Wednesday, November 1, 2017
2:35 am
He yawned, it was a split second but you caught it instantly. You paused the 15th horror movie you've watched for the night, and called him "Yoongi." "Hmm?" He hummed and tiredly looked at you through the phone. "We should get some rest." You said, turning off the laptop and slide it under the bed. Picking up your phone, you finally laid down on your back and got comfortable to get some sleep. He yawned again but he seemed restless, just like always. Yoongi showed sleepiness yet his mind always keeps him awake, he gets tired but he can't stop. He got sorted, putting away his laptop and prepared his bed too. Silence overtook the atmosphere, a very comforting and friendly silence. You just stared at him and he stared back, this was normal for you two. A hidden message in those stares, a connection that you two were too scared to say out loud.
"Thank you," Yoongi said quietly. "What for?" You asked. Sighing faintly, he rested his head on his shoulder and continued to gaze softly at you. You could feel your heart beating a bit faster. "Just for being there, even though we're strangers." He admitted after a while. "You're no stranger to me." You replied, meaning every word. "I know." "So don't call yourself that." then the silence came back.
There was a lump in your throat. You want to say something and it is just waiting for you to blurt it out. Your heart skips a beat think about it, heat starts to rise up to your cheeks. You bit your lips and nervousness and you see him looking at it and biting his, a common habit. You just have to say it and you just can't stop it anymore.
"I was scared you know? Other than the pain of you leaving me and I was angry at you for not replying, I was really scared. I didn't know what was happening you, I didn't know if I did anything wrong. I started to think that the video wasn't for me and I might have made you uncomfortable. I was scared of your health most of all, I didn't know if you were still alive. Sometimes I think I was overthinking everything but still, I was really scared Yoongi. Please don't leave me like that again." You breathe out, tears start to well up your eyes but you blink them away.
His eyes shifted, his stare looked different. This was a look that you didn't recognise. You're used to his smirks, you're used to his gummy smile. You know his blushing look and you know his lustful stares. But his gaze right now, the way his eyes turned loving, the way his sharp features became soft, the way he looks like he was in peace, you never saw that before.
"I'm really sorry Y/N. I should have known you were suffering, I should have known you have been waiting for me. I should have known that maybe you were out there actually thinking about me, I should have known you cared. I acted so selfishly, leaving you alone. Maybe it's because I'm used to bottling up my pain but now it's different. You made me realized that I am surrounded by people who have been there with me, waiting for me to open up. You made me realize that I wasn't alone at all and that I should appreciate life more. Thank you for everything." Yoongi deeply stared into your eyes, he was looking straight at the camera. Your heart pounded as you felt the sincerity of each word he said. You loved it.
3:12 am
He hesitantly sighed "Y/N...". "Yes?" Your voice was shaky and weak but on the inside, you were screaming. "I..." He began stuttering and struggling to talk. You patiently wait, your heat rising up on your face in anticipation.
"I..."