please don't hate me okay? It's all part of the story!
Picture at the side is of Emily, wearing the outift she wears later on in the chapter.
umm... enjoy? hopefully haha.
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Chapter 17
Emily’s P.O.V
“Thanks girls! I had such a great time!” I called, waving to them as I made my way up the steps to the complex. Eleanor and Danielle both waved back and then turned, walking back up the pavement. Sighing, I hauled my bags up the steps with me. Seriously, I have no idea where I am going to put this stuff. I have brought soo much! I hope Harry doesn’t get mad!
I think Mark noticed that I was having a bit of difficulty, because as soon as he saw me, he quickly rushed forward to hold the door open.
“Thanks Mark!” I said, slightly breathless.
“Here, let me take some of those for you!” Woah. I halted in shock. Did Mark just show some kindness? Wow. I smiled at him.
“Thanks that would be great!” I handed him over about half of the bags. That felt better. My arms didn’t feel as though they were being dragged out of their sockets anymore. We both climbed the stairs and walked over to my door. I assumed the boys were in, seeing as it was about half eight in the evening, so I just turned the knob, pushing the door open.
Harry was sat on one of the sofas, a book in his lap and his face screwed up in concentration. Damn he looked cute. Louis was standing in the kitchen with his back to me, preparing himself some food. On my arrival, Harry’s head snapped up.
“Emily!” He exclaimed, closing the book and standing up.
“Hey Haz,” I huffed, dumping the bags down just inside the door. Harry’s eyes flickered behind me, and widened when he saw Mark walk in, carrying even more shopping bags which were stuffed full.
“Jeez…” He breathed, letting out a low whistle.
“Thanks Mark!” I smiled. He nodded, and then exited out the apartment, closing the door behind him.
“JESUS EMILY!” Louis cried, turning around from whatever he was making. “How much did you buy?!”
“Never give a girl a credit card,” I grinned sheepishly, looking at Harry to see if he looked mad. Quite the opposite really.
“You can take my credit card whenever you want babe. I’m glad you had a good time!” He smiled, coming over and wrapping his arm round my waist.
“Oh I really did! I had such a lovely time. Dan and El are great, and it was so nice to have some girl time. Plus the fashion advice was great!” I winked.
“Question is though…” Harry started, walking over and inspecting the contents of some of the bags. “Where are you gonna put all this stuff?”
“I haven’t really figured that out yet!” I laughed. Harry just rolled his eyes at me, muttering ‘girls’ before walking back to the sofa and continuing with his book.
“Hey guys, I just want to go talk to Liam a sec. I won’t be long!” Louis said, striding over to the door and leaving the apartment.
I went and sat down next to Harry, picking up the remote and switching the telly on. I felt Harry continuously shifting his weight about uncomfortably next to me. I turned to look at him, only to see that he wasn’t paying any attention to his book, but was instead staring off into space, chewing his bottom lip furiously.
That can’t be good. He only does that when he’s thinking really hard about something. Wait… did I just say that? Wow, I must be paying real close attention to him…not good.
Hesitantly, I reached my hand out and placed it on his knee. It startled him at first, but then he brought his eyes round to meet mine.
“Are you alright Haz?” I asked him quietly. He didn’t answer, continuing to chew on his lip. I waited it out though. I knew he would tell me what’s on his mind eventually. Harry isn’t one to hide his feelings.
“I…umm…just…Emily…can I, umm.. ask you something please?” He asked, looking extremely nervous.
“Of course you can,” I smiled at him.
He hesitated, looking down at his lap. I stroked his knee gently, and he looked up to meet my gaze. I smiled encouragingly at him, but he just shook his head. “It umm.. it doesn’t matter.”
I frowned. “What do you mean?”
“It doesn’t matter anymore,” He muttered, opening his book back up.
“Okaayyy…” I said, backing off slightly. That was weird. I shook it off though. He’ll tell me when he wants to.
“Well, I’m gonna put all this in my room and change into something more comfortable,” I announced. I wasn’t expecting a reply, so just manoeuvred all the bags into my room. It took a while, seeing as there were so many, and I only took about two at a time, but eventually all the bags were filling up my bedroom floor.
I quickly stripped off my clothes, and jumped into the shower, letting the cold water cool my body down. Sitting on my bed, wrapped up in my towel, I realised that all my sweats were in the wash. Shoot. Hmm… Harry still keeps his clothes in here. I’m sure he won’t mind if I borrow some?
