"Henry? What are you doing here?" Don asked his son as he opened the door.
Henry exchanged an apologetic look with his mother. "Dad, we need to talk."
"You don't look well." Don said opening the door further. "Are you okay? Susie and Lily?"
Henry nodded. "They're both great; I will be okay, but I really need to talk to you. Mom, I'd like to talk to Dad alone."
"Henry." Meryl warned. "If you are going to..."
Henry kissed his mom's cheek and whispered in her ear. "I'm going to fix this, I promise."
"I'm really not comfortable with you and the babies being in the other room." Don said looking at Meryl.
Meryl was hopeful Henry could take away some of the guilt and responsibility that Don was feeling. She went over and tenderly kissed his lips. "Why don't you guys go in the kitchen and get a beer? I'll take these guys into the den and play with them."
"I'm not drinking." Don looked at her.
Meryl sighed as she whispered in his ear. "You deserve it; you are NOT him."
"Is everything okay?" Henry asked as his parents were acting weird.
Meryl nodded. "Here, let me take him. We'll be in the den."
"You'll get me if you need me or they're hungry?" Don asked.
Meryl winked at him. "Of course; you two have some father/son time. While we have some Mama/Brady/Mags time."
"Come on, son." Don patted Henry's back and led him into the kitchen and grabbed two beers. "What's on your mind?"
Henry sighed as his father sat down next to him. "I should have done this months ago; but better late than never, I guess."
"Henry, you are scaring me." Don said. "Are you sure you're okay, buddy?"
Henry looked at his father with tears in his eyes. "Dad, when I heard Mom was pregnant I completely overreacted. I pushed you and looked at you with eyes that weren't meant for you. I know you would NEVER EVER hurt her or any of us, Dad. If you thought she was in danger you would move heaven and earth to protect her; you HAVE. I have seen it over and over. These past 6 months I have seen you do EVERYTHING in the world to make sure she made it through this pregnancy. I have seen you put cold cloths on her. I have seen you battle her doctors. I have seen you carry her when you shouldn't have for your own good. Dad, I am so sorry. You are my hero; you always have been. I wasn't in the best place when all this happened. I was thrilled to be with Suze and that we were having this baby; but I was terrified I could never measure up to you. So, I took it out on you. The last person in the world who deserved it. I just had so much fear in me that I could never be like my hero, be like you; so I guess I tried to blame you for something that wasn't your fault."
"Thank you, Henry." Don choked as he took his son's head in his hands. "I am so damn proud of you. You are an amazing father and husband; I couldn't be prouder of you than I am."
Henry nodded. "Dad, I just need you to know that the things I said, pinning you against the wall, wasn't about you and Mom; it was about me and my insecurities. I hate myself for that. I hate myself that because of how I handled my fears that you now doubt yourself. Please forgive me, Dad; please."
"Son, of course I forgive you; I forgave you when you came back to our suite in Indianapolis to talk to me about what happened. Thank you; I can't tell you how much this conversation means to me. Not because you are apologizing; but because you are letting me in." Don revealed. "Nothing makes me happier than to see what an amazing father and husband you are; in addition to being a wonderful son."
Henry choked at his father's words. "I learned from the best."
"I don't know about that." Don teased. "Why the urgency today, Hen? Did something happen?"
Henry took a swig of his beer. "I was hoping you could tell me. Mom called me and told me how much she loves me but how much I've hurt you; and how much that hurts her. Basically. I didn't know what happened. Dad, if what I did has caused you more trouble or is hurting you even more I am so sorry. That's why I had to tell you where I was coming from."
"My wife." Don laughed. "I appreciate it. I had a bad dream today."
Henry nodded. "Mom said you were suffering from some PTSD after seeing her flatline. I can only imagine."
"Yeah; and you kids know about my episode in the hospital from not sleeping because every time I closed my eyes I saw her dying. I agreed while we were in the hospital to take something to help me sleep; but didn't want to when we got home after it was hard for her to wake me up the first night when she and the babies needed me." Don said as Henry nodded for him to continue. "Then my PTSD came back this afternoon in an awful dream. I know what PTSD is; and so does your mother. So, I agreed to take one Xanax at night to help because it won't knock me out."
Henry sighed. "I can't imagine what you have been through. Dad, I am always here for you."
"I know that, son." Don smiled. "Thank you."
Henry decided to try to get Don to talk more. "What was the nightmare about?"
"It was awful." Don choked; just looking at his beer and not drinking it. "Bud, you don't come off too good in this."
Henry nodded. "It's okay, Dad; if it will help you, help us, work through this then I want to know."
