Finally, an update! Although, I must say that this chapter isn't too eventful. Still, I did my best, so enjoy the calm while it lasts. 😜
Also, I really want to recommend a book called The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee because it's such an amazingly beautiful book! It is not on wattpad, however, but it is a relatively new book. It does take place in the 1700s in England, somewhere around the Georgian era, but you don't really have to know much about the historical aspect to love the book. It's so good! (I even cried a few times, and I highlighted sooo many quotes.)
Next chapter will be more eventful, and I will probably publish the character ask answers along with it, so ask questions while you still can.
Enjoy! 😊
Chapter 68:
I woke up the next morning, looking at the clock to see that it was already ten and that the spot beside me in bed was empty. I stretched a bit, still feeling sore due to the activities we decided to partake in over the past night and day. Still, the soreness was a lovely reminder, and I couldn't help but smile and blush at the thought of Zayn and me making love.
I climbed out of bed, deciding that I should probably get ready for the day if Zayn was already up and at it. I grabbed some of my extra clothes and made my way into the shower, remembering how Zayn and I showered together the morning before. It was another step in our relationship, and I was thankful that we were becoming so comfortable with each other.
Overall, I felt good. I was in a mood that couldn't even be described as simply happy because I was so much more than that. It was a flower that was blooming inside of me, emitting its own light and beauty throughout my body and making everything feel wonderful, magical, almost like a fantasy.
I climbed out of the shower when I was finished and dressed for the day, doing everything else I needed to do in the restroom before exiting, grabbing a hold of Zayn's leather jacket before slipping it on and walking out of the room.
I made my way down the hall, smelling food drifting throughout the house, and I felt my stomach rumble. It was such a strange feeling to be hungry, to desire food as I did now. There was still the fear of too much weight gain, but I was slowly getting past that worry.
I made my way down the hall, a small limp from how sore I was in every single step I took. As I got closer to the kitchen, I heard two different voices speaking back and forth, and I was suddenly glad I decided to shower and change but horrified at the obvious soreness behind each of my steps.
I stepped into the kitchen and saw Zayn leaning against the counter while Colette was cooking breakfast. They both turned to look at me as I arrived, but I really wish they hadn't. I could feel my cheeks wanting to heat up, and I did my best not to give away what Zayn and I were up to this weekend.
"Liam, hello, love," Colette said, thankfully walking over to me and engulfing me in a hug. I found myself leaning into her and hugging her just as tightly back. I didn't really realize how much I missed her and her constant love and support. I didn't really pay attention to much when it was only me and Zayn. "How are you?"
She let go of me and held me at arm's length as she searched my face for any sign of negative emotions, but I felt better than ever before if I was being honest.
"I'm alright. Nothing much went on this past week to make me feel otherwise," I assured, seeing her nod, an inspecting look in her eyes before she accepted the answer and turned back to the food in a pan on the stove.
"Zayn insisted upon pancakes and eggs today. Is that okay?" She questioned, looking back at me over her shoulder, and I nodded. I didn't much mind what we decided to eat.
As soon as she turned back around, I moved to walk over to Zayn, sending him a distress single with my eyes at the obvious limp in my walk that I did my best to hide, but he only smirked at me and did his best to hide his laughter from his aunt. Even if I was freaking out a bit over this, I couldn't find it in myself to be mad at him.
"Now, I already had a talk with Zayn this morning, but I really want to talk to you as well, Liam. There are some things I have to discuss with you," Colette announced, and I looked up at Zayn with worry. Did she know? Did Zayn tell her?
He shook his head, pressing a kiss to my temple and resting a hand on my lower back in reassurance. I gave out a low sigh of relief before Colette spoke up again.
"Oh, and I think it'd be a wonderful idea if we had a little dinner tonight. I could cook for all of us, you are both welcomed to help if you'd like, and you could invite your mum. It'd be most lovely to catch up with everyone again," She spoke, sounding very excited about everything. "I'm so glad to be back home with my lovely gentlemen."
"We're glad you're back, as well," Zayn said with a small chuckle. "Do you want me to handle the rest? You could have that talk with Liam before breakfast. Better now than later," He offered, and Colette smiled sincerely.
"I think that'd be a good idea. Are you sure you've got this, love?" Colette asked, and Zayn nodded. He let go of me and walked around to take the spatula out of his aunt's hand gently.
"I think I can manage," Zayn said, giving a teasing smirk, and Colette shook her head with a smile before giving a kiss to the side of his head. Finally, she turned her attention to me.