Hesitantly, I walked over to his drawers, opening a few drawers until I found the one that his sweats were in. I pulled out the first pair I saw and quickly put them on. God, these are so comfy. Why are boys’ clothes so much more comfortable than girls? Smiling to myself, I rummaged around and found one of his baggy tee-shirts. Might as well complete the look. After tying my wet hair up into a messy bun, I stepped back out into the living room.
Louis and Harry both turned to look at me, and Louis threw me a questioning look. “Did you not buy enough clothes today that you need to resort to Harrys?” He asked.
“All my sweats are in the wash!” I defended, walking over to the sofas. I sat myself next to Harry and looked up at him. I swear his cheeks were slightly pink.
“Do you mind Haz?” I asked him.
“No, of course I don’t!” He smiled, slinging an arm round my shoulders. Louis just shrugged, before getting up and going back to the kitchen.
I felt Harry pull me closer to him, his curls brushing against the side of my face. I was aware that he was bringing his face closer to me, and my heart immediately kicked up. His warm breath flew across my skin, and I had to supress that shudder that wanted to run down my spine.
“For the record,” He whispered huskily in my ear, his lips lightly grazing my skin, causing goose bumps to erupt. “I like it when you wear my clothes.” My cheeks burst into flames, and I dipped my head down to try and hide my blush. I heard Harry let out a low chuckle in my ear, and felt him sit back up. However his hold on my shoulders didn’t loosen, and I slowly felt myself drift off, snuggled against his chest.
When I woke, I was still on the sofa, but I was no longer lying on Harry, and a blanket had been placed over me. Sitting up, I rubbed my eyes and looked around me. Louis was sitting on the other sofa, but I couldn’t see Harry anywhere.
“Hey Lou…” I mumbled.
He looked up from his phone and smiled at me. “Nice sleep?”
“Mmm.. yes thanks,” I grinned sleepily. “What time is it?”
Louis checked his watch. “Ten.” He informed me. Oh, I still haven’t text Jake yet.
“Loouuu…” I asked, giving him puppy dog eyes. “Can I borrow your phone again please?”
He raised his eyebrows at me. “What for?”
“Nothing in particular…”
“Emily, you’re not having it until you tell me why you want it.” He told me sternly.
“Urgh, fine!” I huffed, giving up. “Where’s Harry?”
“He went to see Zayn about something, why?”
“I want to text Jake.” Louis’ mouth formed a thin line, and he didn’t look best impressed.
“Why?”
“Because he’s my friend, and I would like to see him again.” I stated.
“But…”
“Louis, I don’t want you telling me who I can and can’t see.” I said. He doesn’t have the right to do that.
“I do if it involves one of my best mates!” He exclaimed. What?! How does it involve any of the boys? He doesn’t even know Jake.
“How did you figure that out?” I snapped back, folding my arms across my chest.
“I…er…it’s…” He stuttered, seeming to look embarrassed.
“Well spit it out Lou.” I said, tapping my foot on the floor.
“It doesn’t matter,” He sighed, producing his phone from his pocket. “Just be careful please?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” His words really are confusing me at the moment.
“Nothing..” He muttered. I let out and exasperated sigh, before storming off to my room and slamming the door behind me. Why do boys have to be so confusing?!
I collapsed down onto my bed and pulled the slip of paper back out from under my pillow.
I quickly sent a text off to Jake, now a master of this technology. It must have been seconds until the phone buzzed with a reply.
“Hey you! Was wondering when you were going to text! :) When are you next free? x”
I thought quickly. I have work tomorrow. Hmm, but I think I have day off the next day.
“Wednesday!x”
“Can we meet up? x” A smile spread across my face.
“I’d love to! When?x”
“I’ll come pick you up at 12! x” I quickly told him the road the complex was on, telling him to wait at the top for me, before saying goodbye and deleting all the messages. When I went back out into the living room, Harry was now seated with Louis, and the TV was playing quietly.
“Thanks Lou,” I smiled, handing his phone back over to him.
Harry sat up a bit, eyeing the phone. “You used Louis’ phone again?” He asked, looking up at me.
“Yes.” I said curtly.
“Why?”
