Hey guys, I'm back for another update! I took a while, but I finally found some time to finish this chapter this morning. I have to say though, the updates won't get any more frequent in the future though sadly. I just came back from training for my new job and I'll be moving to Austria in two weeks to work there this winter as a ski&snowboard instructor. I'm really looking forward to that, I'm super stoked, but it means my writing will have less priority. I still intend to keep writing though! Oh well, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Let me know what you think :D
'Guys, excellent job!' Christian Horner had made his way from the pit wall to the garage and was shaking hands with everyone.
'That was a close one boys,' Adrian Newey added to that when he appeared from behind the team principal. He slapped Christian on his back and it was obvious they couldn't be happier with the 1-2 for the team in qualifying.
The garage was filled with happy faces and some of the team members were still looking at the screens to see the drivers lining up their cars in parc fermé and climbing out to get weight. A few mechanics rushed out of the garage to take care of their cars when they got parked in the pit lane and others were already starting to pack up.
'Thanks for not screwing this up, I much prefer it when we don't have all these sulking grown men around us,' Macy had made her way over to Keira who was still sitting on her chair where she had been all session.
Keira looked up from the sheets with data she had been studying and stretched her arm out for a high five, which Macy enthusiastically answered. 'Seb's not going to be happy though,' she answered while she rolled her eyes. She couldn't hide a smile though, as Seb was super adorable when he was annoyed.
Macy grinned and jumped on the chair next to Keira. 'I can't blame him though, it was so close. He was first in Q1 and Q2, so naturally you expect to be first in the last session as well,' she said. 'To make it worse, it being your team mate who beats you to pole is even worse,' she added.
Their conversation got interrupted when the whole garage started clapping, so they turned around to see what was going on. They already knew without looking though, as it had became a tradition to clap when the pole sitter entered the garage. Keira noticed that Mark looked extremely smug and she knew exactly why. From what she had heard around here Mark often didn't feel as loved as Seb in the team and he had been quite vocal about that in the past. So to out-qualify Seb must feel immensely satisfying. He looked even taller than he already was when he walked around to thank everyone for the results.
Keira's eyes then spotted a second figure entering the garage and he as well was congratulated by the team. A smile spread across her face when she saw Seb getting the recognition he deserved, even though she could see the disappointment linger in his eyes. Suddenly their gazes locked while being on opposite sides of the garage. Feeling embarrassed by the way her heart jumped because of that she felt blood creep up to her cheeks. Apparently Seb could see that from this distance as he raised his eyebrows and then winked, causing Keira's cheeks to feel even hotter than they already were.
Macy in the mean time looked quite unsure, she could see what was going on between them and instead of cracking her usual jokes about everything, she kept quiet. Deep down Keira knew why, but she wasn't able to make herself care about why exactly at this moment. Whenever Seb was around a kind of fog appeared in her head and caused all kind of trouble when it came to decision making and remembering what has happened before this moment. The only thing that stood out clearly where his bright blue eyes and the way his soft pink lips curved when he smiled.
'Keir, what are you doing? You'll only get hurt,' Macy had leant into Keira and she almost whispered these words. Not that it was needed with the buzz that was still present in the garage.
Keira turned her head towards her colleague and could see the pleading in her eyes. She swallowed and fixed her eyes on the floor. 'I don't know what I'm doing, but even then I don't know how to stop,' she answered. If it was up to her, she would have gotten up and run away, grabbing Seb's hand in the process and drag him along. Not possible of course.
She ignored the way Macy was looking at her and pulled her phone from her pocket. Three new messages. She hadn't even felt her phone vibrate. They were from Abby and Tom of course, but even her father had send her a message. She smiled, he was the one that had introduced her to Formula 1, so it was very special to share this experience with her father. He had just texted that he was proud of her and that without her Red Bull would have qualified last. She chuckled, she knew that wasn't true, but still it felt good to hear her father say it.
'If you could have come up with a better plan, I would have been on pole.'
She looked up from here phone and almost got lost in his eyes. That twinkle got to her every time. It also showed that he wasn't accusing her of anything, just teasing her. She loved that, the way he teased her. Nobody was allowed to do that, but for some reason she didn't mind if he did it. Hell, she even liked it.
'Well, if you just had driven a little bit faster you would have been on pole,' she retorted and shot him her sweetest smile. She tried her best not to laugh at her own joke.
For a second the smile disappeared from Seb's face, but he recovered quickly. 'Well, if you had made sure the car had a better set-up, I would have been able to,' he said while he high fived one of the mechanics that walked past them.