"Alright, Liam, let's get out of the master chef's way," She joked before motioning for me to follow her, but before I was able to Zayn grabbed my arm and pulled me back, pressing a kiss to my lips before letting me go with a smile.
I blushed as I looked back at Colette to see that she had a knowing look in her eyes. I stared down at the ground as I followed her out of the kitchen, expecting to go into the living room, but she led me down the hall and to her room. There were a couple of suitcases on the bed that needed to be unpacked, so it was obvious she got back only a while before I awoke.
"There's something I want to give you," She said, going over to the smaller suitcase and rummaging around inside of it. She finally pulled out a small book and handed it over to me. I read the text on the front cover and immediately flipped it open to see the pages full of blank lines and an area below each line to fill in music notes. It was an actual song writing book instead of my random journals I keep.
"Figured you'd enjoy it," Colette said with a smile as she moved to sit on the edge of the bed. "I could teach you a bit on the piano, or maybe even the violin, but I think Zayn's pretty keen on being your go-to guide. And it appears music isn't the only thing he's given you lessons in," She said with an expectant look, and I was speechless.
I must've looked like a fish out of water as I opened and closed my mouth, searching desperately for something to say or a lie to tell. Truth was, I don't think a lie would have been believable anyway, not when Colette seemed so sure of what exactly went down between Zayn and me this weekend.
"Oh, don't look so surprised! Liam, you're both practically glowing. Besides, didn't I tell you two that I was your age before? I know how urges go. I'm just hoping you were both careful and that everything was... sanitary, I guess." She gave me a questioning look, and I didn't know how to reply.
We didn't really use a condom, so there was no protection there; we didn't clean up immediately after, so it wasn't exactly sanitary; and the second time we made love was on the piano bench, and I knew not to spill that secret. I guess I took too long because Colette sighed, though she didn't seem mad or anything.
"Teenage boys. What did I expect?" She said more to herself than to me. "Just please be more careful." She still gave me a kind smile and patted the empty spit beside her on the bed. "Now, c'mon, let's have that talk."
I set the song writing book down on her dresser before making my way over to the bed and sitting down beside her as best I could without wincing, and I saw that same hidden smirk that Zayn had this morning on her face. Sure, maybe it seemed amusing to them, but I was so sore that even the slightest motion sent a sting up my spine. It wasn't very amusing on my end.
"Liam, I want to thank you," She suddenly spoke, and I forgot about all of my embarrassment and soreness once I heard those words. They were spoken so sincerely, and when I looked at Colette she seemed close to tears in her thanks.
"Um, what for?" I questioned, feeling a bit lost. If it was for staying with Zayn while she was away, it was more my pleasure than anything.
"For everything."
She looked over to her vanity, eyes searching over the pictures that were beside the frame. Her eyes held that wisp of stardust a person gets when all that floods through them is nostalgia. That shooting star that is a longing for the past, yet looking forward to the future.
"When Zayn was a young boy, he didn't speak much. Most of the time he only spoke to his mum, me, and Louis. He lost his mum too early and the chance of having a younger sibling to care for-- Zayn was always so caring. I stuck by his side from the moment he told me about his dad, and we went through the whole process together. It hurt him so much. Sometimes he would pretend it didn't, put on a brave face for me, but I could see it in his eyes. There was no light to them. They were deep abysses of pain, and I felt so helpless for him."
She paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. "And he had Louis. They've been best friends for as long as I can remember, but Louis never knew. I don't even know if he noticed the change in Zayn's behavior. Maybe he did, but he probably pegged it down to him just missing his mum. Zayn played the happy card so well to everyone, and nobody could ever make him break and just be honest."
Her eyes met mine, and she took my hand before continuing. "You were the only one able to break through that barrier and allow him the help he needed. If I would have suggested therapy all those years ago it wouldn't have helped. He would have completely shut down on me, but he's trying now. He wants to be happy, and I... I am so thankful for that. Thank you for bringing that back, for giving him life in his eyes again," She concluded with watery eyes.
It was a lot to take responsibility for, and I didn't think it was all down to me. It was far too complex to be. Zayn was the one who found the courage to somehow change his shut in behavior and reach out to me. He had the durability to push and push when I tried to block him out. And it was Zayn who came to me when we were both so broken; he mended that crack. It wasn't all down to me.
"I didn't," I replied, seeing a smile fill her features as she understood what I was saying. "Zayn saved himself. He's the one who wants to be happy. He brought life back into his own eyes," I finished.
