Time in San Francisco had passed slowly since they arrived there a few days ago. Time probably wasn't actually passing any more slowly that it normally did, Kate was just ready to meet with Pike and see if she would finally be able to get off the Enterprise. The longer that she waited, the more unsure she grew, but she knew it would be the best thing in the long run. Being away from Leonard would give her peace of mind a chance to let her heart heal, while being away from Jim would mean her career record would look more legitimate. Any way she spun it, it was a good idea to get off the Enterprise, but there was a small part of her that was afraid Chris really would approve the transfer. Her best friends were on the Enterprise, and it would be difficult to leave them.
This is how Kate spent the few days waiting to meet with Chris. Waffling back and forth on if she really wanted to leave the Enterprise or not, while trying to get life in her small apartment back in order since it had been so long since she had been in it. Nyota visited a few times, but they both had a lot of other things on their minds at this point so there wasn't much that was said between them and it was mostly sharing meals with each other so that they wouldn't pass the whole day alone.
The day finally came for her to meet with Chris and her stomach was alive with butterflies. At this point, she knew she still wanted to transfer off the ship, but she was less confident now that she was about to walk in to his office and discuss this face-to-face. She knew that he was going to see through her lie about not wanting Jim to be her captain, and she wasn't sure what she was going to say. She just knew she didn't want to admit that she was requesting a transfer to get away from a man she had fallen in love with.
She knocked on Chris's door timidly and he called out, "Come on in, Kate," so she opened the door with smile on her face.
She greeted him, "Sir, it's been too long since we've seen each other. You look so much better than the last time I saw you!"
Chris laughed and said, "Well, the last time I was still recovering from everything that happened on the Romulan ship, so I should hope so."
She laughed as well and said, "It's nice to be back on the planet again, too. Flying is not as terrible as I thought it would be, but we've had a couple close calls in the few months I've been on board, so it's nice to know the ground beneath me is pretty solid right now."
Chris nodded and seemed to be thinking of something else as he said, "The reports Jim and Spock have been sending back have been interesting. You all have not had any shortage of adventure have you?"
Kate shook her head, "No, we certainly haven't. In fact, it feels like as soon as we stop one thing, another thing starts right up."
Chris nodded to himself and said, "Well, let's not keep you waiting any longer. Why do you want to transfer off of Star Fleet's flagship vessel, while you are serving as one of two chief medical officers?"
Kate hated that he worded it that way. No matter what she said, it was going to sound childish. It was an honor to work on the Enterprise, and she knew that. She shook her head and admitted, "When you word it that way, I know how ridiculous it sounds for me to request a transfer, but consider if you didn't know Jim and me."
Chris sat back in his chair and nodded as he said, "Okay, I'll humor you. I don't know you and Jim. Explain it to me."
Kate sighed, feeling like he was just playing with her, and said, "Jim and I joined the Enterprise at the same time. Between everything that happened, there aren't any real clear records as to when our positions changed. What it looks like, is that Jim became captain of the Enterprise and I became a chief medical officer right around the same time. Anyone who looks closely into that will be suspicious of why it happened that way."
Chris nodded and asked, "So you think your records and service don't speak for themselves?"
Kate sat back in her chair now and said, "I'd like to think that they do. I joined before he did and moved through the ranks quickly before he joined. I've worked well as an instructor and a doctor while here, but I think any outside eyes will just see that my twin brother is my captain." Kate hoped that her words were convincing enough.
Chris sat forward and seemed to be examining her closely for a moment. He shook his head and said, "Kate, I know that there's something more than what you're telling me, but you're clearly not willing to, are you?"
Kate closed her eyes and shook her head, not willing to look at Chris.
She heard Chris lean back in his chair before he said, "I'm not approving it, Kate."
Kate looked up at him and asked, "Why?" Not trying to disguise her disappointment, but she would have been lying if she had tried to say that a very small part of her wasn't happy with his decision. That small part was just drowned out by the disappointed part right now.
Chris smiled at her and said, "You'd regret it, as soon as you set foot on a different ship. I know you would."
Kate shrugged and said, "You don't know that," and knew it sounded childish, but sat crossed her arms and looked at him.
He shook his head and still had a small smile on his face before he admitted, "Kate, Jim's not captain of the Enterprise anymore."
Her disappointment left behind, she sat forward and asked, "What? What do you mean he's not captain?" She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Why would they have taken that away from him.
Chris sighed and said, "You know what happened on Nibiru. Tell me, who do you think was honest in their log? Your brother or Spock?"
Kate put her head in her hands and said, "Spock," then looked up and asked, "How different were the logs?"
Chris said flatly, "Night and day. Command can't let your brother stay captain if he lied in his report to Star Fleet. They're sending him back to academy."