“Oh my god. Why are you all so nosy? Because I wanted to talk to someone okay?” I exclaimed. I was getting sick of all these questions.
“Who?”
I let out a growl of frustration. “Jake! I was talking to Jake! And seeing as you’re being so nosy, I’m seeing him on Wednesday. Can you stop with the questions now?!” I exclaimed, breathing heavily.
I saw a look of shock cross Harry’s face, then turning into hurt, then nothing. He just looked emotionless. He nodded curtly at me, before turning his attention back to the TV.
“Someone’s on their period...” I muttered, before spinning on my heel and stalking back to my room, slamming the door shut behind me.
I didn’t sleep well that night. Every time I manage to drift off, my dreams would be clouded with flashing lights and weird shapes. I would feel as though I was suffocating. I don’t know what it was, but these dreams terrified me. After every dream I would wake up, sitting up in bed, panting with sweat dripping from me.
When morning finally came, I had probably only had about an hours sleep. Dark circles ringed my eyes, and I was struggling to keep my eyes open as I crawled out of bed and stumbled to my door.
Neither of the boys were up, so I quickly had a drink before retreating back to my room to get ready. I felt like a zombie; I couldn’t open my eyes more than halfway, and all my movements were sluggish and slow.
I walked back out into the living room, praying that Louis would be awake. Ahh, seems luck is in my favour today! He was sat at the bar, munching on some Doritos.
“Really Lou? Crisps in the morning?” I asked, my voice thick and croaky with sleep.
He twizzled round to face me, a sheepish grin on his face. When he saw me, however, his eyes widened, and he got up, walking over to me “Jesus, you look like the walking dead!” He exclaimed.
“You’re too kind.” I said, raising my eyebrow at him, sarcasm dripping from my voice.
“Someone didn’t sleep well…” He muttered, backing slowly away from me.
“No, I didn’t. Please could you drive me to work? I think I’ll collapse if I try to walk there.”
“Yes. Yes of course!” He said hastily, grabbing his keys from the bar. “BE BACK SOON HAZ!” He called whilst pulling on his TOMS that were by the front door. He then led me out the door and down the stairs, his hand resting on my lower back for support. I don’t blame him to be honest. I’m scared I might collapse any second.
“Why didn’t you get much sleep then?” Lou asked as he switched the engine of his car on.
No way am I gonna tell. “Not really sure. I just couldn’t really get comfortable,” I shrugged.
Louis dropped it after that, and I had managed to have a little doze before the car pulled up outside Nando’s.
“Thanks Lou!” I smiled, unbuckling my seatbelt.
“Do you need me to come pick you up later?” He asked.
“No thanks. I think I’ll walk. The exercise will be good for me!”
“Are you sure? I’m not even sure you’ll make it through the day!” He said, looking at me with concern.
“I’ll be fine! Stop fussing,” I reassured him. “Thanks again!” I then hopped out the car, heading into work. Thankfully Jenny wasn’t working today. I just wasn’t in the mood for her gossip.
The day passed slowly, and I lost count of the number of times I nearly dropped armfuls of plates due to being so tired.
“Emily, just go home,” I heard the voice of my boss, Dave, say from behind me. I had just dumped a load of dirty plates on the counter, almost dropping them all in the process. I turned to face him.
“But it’s only four? My shift ends at eight,” I told him, rubbing a hand over my face.
“You look like you’re about to collapse Emily. Just go home, get some rest. Just make sure you are full of energy on Thursday!” He smiled. Man, I love this dude.
“Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. I will be! Thank you!” I smiled, before collecting my cardigan and walking out the front door. My smile soon dropped when I realised the walk that I had ahead of me. Fun.
It was still pretty hot. Not as good as it had been yesterday, but much better than the weather we had been having recently. There were people everywhere. Sitting outside coffee shops, walking up the streets with bags of shopping. Taxis and cars filled the roads, hooting as someone pulled out without warning, or a random person flew across the road in front of a vehicle. I loved the buzz of London. It was the life I had always wanted, and now I have it.
When I walk, I don’t pay much attention to where I’m going. Instead, I like to take in my surroundings, watching everything that goes on around me. I like it. It gives me a slight understanding of the way other people work. You get the people who look both ways about a hundred times, before cautiously stepping out and making their way across the road. And then you get the daredevils who just sprint across the road, ignoring the fact that there are vehicles everywhere. You get the couples out on a date, staring at each other lovely across the table. You then get the friendly gatherings, the drunken gatherings, the formal gatherings. So much went on around you that some people don’t bother to take any notice of. But I love it. I love to feel as though I know what is going on around me. It gave me a break from my own life when I was back in Bristol. An old habit I guess.
