No one came back to the room at 4, so I just left. That didn't matter though, but I went and changed so my parents wouldn't know. Walking home, I gave myself another pep talk. I needed to keep some sanity, pretend that the innocent little girl they knew was there. And no one else stole her place. Dressed like an angel. I was placed in the same situation as yesterday. The usual. I reached the door, smiling like I had the best day of my life. Walking in, Kade came running towards me.
"Terra!"
"Hi, what are you doing today?" I kneeled down to his height.
"I was watching the...um... I forgot," He seemed puzzled, scratching his blond hair, his smile slowly fading. He shook his head, his grin returning, "Make me food! I'm hungry!"
"Okay, okay. What do you want?" I booped his nose. His nose crinkled up and his eyes shut.
"Ah! I wanna eat pancakes!"
"But you ate pancakes this morning!" I countered. Well, he probably did. I actually didn't know, but he usually does.
"Pancakes! Pancakes! Pancakes! Pancakes! Pancakes! Pancakes! Pancakes! Pancakes! I want Pancakes!"
"Okay, okay, pancakes it is."
I made the batter and poured it onto the thingy that you make stuff on. I don't know what to call it. Several minutes later, I yelled out, "Kade!Your pancakes are ready!" I put them on a plate. I didn't hear a reply. I ran into the living room, nervous. My heart beating was erratically, fear creeping up me. What if his headache caused something? I am probably overthinking. "Kade!"
"Up here!"
Whew. He was fine. My shoulders untensed. I hopped upstairs, wanting to grab Kade.
"Kade! Why'd you not reply?"
"I-"
He collapsed. His tiny arms and legs, going limp. The blood froze in my veins, my eyes widening. Something was wrong. I reached for my phone and dialed 911, telling them the address and such. "You're gonna be fine.You're gonna be fine." I repeated over and over again. I can't have more people leave me. I'm broken as it is. Waiting for the ambulance was torture, his heart was faintly beating, but apprehension filled my mind. I could hear the minuscule sound of the clock ticking. Tick. Tick. Tick. Anxiety stumbled into me, I wasn't able to handle holding a little boy in arms, he was looking so pale, so lifeless.
The ambulance arrived, dragging out a gurney, I think. They placed my little brother into the clutches of the stretcher. I couldn't fathom him being gone, the little light was the one of the best things that's ever happened to me. The jumpy little boy was gone.
The nurse lady that was there glanced at me as if I was a ticking time bomb, "You know you can ride in the ambulance right?"
"I can?" My eyes lit up, at least I would be there with him.
"Yep."
"Thank you so so much."
"It's my job," she smiled.
I climbed into the back of the ambulance. Staring at Kade's small face, he was too young to die. I couldn't help but think what was wrong with him. It could be a number of things. Dehydration, cancer, tumor, anything really. I prayed it was just dehydration. It was all my fault, if I wasn't stupid, I would have known and sent him to the doctor beforehand. You did this to your naive, little brother. He's not even a real one though, but you did this. You did this. You made him suffer into this fate. It's your fault. Bloody loser.
The anticipation of getting to hospital was creeping up my veins. It was taking too long. What if he died because we didn't get there fast enough? My heart literally jumped out of my chest. Okay, not literally.
We reached the hospital, the doctors rushing to get him out of the ambulance. It wasn't fair, why did he go instead of me? I sat in the waiting room, my mind rushed with feelings and emotions. My baby brother, in a white hospital bed. Suddenly, the thought came to me. I hadn't called Mom or Dad! Quickly, I dialed the phone to Mom. She was in a meeting, as I remembered.
The phone was ringing, the ring permanently embedded into my ears.
"Hello? Terra?" She called out.
"Yes, um, Mom..." I had no other route, I just had to come out and say it. "Kade's in the hospital. He passed out, so I called 911 and I really had no other choice..." I rambled on. I could hear her sobs through the phone. I knew it, she blamed me.
"It's okay..." She spoke between sobs. The pain in her voice was fluctuating. "I'm coming dear, don't worry. I'll have someone pick the twins up from class and..." She hung up.
I pulled the phone down from my ear. It was okay to cry, the little ball of sunshine, my little brother, was in the hospital. I waited and waited and waited, but the anxiousness was killing me. The waiting room taunted me, as if to say, 'Everyone you love will die here.' The doctor walked into the room and said, "Kade Powers?"
"I'm here," I said, my hands going over my face.
"What's your relation to Kade?"
"I'm his sister."
"Hi, I'm Dr. Katz." She stood there, grabbing my hand to shake it. "Okay, well, he's awake now, and we need to take an MRI to make sure nothing is wrong because his tests reveal that he wasn't dehydrated." She explained.
I nodded my head, shocked. He wasn't deprived of water, that means that there's something bigger going on. The good people I know always get taken away from me, don't they?
"You can still see him though," she lowered her eyes to my level.
