MARCH 06, 2016
Jungkook
"No, Please, NO!"
Are the words that escaped his lips when the car had started moving...
He remembered...
Calling out her name, again and again...
Hoping that each call would lead him back to her....
He remembered...
Her hand pressed against the door that separated her from him...
Her pleading eyes begging to be back in his arms, where she belonged...
He remembered.....
Kneeling down on the ground,
With tears falling down
And her crying eyes being the last thing he saw that night,
As he watched her disappear from his sight,
Forever.
__________________________________
Jungkook gasps, his mouth thirsting for air.
He dreamt of her, again....
The same nightmare had come to haunt him, the aching pain in his chest growing larger the longer he's not with her....
Why....
Why must she slip away from him...
Jungkook exhaled as deeply as he could.
His eyes subconsciously looking to his left,
That was where she used to lay down,
with her hair sprawled across the bed and her head resting on his chest....
He stared at the spot longer than he should have, but immediately turned away, as the more he stared, the more his heart ached...
The smell of Soju lingered around his room that once possessed her fresh scent...
He groaned in pain, rubbing his forehead in mere frustration...
Why does it seem like everywhere his eyes lingered,
Top or bottom
Left or right
His inner soul would always remind him of her image...
He shook his head, and grabbed his coat from the side,
the coat she once wore the first time they met....
He exhaled again and pondered on, before stepping his foot outside his old window,
Where she used to go through
And he would welcome her with a tight hug.
But not anymore
Jungkook closed his eyes, thinking why....
Why is life so cruel.
___________________________________
The night at Hongdae is as usual as it is. The night life here is pumped up with lights and restaurants. Music in the background and ordinary civilians can be mostly seen in groups walking together.
Despite all this, Jungkook didn't care and walked alone with his head down. It's not like he hadn't done this before.
He liked it, he liked being alone.
But not as he liked being alone with--
There it is again.
Jungkook shooked his head and groaned...
He just remembered the reason why he had come out right here...
He had to free his mind from her, even just for one night
He had to forget....
He just had to....
Bang PD had forbid him to go outside during the night ever since that day
But Jungkook didn't care anymore. In the past two months, it seemed like he had lost touch of everything.
Like a part of himself just got torn away like a paper.
He sighed, and walked further to wherever his feet took him.
After a few turns, Jungkook soon found himself coming across some fans who recognized and greeted him with full enthusiasm.
He forced them a smile, a little chat wouldn't hurt, as long as they won't follow him around, especially with a camera.
The fans seemed happy to see him. Jungkook wanted to smile along with them, but no matter how hard he tried, nothing seemed to work out.
The time came and Jungkook got tired of showing a forced smile.
He just had to say good-bye to those fans and reminded them to not follow him, in a nice way.
As soon as Jungkook left their sight, he exhaled and began walking again.
But then.....
~ggwak jaba nal deopchigi jeone
nae mami neol nohchigi jeone~
Jungkook's ears perked up as soon as he heard their song playing.
~Say what you want
Say what you want
niga jinjjaro wonhaneun ge mwoya~
He hurriedly went to the source of the sound, and found a busking event of a group of boys dancing to their song "Boy In Luv"
Perfect. Watching this would be a good distraction from her, he thought
~ggwak jaba nal deopchigi jeone
nae mami neol nohchigi jeone~
Jungkook stood there and watched the boys dance to their song.
Fans had noticed him but he told them to stay quiet.
~Say what you want
Say what you want
niga jinjjaro wonhaneun ge mwoya~
Jungkook almost found himself smiling. He appreciated watching these boys. He really did.
For the first time, his thoughts began drifting away from her.
Or so he thought.
The curl on his lips quickly vanished as soon as his part in the song came in....
~doegopa neoui oppa
neoreul hyanghan naui maeumeul wae molla~
His body quickly stood frozen.
That part....
The boys that were dancing seemed to fade away from his sight,
And for a moment, he thought he had seen her figure dancing in front of his eyes.
Everything seemed to fade away and the only thing he could see is her.
Jungkook felt his eyes almost getting teary from the aching pain dwelling inside his chest.
~ggwak jaba nal deopchigi jeone
nae mami neol nohchigi jeone~
His mind could no longer focus, as all the memories of her that he tried to repress these past two months, came back like a thunderstorm.
~Say what you want
Say what you want
niga jinjjaro wonhaneun ge mwoya~
As soon as the song ended, Jungkook ran away from the site with tears forming in his eyes.
He needed to get away from everything...
He needed to run,
He needed to.....
Just for tonight....
"*huff*huff*huff"
Jungkook ran with the darkness surrounding him.
He didn't care. He just let his feet take him anywhere as long it's away from everyone..
Darkness now took over his vision.
Clueless at where his feet stood, Jungkook stopped in his tracks and kneeled on the ground. His mouth catching for air.