"Okay." Don said. "First of all, your mother died at the beginning of the dream; it was all so vivid, so real. It was just like what happened the night she had them. I knew she needed to have Brady as soon as possible. I was screaming he needed to come out. I knew something was wrong. Then she flatlined. They pushed me away from her as I was screaming for her. Larry came up and was with me in the hallway as I waited; I was convinced I lost your mother but he said it wouldn't happen. They brought your mom back and wheeled her out; she was alive. They told me about Mags and that she had to have surgery. I kissed her and wanted to be with her but they wouldn't let me; so I told her I loved her. Larry waited with me; as I processed having twins then the doctor came out. At this point it was everything that really happened; this is where it changed from real life. Then the doctor told me there was too much damage and it was either save her or the baby; since she had that piece of paper drawn up they saved the baby. Which you and Susie are the only kids that knew about that piece of paper and your mother's wishes." Don explained as Henry nodded. "I yelled at Larry that he killed her because he drew up that damn piece of paper. I told him I didn't want the babies because they, and Larry, took the love of my life from me. I told him to raise them."
Henry couldn't believe all this. "Fuck, Dad; I'm so sorry. Go on."
"This might be hard for you to hear, Hen." Don said.
Henry took another swig of beer. "That's okay, Dad; I want to know, I need to know."
"My dream skipped ahead to their graduation. I wasn't there but was seeing it all happen. Larry, Liz, you, Susie, Mamie, Grace and Louisa were all there cheering for the twins and Lily as they graduated. Something was said about me not being there. You said that first I got your mother pregnant which killed her and I left the babies without a mother. You said I turned into a lowlife drunk who bankrupted us and I wasn't there for our children. You said your mother would be disgusted in me."
Henry swallowed hard. "Keep going Pops."
"Susie told you not to start."Don winked at his son.
Henry couldn't help but laugh. "Sounds like my wife."
"Yeah." Don laughed. "You kids talked to Liz and Larry about how they felt like orphans when your mother died and you all thanked Liz and Larry for loving you. Liz said you all were their own; and Larry said you always would be. Then I showed up at their graduation party drunk. Larry wouldn't let me in. I said they were my fucking children and you asked since when. You said that I had never been good to them; that I was a lowlife drunk. I said I was there for your mother. You got mad and said your mother would be, that she was ashamed of me; that I was no longer her Don Man."
Henry sighed. "I was an ass; I'm sorry, Dad."
"I know it's not you; just as the me in my dream isn't me." Don explained.
Henry smiled sadly at his father. "You're right.
"I then shoved you and told you not to say that." Don choked. "You said I was why your mother was dead; that I only thought with my dick and what I wanted. That I killed your mom by getting her pregnant."
Henry's heart hurt at his father's anguish. "Dad, I know that's not true. You put ALL of us first. As Mom said, what happens between you two, the decisions you make, is between husband and wife."
"Mags and Brady came in and asked why I was there. Mags said something about how I had called her a whore." Don said. "I would NEVER."
Henry sighed. "Dad, it sounds like you were making yourself be James which you could NEVER EVER be. You are the most gentle, loving, supportive and encouraging husband and father there is."
"Thanks, Hen; I went and grabbed a bottle of whiskey and said I was going to be with your mother." Don went on. "Even though I was technically gone I saw Larry tell all of you that I was going to your mother's grave in Mason's Island. As I was driving I was wiping away tears thinking that you all had no idea what my life was like without your mother; the utter hell I was living in, not being able to breathe. I knocked over my whiskey bottle, I went to pick it up then when I looked up I saw headlights coming towards me. My last thought was that I was going to see your mother."
Henry's heart twisted even more at his father's anguish. "Did it end there?"
"No." Don said shaking his head in the negative. "Then it was my funeral in Mason's Island, it was cold. Brady was talking to Larry saying they never wanted that to happen; and I guess Mags had just had a baby. Brady went to Mags as she was at the cliff where your mother and I were buried yelling at me. That she loved me but hated me. She screamed how much she hated me; but knew I was in pain and that they were reminders of your mother. That I wasn't really the person they knew. Brady came over and said I wasn't hurting anymore and was now with your mother. That we belonged together. They said they loved me and to say hi to your mom. They hoped your mother and I were proud of them and loved them. Larry came over and said your mother and I were his best friends and he knew how much we loved them and how proud we were of them."
Henry took a long swig of his beer. "What then, Dad?"
"I woke up and couldn't find your mother and the babies; it turns out she was in the nursery with them playing so their cries didn't wake me up when they did." Don choked. "I couldn't breathe. I was afraid they were right."
Henry shook his head strongly. "Dad, that whole dream was utter bullshit. I don't feel that way; not in a million years; neither do my sisters, AT ALL. Mags and Brady won't ever feel that way either. And Lily thinks her Grandpa Don hung the moon even at only 5 months old. If, God forbid, mom had died we wouldn't have blamed you. We would have been worried sick about you. You would NEVER do the things I accused you of, insinuated, in your dream. Dad, I really do mean it when I say that you are my hero; and I hope that some day I can be half the father you are. I know how strongly you have ALWAYS protected us; and will ALWAYS protect each and every one of us."
"I know you don't remember what happened with Kevin Mann..." Don began but was cut off.
