Thirteen
"You were out late last night." My mother sat beside me during breakfast, her eyes steadily interrogating my every move. I knew going with Mitch on a whim was going to be a bad idea. Sneaking out my window would have been less trouble than explaining why I was out so late after the barbecue.
"So?" I said, coming out more callous than I meant for it to.
"So nothing. I just thought the two of you seemed cozily acquainted with one another. I was wondering where the two of you are heading. I can tell there is some chemistry between the two of you."
"Mom, stop." Here comes the motherly lecture.
"But honey, I'm concerned. You hardly date anymore, as far as I know, and this amazing guy comes along that you obviously are attracted to. I'm worried that you're straying away for some reason. Are you scared?" She probably wants him to stay with me so he can cook for her. My guess.
"No, I'm not scared. He should be scared, if anything; I'm a mess to deal with. I'm trying to be subtle, and I don't want to rush into anything when I don't know how he feels." I couldn't talk to Laurie, and Brett wasn't much help in the love department. Mom was all I had at the moment.
"Dani, the man spent a whole evening here with you and your mom. He adores you." She smiled, digging her french toast into a syrup cup and elgantly placing it into her mouth.
"You think so? I don't understand why he would like me and not Laurie. Laurie is amazing and beautiful, and he didn't seem phased when she broke up with him. Oh, did I forget to mention they dated? Why would he trade bacon for a coleslaw like me?" I slipped up, big time. My mom didn't seem at all bothered that I was dating Laurie's leftovers, and I assume it was because it was nothing unheard of. In a small town, men go around for the taking. But that wasn't me...I had never liked any one of Laurie's men...
"Mitch knows Laurie is a great girl, but his eyed are focused on you. You're pretty special, too, if you hadn't noticed."
"You're saying that because you're my mom."
"And because I'm your mom, I'm the only one who's going to be upfront about how special you are. There's no one you should trust more than your mother; everyone else is just too jealous to say it or too shy to say it."
"Thanks, Mom." I meant it.
"Don't thank me, honey. But I have a hunch a certain someone will be saying the same thing about you pretty soon. He's definitely thinking it." I was beginning to think she liked Mitch more than I did. Never did she encourage any of my relationships like this one. She wasn't even very fond of Brett being around me alone, and he didn't like me one bit!
"I'll take your word for it. Welp, as much as I'd like to finish this lovely converation, someone put me on grocery duty." I complained.
"Hey, you have to pay your way around here." She said.
"Uh huh. You mean you hate shopping and this is a good excuse?" I teased, going across the kitchen and into the foyer, looking into the wall mirror at my reflection before walking out, only to wish I never had.
The wicked claws of fate and chance had me in its grasp, and I briefly wondered if this was God's way of a sick joke. There, in his prestinely ironed white coat and scrub shoes stood Travis Garver, and to his right was the furious face of Mitch Moncotto suited in the same black leather jacket I had once borrowed. They were polar opposites, and yet they never looked so much alike as the two men stared back at one another like deer waiting to see who was going to buck first. Give them a robe and some boxing gloves and people will line up with money to bet on a winner. My money would be on Mitch, if I had to choose. Okay, bad time to think about this.
"What are you doing here?" Not knowing who I was speaking to, both boys spoke simultaneously, Mitch getting the upper hand with the vibrations of his voice deep enough to crack the floor beneath me.
"Your mom told me to return the dish from the leftover burgers I brought home." Looking at the tupperware placed in both his hands, I nodded my head with understanding. At least he had an excuse.
"Wait, you were here before?" Travis' voice caught in his throat.
"Yeah, got a problem with that? Why are you here, buddy? Seems like the lady doesn't want you here after your show the other day. Hey, if you're giving out kisses, my fist is there for the taking." Mitch said bluntly, his body language all but shaking Travis' calm facade.
"Thank you for your kind offer, but I got it from here, Mitch. Would you give Travis and me a second?" I asked him nicely, but regardless, the blue daggers from Mitch were not giving me the permission I asked for. Nonetheless, I stepped off of my porch and pulled Travis to the side, giving him a chance to speak while Mitch watched our every, waking move with darting eyes, similar to the smoldering look Edward gives to Bella when she's being asked to the prom...except Mitch couldn't hear anything...
"What is it, Travis? I'm on my way out so I don't have long."
"I'm sorry...you know what...I'm not sorry..." He chuckled to himself, pulling out his hands and slapping them on his coat as if he had given up.
"Come again?" I was totally confused.
"I'm sorry for apologizing. All I've done is apologize since you've gotten here. I thought about it, thought about why I might have kissed you, and then it hit me. I was never attracted to you at all, and don't get me wrong, you are beautiful, but I knew I wasn't ready to move on after my engagement. So the answer of why I kissed you finally came to me. It was my need for forgiveness from you. I wanted to do anything and everything to make myself and you forget what I've done to your brother, and I felt the need to protect you from further harm, and for some reason, I panicked and threw myself on you in hopes the pain would go away. I thought saying sorry would have been enough, but unconsciously I was still begging for forgiveness."
