Chapter 36
Julie's POV
"Look, Love. This looks good oh." Elmo said while showing me a baby onesie. I nodded senseless.
"Are you okay?" Alalang tanong niya at binitawan ang hawak na damit. Hinawakan niya ang braso ko at sinalat ang noo ko. "You're not sick naman. Are you okay? Nahihilo ka ba or what?"
I smiled at him. "Napakasweet naman ni Daddy. I'm fine po. May iniisip lang ako."
Kahit hindi kumbinsido at tumango na si Elmo. "Let's pay for this na tapos let's look at the cribs." Aya niya. Inalalayan niya ako the whole time na papunta kami sa crib section.
I'm on the third semester of my pregnancy. Our baby is already six months old. I've had a couple of bleeding without telling Elmo. Si Maqui lahat ang saksi. I can't tell it to him, of course. I know I am being unfair but this is the only way I can think of to lessen the pain he will feel in the future. Kapag...wala na ako.
Today, I decided to buy our baby the things he or she will need. Gusto kong gawin ng maaga ito dahil gusto kong ma-experience iyong excitement sa pagpili ng gamit ng isang ina para sa anak niya. Marami ring nakakapansin na palagi akong unconscious na napapahawak sa tiyan ko. Normal lang siguro iyon sa mga nanay.
Nanay... Ang sarap pakinggan. Sana marinig ko rin iyan mula sa bibig ng anak ko.
Sana...
"Love? You're spacing out again. Okay ka lang ba talaga?" Nabalik ako sa ulirat nang tawagin ang pansin ko ni Elmo.
"H—huh, ah, let's just buy this one na lang. Itong white para unisex." I said, ignoring his question.
Ngumiti siya at inuga-uga ang malaking crib to check it's strength. "This is perfect. I can't wait to see our little one lying in this very spot." Elmo said, picturing the thought.
He looks cute. Mukhang kinikilig sa naiisip.
"Then he or she will cry in the middle of the night, tapos magtuturuan pa tayo kung sino ang magpapafeed sa kaniya? Hahaha!" He laughed.
Hindi ko napansing nangilid na pala ang luha ko sa naririnig ko.
Maya maya pa'y lumapit naman siya sa isang walker. "This one oh. We will see our baby waddling its feet para makalapit sa atin. Oh! Oh! And this one..." Sabay lapit sa bike na may training wheels. "I'll teach him or her how to ride a bike tapos we'll head straight to the park for a picnic." He imagined with a smile on his face.
I couldn't refrain myself more from crying. I silently wiped my tears as Elmo's checking all of those things.
Maya maya pa ay may lumapit ng salesman sa amin at agad na binili ni Elmo ang white crib.
We're already on the car to go home, tomorrow pa ang deliver ng crib sa amin.
"Are you sure you don't want to know the gender of our baby?" Elmo asked, his eyes fixed on the road.
I smiled. "Yeah. I want it as a surprise sana." I said. "Kung maabutan ko pa..."
"Huh?" Elmo turned his gaze to me. I shook my head.
"Eyes on the road, Mister."
He chuckled at ginawa ang sinabi ko.
Napabuntong hininga lang ako at tinignan na lang ang dinadaanan naming through the window. Maya maya pa ay nagulat na lang ako nang mapansing iba na ang way na dinadaanan namin.
"Moe?" Nalilitong tanong ko sa kaniya.
He smiled. "Matulog ka muna. Malayo pa tayo." He said.
Hindi na ako tumutol. Nakaramdam na rin ako ng antok. I closed my eyes.
"M—momma!!" I gasped as I heard my one year old child called out for me.
"Oh my gosh! Your first word!" My eyes started to get wet. Elmo immediately went beside me.
"Erica? Did you just say Momma?" Elmo said.
"D—dadda!!!" Erica playfully said and got on her feet. It was as if she's going to stumble but she managed to stand herself up and walked clumsily towards her Kuya.
"U..ya!! U..u..ya!" She uttered and hugged her twin brother, Jax.
Jax hugged her too and rested his forehead to her sister's. Elmo and I couldn't help but to cry at the scene.
"Momma! Dada!" The two said in unison and ran their way towards us.
...
"Why are you shaking, Momma?" Jax asked in confusion. He held my hand and kissed it. "Don't be nervous, Momma. Dada won't be happy if he sees you like this." My six year old boy said.