Kate felt terrible for Jim, but nodded and realized quickly where this was going so she asked, "That's why you're not approving my transfer?"
Chris nodded and said, "That, and what I said earlier. I know that you would regret it."
Kate sighed and said, "Well, I guess I have my answer. Thank you sir," then stood quickly and left his office. She knew it was rude to leave without being excused, but right now she just had to get away. She didn't want him to see the tears that were starting to form in her eyes. She was still going to be working with Leonard, every single day, but now there was the added element of not having Jim on board with her.
As she opened the door, she was surprised to see Jim and Spock standing there and they seemed just as surprised to see her. She tried to blink back the tears, but it was too late. Jim had already seen them and asked, "Kate, what's wrong? Is everything okay back home?"
Kate nodded and said, "Yeah, Jim. Everything's fine. Mom's fine. I'm just..." then tapered off trying to think of what to say. She couldn't come up with anything, so she said, "We can talk about this later. Seems like you've got a meeting to go to anyway."
Jim placed a hand on her shoulder and pulled her in for a quick hug before saying, "Sure, feel like having dinner with your brother tonight?"
Kate shook her head and could tell Jim was disappointed, but didn't leave him feeling that way for long as she said instead, "No, but I do feel like drinking with my brother tonight. Want to meet up at the Rickhouse tonight?"
Jim's eyes filled with concern, and Kate knew it was because that she never really wanted to drink like he did, but Spock had already entered Chris's office, so Jim said, "Yeah, let's do it. 5 sound good?"
Kate nodded and left, going back to her apartment. She sat down on her couch and stared at the wall for a moment. She knew she was going to have to get this out of her system. Being angry and upset about still being on the Enterprise was not going to get her anywhere, so she had to be more proactive about it. Tonight would be the last night that she would let herself be upset about still working with Leonard. She'd go drinking with Jim and, hell, maybe she'd find some random hot guy to hook up with so she could really begin getting over Leonard.
She ate a small lunch, watched a girly chick flick so that she could get some more tears out, and before she knew it, it was time to go meet Jim at the bar. She had gotten to the bar a little before Jim, so she sat down and ordered herself a whiskey sour to work on while she was waiting on Jim. She was going to need courage anyway. He knew she was upset earlier, so he was going to ask her about it and she was going to have to admit to everything.
Kate had already finished her first drink and was working on her second when Jim sat down at the bar beside her and ordered a straight whiskey on ice. They looked at each other sadly for a moment, both knowing that the other was hurting. Kate took a drink and broke the ice first by asking, "How are you?"
Jim took a drink as well and said, "Well, I'm glad you suggested coming to a bar tonight instead of dinner. That seems more fitting."
Kate put a hand on Jim's and said, "I'm sorry Jim."
Jim shrugged and pulled his hand out from under hers to pat her on the back of the hand before saying, "Well, you know what I'm upset about, so what are you upset about?"
Kate took another long sip of her drink before setting her glass down and saying quietly, "I asked Pike to transfer off the ship."
Jim looked over at her with shock in his eyes and asked, "When the hell were you going to tell me about this?"
Kate felt guilty, but continued, "Whenever he approved it. Which he didn't," then took another sip of her drink.
Jim sighed and asked, "And that upset you? Why did you want to transfer off? Is it because of me?"
Kate shook her head, "That's what I told Pike, but no, it's not because of you."
Jim shrugged and asked, "Well, what then, Kate?"
Kate looked him in the eye and asked, "Do you really not know why I'd want off the ship?" She hoped her brother knew her well enough to know that it was difficult for her to be around Leonard every day.
Jim put his hand back on hers and squeezed softly as he asked, "Is it really that hard to see him every day?"
Kate squeezed her eyes shut for a moment as she felt her eyes start to water when Jim asked that question. She gathered herself for a moment, then replied in all honesty, "Jim, I love him and it's not enough. I don't know how to fall out of love when falling in love took me three years to do."
Jim sighed and said, "I wish I could fix this for you."
Kate shrugged and took another drink before saying, "I wish you could too, but I'll have to find a way to do it because I'm still going to be working with him."
Jim took a sip of his drink and added in, "But not with me."
Kate felt tears start forming again, so she took another drink and was definitely starting to feel it's effects, but ordered a third anyway. She was going to get it out of her system tonight and then start fresh tomorrow on the path to healing. She shook her head and said sadly, "But not with you."
Silence settled between them for a moment and someone slipped into the seat beside Jim. Jim looked over at the person and groaned as he asked, "How did you find me?"
Kate looked over and was surprised to see Chris, but she was still upset enough about not being transferred that she didn't really want to greet him. Chris replied to Jim, "I know you better than you think I do. The first time I found you was in a dive like this. You got your ass handed to you. Remember that?"
