A/N: As with all my stories, it will start off a little bit slow, I'm sorry but I swear it'll get into things! :D Enjoy!
***
Nalini wasn't a strong person. She had always been sensitive, even if she tried not to show it. Tried, being the key word. It never worked because she would always end up acting childishly. It was a flaw of hers that she could never get rid of.
Her dark flaw stood out in that moment where she stared down at her grandfather with tears streaming down her cheeks.
In the years that they had 'looked after' one another, this was the first time he had fainted and she couldn't help but worry immensely at how pale and lifeless her grandpa looked. And no matter how many times she showed her love and had been there for him, he still despised her and blamed her for her parents' death.
Nalini knew what had happened back then wasn't her fault, but he had never given her the benefit of the doubt.
He showed his hate through abuse; he never touched her, but he never missed a day without verbally attacking her. From her body to her face to her life and future—it was all mocked by him.
Sometimes, when she got really mad and fired back at him, he would go as far as to lock her out the front door and not give her food for that day.
It was only until recently that the abuse stopped, for some strange reason. She was kind of afraid that he was planning something, but she didn't think her grandpa was that evil.
Her eyes bounced back to her his figure when he began to stir. When his eyes opened and settled on her face, his relaxed face, tensed and his eyes narrowed.
She tried to ignore the sharp glare he was sending her way and spoke.
"How are you now, grandpa?"
Ignoring her, he pushed himself up on the hospital bed.
She hurriedly stepped forward to help him sit up, but he snatched his hands away from hers and turned his body away as if her presence repulsed him. The reaction caused a sharp jab in her heart and she slowly withdrew her hands, eyes burning.
Nalini, instead, settled on analysing his face as he stared down at his lap, his hands shaking. He looked horrible; he had dark circles under his eyes and his body was thinner than a twig. His face was a sickly grey in colour.
"Grandpa?" she asked, her voice softly wavering with doubt.
"Don't call me that," came the hoarse voice emanating bitterness. "I stopped becoming your grandfather the moment you killed them, you stupid child."
Nalini ignored that. She resisted the urge to reach out and grip her grandpa's hand, to hold it tight. Even though he was abusive with his words and neglected her many times, she didn't want to lose the only family she had left in her life.
As the door to the room opened, a petite nurse walked in. Nalini immediately looked over at her, in hopes of hearing something good about her grandpa's condition. The nurse's mellow eyes met hers.
"There's no need to worry, honey," she said as Nalini began to fidget, "he's completely fine and he's good to go home right away."
Her shoulders sagged in relief and she let out a deep breath, her tight muscles loosening up almost instantly. She was almost certain that the nurse was going to say the complete opposite of what she actually said.
But what came out of her mouth brought great relief to her because if something had happened to him, she wouldn't know what to do–she would be left alone in that dark house, or even be made to fend for herself out in the streets.
She did care about him, but truthfully she only partly liked her grandpa, and that part was very small. That wasn't to say that she hated his very being or anything; it was the things he said and did that caused distance between them. She didn't want to dislike her grandpa at all.
But even despising him was hard because she would become guilty right after for feeling the way she did. So, she always did her best to not yell or fire back at him when he got angry.
Which was practically every day.
Nalini was shaken out of her reverie when the nurse had told her to step outside for a little while. Her slow gait and heavy eyes finally registered in her mind. She hadn't realised just how exhausted she was until then.
She had rushed to the hospital right after her classes finished and had to wait an hour or so to hear about her grandpa's condition, which was infuriating.
Nalini sank her teeth into her bottom lip as she flopped into the chair outside his room. Weariness took over and clobbered her very being and she leaned her head against the wall.
Soon, the nurse opened the door and her grandpa limped out the door, changed from the hospital gown to his usual brown cotton shirt and lungi.
He refused to even look at her.
He still refused to look at her even when Nalini shot up from her chair and held onto his arm. He flinched at the contact, but said nothing.
After talking to the nurse and signing a sheet on a clipboard, Nalini guided her grandpa slowly out of the hospital. Immediately as she stepped out, the cool air that had blanketed them in the hospital had left and was replaced by the familiar heat and humidity of Kerala.
It seemed to coil around her body and cling to her skin, making her uncomfortable. Though she had lived here her whole life, she had never gotten used to the weather and most likely never would.
Though, she had to admit: she didn't sweat as much as the tourists did when they came to visit—they would be completely drenched and she would always resist the urge to giggle, feeling slightly bad for them.
Almost instantly as they got out of sight, her grandpa shook her hands off of him and walked ahead causing a sigh to escape from Nalini's lips.
