip ko yung mga sinabi sakin ni mommy at ng anak ko. Ang kinakatakot ko lang naman, pag nalaman ni Daniel na may anak kami, baka kunin niya sakin si justinn! baka makarating sa korte ito. Because i know, hindi na ako mahal ni Daniel like before. I still have to figure things out, i don't want to rush. i might make a wrong move and i don't want that to happen. As much as i want to, gusto ko ng ipakilala si Justinn kay Daniel. as his son! kung sana ganon lang 'yon kadali, hindi ko na pinaabot ng 7 years bago ko ipakilala ang anak ko.
Ito nanaman ang luha ko... ayaw nanaman magpa-awat. but i don't have to blame somebody for this! ginusto ko ito mangyari. masyado akong padalos-dalos. I wanted this! hindi ko pinagkatiwalaan si daniel noon. i doubted him. and the worst part? i told him that i never loved him even when i do, did and still loving him. Hindi na mawawala ang pagmamahal ko kay daniel.
I don't think i'll get tired of this shits. no matter what it is, i have to hold on. for the sake of my son, and for the sake of my love for daniel. He is my extreme love, kung mapagod man ako, magpapahinga ako. i won't give up. ganon na man ang love diba? kahit mahirap, kahit may butas gagawan ng paraan para manatili itong buo. minsan kailangan din magpaka-tanga to realize things, hindi yung magpadalos-dalos agad.
And pride? Ayaw ko na yan pairalin. Everything was ruined because of that. My life.... not just my life. my son and my husband's life. And now we're incomplete and longing for each other....
Kanina lang sinukuan ko na si Daniel... kanina lang gusto ko na siyang iwan! kanina lang nagsawa na ako sakanya because of the pain. But when i heard my son's voice? nabura lahat ng pagod, galit at poot na nararamdaman ko. I'm strong outside but inside i'm dying. Oo na, magpapaka-manhid na ako. I'll try to be a ruthless person. kakayanin ko, kahit saktan ako ni daniel with his sweet words or gestures, hindi ko na 'yon papansinin. Kung gaganti siya? Fine. basta hindi ko siya iiwan. hindi ko na ulit siya susukuan.
And i'll make him love me again like what he did before...
Sana ganon lang kadali...... sana.