---- [W -> D] ----
D: What are you?!
W: A idiot sandwich
----
W: Why aren't you wearing a shirt?
D: Cause it's hot
W: It snowed yesterday
----
W: You follow Satan on twitter?
D: You don't?
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D: Assassination: a nation that is sassy
W: No-
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W: My heart says yes but my bank balance says no
D: Do you even have a bank balance?
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D: There are seven wonders of the world and I am three of them
----
W: American but Amerishouldn't
D: The election is ALREADY OVER
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D: I swear to god Italy is the cutest thing
W: What are you talking about? Romano is best boy
D: At least Germany agrees with me
----
W: I guess there are some problems that can be solved with the power of fashion
D: You're damn right- now shut up and work that runway
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D: I am here with the stunningly beautiful...
D: Myself
----
W: FACT: Adding '3000' to anything make it 200 times cooler
D: Wally3000
W: ...
D: Hm, nothing changed
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D: I am putting a ribbon in my hair to raise awareness of me looking so cute
----
D: Stop being so defensive I am just trying to hit you with weapons
----
W: A baby's laughter is one of the best sounds you will ever hear
W: Unless it's 3AM
W: And you're alone
W: And you don't have a baby
----
D: I'm at that age where I only have one thing on my mind
W: Guys?
D: Homicide
----
W: Let's play a game called you bring me food and I eat it
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D: I once killed a man in his sleep with his own mustache and a grape
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W: Last night I had a dream where scientists used a really bad picture of me to prove that humans are closely related to goats and I was so insulted when I woke up
D: Have you watched the news lately?
W: No, why?
D: No reason
----
D: I'm cute as hell, which is incidentally where I came from
----
W: I may act like I'm tough but if your mean to me there is a 900% chance I will cry
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D: If I ever got the power to turn invisible the first thing I would do is go to France and beat up a mime
W: They would think he was the best performer of all time
D: And I would get to beat up a mime
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W: My 9 year old cousin got a bad burn on her hand and as she was crying she placed her hands over my heart and goes "ahhh, so nice and cold."
D: I want to meet this child
D: Now
----
D: My eyebrows are the source of all my power
W: I thought that was your ass?
D: No, my ass is the source of all the power
----
D: I'm not a bitch I'm the bitch
----
W: Who needs April fools when your entire life is a joke
----
D: Puppies are touchable happiness
W: Someone needs to get you a dog
----
W: Dick?
D: What?
W: Where's my uniform?
D: What?
W: Where. Is. My. Uniform?!
D: I put it away
W: WHERE?
D: Why do you need to know?
W: I need it!
D: Uh-uh! Don't you think about running off and doing stupid shit with James and Hartley! We've been planning this dinner for two-weeks!
W: The city is in danger!
D: My evenings in danger!
W: You tell me where my uniform is, Dick! We are talking about the greater good!
D: "Greater good'?! I am your best friend! I'm the greatest GOOD your ever gunna get!
----
D: Do re mi fa so done with you
W: Did you just tell me off through a musical scale?
---- [The Three Muskequeers] ----
W: What has four letters and is hard
R: Rock
D: Dick
R: Math
D: Life
W: That got real deep real fast
---- [W -> D] ----
D: Isn't it weird that we pay money to see other humans?
W: Are you talking airplane tickets, prostitution, or the movies?
D: Glasses
----
W: 6 was afraid of 7 because 7, 8, 9 but why did 7 eat 9?
D: Because you're supposed to eat 3 square meals a day
----
D: If I make you breakfast in bed a smile and "thank you" will suffice, none of this "How did you get in my house?" Stuff. So rude.
----
W: Do you feel guilty?
W: Like- at all?
D: I don't have time to and neither do you
----
D: I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong
----
W: Where is death when you need it?
D: On vacation
D: Lazy bitch
----
D: Anything that requires more than 6% effort
D: Dickie ain't gunna do it
----
W: We have five people trying to kill us right now, what are we supposed to do?!
D: Actually it's more like eight
W: Oh, sorry I wasn't specific enough!
----
D: Want to see what kind of trouble we can get into?
W: Oh god, we're going to die aren't we?
D: It's a Tuesday, I know how to restrain myself
W: You absolutely do not
----
W: You forgot me
D: It was an accident
----
D: Hey, I didn't kill anyone today!
W: What do you want, a gold star?
D: What? No, of course not
D: I want a victim
----
W: Why are you so much better at drinking than I am?
D: Lets be real, I'm better than you at everything
W: You have a point
----
D: Oh, look at all the pretties!
W: Can you please stop talking about assault rifles the same way you talk about kittens?
----
W: I'm getting really tired of watching you get thrown off of high places
D: How do you think I feel?!
----
D: You know, no one bothered me this much when I was dead
----
W: You-you are-
D: Beautiful, a genius, immensely talented-
W: Dangerous
----
D: I am either going out for ice cream or to commit another felony
D: I'll decide in the car
----
W: I never stood a chance did I?
D: That's the sad part, you did- once
----