Kate recalled what Jim looked like his first day at academy and remembered that story. Jim had gotten into a bar fight and Chris helped get him out of it and convinced him to join Star Fleet. Jim shook his head and contradicted Chris saying, "No I didn't."
Chris raised an eyebrow and said, "You had napkins hanging out of your nose, didn't you?"
Jim laughed softly before taking a drink and saying, "Yeah, that was a good fight."
Kate rolled her eyes at Jim's comment and said, "No fight is a good fight," and Chris agreed saying, "A good fight... I think that's your problem right there."
Silence settled over the three of them for a moment before Chris said softly, "They gave her back to me. The Enterprise."
Kate was happy to know who her new captain was going to be, but she felt bad for Jim as he found out that news. He took another drink before saying, "Congratulations. Watch your back with that first officer, though."
Chris shook his head and countered, "Spock's not going to be working with me. He's been transferred. USS Bradbury. You're going to be my first officer," then directed his talking toward Kate and said, "The rest of the crew will be unchanged."
Kate took a drink and said, "Congratulations, sir. It will be great to work for you again," and she meant to say the words genuinely, but knew that they sounded sarcastic as she said them.
Chris sighed and returned his attention to Jim saying, "Marcus took some convincing, but every now and then I can make a good case."
Jim seemed touched and asked, "What did you tell him?"
Chris smiled and said, "The truth. That I believe in you, and that if anybody deserves a second chance, it's Jim Kirk."
Kate hoped that Jim was touched, because she was starting to get emotional from the effects of her drinks and Chris's honesty. She nudged Jim to get him to say something, so Jim said, "I don't know what to say."
Pike smiled at him and patted him on the shoulder as he said, "That is a first," then squeezed Jim's shoulder gently as he said, "It's going to be okay, son."
Kate felt love swell in her heart for Chris, even though she was still upset about not transferring off the ship. Chris had stepped up and been a father figure for her and Jim since day one of their academy experiences. It felt like more than they deserved to have someone watching out for what was best for them.
She was about to say something, when Chris's communicator started beeping. He opened it and read the message, and as he did so concern spread across his face. He looked up at Jim and said, "Emergency session, Daystorm. That's us."
Jim nodded as Chris stood up and said, "Suit up."
Chris went to leave, but Kate called out and said, "Chris, wait."
He turned around and she said quickly, "I know you not transferring me is what you think is best for me. I'm hurt, and I'm sorry that I've been rude because of it, but I know you did it because you care." It felt good to admit that to him. She was sure she had only been able to do it because of the alcohol in her system, but she was glad she said it nonetheless.
Chris smiled and came over to give her a big hug before saying, "I know, Kate. Thanks for telling me," then turned to leave after saying to Jim, "Be at Daystrom in 45."
Jim nodded as Chris left. Jim handed his drink over to Kate and asked, "Take care of this for me?"
Kate nodded and sat it next to her drink as Jim asked, "You gonna be okay here?"
Kate nodded again and said, "I'm going to go home soon. I think I've got it mostly out of my system now."
Jim smile sadly and said, "It'll be hard Kate, but let me know if I can do anything to help you. I want you to be happy again."
Kate felt tears return but nodded and said, "You better go. Don't want you to be late to your first meeting."
Jim nodded and said, "See you, sis."
Kate sat at the bar staring at her drink for a while. She finished it slowly as she thought about if she was really okay or not. As she took a drink, she thought about what she had thought earlier about hooking up with some random hot guy, but that seemed less appealing now. She decided to finish her and Jim's drinks and then go home to sleep off the hangover she surely was going to have.
As she finished hers, she saw a figure sit next to her at the bar and turned to look and was surprised to see Leonard sit beside her. He seemed surprised to see her as well and said, "Didn't take this for your usual hangout, Kate."
Kate shook her head and could definitely feel the effects of all the alcohol now and said, "No, it's not. Just had a rough day."
Leonard ordered his drink and said, "Tell me about it. I thought life was supposed to be easier on planet. What's got you down?"
The bartender sat Leonard's drink in front of him, and Kate had retained enough of her sanity through the alcohol to consider if she should tell him what was wrong with her or not. While waiting, she must have taken too long to speak, because Leonard asked again after taking a large sip of his own drink, "Everything okay?"
Alcohol took over, and Kate blurted out, "I requested a transfer off the ship."
Leonard reacted basically the same way Jim had. Surprise filled his features, but he took another drink and basically downed the rest of his drink before asking, "What'd you do that for," and motioned for the bartender to bring him another.
Telling Leonard she requested a transfer and the alcohol basically turned off any filter she had, so she said honestly, "I didn't want to work with you anymore."
Leonard had been taking a drink and almost choked at her response. He looked over at her with hurt in his eyes and asked, "You're trying to run away from me?"
