Guess what bold means?
"Braxton where are you taking me?" I asked as my mate carried me somewhere.
We're going on a trip, in our favorite rocket ship, flying through the- sorry.
"Keep your eyes closed, my honey pumpkin poodle muffin." Braxton replied.
Wasn't somebody legitimately just dragged out into the woods and murdered?
Waiting was agony!
Whatever happened to school?
"Are we there yet?" I asked.
Keep your fuckin' eyes closed ya hoe bag. Errm...
"Okay, open your eyes." Braxton set me down. I opened my eyes and saw a beautiful dress! (DRESS UP TOP)
That's...that's not a dress...
"OH MY GOD BBY I LOVE IT!!" I squealed in joy.
"I KNEW YOU WOULD!" Braxton squealed and we jumped up and down. "Also, here is the other half of your present." he pointed at three random girls and Eric just standing off to the side awkwardly. "They are to be your new best friend, and they will take you shopping right now for everything you could ever want.
YoU cAn'T gIvE hUmAnS aS pReSeNtS
"OHMYGAWD BBY. THEY'RE SO PERF."
RANDOM TIME SKIP TO MALL THAT SOMEHOW EXISTS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FOREST IN A LITERAL WEREWOLF COMMUNITY
"WOW, guys Ily." I said in a platonically platonic manner that implied a platonic feeling.
STOP SPEAKING IN TEXT TALK, OKAY?
"WOW, we love u 2 hon." the three random, undescribed, but totally smokin' chicks and Eric said in perfect unison because they are all essentially the same person except Eric is male.
What tf is even going on in this heckin' story anymore.
At the end of our shopping extravaganza, I had bought a mol of slutty dresses (happy mol day), 666 skank bras, 9999999999999999 originally radically fresh hipster outfits, 1 million Botox injections, 45 pounds of hot pink eyeshadow, a can of red paint for lipstick, 69 pairs of ripped at the vagina jeans, 3.14159........ different wedding dresses, some fuck me in the sexy ass 'cause I love Jesus lingerie (that was the brand name for adult diapers), and a pair of ugg boots with Kim Kardashian's face on it.
I wish I had gotten more stuff, sad face.
WHHHHATATTATAT??!??!?!
At the end of the day, Eric and the three girls, whom I names Katelyn, Katelin and coocoo-neeweee-hogpoo, spent the night at my house.
What house? Your mom's house?
Braxton had been nice enough to give me my own villa. Ugh, but I wanted a mansion! Whatever, I'll just have to live with it.
Just stop.
THE END OF CHAPTER 18