The drive back was peaceful. We didn't talk the whole way back. Which neither of us minded. He pulled into my driveway and we both got out. I walked slowly over the shop, Wheeljack is slowly walking behind me. My arms are behind my back, as I walk back in the shop, I look over at my alt mode. I take a hand and slowly run my hand over the body. "You miss being in your real body don't you?" I heard Wheeljack say behind me. I put my head down, then looked up, staring at nothing. "Yes I do. but I've been out of it for so long, that I have no idea what it would feel like to be in it again." I said to him. I felt him put his hand on my shoulder. I know its for comfort, but its not helping. "I don't even know if I'd want to go back." I say turning around and looking up at him. "I'm sure you would, I bet Ratchet will be able to fix you. Doc bot is the best medic I know." He said giving me a smile. Clearly he's trying to cheer me up. "Yeah well unless he knows. That ain't gonna happen." I say to him. "Prime will probably tell him." I figured he would. I just hope he wouldn't.
"Are you going to go back to team Prime?" I asked him wanting to change the subject. Wheeljack looked like he was in deep thought. Was it that hard to know what your going to do? "No I'm going to go do my own thing. I don't feel welcome right now with the rest of the team." He said with a shrug. "Besides I don't like to stay in one place for to long." He continued. I felt a small sting in my spark after hearing this. I'm not sure why but I felt sad, I looked at Wheeljack. He is still in his holoform, leaning against her alt form. He looked back at me, his bright blue optics, staring into mine. The pull that I have been feeling whenever I was around him, was even stronger than ever. I don't understand why. I wants to be near him always. I don't want him to leave.
Before I knew what I was doing, I had my arms wrapped around Wheeljack's waist and my helm on his chest. It took a minute before he held me back. His helm rested on mine. His servos rested on my back. I nuzzled him with my helm, which caused him to chuckle a little. We stood like this for some time in silence. It felt amazing. It felt right. I didn't want it to end. But I knew it was to good to be true. He pulled away and kissed my forehead. Heat immediately reached my cheeks. I kept looking down tell I felt it melt away. Then I looked up and smiled at him. He smiled right back at me, with that beautiful smile.
Then that smile disappeared. "I need to go." He said pulling his hands off of my waist. "What...Why?" I asked him. I didn't understand. Where did he need to go to? He didn't want to go back to team Prime. "Don't worry I'll come back. I'm just used to being on my own. And with what happened to Bulk, I need some time alone." He told me. I still didn't understand. I mean I guess I kind of understand with the needing to be alone. I've always been alone. But I thought he was happy with me. I thought we were helping each other. I guess I still don't understand anybots yet. He could tell I was thinking hard about this. "Its okay, I will be back." He put his hand on my chin and made me look up at him. Then I watched him slowly fizzle away. I reached out to try and keep him there. But he was in bot mode before I could grab him. He transformed into his bipedal mode, took one more look at me and gave me a wink. Then he walked out the shop. I couldn't move, I couldn't go after him. I felt like I did something wrong. Even though I know I didn't.
I walk over to my computers and slump into my chair. I hear Wheeljack rev his engine and take off. I feel a tear come to my optics. I quickly wipe it away. I will not let him get me down. If that is what he needs to do, then go ahead and go. If I was in his peds, I would expect the same. I ponder over these thoughts for a few more moments. I get up and walk over to my alt. The sun was starting to set now, and I was getting tired.
I toss and turn most of the night. I am usually more comfortable in my alt that an actual berth. But it was the nightmares getting the best of me. Even though I know Silas is dead. He still haunts me in my dreams. They way he looked at me with lust for information in his eyes. His smirk when he was getting what he wanted. It was sickning. He was no human. He was a decepticon in the flesh of a human. I wish I could erease it all from my processer. Unfortuantly I know that can't happen.
I was up early like normal. I just sat in the driver seat, not sure what I wanted to do. I don't really feel like doing anything. But I need to do something and keep myself busy. I get out of my alt and walk outside. Watching the sunrise. I know I've said this before, but I love the sunrises here on Earth. They are just so beautiful. How can you not like them? I lean against the opening of my home. Staring out across my land. The wide open grassy field, uneven ground from riding the dirt bike around. In some areas, the grass was getting long. I don't mow the lawn that much. I usually let it grow. Maybe that is what I can do today.
I walk back inside and walk to the opposite side of the shop from my computers. The green and yellow tractor sat near the wall. Apparently John Deere is a tractor, but its also the name of a human. This thing was harder to learn how to use than the dirt bike. I check the tank to make sure it has gas. Then I start it up. I step up and sit down on it. I put it in gear and drive out of the shop.
*Time skip*
The sun is shining down on me, as I ride around cutting the grass. I never realize how big my yard is until after I start cutting it. I'm over half way done at this point. Its been over an hour and a half now and I feel somewhat more relaxed. I always feel more relaxed driving something. Probably because I'm supposed to be able to transform into a car. It makes sense in my mind. I'm off in my own little world. Focused on the grass and making straight lines. I didn't realized how focused I was tell a red car flew past me after coming out of the woods. I immediately looked up and after to the car. It was racing fast towards my shop. I have Charger transform and walk out in front. The car stops fast in front of her. I drove the tractor over and stop behind it.
The dust starts to settle around the car. Its a red Aston Martin.