But that day, I wished more than anything that I pay attention to where I’m going when I walk. I wished more than anything that I didn’t look across to that little coffee shop across the road. I wished more than anything that I didn’t see that mop of curls sat at one of the outside tables. I wished more than anything that his hand wasn’t reaching across, stroking the cheek of the pretty brunette who was sat opposite him. I wished more than anything that she wasn’t looking back at him with such love in her eyes.
My feet seemed to have frozen to the ground. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t do anything but stare. I felt this pain build up in my chest. Building and building until it felt as though my lungs were being squeezed tight. My breath was coming out in short gasps. The pain in my chest was overwhelming. What is this? I’ve never felt this way before.
I did the only thing I knew how to. I ran. I kept going, pushing past anyone who got in my way. I didn’t stop until I reached the complex. At the bottom of the steps I doubled over, resting my hands on my knees, gasping as I tried to get my breath back.
Who even was she? Why was he with her? They looked so cosy and happy. Why do I even feel this way? Sighing, I scrabbled up the steps, punching in the security code and walking into the building. I ignored Marks surprised outburst as I ran across the lobby, straight up the steps. Once I was standing outside the apartment door, I let out a shaky breath, trying to compose myself before I went in.
When I walked in Louis and Eleanor were curled up on the sofa, watching a movie.
“Emily!” Louis exclaimed, sitting up and pausing the movie. “You’re home early!”
“Yeah… I’m going to bed…” I yawned, walking to my room. It wasn’t difficult to act as though I was still tired. Hiding my emotions was my speciality. I closed the door behind me, stripping of my work clothes. I grabbed the closest clothes I found, and quickly pulled them on.
It was only after I had them on that I realised they were Harry’s clothes I had worn yesterday. His scent filled the atmosphere around me, and I felt lightheaded from it. I collapsed onto my bed, snuggling my face into his top, breathing in his scent.
She must have been a girlfriend. Why else would they have looked the way they did? Listen to me though! I sound like such a hypocrite, what with Jake and everything. I deserve this. I don’t deserve someone as good as Harry. I never have, and I never will.
Slowly, I drifted off into yet another very uncomfortable and painful sleep.
It was about 11o’clock in the evening, and Eleanor, Louis and me were curled up on the sofas, watching Grease. I had decided to give up with trying to sleep. I just couldn’t get the all the images of Harry and that girl out of my head. Harry still wasn’t home, and my imagination was driving me crazy with all the different scenarios that Harry and that girl could be doing right now.
Another shudder rippled through my body, and I felt Eleanors arm tighten round my shoulders. They knew something was up. But they didn’t pry. They could tell I didn’t want to talk about it.
It was getting late though, and my eyes were beginning to droop. Having Eleanors arm round me made me feel that much safer. I was just drifting off when the front door slammed. It startled us all, and we turned to see Harry walking in, a massive grin plastered on his face.
“Hey guys! What’s up?” He greeted us, that stupid, beautiful smile never leaving his face. He sat himself down on one of the sofas, grinning round at us all. But when his eyes met him, they widened a bit, and he sat back, startled.
“Emily?! Are you okay?” He asked, his voice suddenly sounding panicky.
“No.” I snapped, getting up from the sofa, and stalking into my room, slamming my door behind me.
I had hoped he would come after me… maybe to show that he cared. But he didn’t. I guess he’s too wrapped up in his happy thoughts with that stupid new girl. I don’t know what’s happening to me. These feelings are all so strange to me. I have never experienced things like this, and I’m really not liking it.
I dived my face into my pillow, screaming with all my might, the sound muffled by the pillow. I don’t know what I was trying to achieve by that…just letting all this anger out. When I was finished screaming I sat back up, breathing heavily.
Harry’s stupid smiling face. Punch the pillow.
That girls stupid brown hair and pretty face. Punch.
Harry and that girl laughing together. Punch.
Everybody around me laughing and smiling as I watched them. Punch.
Punch, punch, punch. I carried on punching the pillow until my muscles were sore and I couldn’t keep it up any longer.
