Warning: Negative self-talk as well as running away (idk if the second one is a warning, but if it triggers you, then don't read this chapter I guess)
Also there will be things in this chapter that many will be not fond of...just wanted to state that fact.
1 month and a few days later:
Goodbye world, Kirstin wrote with her favorite flair pen on the ivory sheet of her notebook. She glared down at her abdomen, her eyes burning with bitter tears.
It was all his fault. All her fault. All their fault.
Now, she was left. With an unwanted child and a husband who would never leave her side.
She blinked, her vision blurring once more. She didn't want this child. She didn't want IT at all. She despised the thing, even if it had no fault at all. But even more, she despised herself. She hated her existence, wished she was dead.
She loathed it all.
But, no matter what, everything, including her soul, seemed to stay. This life of hers- it wasn't a simple nightmare she could wake up from. Every day of this disgusting world to see, every day to be trapped within it, sliced with the sharp swords of lies and the piercing truth.
She was pregnant.
She didn't want IT.
IT had to go.
Now.
***********************************
"Good morning!"
Mitch's eyes immediately burst open to see the blond carrying a tray brimming with delights; the aroma of fresh coffee- hazelnut, Mitch could tell- and the syrupy, sweet stack of warm waffles.
"Good morning, indeed! What are you up to?" Mitch raised a brow at Scott's peculiar pleasantness, which had instantly brightened the dark room, as well as the curtains now opened to reveal the shimmering sunshine and the brand-new day.
"Just the typical day stuff," Scott's sapphire eyes twinkled, as Mitch chuckled.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Although Mitch was happy that for once these past few months Scott seemed to be in a cheery mood, it was slightly odd that he was automatically jubilant within these past four weeks.
As Mitch opened his mouth to ask again, Scott forked a piece of the waffle, stuffing it in Mitch's mouth. The sticky, sugary substance simmered in his mouth, as Mitch chewed annoyedly.
"Hey-" Mitch was again cut off by Scott, who used the tips of his thumbs to bring Mitch to smile.
"From now on, the both of us will be happy. We can't let anything get between us ever again. Never again," Scott stated, as if it were that simple.
Mitch's grin fell, as he realized something, even after everything that he had realized for the past few weeks.
"What if I'm the cause of us destroying our friendship? What if I do it again?"
Scott shook his head. "You won't," he said knowingly. "I know you won't. And if you do, I won't overreact again. I promise."
"Okay," Mitch nodded, as Scott joined him, sitting on the bed, biting one of the waffles.
"Excuse you, this is mine," Mitch jokingly batted Scott's arm, as they both continued to eat.
"I'm sure it won't bother you to share," Scott winked, as Mitch remarked joyously, "Shut up!"
"Will do."
***********************************
After finishing her letter, Kirstie signed it, hoping this would be the last time she'd sign anything, in this household at least.
She stood up suddenly, her mind as blurred as her stinging vision, as she threw on a simple t-shirt and sweatpants. She pulled on a coat, holding her dearest item. Her roses- the ones Avi had given her recently. Flower-pressed to preserve its magical presence.
She gazed at the mirror one last time, her eyes wandering over her appearance. Exhausted brown eyes, no longer glowing hazel, colorless locks of no distinct hue. Dark under-eye circles, lips chapped and beaten due to excessive biting; she was merely a shell of her former self. A broken skeleton of her once-optimistic soul.
She was gone- spiritually. She might as well leave, it's not like anything mattered now.
She was a broken soul. With another human growing inside of her.
It didn't matter now. She had to leave.
She stumbled out of the door, down the hall, to the living room. Her pups were asleep, her furry babies embracing one another- they were the only things that mattered in this house. Kirstie knew she couldn't say goodbye to them- they'd wake the sleeping man on the couch, which would destroy everything.
Her eyes flickered over them, Pascal and Olaf giddily dozing- Pascal with one leg in the air, Olaf snuggled onto the other's warm coat.
Jeremy, on the other hand, had his pillow over his head, as if to block the glimmering sunlight from entering his eyes, so that he could peacefully sleep. Sprawled over the couch, wearing a "I'm a Dad" shirt.
