So like that's Axel...
Chapter 12
The crowd screams and does another wave as a touch down is made. I watch as Hazel climbs onto Jackson's shoulder in the middle of the student section. She so easily captures the attention of everyone around her without knowing it.
While me and Mo are further up the bleachers feeling too drained to be apart of the madness right now.
"You okay with this?" Mo asks as I watch Hazel scream causing me to smile.
"What do you mean?" I ask somewhat surprised by her seriousness.
"You know, this," she says pushing her hands or to Hazel and the guys, "the people around you are amazing. But they aren't exactly what you told me you needed in the beginning. You said under the radar- they are off the charts kind of people."
"What brought this on?" I ask completely caught off guard.
"What you said the first day stuck with me. I understand wanting to be invisible more than anyone."
"I never said invisible."
She lets out a sigh, "Blaze. I get you like them. Hazel has been my friend for a long time, but she is directly in the middle of you are trying to avoid. They all are," Mo points out and I can't help but flinch at the truth in her words.
"Look it's not that big of a deal-"
"What you think I don't notice?" She snaps and I reel back in surprise.
"What?" I breathe.
"The hushed conversations with Axel. His sudden interest in you when a week or two ago you would tell me how much he hates you! They way you are with Mr. William for God's sake. Either your fucking both of them, which power to you, or obviously those two know something you don't want them too! Isn't that proof enough that you have gotten too close to these people?! That this is exactly what you didn't want. Why you needed my help in the first place if you weren't going to actually go through with it!" Mo whisper yells watching the people around us.
She continues before I can interrupt, "i have learned to accept not knowing your secrets. But that doesn't mean I don't see the damage they have done. Like I could ignore the fact you lie through your teeth. Anything involving you, your home, your parents, where your from, all of it is a lie, complete crap," She signs and softly adds, "Blaze it's like you don't even know what's the truth or a lie anymore."
I watch her silently before slowly let my eyes fall towards my feet, "Damn I forgot you're smart," I mutter.
"I'm not valedictorian because I like to study," she says with a smirk.
I roll my eyes, "I can see that, as well as no social filter."
In the corner of my eyes I see her cheeks tint a light shade of pink, "I'm working on that."
I sign and shove my hands further into my pockets, exhausted was a word I could use to describe my mental state right now. Always on edge, always trying to be smart, to be cautious, to stay hidden. But at the same time I fell at ease when I am with them. Comfortable, something only one person as given me since I was on the run. And I even left her.
"What now?" I whisper more to myself but Mo answers.
"You step back," she says with a shrug, "whatever you are running from-"
She holds up a hands when I try to deny it- people keep doing that to me and I am starting to feel like a child, "Blaze your apartment is empty and your bags are still packed. Like you are waiting for a reason to leave. As if you are expecting a reason to pop out any minute."
I sigh and mumbling, "Because I am."
She nods her head slowly trying not to ask too many questions, suddenly we here Hazel scream out a part of some chant as the boys score a touch down on the field.
We both watch silently for a moment at what could have been a perfect game night.
"Whoever they are, obviously you're scared. It's not too late to step back, they won't get too hurt."
I nod as I raise my head to get a better look at the boys on the field slapping each other's helmets as Jackson and Hazel chant amongst the rowdy student section several rows below us on the bleachers.
"The longer you stay with them, the more pain you cause."
She is trying to help.
She knows this is what I want, she even seems to understand why without saying anything.
But she doesn't know that after 5 years, I am so fucking tired of pushing people away because I always end up hurting myself the most, crying the hardest. Missing them. Wishing I could, for once, fall in love. Have a best friend.
"But I'll still be here," Mo says as if reading my thoughts.
I look up at her as she smiles gently, "I have nothing they can take. So whoever they are, they don't scare me," she says.
I want to ask, but since she gave me the curtsy of privacy I do the same.
Instead I slowly smile at her, "I'm not going to tell you anything" I warn her.
She shrugs, "I know."
Glancing over at the field I watch the boys, "Mason is gonna blow up my phone," I tell her.
"We can change you're number," she reminds me.
"Jax is gonna have to handle Hazel," I add and Mo just nods her head, "you won't be able to see Jackson if you're always with me."
Mo blushes at that but stays quiet, "Axel will probably love the fact I'm away from them," I mutter for some reason that one stung.
Mo shakes her head, "I disagree," she says following my gaze on number 14, "I think he's going to be the one we have to worry about the most. I think he's gonna fight for you the most."
I smile at that, a part of me wishing it was true, "we'll see."
Looking at the student section again I see Hazel with a broad smile plastered on her face, "I really liked them," I mumble and Mo nudges me with her shoulder.
"Maybe one day you can try again," she suggests, "start over with them."
I feel a pain in my chest as my eye sting threatening to spill over waterfalls, "I've said that so many times Mo," I whimper and she wraps her skinny arm around my shoulder.
"It could be different, and you have me this time," she offers and I softly smile.
"A partner in crime? It's been a while since I've had that," I tease causing her to smile but we both get distracted by the roar of a touch down.
I look over to see number 14- Axel, on the end zone having successfully made a touch down. His second one. Jackson had already gotten a video of me shouting his name earlier in the game.
My heart squeezes at the thought of his teasing and questioning competing to an end.
"Let's get out of here," she mutters standing up and without looking away at back I follow her out.
Before Hazel or the boys have a chance to look back at us.
We were gone.
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