I didn’t feel any better though. That feeling was still swirling around inside me. Sighing, I collapsed down onto my pillow, snuggling down.
The door creaked open, and I watched as Eleanor peeked her head round.
“Hey,” I whispered, signalling to her that I was awake.
“Babe, are you alright?” She asked, walking in and closing the door behind her.
“Not really…” I breathed as she walked over and sat down on my bed. Her hand reached out and stroked some of the hair out of my face.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I shook my head, averting my eyes from her gaze.
“Do you want me to leave?” I shook my head again. I don’t know what it was about her, but she gave me comfort. I felt a bit better when she was here.
“Okay hun. Go on, shove up.” I shot her a questioning look, but she just pushed me across my bed so that there was space for her. She then lifted the cover, and crawled into bed next to me, placing the cover back over us both. She wrapped her arms around me, and I snuggled into her embrace.
I think… I think that it might be that she reminds me of my mum. The way she holds me…it just…it reminds me so much of how my mum used to hold me. God I miss her.
With thoughts of my mum clouding my mind, and Eleanors arms wrapped comfortingly around me, I feel into a deep and dreamless sleep.
When I woke the next day, I had a feeling that I had been sleeping for a while. I clambered out of bed and made my way into the living room. Harry and Eleanor were both sat at the bar, and I couldn’t see Louis anywhere. Guess he’s still asleep.
“Hey guys..” I muttered, rubbing my hand through my hair and padding over to the fridge.
“Morning babe,” Eleanor smiled. “Did you sleep better last night?”
I smiled at her as I straightened back up from getting the juice from the fridge. “Much better. Thank you for that!”
“Anytime!”
I could feel Harry’s gaze burning into me, but I didn’t meet it. I was pushing all those feelings down, and I was scared that just one look would bring them all back to the surface again.
What is this boy doing to me? My wall feels about a foot high now, weak and cracking. My emotions are beginning to get the better of me, and it’s not good.
“What time is it?” I asked as I placed my empty glass in the dishwasher.
“Half eleven.”
“SHIT!” I exclaimed, not caring that it was his voice that answered me.
“What? What’s the matter?” El asked, sounding slightly worried.
“I have to be ready by 12!” I panicked, not sure what to do with myself.
“I thought you didn’t have work today?” Harry asked.
“Umm…I don’t…” I muttered, keeping my eyes down.
“Then why…?” It was then that I brought my eyes up to his.
“That’s when Jake is picking me up.” I waited for his reaction. Shock. Confusion. Then anger. A scowl formed on his face, and a slight growl escaped his lips.
Ha! What right does he have to be angry? It’s not like he wasn’t off gallivanting with some girl last night. He has no right. He’s led me on in every way that I may have led him on. Except I actually do have feelings for him. He, however, clearly doesn’t return it.
“Don’t be such a bitch.” I snapped, before turning on my heels and stalking to my room. I only had time for a very quick five minute shower. And now to break into the new clothes! I had a peek outside my window to see what the weather was like; cloudy, so a bit cold, but the sun was poking through a few gaps in the clouds.
I held up a few different items, trying to figure out what I wanted. In the end I decided on my blue jeans, topped with a plain white vest top and my new beige blazer that Danielle picked out for me. After drying my hair, letting it fall loosely and applying a touch of make-up, I took a look at myself in my mirror.
Not too bad. It will do. I grabbed my handbag, ensuring that my keys and sunglasses were inside it, before stepping back outside.
“Em! You look stunning!” Eleanor exclaimed as soon as I stepped out. Harry looked me up and down, before frowning and stomping over to the sofa, sitting with his back to us. Rude.
“Thanks,” I smiled.
“Give us a twirl then.” Eleanor clapped, just as Louis walked out his bedroom. I spun round, letting her see my whole outfit, a smile plastered on my face. I wasn’t used to compliments.
“Stunning,” Eleanor breathed, smiling at me.
“She’s right Em. You look great.” Louis said, walking over and placing an arm round Eleanor’s shoulder. “What’s the occasion?”
“I’m seeing Jake.” I said. He raised his eyebrows at me, but didn’t say anything more.
“Hey, isn’t that the blazer Dani picked out?” Eleanor asked, breaking the silence.
“Yeah! I really like it!”
