Metanoia [Ushijima x reader]

By IROIHS

213K 7K 5.5K

Metanoia - the journey of changing one's mind, heart, self, or way of life Ushijima x Reader fanfic Story sta... More

Chapter 1 : Near death experience, I think
Chapter 2 : Sorry, I think
Chapter 3 : USHI-WHAT'SHISFACE?!
Chapter 4 : Pole of Destiny
Chapter 5 : A Fateful Night
Chapter 6 : Dream?
Chapter 7 : Prelude to Interhigh
Chapter 8 : All Things Lost
Chapter 9 : In Her Eyes
Chapter 10 : Misunderstandings
Chapter 11 : Now... what?
Chapter 12 : Behind Oikawa's Eyes
Chapter 13 : The Volley of the Balls: The Fellows of the Ace
Chapter 14 : The Long Week Begins...
Chapter 15 : The First Ripple
Chapter 16 : Side Effects
Chapter 17 : Sometimes it's okay to ask for help
Chapter 19 : A Change in Perspective
Chapter 20 : Start of Something New
Chapter 21 : Opening Act: The Cat in the Box
Chapter 22 : Two Steps Behind
Omake 1: Locker Room Shenanigans: A Classy Conversation
Chapter 23 : Tangential Thoughts
Chapter 24 : Coffee, Candy, and.. Clouds?
Chapter 25 : Boy Friend's House Visit
Chapter 26 : Summer Rain

Chapter 18 : It Felt Soft

6K 217 344
By IROIHS

A/N:

I just realized I've been updating quite frequently... I never thought that such a time could come...

Anyway, in celebration for finally starting my internship I give you guys this chapter~

Hope you enjoy! ^^

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The cool breeze brought by the early morning entered your room, pushing your curtains the slightest—the light brought by the sun illuminating the gap made. The comforting harmony of the warm sunlight with the cool breeze brought about a soothing feeling to your senses, effectively relaxing you as you awoke. You let out a satisfied moan as you stretched out your arms above your head, taking in the comforting ambience the morning has brought upon you.

You rose from your bed and languidly walked over to your study table, a smile gracing your ample lips as you trace the soft material of the handkerchief placed over your table. A blush slowly making its way to your cheeks—only a moment's away from being plunged into your world of daydreams when you heard a faint knock on your door.

"(f/n)-chan, I packed all your toiletries in the black pouch. Don't forget to pack it with your other stuff later alright? Breakfast will be ready soon" Hana, your family's house attendant, said from the other side of the door.

"Alright, thank you" you responded. Carefully, you lifted the white handkerchief with both of your hands before pressing your cheek against the soft fabric.

Days had passed since that certain event, with you hiding away in the gym's storage room and Tendou's outburst over the intercom. Of course, it was to be expected that the coach was furious, more so over Tendou than over you, although you weren't sure if furious quite fits the man's anger. A bit of gamma radiation and he would have hulked out and smashed anyone he sees. Thanks to Tendou's admirable yet stupid decision of mouthing to the entire school, the whole team was punished with 10 gruelling laps around the field. Afterwards, and without so much as a break, they must also execute a minute's worth of wall sit with a 10-pound weight perched upon their thighs. Volleyball player or not, the punishment was absolute hell to them and to you as well as you had to help them recover from this hell. Let's just say that that day the boys had to go home with trembling legs and you, with sore and numb fingers.

It seems like those happened quite a long time ago. The bullying, Tendou's speech, your moment with Ushijima, the hellish training, all of it, feels like it didn't transpire only a week or so ago. You checked the calendar hanging on your door, "it really hasn't been that long huh," you sighed as you inhaled the scent from the handkerchief for the nth time this week (even though you washed it the night you came back home with it). You stared at the red circle you made at the calendar labeled 'Golden Week Camp~~.' Finally, you will be going with the team to their training camp and as per the coach's orders, you'll be lodging with the boy's during the event—in separate rooms, of course.

You nuzzled your cheek one last time against the smooth material of the handkerchief Ushijima 'gave' you before laying it back on your bedside table. You hurriedly walked over to your closet and got dressed into the official volleyball club tracksuit consisting of a pair of maroon trousers and a white jacket with maroon accents. The tracksuit hugged your curves perfectly, the trouser thankfully not making your ass look bigger than it already was as you just had to be born with a plump butt (and sadly a not-so prominent chest). Grabbing a nearby hair tie, you tried to tie your hair into a neat and clean ponytail but ended up having it prepped into a messy up-do that at least worked in your favour.

You checked yourself out in the mirror for a good minute before slinging your bag over your shoulders. You slapped your cheeks repeatedly and with a sharp exhale pumped both your fist in the air.

"I can do this!"

***

Ushijima exhales hard as sweat trickled down his brow, a lone bead of sweat falling from his face unto the small puddle forming above the mat on the floor. His jaw clenched as every muscle in his arm felt strained, the hard ridges of his abs flexing in unison with his arms as he pushes himself down but not really making contact with the hard wooden floor; the hard muscles of his back rippling along with the continuing motion of his arms. The soft fabric of his sweatpants—being the only clothing that was currently covering him—was practically matted to his lower half as sweat continued to drench the material. But nevertheless, he pushed on—breathing in time with his motions as he repeatedly pushed himself up and then down. (Love this part lol)

Warm, humid air suddenly filled the room as the bathroom door opened behind the olive-haired ace. Unbothered by the appearance of one more person, Ushijima continued his work out until the sound of a camera flash echoed in the room. The sudden noise made him pause his workout. He turned a bit to glance at the redhead standing behind him with a knowing grin on his face—a towel splayed over his damp hair as he stood half-naked with only a loose towel covering his lower half.

