(JJ's POV)
I rolled over in bed and looked at the clock to see that it was two-thirty A.M. Sleeping just wasn't in the cards for me tonight. I pulled my robe over top of my pajamas and walked down stairs. There was a dim lamp turned on, but the rest of the cabin was completely dark. I turned on the chandelier light that hung over the table, and sat looking through Jake's grandma's old cook book. It was filled with different family recipes for soups, casseroles, pies, different cakes, and tons of cookies. With the funeral being tomorrow morning I figured I should make some cookies for everyone to enjoy. I flipped to a page that had been dog eared and had stains from what I could only assume was vanilla.
The recipe read Nana's Famous Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies. I knew that was the perfect recipe. After checking the pantry for all the ingredients, I was set to make these cookies.
I had the dough just about finished, and the over was preheated, when Jake walked downstairs rubbing his eyes. "Jay, baby, it's three A.M. What are you doing?"
"Uh," I stood there looking like an idiot I'm sure, "I couldn't sleep. So I wanted to try to make some of your Nana's cookies."
He just stood there and laughed. "Oh please tell me you woke me up to make the Pumpkin Specialties?"
I grabbed him a glass of milk from the fridge while he sat down at the table. "Hey, I didn't wake you up, you woke yourself up. And yes, I am making those." I brushed my fingers through his bedhead hair, moving it away from his face.
"Okay, you're forgiven then." He smirked and grabbed a handful of chocolate chips.
I stirred the dough together after adding the chocolate chips, "Tell me about your Nana."
"Oh gosh, my Nana was the coolest lady in the world. You would have loved her. She was always in the kitchen, and was always looking for reasons to have parties. And she loved having her family around. When she got sick, we all just kind of stopped coming around."
"What happened to her?"
"The first day of my freshman year, we found out that she had stage four breast cancer. She didn't even make it to Christmas that year." He choked down a tear, and changed the subject. "So, you think you can live up to be the cook she used to be? These are her recipes?"
"I don't know, you tell me for yourself." I grabbed a spoon and handed him a scoop of dough.
He put the whole thing in his mouth and smiled. "She'd be so proud!"
We continued to make the cookies for another hour until his Grandpa came running down the stairs with a gun. "Jacob?!" He yelled, "What in the hell are you two doing?"
Jake laughed, "Sorry Pop, JJ insisted on making some of Nana's cookies."
"Gosh kids, you scared the crap out of me! I almost shot you?"
"Well, how about we go put the gun away, and you get a few more hours of sleep?" Jake laughed as he took the gun from his Grandpa.
"Whatever. Just keep it quiet kids." He said as he turned back upstairs. Jake put the gun back in the safe, and helped me pull the cookies out.
When we had finished with the cookies and the kitchen was clean again, I made us each a cup of hot chocolate and we sat on the sofa together. "You ready for the funeral?"
"I think so." He whispered. "I just pray that my dad doesn't show up."
"Even if he does, don't let him make it all about him. This is a day that we're celebrating your moms life."
"You're right." He kissed my four head and pulled me close to him. I don't know how long we had been sitting there before we both fell asleep again on the couch.
I woke up the next morning in his arms and saw that it was already eight o'clock. "Jake! It's already eight! We need to hurry. They need us to the chapel in an hour for the viewing!" We both jumped up to get ready.
It took the two of us almost an hour to get ready, and we raced over to the funeral home arriving only minutes before the viewing was to start. Hallie and Tom drove through the night, and arrived only thirty minutes before the viewing. I had just gotten off the phone with my dad and he let me know that they were an hour from landing, and they would be sure to be to the funeral on time.
As people entered the room wanting to pay their respects to Jake, his family, and especially his mother, I walked over to her as she lay in her casket. Whoever had done her makeup and hair had done an amazing job. I brushed my fingers across the golden curls that lay so restful on the pink pillow, and I situated the blush pink roses that were set on her casket. She looked so peaceful, and finally content with her situation.
The viewing was a beautiful meeting, and I was grateful to all the town members who came to share their love and support for Jake and his family. Jake was still quite young when they moved to Texas, but the people of Pacific Grove were still incredible to him. People like his old Kindergarten teacher, the pastor, and his tee-ball coach were there for him.
The funeral was absolutely beautiful. I learned so much about Jake's mom that I don't think he would have wanted to talk about if it weren't for the situation. In each situation I learned more about Jake too, and it made me love him even more. Stories were told about her childhood, and more about her time with Jake and even their time with his father.
The entire service had me in tears and made me wish that I could have been able to meet his mother more than the few opportunities that I had. When the funeral concluded my parents met us at the front of the room and my dad held Jake as he just cried in his arms. I knew he'd been holding in tears for days now, and I was grateful for the relationship that my dad had with him. Because of that, he was able to feel comfort in having my dad there for him.