Henry got up with his beer and looked at his father. "I need to tell you and Mom something."
"Okay." Don said getting up; not sure where this was coming from but he could tell by the look on his son's face that it was important. "Let's go find her."
***
"Hey, you two." Meryl smiled as she had the babies on the couch in front of her as she was finishing up a diaper change. "Everything okay?"
Don smiled. "We've had a good conversation. Hen said there's something he needs to tell us."
"First of all, Mom; I want you to know that I apologized to Dad for things I have said regarding not protecting you. I'm sure he'll tell you about it." Henry smiled as he saw his mother reach out for his father's hand and then they each held a baby. "I know the lengths he goes to in order to protect all of us. I remember. I know you two don't think I do; but I do."
Meryl shook her head; not following where Henry was going. "Sweetheart; what do you mean you remember?"
"Kevin Mann." Henry said sitting down on the coffee table in front of where his parents were sitting on the couch. "I remember."
Don squeezed Meryl's hand. "Hen, what do you remember?"
"I mean; I don't remember everything. There are glimpses. I remember Mom and I crying for you in a warehouse." Henry saw the look on his parents' faces and was regretting this. "I'm sorry; I shouldn't have said anything."
Don looked at Meryl and she nodded so he took the baby from her. "Henry, we want you to feel free to talk about this. I'm going to put them down in the bassinet."
"Thanks, Don Man." Meryl choked. "Henry, we want to know what you remember, sweetheart."
Henry nodded. "I remember Mom screaming over and over. I remember him throwing me to the outside room. Then I remember seeing you, Dad. I remember feeling so happy."
"I'm glad." Don choked. "Go on, Hen."
Henry nodded as his father had one arm around his mother and she was holding Henry's hands. "I remember feeling better when you two would hold me. I remember being scared when Mom and I were scared when we left the hospital; but when you, Dad, told me everything would be okay and that you would protect me and Mom that you would. When we were in that warehouse I remember thinking I had to help Mom, I had to get us to you, but I didn't know how."
"Gippy, you were only 18 months old." Meryl choked as she wiped away her tears. "That wasn't your responsibility. All I wanted was to keep us alive until your father found us; because I knew how hard he was working to find and save us."
Don and Meryl shared an adoring look with one another when she said that. "Buddy, that wasn't your responsibility. I know how just by being you that you kept your mother, and yourself going."
"What I'm saying is Dad, I know the intensity you protect us with. I remember you holding me and Mom when we were scared. I remember you telling me how much you love me and were proud of me." Henry explained. "From that moment you were my hero, and I became really protective of Mom. I knew you would protect us; but if you weren't around then I needed to protect her. I know she never needs protecting from you; you are the last person in the world she needs protecting from. Mom, I already told Dad this but when I found out you were pregnant back in February I had so much fear inside of me; fear that I would never be as good of a dad as my hero, my father, is. So, I let that fear turn into anger towards Dad. I guess I wanted to take down my hero so I wasn't so insecure; I don't know. I really am truly sorry; Dad, you have always been my hero and always will be."
Don leaned forward and hugged his son, tightly. "Thank you, Hen; for the record, you are my hero. You have been since I saw how you took care of your mother all those years ago. I was so proud of you then, but that is only a fraction of the pride I feel for you today."
"Your father's right, honey." Meryl kissed her son's cheek. "You kept me alive and going in that warehouse. Next to your father, of course, you are the best husband and father I have ever seen. You are just like your hero; and we are so damn proud of you."
Don nodded as they were all wiping their tears away. "Son, why didn't you ever tell us that you remembered?"
"We never want you to be afraid to talk to us." Meryl interjected.
Henry nodded. "I know that; it just came in spurts. Then it was so long ago I thought there was no need in bringing it up."
"I'm glad you told us." Don said.
Meryl nodded. "I'm extremely grateful you did as well; and I appreciate your apology and letting us in on how you were feeling. Just because you are a grown man with a wife and daughter doesn't mean we magically stopped being here for you or stopped being there for you. We are ALWAYS here for you, honey. ALWAYS. You will always be our first baby."
"No matter what." Don said. "I really appreciate you coming over."
Henry looked at the clock on the wall as he got up. "I'm sorry, but I need to get back home. I didn't realize what time it was."
"I love you so much, Henry Wolfe Gummer." Meryl said hugging her son then whispering in his ear. "Thank you for coming over; I'm sorry about earlier."
Henry kissed her cheek. "Should have happened months ago; thank you for always being the angel on my shoulder."
"Her? Angel?" Don teased as Meryl gently smacked and he hugged his son. "I am proud to call you my son and my hero; I love you."
Henry laughed at his parents with a smile on his face as the babies started to cry. "I love all of you; now that's my cue."
"Bye." Meryl laughed as she and Don each picked up a baby and went to their spots for changing and nursing.
Don had just changed Brady and sat by his wife as she fed their daughter. "So, want to tell me what the phone call to him was about; my sneaky wife?"
***