She flagged down an auto-rickshaw and climbed in, relishing the way the wind that came with the speed of the auto, slapped her face and cooled her down.
Turning her head, she noticed her grandpa deep in thought and disregarding the fact that he was sweating profusely. Adjusting her position, she tried to gesture to him that he could take her spot.
"I don't need your pity," he spat.
"Grandpa, I wasn't–"
"If you call me that one more time, I will make you sleep outside." He glared at her viciously. "Do you want a repeat of last night?"
Nalini clenched her jaw, trying hard to not cry or say anything in return. Instead, she shook her head softly and played with the loose ring on her finger. He sighed and massaged his forehead with shaky hands.
She bit down on her tongue, trying to refrain from defending herself. She knew he was a man of his word and that it wasn't just a mere threat.
The air hung heavy with tension before it was sliced through by his voice.
"What do you think about marriage?"
The sudden question startled her. Her eyebrows knit together, causing an evident crease between them. He wasn't looking at her. Rather, he was looking out at the scenery as they went past.
"Marriage?" she repeated, chest tightening at the thought. Just the word carried responsibilities beyond anything she knew. "I think marriage is both wonderful and sacred. Why?"
A few seconds of silence passed.
"I've been thinking about this for a while and I've come to a decision." He turned to face her with dark eyes. "You're twenty-three years old. I don't want to look after you any longer, having to be reminded of your parents' deaths all those years ago. I think it's time you get married; you can be their problem from now on."
Nalini's eyes widened and a strangled gasp escaped her lips. She couldn't believe that he had said that, even though she knew she shouldn't be too surprised.
It was a very grandpa thing to have said, but it still pained all the more. Plus, she didn't want to get married so soon–she was still studying and her mother's dream was for her to finish college and get a degree.
She also didn't want to leave her grandpa alone; he was abusive, but he was, unfortunately, still her grandpa and elderly.
"But if I get married, you'll be all alone," she said, frowning down at her trembling hands. The mere thought of her getting married suddenly caused cold shivers to run down her spine.
He snarled, ignoring the auto driver glancing at them from the side mirrors.
"You fool, you think I need you? I'll be fine on my own," he said before adding, "And I was fine before you came along, too."
Her eyes filled with unshed tears. Her heart burned with a fire that she could not put out. It consumed her and ate at her, knowing that she wasn't ever going to be good enough for him.
The auto slowed to a stop, and after paying the driver the appropriate amount, she sluggishly led her grandpa to their house, helping him sit on the rocking chair near the front door.
Nalini went to leave when he gripped her wrist, tightly. She looked down at him with wide eyes as she struggled to free her wrist, fear in her heart that he was going to insult and hurt her yet again.
The ring on her finger slid off as she struggled to get rid of his grip on her. But he paid her no mind and stared out at the garden in contemplation.
"You will get married, Nalini. I don't want to hear no for an answer." His furious eyes shifted to look at her. "Understand?"
Panic began to seize her insides and she took a frantic step towards her grandpa, trying to make him see reason. Why now? She wanted to know what brought this on.
"What...what if I get a job, grandpa? I-I can support both of us."
He shook his head furiously. "You think it's about support? What an idiotic child. It's about getting rid of you," he said, with no remorse.
A new layer of hurt overtook her senses and defeat came over her as she stared helplessly at her grandpa. His dark eyes held hatred as they looked into her own.
"I–"
"I heard Mahesh is looking for a wife." He looked up at Nalini who had frozen in her spot. "He's a great deal older than you, but he will do. I don't think anyone else would want you." When he turned away from her with a cruel scoff, she knew that that was the end of the conversation.
Mahesh?
That man always hung around her college campus whenever she and Esha finished their classes for their day. Somehow he knew the classes she attended and always stood near the entrance, waiting for her to come out.
Nalini shuddered at the prospect of being his wife. She couldn't comprehend the bizarre situation. It had happened so suddenly, and without warning, too. Marriage was holy and sacred–a topic that wasn't meant to be talked about lightly or rushed into like this.
She stared at her grandpa with wide eyes and a slack jaw. She could feel the tears fill up in her eyes as she realised that this was indeed, serious.
"B-but, grandpa, why are you saying all this?! I-I want to keep studying, please don't make me g–"
"Do not question me." He turned to her, his eyes set as cold as ice. "My decision is final."
Her whole body felt as though it was in freezing cold water and had just gotten out. She was numb, now. Without a word, she bent down and grabbed the ring that was just as unpredictable as her life currently.
She turned and walked to her room like a motionless zombie, and as soon as she sat on her bed, choked, weak sobs racked her whole being, rather than just her throat.