She pulled me into a hug, and I accepted the embrace, the fact that I was sore once again being brought to my attention at the slight sting of pain that shot up my spine at the sudden motion.
"I love you boys very much," Colette said as she pulled out of the hug, noticing the look of discomfort on my face. She gave out a small laugh and shook her head.
"I'm going to have to have a talk with Zayn about the rules in this house and safety," She announced as she stood from the bed effortlessly. The thought of her speaking to Zayn, especially if they spoke about my soreness, made me flush three different shades of red. It was such an embarrassing topic, but not embarrassing enough to make me regret the action.
"You should call your mum and invite her over for dinner tonight. I'll probably go out after breakfast for some ingredients. That means I'll only be gone for about thirty minutes," She said, explicitly making the time known. She gave me a warning look before leaving the room.
I chuckled and shook my head at how agonizingly ridiculous this was. How did I even get in this position? This moment in my life? It was great, though, so I wasn't complaining.
I got up off of the bed with a small wince, and I sighed. This would take some getting use to.
------------------------------------------------------
"It was so embarrassing! She probably knew from the moment I walked into the kitchen, and I'm pretty sure she wanted to drag it out on me for fun," I said to Zayn, feeling his chest vibrate slightly as he chuckled at my experience talking to his aunt.
We finished breakfast a while ago, and Colette went out to buy ingredients for the dinner she had planned tonight. My mum was more than enthusiastic about coming. I think she missed me more than she hinted at, which brought a weird feeling of warmth within me.
Now Zayn and I were just laying on his bed, completely new sheets on top of it, discussing the events of this morning. Apparently Zayn woke up because he heard footsteps in the hall, and he stayed up in the early hours to speak to his aunt. I didn't even have to ask what the conversation must have been about. I think I already knew. His dad.
"It's alright. She gave me a bit of hell for it as well," Zayn said, shaking his head at the thought of the conversation he must have had with his aunt after she finished talking to me.
"What did she say?" I questioned, awaiting his reply as he groaned at the thought of confessing everything.
"She said that I should have used protection, and when I asked her why she assumed I hadn't, she gave me such a glare that I just accepted her demand. She also said that she definitely wasn't doing the laundry, it would have to be my job this week. She also said that she better never, ever catch us in the act. Or else," He divulged.
"Or else what?" I wondered as I looked up at him.
"I'm not sure. She cut off there, and she just gave me a serious stare. A part of me doesn't want to know, though," He said, looking back down at me. He moved to pull me closer to him, and I winced at the pull on my body.
"Still sore?" Zayn asked, but we both knew that I very much was. I probably would be for a couple of days, so school would definitely be a pain. Damn my hormones and desperation for deciding a second round so soon was a good idea.
"Think I'm going to be for a while. It's not exactly pain free when you're on the bottom," I reminded.
Zayn's eyes grew a bit distant for a few seconds before he shifted closer to me instead of pulling me to him. He pressed a kiss to my forehead and I closed my eyes as his fingers ran through my hair. Every touch sent jolts of electricity throughout my body. I was so calm in the moment, forgetting briefly about the soreness of my backside.
"I'm sorry if I hurt you. It's the last thing I would ever want to do. That pain is... you don't deserve it." His voice sounded regretful and full of agony. I knew he didn't regret what we did, and I automatically opened my eyes to look at his face.
Everything about his body language said he was present in the moment. Even his eyes were fixed on my face, paying me full attention, but behind the caring gaze, I saw the torment. And I understood the double meaning behind his words.
I put my hand over his and looked into his eyes with what I hoped looked like promise. "You didn't hurt me that bad. It's natural, Zayn. You were careful, and I really appreciate that. You didn't hurt me on purpose."
"But I wasn't careful enough. I don't know, maybe I should have given you more time to adjust, or not have pushed so hard, or maybe should have waited until we had protection. I shouldn't have been rough at all, and I-"
"Zayn, you were as careful as you could be. There are plenty of other people who wouldn't have been so careful," I said, not liking the way he was doubting things now. It hurt to think that he could ever regret making love to me, but I tried not to let my emotions get in the way. I needed to reassure him that this was nothing like his past.
"God, I don't even want to think of anyone else touching you that way," He all but growled, and I felt his hold on my waist tighten a bit. There was a bit of anger in his tone, and I knew I had to calm him down.
"Nobody else would," I spoke, but it seemed as if Zayn didn't hear me; wasn't listening anymore.