'Mark did alright though with the set-up he got,' Macy chipped in into the conversation. She tried to look innocent, but Keira could see that it was maybe more meant as an insult than a joke.
'Too bad he can't do that more often,' he winked at Macy and then turned his attention back on Keira.
'You seem a lot more cheery than I expected,' she admitted and she started to gather her papers.
He shrugged his shoulders. 'Oh well, I out-qualified Fernando and Lewis starts in between us. So it could have been a lot worse.'
'Like Fernando rear-ending you tomorrow,' Macy had gotten up from her chair, but clearly couldn't let this one go. She was biting her lip when trying not to laugh at the expression that had appeared on Seb's face.
Seb didn't even know what to respond and when he seemed to finally have thought of something, Macy had already disappeared.
'She got you,' Keira grinned as she put the last of her stuff into her bag. It wasn't as organised as she would like, but it'll do for the day. She would have to look at some more data tonight anyway.
Seb sighed and closed his eyes for a second. 'You'll never know what to expect with her,' he said and he followed her movements with his eyes. 'She's been like this the day she arrived at the team, she scared quite a few of the guys,' he huffed while he remembered that time.
'She's awesome though,' Keira defended her friend. Yes, she was very close to being an unguided projectile, but she was always straight forward and honest, what Keira admired in her. Sometimes she wished she could be more like Macy, not being held back my self-doubt and fear to fail. She slipped of her chair and looked around if she had forgotten anything.
'Not as awesome as you, though,' Seb whispered in Keira's ear and he had taken a step to get closer to her. They were both leaning against the table now and for an outsider it would look like a casual conversation, but they both knew it was far more than that.
Keira was sure that her face now could be mistaken for a tomato and she quickly looked around the garage to see if someone had noticed. Of course they hadn't, because everyone was busy packing up already. The freight needed to be flown out as soon as possible, which meant that as soon as the cars crossed the finish line, the garage turned back to life with pieces of cars and furniture scattered everywhere. Although the place was full of activity, Keira could only focus on one thing. The way Seb was looking at her right now, while slightly biting his bottom lip and even if she wanted to look away, she knew she couldn't. Her breath caught in her throat when Seb stretched out his hand and with visible affection put back a strand of hair behind her ear. The delicate touch of his fingers on her skin made her shiver and although the moment was brief, it felt like it lasted for hours. She closed her eyes, to try and recall the moment and a warm feeling spread through her body. Only the sound of a phone ringing brought her brutally back to the present.
'Hey,' Seb answered his phone with a bright smile when he noticed who was calling. The person on the other side of the phone was clearly excited, as even Keira could hear the female voice while standing a metre away. 'Yeah, it was very close, it could have easily gone my way,' he said and for a moment the corners of his mouth drooped a little.
Keira in the mean time finished tidying up her work place, while keeping an ear on Seb's conversation. He was explaining how qualifying went and where he felt he could have made up more time. She smiled to herself when she noticed him using his hands to explain, even though the person on the other side of the phone couldn't see it of course. He didn't seem to notice and that was what made it so adorable. He was leaning nonchalantly against the wall, but the frown between his brows showed he was concentrating on explaining every little detail. Keira was sure that the person on the other side of the phone had no clue what he was on about for half of the time, but that didn't seem to bother any of them in the slightest.
'Yes, I'm really looking forward to coming home again tomorrow,' Seb said after a short silence. He ran his fingers through his hair and let out a sigh, he suddenly looked tired. 'I've missed you too,' he added. Even though he had rubbed his eyes and yawned, the fondness with which he had spoken those words hadn't got lost.
This caught Keira's attention, she felt her whole body tensing up. She hadn't paid much attention to who he was on the phone with, but of course it was Hanna. Suddenly the joy that she had felt since the end of qualifying made place for a feeling of defeat. When she looked out of the garage the sunlight had gone and thick grey clouds were now casting a shadow over the racetrack.
'Of course, I haven't forgotten. You know I won't,' Seb grinned and he was playing with the sleeves of his race suit, which he had wrapped around his hips. 'Ok, I'll talk to you later. I love you too,' and with those words he hung up the phone. He shook his head while still looking at his phone and a small smile was playing on his lips.