She was only twenty-three for goodness sakes and Mahesh was forty-seven! Her grandpa was forcing her to marry a man much older than her, and with no regret. There was no way someone could hate their own flesh and blood that much. But he did.
She couldn't wrap her head around to why he had chosen Mahesh, of all people, either.
Mahesh was also impolite, to say the least. He made crude comments, especially about women, picked at the outfits people chose to wear, her religion and seemed to always sweat profusely, drenching his shirt as if he was taking a shower in his own sweat.
In fact, he was anything but a good man. He wasn't pleasant to be around at all, and now, her grandpa wanted her to spend the rest of her life with someone like him.
The thought caused more sobs to emerge and practically heaved out of her body violently. The tears streamed into her mouth, one after the other. She furiously wiped at her cheeks and sniffled.
There wasn't much point in crying since she would end up having to go through with the marriage anyway. That particular thought caused a third heap of sobs to tumble out of her.
Taking deep breaths, in and out, she sighed and covered her face with her shaking hands. She had to do it. She wasn't courageous enough to run away, and even if she did, she'd be forced to live on the streets because she had no one else.
She had no choice. It was what it was.
***
"You know Nalini, right Mahesh?"
Two days later, and her grandpa wore a proud smile on his face as Nalini held out the tray of coffee cups out to Mahesh and his family. They all sported goofy grins as she came towards them–Mahesh, especially.
Mahesh nodded and his eyes twinkled with something devilish that stirred fear in her. Her eyes widened as he looked her up and down and licked his lips in a seductive manner—but to her, it felt as though he was sizing her up as if she was some sort of deluxe meal. She immediately tried to curb the feeling of disgust and tore her eyes away.
With a trembling hand, Mahesh picked up the coffee and placed it to his lips. Nalini held out the tray to his mother, who sat beside him, and accidentally stepped on his foot.
"Oh! I'm s–"
He suddenly jolted in shock and spat out the coffee onto her white saree, staining it brown.
She squealed and jumped back, feeling the burning sensation of the coffee seep through the fabric and to her skin.
"What do you think you're doing, you careless woman?!" Mahesh cursed, glaring up at Nalini. "You should have waited for me to finish before doing something else, stupid tool! Don't you know how to do anything?" he yelled, a frown on his rounded face.
His words struck Nalini hard and caused her to flinch. He couldn't be serious. It was an accident and he was firing at her, with everyone staying quiet as well.
She couldn't believe that he would say such a thing! She bit her lip from speaking out of turn and tried to keep herself busy by grabbing a napkin and rubbing at the burnt area, both angry and upset.
She glanced up at her grandpa though, to see if he'd say anything, but...he didn't. He barely even acknowledged how rude Mahesh was being and instead, shot an apologetic smile at them.
He shot her a menacing glare and it took everything in her to not frown or glare at him in return. Mahesh's parents said nothing either and stared at her accusingly as if what had happened was her fault.
Looking around, she felt herself cower in shame as everyone present, looked at her as if she was some sort of wild animal.
The looks she was getting was too much to bear; she felt like she couldn't breathe. Immediately, she put down the tray and ran back to her room, tears threatening to fall.
She didn't want to break down now. This was her fate. There was nothing she could do about it, and the thought only made her chest tighten even more.
But there was a growing sensation to walk back out there and curse at everyone that was present for putting her down as if she was nothing, just because she was a woman.
Mahesh had made it clear whenever she came back from college that he didn't like women who studied after marriage, and it always made her blood boil. She wanted to continue and finish her degree, for herself and for her mother.
No man was going to take that away from her.
The situation had gotten out of hand now. She never ever imagined that her grandpa would go as far as getting her married to someone as old and as rude as Mahesh, just to get rid of her–and with no regard for her feelings either.
Nothing made any sense. She threw herself on the bed, stomach down as she sighed—almost like a growl—into the pillow.
This wasn't fair.
Arranged marriages happened but forced arranged marriages definitely didn't.
Or, at least, they shouldn't.
She could still hear the slight grumblings of Mahesh outside as he lectured her grandpa but kept herself hidden in her room even after the sun-set. As the dark began to take over her room and cover any light it had left, she glanced up at the cross, placed above her bed.
Stray tears spilt over and her bottom lip trembled as she stared up at Jesus on the cross. If Jesus had died for everyone, even though the people at the time disliked him, then she should be able to do this for her grandpa, who disliked her.
Even though she didn't want to do anything for him, there was nothing else she could do. This was God's plan for her, and she was going to embrace it, no matter how much she hated it.