The moment was lost when the four of us were met outside the chapel by Jake's father. He walked up to him nonchalantly and pulled him in for a hug. "Beautiful service son."
"Um, thanks." He gently pushed his father off of him, "Why are you here? And why'd you bring her?" He asked as he gestured to his father's wife.
"She's my wife, son. Wherever I go, she goes."
"And you just now started living that lifestyle?" Jake argued. His father didn't have words. "That's what I thought. Look, I have plans with the family. So it was good to see you, but I gotta go." He tried walking away, but his father grabbed his arm and pulled him into the hall. I worried for what he was going to say to Jake, and peered around the corner to listen. If he said anything that would hurt my Jake, I'd bust right around the corner and blow up his fatherly charade.
"So, when are you going to do it?"
Jake mumbled, "Do what?"
"Oh come on, I've been watching your bank accounts to see how you've been spending my money. You didn't think I'd just give you money without keeping tabs on you, did you son?"
"What are you talking about?"
"The engagement ring. I saw you purchased one last weekend at Jared's. When were you going to propose?"
"What makes you think it was an engagement ring? Maybe I bought mom a diamond necklace as a last gift." He was choking up, and I could hear how his heart was breaking. Part of me couldn't believe what I was hearing. Was this why he was so eager to talk about getting married?
"Son, necklaces don't cost thirty-five thousand dollars. Don't try to play me. I'm just curious to know why you didn't want your grandmother's ring to carry on the family tradition?"
"First, I bought her the ring last weekend, and I bought the one that I knew she'd love. One that deserves to be worn by her. Second, I wouldn't EVER make her wear the family ring. For one, I wish we were taking her name because it kills me knowing I'm taking away the Ackles family name from her, and giving her ours. So to make her wear grandma's ring isn't even in discussion. She doesn't have a clue about the ring and I'd appreciate it if you kept it that way."
"Well, I'm sorry you feel that way. She's a beautiful girl, and she'll be a wonderful addition to the family. I just hope you can soften your heart and-"
"Don't even go there. Not here. Not now. Don't ask for my forgiveness because I can't. Part of me wants to write you off. I don't want my future children even knowing you exist."
"Wow, well then, call me after the proposal and let me know when the big day is. I don't care how much you hate me, I'm going to be there."
"We'll see."
I heard his father grumble as he walked away from Jake down the hall. I hurried back to my family so that Jake wouldn't know that I was listening. Just as he came back into the room the pastor helped us all into our cars to make our way to the cemetery. It only took ten minutes, and when we arrived Jake, Tom, Jake's Uncle, Parker, my Dad, Jared, Jake's Grandpa and Uncle all helped to carry her casket from the hearse to the burial ground. The pastor said a few words, and then Jake was given the microphone for the closing remarks.
"Mom," He couldn't get past that word. "Mom." He said again as he wiped his eyes and held his mouth to keep from sobbing. "Mom... thank you. Thank you for being the woman you were and are. Thank you for teaching me to stand for what I believe in. I know that your last few years here on earth were far from perfect, but I still loved you through it all. We all did. So thank you, for being you. Until we meet again." He grabbed a blush rose from the vase and laid it across her casket. I grabbed one after and placed it right next to his. We stood back and watched as our family and close friends all did the same. One by one they approached her casket and carefully placed a rose next to ours. They each paid their respects and eventually had all left the burial grounds. Jake and I were the only two left, and I told him I would stay with him as long as he needed.
He knelt next to her grave and cried, brushing his hand across the wood. "Mom, what am I supposed to do?" He sobbed.
I hurried next to his side and cried along with him. I couldn't control my emotions and tried to help him with his. "Jake, what's going on?"
"I can't even tell you," He wiped his eyes, "I just wish she was still here."
I held him in my arms for at least another twenty minutes before he said his final goodbyes. "I love you, Mom," was all he said as we stood to leave. While we walked back to his truck, snow flakes started to fall from the sky and a big smile peered across his face.
"What are you smiling for?"
"She's here." His eyes teared, but they were now happy tears. "My mom once said to me, the snow fall is a sign of loved ones sending their love from afar. She's in a better place now, I know it." His smiled made me smile.
"Come on, let's get you out of the cold." I said, as I grabbed his hand to take him back to the truck. "What did your dad have to say."
He sighed, "Nothing important. I don't really want to talk about it. How about we just drive and watch the snow fall."
"Sounds like a plan." I scooched closer to him and he wrapped his arm around me as we began the long drive back to the ranch. I watched the snow fall and knew that his mom was with us. I knew she loved the both of us, and I loved the fact that she's was able to be there for him in spirit when she could physically. I know how much he loved his mom, and for that I love her too. I just wish she could have been here to see where our lives take us next.