Why is it, that no matter how hard he tried, tears would always end up falling from his eyes.
Jungkook sobbed a little, the aching pain in his chest kept jumping back the more he tries to pull away.
This pain....
Why won't it stop?
Jungkook continued to focus his gaze on the ground, he let his never-ending tears run like a river.
But then suddenly, something gleaming near his spot captured his attention. With teary eyes and weak hands, Jungkook reached out to it.
'This....' Jungkook thought.
His body sat there frozen, and unable to move. His watery eyes only looking at the object in his hand.
It was an old lamp. The old lamp.
The one they once shared under the moonlight back then.
The one of which possessed so many memories, of her.
Jungkook stood up, and lifted his head. His eyes opening wide at his surroundings.
He hadn't realized that he was standing at the Cliff all along.
The same cold wind brushed past his figure, Jungkook remembered taking her to this place.
It was all the same, except, she's no longer here with him.
Jungkook looked at a distance into the wide field and slowly took a step forward.
Another tear had fell from his eye, when he saw her figure gawking at the view.
'Is this real?' Jungkook thought.
Halla stood there, with her back facing him. Her hair swaying a bit to the side, as the wind passed by.
Jungkook found himself staring a bit more, a mix of emotions climbing up to him as his mouth dropped in utter disbelief.
A faint smile crawled up his face, his teary eyes blinking a few times as he tried to reach out to her shoulders.
"Halla..." Jungkook softly whispered.
But as soon as his hand touched her, the image of her began to vanish.
Jungkook's eyes widened, as his hand kept on reaching out to nothing more than thin air all this time. Another set of tears rolled down from his eyes as he tried to calm his breathing.
But this time, he couldn't contain it.
The loud scream of Jungkook echoed throughout the whole forest and beyond the ends of the cliff.
He's got enough of this..... He's tired of everything.....
Jungkook's body dropped to the ground near the edge with his palms resting against his sweaty forehead.
He let himself breathe for a couple of times before finally calming down with one final exhale. He set his hands free and he looked up at the sky, where the same stars from that same night had shown up.
Two months.
Two months since that day, and two months since his suffering began.
Jungkook sighed.
How long will he keep going like this?
Ever since he and Halla got separated, Jungkook never felt the same way again. After the car took her, Bang PD forbid him and the rest of bangtan to communicate with the ark members, or dare to even speak their name.
Jungkook suddenly felt a stinging pain in his chest at the horrible memory.
Every day, and every night, she's the one and only thing filling up his thoughts.
He really misses her entirely...
The most painful thing in his entire life had left a deep scar in his chest. Which is having the entire world secured under his touch, only to watch her get taken away in less than a glimpse.
Sometimes he even wondered if he's still alive, or just breathing...
In these past two months, Jungkook had appeared on TV frequently. On broadcast he had to fake his smile the entire time, which tortured him, and Bangtan knew that.
And today is March 6th. Only a few more weeks before they set off to Japan for the tour. And only a few more weeks 'til her birthday.
Jungkook let out a heavy sigh as he waited for the tears to dry up.
At least he'll be able to distract himself when the tour starts.... he hoped.
Slowly, he lifted his head up and watched the world move slowly before him....
He suddenly wondered where she is right now.
Is she safe?
Is she looking at the same sky as him?
Right now, all Jungkook wanted was to see her again, hold her again, be with her again.
But that seemed to be believing the unbelievable.
Jungkook let out another sigh, looking up at the stars for one last time as thoughts of her continued to run in his mind, drowning himself in the sea of memories.
For the last time, He scoffed.
Another sleepless night for him, then.
____________________________________
A/N: I based this chapter on this video of Jungkook walking in Hongdae and watching the cover Boy In Luv.
Oh goshhh! I'm sorry this came out late than usual. So much stuff had happened these past few weeks
1.Suji and Chan as centers on the unit. (Yass!)
2. A. C. E. Chan's birthday (yes, I'm a choice too)
3. The new year (btw, happy new year guyz)
4. The Ark's 1000th day plus Jane's golden insta live (like omg have u watched it, u have to watch it ryt now)
5. BTS OUTCAST! (oh god this left me shooked.)
And also, I won't be updating as frequently as I did before, this is due to school works and family stuff so I might get busy. BUT, I will still update and work on the next chapters as fast as I can. So far we only have about 5-6 chapters left so keep tuning. 😉
Btw, in regards to what happened to Halla and Jungkook. If you remember the last chapter, Halla was taken away by a car, along with her stuff from Jk's room. And Jane was taken to MusicK and got forced to be part of the line up for WHITE (like what CEO did to Halla). And none of the bts members know where they are right now because of what happened.
Don't worry, we'll see Halla in the next chap. And thank you so much guys again for everything, I appreciate all the love you give to this story, I'll finish it I promise.
❤❤❤❤❤