“Same. It looks great on your figure! Damn, that girl has good fashion sense,” El sighed.
“I’ve gotta go now! Jake’s picking me up about now!” I said, heading towards the door.
“Have fun!” Eleanor called.
“Thanks! Bye boys!”
“Byee! Don’t be out too late!” Louis said cheekily.
“I’ll try not to,” I winked. “Bye Haz?” Silence. Definitely on his man period. Oh well, shrugging, I turned and left the apartment.
As I got to the bottom of the steps and looked up the road, I saw a car idling against the pavement. I cautiously walked up to it, and when I was about five metres away, the drivers door opened and Jake stepped out.
“Hey,” He smiled, pulling me in for a hug.
“Hey you! So where are we off to then?” I asked as I pulled back and walked round to the passenger’s side of the car.
Once we were both seated and buckled in, he turned to me and winked. “You’ll see.”
Throughout the car journey we held light conversation. It wasn’t strained. It wasn’t awkward. It was…nice. I felt myself relaxing into it.
The time seemed to go fast, and it wasn’t long until Jake parked the car up, cutting the engine.
“We’re here!” He smiled, opening the door and getting out the car. I was just grabbed the handle of my own door, but suddenly Jake was there, holding the door open for me.
“Thank you very much sir,” I said in a mock posh accent. He just grinned at me. I looked behind him to see where we were. We were parked in quite a small off road car park. At the top, a long hedge ran for a while, before turning out of sight. Amongst the hedge, there was a big, black metal gate, with a sign over it that read ‘First Street Park’. I smiled to myself. I love parks. They’re just so…peaceful.
“Come on then,” Jake said, appearing behind me and placing one hand on the small of my back. We walked towards the gate in comfortable silence. Just as we were making our way through the metal gates, I noticed something in Jakes other hand.
“What’s that?” I asked him, pointing at it.
“I brought us a picnic!” He grinned, looking very pleased with himself. I smiled back, but couldn’t help but notice that his smile was nowhere near as beautiful as Harry’s. But then I remembered that girl, and my mind instantly clouded with dark thoughts.
No. I mustn’t get like this. I just want to enjoy my day with Jake. I can deal with Harry later.
We walked along a muddy track for a while, trees towering over us, blocking out most of the sunlight. After about half an hour, Jake led me down a track that wasn’t marked.
“Jake? Where are we going?” I asked nervously. There were roots and branches everywhere, and I had to put my attention into my feet to ensure I didn’t trip up on something.
“You’ll see!” He called behind his shoulder at me. Huffing, I followed along behind. Why did I have to wear my new blazer? Hopefully it’s still alright.
Suddenly, the trees cleared, opening up into a tiny clearing. The trees formed a little circle round the grassy area that must have been a tiny but bigger than my bedroom. Small daisies were scattered around, and the sun was shining down through the break in the trees.
I gasped at its beauty.
“Jake, it’s beautiful.” I breathed, staring round in awe.
“I know,” He smiled. “I come here a lot when I need to think things through, or just to have a bit of peace and quiet.”
“Did you find it yourself?” I asked.
“Umm, no my dad showed it to me. I think he found it.”
“Wow…” I didn’t really have any words.
Silently, Jake walked to the middle, placing the picnic basket down at his feet. He reached down and pulled a checked blanket out of the top, laying it out on the ground. I chuckled lightly. This was so traditional. The wicker basket and red checked blanket. I walked over to him, and we both sat ourselves down on the blanket. I watched as Jake slowly began to produce bits of food from the basket. God, he’s got everything. Sandwiches, pringles, scotch eggs, strawberries, jam tarts, crackers, cheese, jam… you name it, he’s got it.
“Jake, this looks lovely!” I smiled at him, helping him arrange everything out.
“Anything for you,” He smiled back, before blushing slightly and engaging himself with sorting it back out again. I felt my own cheeks heat up at his words. He’s so sweet. He would be perfect for me. But I just couldn’t get Harry out of the back of my mind.
“Well, dig in!” Jake announced, clapping his hand together. I tentatively reached out and picked up one of the cheese and ham sandwiches. I’m not gonna lie, it was one of the best sandwiches ever.
“Mmm, Jake this is so good. Did you make these?” I asked him, with a mouth full of food. Whoops, I bet that’s attractive. I felt my cheeks flush with embarrassment when I realised, but he just laughed at me.