I nodded my head again. I walked into the room, to see Kade on that white hospital bed. He was smiling. How could he stay so happy? Well, I guess he was five, it's not like they would tell him. A nurse left the room.
"Hey Kade,"
"Hi Terra! Did you see that nice nurse lady come in here?"
"Yeah." I laughed a little, he was so uplifted.
"You know, she said that if I let her put that needle in my arm, she would give me jello!"
"Did she now?" I asked, amused.
"Yep, she owes me jello!"
"How nice." He was just too cute.
"Okay, um, Kade, you're going to have to go in this room thingy where they make you hear loud noises."
"Ooooh fun!"
My mom rushed in the door, "Oh, sweetie! How are you? Are you better?" She examined his tiny frame.
"I'm fine, mom!" He was so bubbly.
"Hey, mom can I talk to you?"
"Sure,"
"Come here for a moment." I dragged her out of the room
"I don't think he knows the situation he's right now."
"Of course he doesn't know. He's five!" She snapped. "Sorry. It's just that I'm anxious and my baby's in the hospital. I have to check the insurance and see if they cover this. Pay for the MRI and such." She rambled on.
"I know mom, I'll watch the twins, if you don't mind,"
"That would be a great help. Thank you so much Terra!"
"Where's Dad?"
"He's at home with the twins, they don't know what's going on either."
"Okay, well, they're going to send him for an MRI sometime later, so I'll go home and watch the twins, so Dad could come here."
"Why don't we just call them to come here, after all he's their brother too."
"Yeah, that's probably a better idea,"
She called up Dad and told him to bring the twins over. They scrambled in, from the dark elevator.
"Terra!" The twins shouted. "What happened?"
"Um, well you see..." I hesitated.
"So you did kill our little brother?" Hailey interrogated.
"No!" They thought I would kill him? I wasn't even truly part of the family. You don't deserve them.I guess they were right to question me. "I didn't..." My heart clenched, they really thought I would hurt him. "I didn't do anything to him." I explained, with a cool, calm voice. "He just passed out and I panicked, so I called 911."
"Oh my gosh! Terra! I'm so sorry!" Hailey apologized. She didn't mean it. But what could I know? I was getting affected by an eleven year old. I took it as a personal affront.
"It's fine," My voice was cold, my jaw clenched, and I had to hold back from curling my fingers into fists.
Dad approached me. "Hey kiddo," he smiled, a tired smile was drawn upon his face.
"Hey Dad."
"What happened to, 'hey daddio'"? He rustled my hair.
"Nothing, just tired." I said, fixing my hair.
"Right then. Do you want to wait here after his MRI or go home?"
"I wanna stay."
"Okay kiddo."
We waited, ticks were heard all around as people played on their phones. Tick. Tick. Tick. The twins were huddled together, probably whispering things about the wellbeing of their only brother. Mom was talking on the phone to the people at the insurance company. Dad was checking his emails. I was over analyzing things.
Or was I?
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. The clock was driving me crazy. Every good thing in the world was gone. I could have just thrown away my ring. There was nothing worth living for anyways. If he died. It wasn't when, it was if. What if he got better and I was gone? What would happen then? He's not going to survive.
"Hey kiddo. Wanna get some food?" Dad asked, with the twins trailing behind him.
"Nah, I'm good. I ate before he passed out." I lied. Food was the least thing on my mind. I was fat enough as it is. But this was about Kade. Me eating, wouldn't make him any better, so I might as well not eat. He's over in the MRI room, while I'm stuffing my face? No thank you.
"You sure?"
"Yeah." I smiled a fake smile. "I'm perfectly good," He walked out with Hana and Hailey. Thank god that parents are very gullible. I was falling to pieces. More pieces than ever, crumpled and stepped on. The little boy, deserved to live his life. I would give my life, in a heartbeat, for his. A single, freaking heartbeat.
"Kade's family?" The nurse called.
"Yes?" My mother stood up, her eyes were glowing with anxiousness.
"Okay, so I'll take you to the MRI room. And you can see Kade." She stated.
We went through various halls and doors to get to the MRI room. I could sense something was wrong, otherwise, she would have said he was fine.
"Okay, I'll leave you here with Dr. Katz." She said in front of the door.
"Thank you." My mom replied.
We went into the room.
"Hello," Dr. Katz spoke, with a grim look on her face.
"Hi. Is everything okay?" Mom asked with no hold on her tongue.
"Well, I'll have to tell it to you straight,"she said. Immediately, dread filled within me. "As you can see here, there's this huge mass pushing against your son's frontal lobe..."
"He has a tumor." I whispered.
"Precisely." She stated.
"What can we do?" Mom asked, trying to put up a strong face.
"Well, there is surgery, medicine to shrink it, and so far it's grade one, so that means it's not cancerous."
"Well that's good."
I collapsed.
A/N
QOTD: If you could turn back time to fix one thing, would you?
THOUGHTS- im thinking about puppies!
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