jihun was watching TV with heejun in their small living room but the boy's attention was elsewhere. heejun was laughing and clapping his hands as he watched the man on TV fall into the pool but jihun's eyes wandered to and fro the hallway that led to their rooms.
not being able to take it anymore, jihun stood up earning a questioning glance from the maknae.
"oh, i'm just uh hungry"
heejun nodded as he averted his attention back to where it belonged.
jihun sighed in relief as he headed towards seungjun's room. food was always the solution to getting seungjun's attention and it had never failed in luring seungjun out of his room. in all honesty, jihun was never really hungry for food, he was just hungry for seungjun's attention, presence and love.
knocking on seungjun's door quietly, jihun waited for a reply and when there was none, a small frown appeared on his face. jihun slowly slid seungjun's door open and his frown deepened as the room was dark and only illuminated by a lone lamp on the desk. however, there was nobody in the room.
"what are you doing?"
a deep voice sent shivers down jihun's spine and he turned around to come face to face with youjin.
"ah nothing. i was just hungry and wanted to see if seungjun wanted to eat with me"
"seungjun went to the practice room so he's not here"
jihun's eyes widened a little in shock.
"practice room? at this hour?"
it was nearly 10PM and jihun was surprised that seungjun was still practising.
"yeah. he's with inseong. they went out like an hour ago."
jihun gulped as soon as he heard the word 'inseong'. he stared into youjin's still eyes before muttering something about going to see what they were doing. youjin just gave a small nod before he moved to their shared bedroom, in hopes to fall asleep before the rowdy maknae line would come in.
jihun was now walking towards their practice room. he regretted not thinking anything through or bringing a jacket because the air was chilly. the walk was not far and each step only boiled something in jihun.
when the YNB building came into sight, jihun abruptly stopped. 'what am i even doing right now? what am i doing here? who am i to even barge in on them?'
an array of thoughts ran through jihun's mind. the boy had come to acknowledge the fact that he indeed liked seungjun more than a member or even friend. but he had also promised himself that he would never do anything to sabotage the group. that meant keeping his feelings to himself to avoid awkward situations and the breaking of their teamwork. it was his job as the leader to keep the group in harmony and that was why he had kept his feelings secret for almost 2 years.
'argh stuff it' jihun thought as he rushed forward, pushing the door open to the building. he walked to their practice room, 'i'm the leader so i should at least know what they are doing, gotta make sure they're safe too'. jihun nodded to himself as he pushed open the door.
as soon as he entered, jihun heard loud giggles and laughter coming from both boys. his heart hurt a little as he advanced forward, seungjun and inseong hadn't even registered his presence.
noticing a shadow, inseong immediately turned his head to see their leader walking towards them.
"oh, jihun! what are you doing here?"
jihun scratched his head and gave a weak smile as both inseong and seungjun were staring at him in surprise.
"ah, i was hungry and youjin told me you guys were here, so... you know, wanted to eat together"
jihun watched as seungjun's smile grew bigger and bigger while his eyes turned into crescents. 'if only i had that effect on seungjun', he thought to himself.
"kimchi~! we were going to eat bbq after this! now we can eat together!", seungjun said excitedly as he stared at the blonde boy standing in front of him.
jihun only smiled as he bowed his head a little to hide the subtle blush that had formed. he loved it when seungjun smiled and said his nickname.
"what were you doing here?" jihun asked. he tried not to sound too investigative or serious so he forced a smile as his eyes flickered between seungjun and inseong.
"ahh, we were just playing with sally. come here!" seungjun said as he beckoned jihun to sit with them. grabbing a spare chair, jihun pushed in between seungjun and inseong as he casually blocked the two.
"sally! who is KNK?" inseong asked.
jihun watched as the other two members eagerly awaited for a response and then both burst into a fit of laughter and giggles when a response was given.
jihun could only watch as he felt his heart burn. seungjun had known inseong for much longer than the time he had met seungjun. seungjun and inseong had been trainees before at a different company together before both leaving to other agencies and then meeting again to form KNK. jihun had always been envious of that. he thought it was something called being 'fated to be together'. seungjun and inseong's chemistry was awesome. they always made jokes and laughed with each other and they were both touchy people. it made jihun burn with jealosy.
jihun sighed as he watched seungjun smiling brightly. he wanted seungjun to smile brightly at him too. more so, he wanted to be the reason seungjun was smiling so brightly.
"yah. kim jihun! wanna ask something?"
jihun woke from his daydreaming as he looked at inseong who had asked him.
"uh sure"
deciding to put seungjun off his mind, jihun focused all his attention on trying to find playing with sally fun. and in a short time, jihun was fairly amused with it as he asked questions with inseong. now, jihun and inseong were laughing loudly, leaving seungjun out.
seungjun looked on at the two younger boys on his right. they were laughing so loudly and looked so happy. seungjun's eyes focused on the blonde boy. kim jihun. 'your laughter is so pretty and everytime i see you smile i want to hug and kiss you' seungjun thought.
seungji had always been a fan favourite and seungjun reminisced on that. during their predebut and debut era, seungji was by far the most favourite ship. as they grew, more ships appeared but seungji was the only one seungjun cared about. he loved being paired with jihun by fans and even the company sometimes. every time seungjun would see that he had been paired with jihun for a photo shoot or any schedule, a big smile would form on his face.
seungjun had always wished that one day jihun would smile and laugh so brightly because of him. seungjun's eyes focused on the sight in front of him. lately a thought had been bothering him. a new ship was being sailed amongst fans "jiseong". even though he would tell himself not to, seungjun had watched a few of their fmv on youtube. and it bothered him. inseong was a sweet boy and had a way with his positive energy. seungjun was worried that jihun would take a liking to the said boy.
jihun was, he was fantastic, amazing. jihun, in seungjun's eyes was perfect. seungjun had been bothered for a couple of weeks and had even thought of confessing to jihun before anything could happen between jihun and inseong. but he didn't. how could he when he knew the consequences that would follow? not only would the two of them suffer, but the rest of the group and their fans would also be heartbroken if there was anything negative between the members.
"seungjun lets go eat now!"
"oh-uhh yeahh"
jihun watched seungjun, worried for the older as he seemed so dazzled.
inseong had packed his bag and was already out the door before seungjun could even come back to conciousness.
"you okay?" jihun asked, voice laced with worry.
seungjun nodded as he flashed jihun a smile before grabbing his bag to leave.
seungjun and jihun had walked for a bit and were starting to get annoyed.
"where is that jeong inseong!"
after leaving the building, inseong had disappeared and the two boys couldn't get in contact with him. inseongs phone had died before and so the two boys decided to eat chicken and beer by the han river.