The last four words were still resonating in Keira's head. I love you too. She felt tears welling up and although she knew she had no reason to be upset by this, she couldn't help herself. It felt like a knife was stabbed between her ribs and someone had ripped her heart out of her chest. She had difficulties breathing and she didn't dare turn around, as Seb would see how upset she was. She couldn't show weakness, she shouldn't show weakness. Without thinking what she was doing she grabbed her stuff, almost forgetting her jacket in the process and pushed herself past other team members. Someone was calling her name, but she didn't react. She needed to get out, now. It took a lot of effort to keep her composure and as soon as she exited the garage, tears were streaming down her face.
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She was now hiding in the women's toilet in RBR's hospitality. One of the only upsides of the lack of women working in the team, the toilets were a perfect place to get a moment to yourself with only a small change of someone you know running into you. She was resting her hands on the sink and looked up to her reflection in the mirror. The poor lighting enhanced her swollen red eyes and she was sure that her skin wasn't this white normally. When she looked down at her hands she noticed they were shaking and she grabbed the sides of the sink even tighter. She focussed on her breathing to get it back under control and after a few minutes she was able to get a grip on herself again. She let go of the sink and opened the tap to splash some water on her face. The cold water on her skin made her gasp for air, but she loved how it made her feel something else than pain for a moment. As if that moment with Seb in the garage wasn't bad enough. Life was so determined to make her miserable, that is was hard to keep fighting. She looked at the phone that was laying on the edge of the sink and she felt the sudden need to flush it through the toilet. This needed to stop.
The door of the toilets swung open and sudden bright light filled the tiny space. 'Hey, there you are,' Macy said slightly surprised when she noticed who was standing by the sink. 'What's going on?' she added when she spotted Keira's reflection in the mirror. She sounded worried and without waiting for an answer she pulled Keira into a hug.
She didn't know what to say and just let her friend put her arms around her. It was exactly what she needed right now and she was grateful that she was here. Sometimes she didn't know what she wanted herself and that frustrated her. On one hand she wanted to be left alone and on the other one she wanted to be seen.
With a soft movement Macy detached herself from Keira, so that she could look her in the eyes. 'Keir, talk to me. What happened? Half an hour ago you were all smiles and now you're like... this,' she ended hesitantly, as if she was afraid to insult her friend.
Without saying anything Keira pointed at her phone. The look on her face gave away what she wanted to say, but couldn't put into words. When Macy looked at what Keira was pointing at, it dawned on her what must be going on. She whistled through her teeth and her eyes darkened.
'Do you mind?' Macy asked while her hand hovered about the still innocent looking phone.
Keira shook her head and for some reason couldn't tear her eyes away from the phone. She braced herself for the reaction of her friend, as she knew it wouldn't be pretty. After a moment of silence where Macy was reading the message, a sharp intake of breath that followed confirmed just that.
'For fuck's sake Keir, this has to stop. He can't do this to you,' Macy's voice was trembling, the anger almost making it impossible for her to keep her voice under control. She looked at the phone in her hand as if it was something disgusting. 'That guy's got some balls. If I could get my hands on him,' she said through gritted teeth.
Macy handed back the phone to Keira, but the message was still visible on the screen. Keira did her best not to look at it, but her eyes kept being drawn back to the mass of words that had caused her so much pain. With every word she read again, the knot in her stomach tightened.
Unknown - Not responding to my last message? How impolite. I thought you were raised better. If you don't reply this time, I'll have my methods to make sure you reply next time. Don't worry about that love ;)
The phone got pulled from her hand again and the screen was locked immediately.
'That's enough Keir, no point of torturing yourself even more,' although still sounding angry, Macy's voice was now soft and clear. 'What you need is a distraction from all of this. Looking at that message and getting yourself all worked up about it won't change anything and you need your focus for the race tomorrow.'
Keira looked up at her friend and although of course she was right, she didn't know what possible could get her mind off this. With everything that she did she was reminded of David, or Seb for that matter.
'Jenson and I are having dinner tonight, you can join us. We're going to the restaurant in the hotel, so you don't have to go outside, but at least you won't be alone in your room.'
'I don't want to interrupt your date with Jenson,' Keira began. She was looking back in the mirror again, to fix the shirt she was wearing and her hair. 'I mean, you already don't see a lot of each other.'
Macy smiled and leant back against the wall. 'Don't worry, we will have enough time alone later in his room,' she winked.
That made Keira chuckle and she shot her friend a knowing smile. She had to agree, it felt nice to be able to smile again. Maybe having dinner with them wasn't such a bad idea. 'Ok, I'll come,' she agreed.
A big smile appeared on her friend's face. 'That's my girl!' she said proudly. 'Let's get out of here then.' She hooked her arm through Keira's and both girls smiled when leaving the toilet.