I half smiled and caressed his cheeks. "Thank you, Jax. You're so sweet. Momma's just nervous because this is the first time Erica won't be sleeping with us."
Jax chuckled. "But she's just on a camping for her to get her last badge in girl scouting."
"I know. I hope she's fine though."
"She is, Momma. Let's just wait for dada para hindi na po ikaw mag shake." Jax kissed my forehead. He adopted this habit from Elmo. He does this even with our dog. My little buddy is really sweet.
...
"Momma! Momma! Today's Kuya's try out for the basketball! Let's watch him play, Momma!" Erica, my 12 year old daugher dragged my arms and called his Dada Elmo who's cleaning the trunk of our car.
"Dada! Let's go! We will be late for Kuya's try out!" She said excitedly.
"Hahaha! Okay, princess. I know Kuya can do it! M.V.P ata si Dada!" Elmo boasted. I elbowed him.
"Tss, maniwala ka diyan sa Dada mo!" I said to Erica and she's laughing. Music to my ears.
"Let's go na poooo!"
"Go, Kuya Jax! Go, Kuya! Go, Kuya!" Our shouts were echoing at the whole gym while waiting for Jax to shoot the ball. If he shoots this, he'll be officially a part of the school's basketball team.
Jax's gaze turned to us. He smiled and waved at us. I nodded at him, as if saying he can do this. My boy mouthed 'I love you, Momma'
He tossed the ball and.... Shoot! He got it!
"WOOOOOOOOOOH!" The three of us shouted.
"Julie? Julie?" Nagising ako sa maganda kong panaginip at nakita ng mata ko ang mukha ng asawa ko. Ang mukhang gusto ko sanang makita habang buhay...
"Elmo?" I said and hugged him tight. My tears started to fall.
"Shh.. Shh.. Stop crying na, Mommy. Look at the place.." He whispered on my ear. Kumalas siya sa yakap at pinahid ang mga luha ko. Nakita ko ang magandang ilaw ng isang night market sa Baguio. Yeah, alam kong nasa Baguio kami. Dinala niya na ako dito before I started my work as a Lawyer.
"Alam kong may bumabagabag sa iyo, that's why I brought you here. Aaliwin kita." He said and kissed my forehead. I shed another tear because I can imagine my child doing this to me... Pero hanggang imagine na lang iyon.
He held my hand and started walking towards the market. Hindi naman siksikan so pumayag na rin ako.
Bumili kami ng kung ano-ano. Binilhan ko rin si Elmo ng bahag, sabi ko sa kaniya susuotin niya iyon sa honeymoon namin. Aba sinimangutan lang ako ng loko at nagsumbong pa sa bata sa tiyan ko. Inaaway ko daw ang Daddy nila. Raulo talaga. Gahahaha.
"Mommy, may naisip ka na bang date sa kasal natin?" Elmo asked randomly. Nahiga kami sa trunk ng kotse ni Elmo matapos mamili. Nagsapin lang siya ng comforter at maraming unan. He made me rest on his chest while looking at the stars above us.
"Uhm.. puwede bang after I give birth na lang?"
"Okay, if that's what my queen wants." He said and gave me a peck on the lips.
I'm sorry, Elmo. Pero I have changed my mind. Ayaw kong makulong ka sa relasyon natin kung mamatay man ako. At least if I die unmarried to you, hindi ka mahihirapan.
We were just silent the whole time, all we can hear is the sound of the crickets and the beat of our hearts.
Ring! Ring!
Elmo's phone rang. Nakitingin rin ako sa kung sino ang tumawag. It was Lexi's number. Pinractice ko na agad kung ano ang sasabihin ko sa kaniya, masaya ko sanang ibabalita na nakabili na kami ng crib.
"Hello, Lexi?" Elmo uttered as he answered the call. Bigla siyang lumingon sa akin, he was shocked and couldn't move.
"M..moe? Anong nangyari?" Kinakabahang tanong ko nang mapaupo siya. Napaupo na rin tuloy ako.
He dropped the phone.
"Love... Lexi met an accident. Her boyfriend broke up with her so she got drunk and drove off. She was hit by a ten-wheeler truck yesterday..."
"K..kumusta ang lagay n..niya?" Nanghihinang tanong ko sa narinig.
"She woke up just now and.. she couldn't remember anything or anyone... Except... me."