I grabbed his face between my hands and made him see me, made him listen. "Zayn, look at me," I began, watching as his eyes adjusted to look into my own. "Nobody else would touch me that way. Only you. Okay? Only you because we both love each other, and this was consented to by both of us. We both wanted it, Zayn. And you were gentle. If anyone pushed too hard it was me, but I wanted that. Alright? I enjoyed every second of it. Both times," I tried to remedy.
Still, I could see that same look in his eyes, so I brought our foreheads together, ignoring the slight pain from the stretch, and I pressed a delicate kiss to his lips. "You're nothing like your dad, Zayn," I finally established, his grip on me tightening that much more. "So don't do this to yourself. Don't regret a thing. Don't regret it because it was love. Nothing but love," I assured.
"I'm sorry," He whispered out, but there was nothing he had to be sorry for. I understood his sudden regression. "I'm such a mess."
"You're not," I stated firmly, never once breaking eye contact. "Zayn, even if you forgive someone, the memory of the things they did will still be a constant trial to overcome. Forgive and forget? Some things are hard to simply forget. But that's okay," I assured.
Zayn let out a sigh before pressing his lips to mine in a short peck, bringing us closer together, if that was even possible. "I love you so much. It's terrifying, but it's a good kind of fear."
"I love you, too. It's painful, but I think we both know that I like when it hurts," I smiled innocently, and Zayn gave a small laugh at that.
"When did you become so cheeky?" He questioned, though he was smiling as well, and I couldn't even find it in myself to regret my words or be embarrassed by them.
"You should know. You were kind of the source of that corruption," I teased, accepting it when Zayn laughed once more before kissing me again. And everything felt light and airy and okay again.
"Boys, I'm back!" We heard Colette call from the front room, and I attempted to pull away from Zayn, but he stubbornly kept me at his side, pressing kisses all over my face and neck, which made me giggle at the ticklish feeling.
"Zayn," I laughed happily, my heart feeling so full at this one moment. "Your aunt is here," I reminded, but it didn't stop his kissing attack.
I was surprised when Zayn's kisses suddenly became less playful, his mouth latching down on the sensitive skin of my neck, and I gasped in surprise, a moan leaking from my lips. "Z-Zayn, we should go help," I spoke, but my thoughts were hazy, my mouth feeling as if it wasn't even properly shaping words.
"Maybe," Zayn began, voice sounding deeper and huskier, making me excited. Now was not the time, Liam. "I want to find out what she meant by 'or else'."
I felt his lips travel slowly up my neck, moving to make another mark right where my jaw met my neck. My head tipped back a bit, and I did my best not to moan aloud as my eyes lided shut. I was slowly losing my resolve, and I knew I had to be the rational one here.
"Z-Zayn, as much as I want to- fuck- your aunt is waiting for us," I reminded. Zayn pulled away, looking me in the eyes, and I saw the lust and desire in them. But he surprised me as he nodded.
"Alright. You go first, just give me a moment to, you know," He said, and I looked down between us, seeing that Zayn was already slightly hard. I knew he needed a moment to calm down, and it seemed he could only do that if I wasn't so close to him.
"Maybe tonight I can help you out," I offered. There was no way we were having sex again so soon. I didn't particularly wanted to be limping down the halls of the school building, or at all for that matter. Still, I would gladly give Zayn the release he craved if he wanted.
"Liam," He smiled slightly, "the idea is to make it go away, not get me more excited."
He pressed a kiss to my forehead and pulled away from me. "You go help my aunt. I'll be out soon," He said, and I decided to comply.
I walked out of the room, closing the door behind me and pausing for a moment before finally walking down the hall and making my way to the kitchen. Colette already unpacked all of the groceries she bought, and she was separating everything out.
"Zayn'll be here in a bit. What can I do to help?" I asked as soon as her attention was fully on me.
"Well, you can start by helping me make the salad. Just grab one of the big bowls from the top shelf of the cabinet," She informed, and I walked over to do just that as she added, "You may also want to cover up that love bite before your mum shows up tonight, dear."
I turned to see an amused look on her face. She looked away to begin cutting away at some carrots, and I quickly grabbed the bowl from the cabinet, turning around once more to see Zayn walking into the kitchen. He seemed at ease and... happy.
He was oblivious to his aunt's knowing stare as he walked past her, walking over to where I stood with a light green bowl for the salad to go in. He gave me a peck on the lips before taking the bowl and walking over to where the head of lettuce lay in wait.
There was a vibe of familiarity in the air around the three of us, and among Zayn's calm demeanor, Colette's amused smile, and my blushing embarrassment, I knew there was hardly anything better.