A surge through my muscles awakened me as I jerked up in the bed. I instinctively thrust my hand towards the bedside table, groping for the cards to make sure they were safe. My heart dropped when I realized it wasn't there, and I wasn't where I thought I was. The room around me wasn't my own, but a prison cell.
I paused in silence as the memories slipped back into my half-conscious mind. My adrenalin dissolved in my blood, allowing the soreness from sleeping on the hard surface of what was supposed to be a bed to fade in.
I propped my back against the wall and pulled my knees into my chest, shivering a little from the cool, dank air of the room. I was going through the process of re-accepting that in the previous twenty-four hour period, every aspect of my life had changed. I went from a comfortable boarding room to sleeping in a dungeon, from working for the ones I loved and respected to being at the mercy of the man I wanted dead... What kind of sick joke was my life, anyway?
I ran my hand through my thick, matted hair, smoothing the strands back. I imagined I looked like a walking corpse right now—my eyes red with irritation, my paling complexion contrasting against the scar that ran across my cheek, my body appearing to be thin skin pulled against muscle and bone. I used to not look like this, but after years of enduring harsh training, fighting battles even in sleep, and having no time or reason to care for appearance, it just happened.
I shifted my attention to the guard standing outside the cell. Like all the others I had seen here, he wore a black suit and had clean-cut hair. Through the dark glasses, I couldn't tell if he was looking directly back at me or staring off in la-la land. I decided it's probably the second one. I've been stationed on shift like his many times before; I know that's about all you do. But since he's just dying for something to happen, he's still prepared to act at any time. I would still consider attempting to escape, but without my gun, that's nearly impossible. My body's too tired to fight or run. Even if he really slacked off and fell asleep or something, I wouldn't risk my life for picking the lock.
The thought brought back a question I had been asking myself since the moment it happened. Pegasus said he would take my life if I lost. He made it a point to say he was a man of his word, so why didn't he keep his promise and do it? And, how was he planning to do it? It had to have something to do with the power of that eye. Besides that, judging by the way it played out, what happened didn't seem to be what was supposed to happen, and this was the alternative.
I had a feeling there was so much more that was going on that I didn't know about yet. Could these reasons tie in with Mokuba and Kaiba? What was he planning to do with them? And was I supposed to be a part of it, or was I just an unexpected side-effect?
Counting the number of the unanswered questions began to strain my mind. I decided to put the thoughts away for the time being. Dwelling on them wasn't going to help anything now.
That afternoon, I found a familiar figure standing just outside the bars of the cell. I didn't look at his face, but the get-up was unmistakable. I could hear the smirk in his voice as he spoke. "You've been in here a while now. How are you feeling?"
"Like I severely regret not killing you," I growled.
"Not in a very chirpy mood, I see," he chuckled.
"Don't you have something else to be doing?"
"Yes, but watching the few pieces of yourself that you managed to hold together crumble apart is much more entertaining." I turned away from him. "So, tell me Alice-girl, what is this mysterious past you've been keeping form me, and all this soul-searching talk about darkness and light?"
"Stay out of my head," I told him, refusing to show any sign of discomfort knowing that he was reading my thoughts again.
"I can't help it," he said lightly. "You're simply too interesting. You have such hazy philosophies, the product of a hazy past."
I clenched my fists, cursing him in my head, knowing that he would hear it. I didn't want him to say those things out loud, to expose that beneath my exterior I was no more stable than a house of cards.
"So then, if you feel that darkness had provided you with so much stability, why don't you simply just let it return?"
His question lured the memories of my training to swirl around inside me, the words that were said to me just before I accepted the offer to become an assassin echoing like a broken record: This is a job for those who don't know what they're living for and don't care. At that time, I was one of those people. That's all I was. I had given up finding myself. It hurt too much to continue searching. I forced myself not to care in an attempt to stop the heartache.
"Oh, I see. It's because of them, isn't it?" Pegasus laughed. "The Kaiba brothers."
They brought my care back, broke me from my fear of it. Ever since I began working for them, I found a new side to my life, a dim but growing light. I eventually decided to stop fighting the desire to enjoy it, and allowed myself to admit that I loved being there for them, seeing sides to them that few others had seen—like when Mokuba comes to me to let his emotions out, or when Seto genuinely smiles when he thinks no one's looking.
But... all of it was gone. I would never see any of that again.
"Light's just never been on your side, now has it?" he asked. "Every time you feel safe enough to keep it, it slips away from you. When will you learn that it's simply not for you and give up on it?" His words had a strange tone. They weren't taunting, or beckoning, but simply questioning.
A realization came to me like a fiery whip. Darkness and light are both parts of me. To let one go would result in destroying a part of myself. But right now, I needed a blanket of shadow to help me carry on. I needed to surrender to continue to fight, to let go of my pride now to give the person I may find myself to be a chance to live.
Ready to answer his question, I met his eyes with a slight smile, determination glowing in my eyes. "I won't."
"So then, you've chosen not to give up on it," he his smile darkened. "I have to admit, I'm rather surprised by this outcome. Though it's disappointing I didn't get to see your spirit wither away, it was a rather good show." He turned away to leave. "I suppose it's about time I put you to work."
************
Even though there was no way of telling day from night in the underground dungeon, I somehow sensed the morning outside of the walls. Just as I was going through my waking process, a lump of cloth was shoved through the bars at me, landing on the ground with a thud.
"Your uniform," a guard I hadn't seen before told me. He was a tall, thickly built, bald man with thinly-cut facial hair.
I curiously kneeled down beside the pile and laid out the items. He appeared to have given me a grey shirt that was obviously going to be too big, an unflattering pair of brown trousers, and clunky hiking boots. Before I began to ask how on earth the pants were supposed to fit, a belt was tossed to me.
"Now turn around, and place your hands on the wall," he ordered. With a sigh, I reluctantly did as he said. I heard the door screech open behind me as he stepped in. I flinched when I felt a cold hand on my neck, followed by a rough piece of material. He tightened it around my throat, then secured it with a little click. The guard stepped away, giving me the signal that I could move again.
Curious, I pulled at the strange new item, shifting it to where I could somewhat see it. It appeared to be a collar with a box on it where the lock was.
"This is your tracking necklace," he explained to me. "If you attempt to do something out if line, remove it, or escape, it will send volts of electricity though your body."
"So, it's basically, a shock collar," I narrowed my eyes, tapping it.
"Yes. And it has the strength of a taser, so I wouldn't suggest messing with it too much."
I paled a little upon realizing that Pegasus had chosen that particular thing to control me on purpose. He'd somehow found out that electricity ranked as one of my top fears.
His voice turned monotone as if he were reciting an oath. "As for your instructions, you will do whatever Mr. Pegasus asks of you. You will do no harm to him or his company. You are to have no contact with anyone outside this residence. A tournament is currently being hosted on this island. Mr. Pegasus expects you to keep the island in shape for it, and to clean up after it's over. Work diligently in completing the chores you are given each day." He handed me a to-do list, then turned away and left, leaving the door open behind him.
I looked back at the collar around my neck, then sighed heavily. "As if I'm not humiliated enough already." It's then that I noticed that he had actually left me alone, entrusting the collar to my security. "But at least I finally have some privacy."
************