"But that doesn't explain why you kissed me." I said, trying to understand what he was talking about.
"Yes, it does, don't you see? I was overcome with shame from your brother's misdiagnosis, and I thought if I got close to you, you'd forget all about what I've done, and if I kissed you, somehow all the hate, and the guilt, would go away. But I don't want to do that anymore. I know that I'm still a good guy and I hope you see that; I hope I see that overtime. Kissing you was no ploy, no game with a fixed ending; it was a poor decision and it won't happen again, but I'm done saying sorry."
This whole situation reminded me of the day Mom left me at the supermarket and for the next week, guilt had overcome her as she tried to make up for it, buying me whatever I wanted and cuddling me to show me, and herself, she was a good person. In some ways, that reminded me of Travis' situation. He wanted the guilt to go away.
"Travis, you are a good guy. I see it, I do, and in time you'll stop questioning your self." I smiled, finally putting two and two together and understanding where he came from. Reese would have wanted me to forgive, and I was fully giving every ounce I had to move on.
"Thank you for letting me speak without judgement. I needed to clear things up about the kiss. Hopefully from now on, there won't be any scandals between us."
"You know how the rumor mill is; I can't promise you that." He chuckled and backed away to leave, looking at a dangerous Mitch one last time before leaving. Both didn't say a word to one another, to my relief.
"So what was that?" Mitch asked as the other man left.
"You're quite nosy, Mitch." I folded my arms together, prolonging the truth just to watch him squirm.
"Damn right. What did he want?" He asked, walking closer to me and out of the beating sun.
"To tell me we should start dating." Oj, the look on his face was priceless.
"What?! Are you..."
"Stop, stop." I grabbed onto Mitch's tense shoulders, forcing him to look at me and notice I was joking.
"He didn't ask me that. Wow, you really couldn't hear anything, could you?"
"Then what did he want?" He asked, his shoulders slumping back down to normal and his face a smidge less wrinkled from concern.
"He came to tell me the kiss was a big mistake."
"Huh, so I was right; he was drunk. The dude had some stagger in his walk and I assumed he had been throwing back bottles, but now I know for sure." He said.
"What does drinking have to do with this?"
"Well, for Travis to say the kiss was a mistake, he must not have been in his right mind."
Kill me and bring me back to life! I couldn't believe Mitch had just said that.
Mitch's hands grabbed onto my sweaty palms that had settled against his shoulder, rubbing circles against my skin before peeling them away.
"Mitch..."
"I should probably go; I'm sure you're busy. I set the dish on the porch swing so don't forget it." He can pretend as if nothing happened, like he wasn't caressing my hands just a moment ago, but the tingling senses against my skin said otherwise. That was no friendly caress, but I couldn't stop him from pretending it was.
"Okay, thanks." I grumbled, watching him take off and forcefully wave goodbye, all the while in excruciating misery that I didn't tell him how I felt when he grabbed my hands.
Later that evening, sulking was not an option because I had Brett and Laurie over for game night while my mother visited some of her own friends. I didn't have the luxury of thinking about the lingering fingers of Mitch Moncotto, much to my displeasure.
"It's your turn!" Brett and Laurie were going next, as I was taking a break watching the two play.
Laurie sat across from Brett on the couch, her black hair pulled into a ponytail behind a set of soundproof headphones used for the game. Brett had to repeat his set of crazy sentences until Laurie guessed it right or gives up, then vice versa, and whoever finished with the most correct sentences wins.
"You are a hoe." Brett took his time mouthing the words to Laurie, who was clueless as to what he was saying.
"You borrowed my coat." She guessed, only to receive a fit of laughter from Brett and me.
"You are a hoe..."
"You are a goat?"
"Hoe."
"Boat?"
"Hoe."
"Hoe! You are a hoe! Ugh, jerk!" Took her a while to get that one.
I had to cover my head to dodge the pillows that were flying from Laurie's hand and out toward Brett and me.
"Okay, sorry. Let's switch, alright? I'll put on the headphones and then Dani can join in." Brett suggested.
"Oh no, I'm wiped out. I'm deaf from the loud music from the headphones." I told him.
"You sure? You've been kinda zoned out. Is it because of Mitch?" Damn Brett and his loud stage voice! Laurie turned, taking off the headphones and looked directly toward me. I was hoping she wouldn't have took those headphones off yet, but by the looks of it, she heard everything.
"What's he talking about?" She asked.
"Oh, nothing. Brett, you know that Mitch and Laurie broke it off. Why would anything have to do with Mitch?" Brett frowned apologetically, and clearly did not take too kind of my lying. Laurie would freak if she knew I was talking to Mitch, and Brett knew that, but he also knew being honest was the best policy. I guess I was throwing policy out of the window.
"You're right. My mistake." He said, playing along no matter the lies. There we go; that's my favorite actor!
"So you haven't seen him recently?" She asked.
"Uhm..." I felt terrible for lying, but if Laurie knew the truth, Mitch would no longer be in my life, and I couldn't let him go. He was my addiction, and I'll be damned if I'm going to therapy for this.
"Nope, not at all."