Kate shrugged, and admitted, "Trying and failing. Pike didn't approve the transfer and I wouldn't have ever told him the real reason anyway."
Leonard seemed relieved that she was still going to be on ship, but continued the conversation by asking, "Am I really that hard to work with," and Kate was surprised at the genuine hurt that seemed to be present in his voice.
She thought of his honesty with her about not being available for a relationship because of things that had happened with his ex-wife, and wondered if she had ever told him that he was difficult. She found herself feeling sorry for Leonard and shook her head as she reassured him, "No, I love working with you. The problem is that I also love you," then downed the rest of Jim's drink to try to build a little more confidence. She wasn't sure why she had felt brave enough to confess that last part, but she had anyway and now it was out in the open.
Leonard sat his drink down on the bar and turned to face her and said softly, "Kate, I didn't ever want for you to love me because I never wanted to hurt you."
Kate shrugged and didn't fight the tears in her eyes as much this time as she admitted, "You have hurt me. Over and over again, but none of it was on purpose. You didn't know how much I cared about you until now, so there was no way for you to know."
Leonard shook his head and said, "But I think I did know. I should've discouraged it, Kate. I should've pushed you away."
She could see the guilt eating him alive and knew that they were only having this conversation because she was drunk and he was getting there, but she was glad they were having it. It had needed to happen for a long time now. She shook her head and said, "No, Len. You shouldn't have. You couldn't have. That's not you. You try to convince people that you're big and bad, but you really do care about people and you have a heart. You never would've been able to be intentionally mean and push me away."
Leonard chuckled to himself and took another drink and said, "You know me so well, darlin'," then cringed as he heard himself say it and said, "Sorry, I know I shouldn't do that to you."
Kate hesitated for a moment before acting, knowing that it could end up hurting her more in the long run, but ended up reaching out and putting a hand on his knee and squeezing softly as she said, "I know it's a habit. I shouldn't get so upset when you do it."
Leonard placed his hand on hers and squeezed it gently and she felt her heart rate increase rapidly. He looked at her, not letting go of her hand, and said, "I wish I deserved you loving me. I'm just a broken ass of a man that can't even sort through his past issues enough to act on the feelings I have for the beautiful woman that's right in front of me every day."
Kate squeezed Leonard's hand as she squeezed her eyes shut. When she opened them, she found that she had leaned closer to Leonard and saw that he had leaned closer to her as well. The looked at each other for a moment, almost as if testing to see if they were really going to do this. Kate assessed her mental well being and knew that if she were sober that she would never be doing this, but that didn't make her change her actions any at the moment.
She leaned forward a bit more to close most of the distance between them, and he obliged by leaning in the rest of the way. As his lips met hers, she felt a fire erupt in her stomach and she wrapped her arms around his neck. He wove his fingers in to her hair, pulling her as close to him as he could possibly get her. His tongue ran gently across her lip, so she opened her mouth and allowed him to kiss her more deeply. This was a mistake, and she knew it, but, hell, she was going to enjoy this mistake while it lasted.
He pulled his lips away from hers and asked, "You wanna get out of here, darlin'?"
Kate nodded her head and Leonard pulled away from her so that he could pull cash out of his wallet to pay for their drinks. As soon as that was taken care of, he grabbed her by the hand and began leading her out of the bar. Again, she knew it was a mistake, but that was hard to think about right now as Leonard pushed her up against the wall of the building as soon as they got outside and began kissing her again. She wrapped her arms around his neck again as he pushed himself closer into her and kept kissing her as if it was the only thing that he needed in that moment.
Kate broke away this time and said, "Len, shouldn't we find somewhere else to go?"
Leonard groaned and said, "God, woman, you have to be beautiful and smart, too? Your place or mine?"
Kate smiled as he kissed her forehead and said, "I'm just a few blocks from here."
He kissed her once more and said, "Sounds like your place then."
As Leonard took her hand and they started walking quickly toward her apartment, both their communicators started beeping. Leonard groaned again and said, "Ignore it, Kate," but both of them knew they couldn't actually ignore it.
She pulled out her communicator and felt her knees buckle underneath her as she read the message. Leonard caught her and said, "What is it, Kate?"
Kate instantly felt sober and immediately regretted everything that had just happened between her and Leonard, but pushed that aside as she pulled away form Leonard and read the message that said, "You're needed at Daystrom to respond to an attack that has taken place at Star Fleet headquarters."
Leonard shook his head, not understanding exactly why she was so upset and asked, "Kate, why is this upsetting you so much."
She choked back a sob before saying, "Jim's at Daystrom right now. He went there with Chris for an emergency session." She would have to regret her actions with Leonard some other time. All she wanted to do right now was to run straight to headquarters and find out if Jim was alive or not.