“Yeah I did,” He said, still laughing slightly. “Didn’t your mum ever teach you to not talk with your mouth full?” He teased.
“Oh shut up!” I said, slapping his arm.
“Thank you for today Jake. I’ve had a really nice time.” I said.
“Me too…” He answered. We were still in the clearing, but now lying down on the blanket, side by side, absolutely stuffed from the feast Jake had brought. We were gazing up at the sky, watching as the clouds lazily floated past.
I felt Jake stir beside me, and I turned on my side to see him move so that he was propped up on one elbow facing me.
“Hey Em…” He began, fiddling with the hem of the blanket, “Can I ask you something?”
I smiled back at him. “Of course you can.” I tried to sound encouraging, but inside my stomach was doing somersaults. What does he want to ask? Why does he sound so nervous?
“I was just er… wondering..if…you er…” He stuttered. Has he been taking speech lessons from Harry or something? I smiled at the thought, and he seemed to take this as a smile of encouragement.
“I was… was wondering if you would be my girlfriend?”
What?!? My mouth gaped open in shock. Did he seriously just ask me that? Be Jakes girlfriend? Why? No, no, he shouldn’t be asking me this. Wasn’t that what I was thinking though? That fact that he is what I need. He would be good for me. We get on great. He makes me feel good about myself. The way his eyes twinkle when he looks at me is gorgeous. He’s just gorgeous. But is he what I want? Yes Emily, he is. I tried to convince myself. He’s perfect. Exactly what I always thought I would look for in a guy.
But Harry? What is even happening? I’ve fallen hard for Harry. I know I have. Why am I even in this situation? Harry is what I want. Those gorgeous curls, the cute dimples when he smiles at me, the way he chews on his bottom lip when he’s nervous, the way his arm fits around my waist when we are cuddling on the sofa, the way his lips leave tingles on my skin whenever he kisses me on the cheek, the way when he holds me, and everything in the world feels perfect. I felt my heart flutter just at the thought of it. Jake doesn’t make me feel that way.
But Harry has her. That girl. My eyebrows furrowed at the memory of it. He’s my Haz. Not hers. What does she think she’s doing, taking him from me?
“Umm…?” The voice startled me, and I realised that Jake was still sat there waiting for my answer.
What do I do?! I began to panic slightly. This would be my first boyfriend. My first everything. Do I want that with Jake? No, I want that with Harry. But Harry has that girl. But my answer…?
“Yes!” I blurted out, shocking myself. Oh my god. Did I really just say yes? I saw a massive grin spread across Jakes face. Looks like it.
I smiled back at him, and he pulled him in, wrapping his strong arms around me. I hugged him back, a bit unsure of how to act now.
“Wow. Thanks.” He breathed, leaning back. “I was really nervous about that.”
I laughed, hoping he didn’t pick up on the nervousness of it. “Well… you didn’t need to be!” I smiled.
We must have been lying there for about another hour, the same as before, only this time, Jakes arm was tucked around my shoulders. Eventually, the sky began to darker, and we could hear the faint call of an owl in the background.
“We should head back,” I told him, sitting up. “I don’t want the boys to worry.”
“Oh, okay,” He said, also sitting up. I got up off the rug to allow him to fold it up and place it back into the basket. Once everything was packed up, Jake grabbed hold of my hand, and we walked back, away from the clearing, back to the car, the same way we had come.
Only this time, everything was different. I had a boyfriend. A boyfriend that I knew I felt nowhere near the same for as he felt for me. I felt the guilt rise up in me as I realised this. I don’t want to hurt him. He has to be one of the sweetest guys I’ve met. He doesn’t deserve me. I’m not good for him.
He isn’t Harry. That same thought just kept running through my head, over and over. His hand fits differently in mine. Mine and Harrys felt like two puzzle pieces fitting together perfectly. You know when you get two puzzle pieces that don’t seem to quite fit, but you force them together anyway? That’s what mine and Jakes hands felt like together. Forced.
We reached the car, and I buckled myself in, resting my head against the window. Jake turned the radio on quietly as we drove home. I wasn’t really listening to it though, watching as the light drizzle began to fall from the sky.
The weather resembled how I felt. It was sunny, I was happy, Harry and I were great. But now, it’s not right. I don’t want to be with Jake like he wants to be with me. And now the sky was mirroring my feelings. Grey…miserable. I sighed to myself, feeling my eyes slowly drooping.