They all looked so happy.
And she was the polar opposite.
She had to leave.
Ambling to the door, she cautiously turned off the alarm, before slipping out into the outside world.
The outside world, which she'd barely been out into. For she had tried to run before, Jeremy begging her not to. But now, she didn't care anymore. She was holding a cursed thing within her; she didn't want to care anymore.
So she didn't. She stepped onto the sidewalk, bare-footed- she'd forgotten to wear shoes, she didn't want to go back into the house either-, her body sweltering against the hot, summer sun.
The sizzling sun. The sickening, uneasy sensation within her stomach. Storming tears slashing down. Blurs of cars and bikes. The ebony outline of the black mountaintops and purple trees. Vivid seas of figures, short and tall; the landscape swimming together to form one. Squirrels. Dogs. Stick. Old man. Little hands and feet. Giggling girls. Bundles of boisterous boys. Families strung together.
Happiness.
Happiness everywhere, but inside her.
She walked along the endless road, her destination unknown to her once-planned-out fate. The destiny written for her- now even it did not know where she would end up.
She just continued to walk. And walk. Hoping to end up somewhere with what she desired most. What she envied most.
Joy. Self-acceptance. Prosperity. True love. Life. Adventure.
So, she walked along. Starting her journey with ambiguity, wishing to end up discovering the direction that would lead her where she belonged.
***********************************
It was once a glistening band, dazzling diamonds similar to the night's jewels. Now it was dull, the striking silver faded away. The diamonds now dim, as if they figured out the marriage wasn't going to work before even Esther had.
She took it off her finger, placing it in the jewelry box, her fingertips running down the soft silk lining the inside of the small box.
Abruptly, she closed it shut, as if this sharp action would signify that this marriage was over. For it was over.
Darien watched her from a distance, clearly devastated by his own actions. His stupid drunken mistake.
Esther turned around to meet his gaze, she viewing him with the same sadness within her eyes.
They were both sorrowful, though Darien was full of regret and Esther full of acceptance.
It didn't bother her much. She knew this marriage couldn't work out, especially when her eyes were on a different man for the past few years. She accepted that Darien cheated on her- it was all fine to her.
Plus, every time she talked to Kevin, she felt less guilt, than she had before. As a married woman.
It was s**n to be over. In a few weeks, she'd finally be free.
In a few weeks, Darien and her would be simply friends again, just best friends and nothing more.
She couldn't forgive him to save their marriage, but she could brush this aside. It was for the best- this marriage being over. It was for the best for the both of them: Darien was now free and Esther could now run off and hopefully bring Kevin into her li- Esther shook off these thoughts. She couldn't think like this. She couldn't be excited that she was getting rid of Darien for Kevin. She had to be happy that the both of them were getting what they want, not for her to giggle and dream about a hopeless love with Kevin.
Esther glanced back at Darien. In a few weeks, it'd be officially over. All they had to do was wait.
***********************************
She ran away! She's gone!!! Please help me find her! I've looked everywhere. She's not in the neighborhood either- I don't know where she is!
Avi furrowed his eyes at the blunt text from a man he'd never thought text him in his life. The text that shattered Avi's brain and heart instantly.
Kirstie. His heart pounded against his chest, as Avi sprang out of bed, throwing on a shirt and a pair of jeans as quickly as he could. Tying his shoelaces rapidly, he scrambled outside his house, into his truck once again.
Avi took deep breaths, driving immediately to the direction of Jeremy and Kirstie's house. The radio blared with nonsensical comments over politics and the bizarre weather- Avi barely listened, for he was too focused on trying to find Kirstie.
Too focused, that he passed multiple red lights- he didn't care anymore. He needed to find Kirstie.
Now.
Will Avi find Kirstie? Will Mitch and Scott ever confess their love for each other? Will it be that easy for Esther to simply forget her marriage and move on to find Kevin? Will Jeremy ever find Jeremu?- wait wrong story. But in all seriousness, hope you're somewhat enjoying this and have a great weekend! Goodbye!
(Tomorrow I will update Rockabye, I have to finish writing it lol.)