“Emily… wake up baby, you’re home.” I felt someone shake my shoulder, and slowly peeled my eyes open. Jake had opened my door, and was leaning in, his hand on my shoulder.
“What?” I asked, confused as to what was going on.
“You’re home now,” He said, stepping back.
Oh. Great, now to face the boys. I unbuckled my seatbelt and climbed out the car. Jake wrapped an arm around my waist as we walked up to the front door. I turned to say goodbye, but Jakes grip tightened.
“I’ll walk you to your door,” He told me, opening the door once I had punched in the security code. No idea where Mark is. We silently climbed the stairs, and walked across the lobby to my door.
“So this is it,” I smiled, turning to face him.
“Yep. Sleep well babe. I had a good time today.”
“Me too,” I breathed. He leant in and pecked my cheek, before wrapping his arms round me. No tingles. No spark. What am I doing? After we pulled back, I placed my hand on the door handle.
“Oh, by the way..” Jake said, making me pause my actions. “Thank you for saying yes.” I blushed, and smiled at him.
“Of course.” I said, opening up the door. I walked into the apartment, but turned to give him once last smile.
“Bye babe,” I said, waving at him.
“Bye! Text me!” I nodded, before closing the door slowly.
I turned to see Louis looking expectantly at me from the sofa.
“Uh… Hi?” I said awkwardly, kicking off my shoes and plopping myself down on the other sofa.
“Nice time?” He asked.
“Umm… yeah.. thanks..” I said hesitantly. I think he picked up on this, because he raised his eyebrow at me. However, before he could answer, the front door opened, and Harry strode in, shaking droplets of water from his hair. Lou and I both turned to look at him. He smiled at Lou, before moving his gaze to me. I was expecting him to still be angry, but instead, his smiled stretched even wider, and he bounded over, sitting down next to me and flinging an arm round me.
“Emily! You’re home! How was your day?” He asked. I don’t know, but I thought all this seemed quite fake. His grin was a bit too wide. His voice was a bit too cheery.
“Umm, it was great thanks Haz..” I answered hesitantly, eyeing him carefully. “How was your day?”
“Oh, my day was splendid thanks! Absolutely wonderful!” Okay, this really isn’t Harry. I threw Louis a questioning look, but he just shrugged his shoulders at me.
“Get up to much then?” Harry winked. I stiffened. I’m going to have to tell them. I might as well get it over with.
“Uh, yeah. I need to talk to you two actually. I momentarily felt Harry’s body tense up beside me, but he quickly shook it off.
“Shoot!” He smiled. I looked over at Louis, who was sitting up a bit straighter.
“Well, um… Jake kinda… asked me to be his girlfriend.” This time, Harry’s body tensed up, and stayed tense. His grip on my shoulder was beginning to get a bit painful. I didn’t look at him. I couldn’t. Instead, I kept my gaze on Louis.
“And what did you say?” Louis asked, cocking his head to the side.
“I umm… I said yes.” I muttered. I heard a growl beside me, and the next thing I knew, Harry had leapt up from the sofa, yanked the door open and stormed from the flat, slamming the front door shut behind him.
I couldn’t move from shock. My eyes staring at the door he just left from. My heart was beating fast, and my emotions were in a complete mess. I wildly turned round to face Louis. He was sat back against the back of the sofa, his mouth formed into a thin line.
“What was his problem?!” I cried, grabbing at my hair.
“He’s hurt Em.” Louis whispered.
“Why?” I asked, sounding ruder than I expected.
“When are you going to open your eyes and see the facts Emily?” Louis said, frustration evident in his voice.
“What facts?” I asked, confused.
“It’s not my place to say Em, but give him time.”
“I don’t understand..” I stuttered, leaning back. “Should we go after him?”
“No.” Louis said sternly. I was a bit taken aback by his tone.
“But…”
“Leave it Em! Just give him space. He’ll come around.”
“I hope so…” I whispered. I’ve fucked up. Big time.
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I'M SORRY OKAY? PLEASE DON'T HATE ME PLEASE. IT'S ALL PART OF THE STORY I PROMISE. JUST DON'T HATE ME. KEEP READING OKAY?
I know you probably didn't enjoy that, but like....yeah.
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