"What are you doing, Tendou?" Ushijima asked; his voice a little breathless due to having been exerting himself for a good hour.

"Oh, nothing! Just a little gift for someone I know" Tendou grinned wickedly.

One of Ushijima's eyebrows quirked up curiously before dismissing Tendou's odd behaviour—not like it hadn't happened before. He pushed himself off the ground, giving both his arms a good flex before he reached out for his towel.

"You usually don't push yourself like this before golden week starts..." Tendou sneered, "could it be that you're getting excited at the thought of having (f/n)-chan staying under the same roof as us? That's quite naughty~ Cleanse your MIND, Wakatoshi-kun!" Tendou teased while playfully bumping shoulders with the olive-haired ace, his index fingers crossed over each other to form a makeshift cross.

Tendou watched in resigned silence as Ushijima walks towards the bathroom unfazed by his attempt to get him flustered.

"Well, should've expected as mu-"

"Maybe" Ushijima replied with a light shrug before closing the bathroom door behind him.

Tendou's jaw dropped, his eyes widened, his phone almost dropping from his hand as he loosened his grip in shock as he continues to gape at the wooden door. "NO. FREAKING. WAY!" Tendou yelled in pleasant surprise, his hands finding purchase in his hair, tightly grabbing unto his tresses as it took him everything to internalize his best friend's sudden remark, not giving mind to the loose towel covering his lower half dropping to the floor due to his sudden movement. As the millennials say, he was shooktd.

***

"HURRY UP AND HAUL YOUR ASSES! If your butts are that heavy then go to the toilet!! I don't care if you vomit or fall on yer face! Get the damn ball you idjits!!!" you shivered at the loud resonance of the coach's voice. Mentally noting to yourself that it was not a good idea to sit right next to the coach during practice.

Washijou huffed out a breath, his chest visibly heaving from having yelled for too long in what you would like to think as the loudest voice he could muster before settling himself back down on the bench. "How are they?" he asks you a few minutes later, his eyes moving around the court as he continues to monitor each player. Being met with silence, Washijou turns to you, the normal fierce look in his features as he once again asks, "How are they? Which one of them needs a break?"

Registering his words, you allowed a small smile to paint your lips, feeling happy at the thought that despite being the demon coach, Washijou—deep down—cared for his team. You shook your head in response, gesturing to him that everyone was doing fine despite the intensity of the training. "I see, as soon as you see someone going beyond what they can manage be sure to tell me. I don't want to have to see another one of my players waste away" Washijou says, his tone both solemn and gruff.

"Yes" you replied, your tone almost as solemn as his knowing that his words were specifically pertaining to your brother. Pushing yourself out of your thoughts, you went back to the task at hand and made sure to watch each player intently—jotting down on your notebook their progress for every set of work-outs pushed unto them.

-

Once lunchtime came, everyone looks visibly tired, their sweat staining a great majority of their shirt leaving it drenched. Quickly, you moved from one player to another, handing out towels, bottled protein shakes and of course, a fresh t-shirt. By this time, although you would still blush, you were quite used to seeing them half-naked as you were forced to get used to it as some of them—Tendou, in particular—would simply strip himself off his shirt as if it was no one's business. But not one of them had prepared you enough to see Ushijima in all his six-pack glory.

You immediately froze, an unintelligible sound escaping your mouth as you stood in front of the half-naked ace wide-eyed and mouth agape. His eyes met yours and you squeaked in both fear and awe, realization now only dawning at you that the last shirt you were holding in your hands was his. Crap.

Ushijima walked over to you, his chest heaving thanks to being pushed to his limits with the intense training session. The tight lines of his pectorals moving in time with his breathe as the sharp ridges of his abs remained flexed. "How can he be this ripped?! He's still a second-year high school student for god's sake! Ohcrapohcrapohcrap!" you mentally yelled to yourself as he drew closer and closer.

The rapid beating of your heart sent your mind into a frenzy, your nerves being frazzled to the core as blood rushed towards your face, painting your features in deep rouge and yet your eyes continued to wander. From his tight pectorals to his sweat-soaked chiselled abs, you continued to take in the sight of him; the look on his face engraving itself into the deepest core of your memory that you were sure was going to keep you up at night, blushing and unable to sleep.

He was only a few feet away from you, close enough that you can distinguish his smell from the others (which you mentally noted was both weird and awesome, but mostly weird, at the same time), and at that point you couldn't take it any longer. "NOOOOO!" you screamed before throwing his shirt roughly—directly hitting his face before making a beeline out of the gymnasium and towards the canteen. Pulling the material off of his face, Ushijima tilts his head in confusion at your retreating figure before looking towards his teammates—trembling as some held tightly unto their stomachs while others tried to cover their mouths before Tendou finally breaks the silence and laughs his heart out, followed by everyone else.

Ushijima looked at them blankly before shrugging and covering himself up with the fresh shirt. His mind solely stuck unto one specific topic during the whole endeavour to get his shirt.

"I wonder what's for lunch."

~ Day 3 of Golden Week

The canteen was teeming with people, players flooding the room as people from different clubs also occupied the area. However, thanks to a certain reserved table—finding a place to eat come dinner was never difficult for you or the rest of the team.

Your eyes remained plastered on your notebook, your food laying forgotten right next to you as you continued to tweak and fix each member's progress and data. You scrutinized each page, making sure that you didn't forget anything before placing the notebook atop the finished pile on your left. Seeing that your work was done, you stood up whilst placing a sandwich in between your mouth before carrying the pile unto your hands.

"Ah! (L/n), you're not eating right again! I swear you're as bad as Wakatoshi but at least he finishes his food!" Semi scolds as he pushes himself off of his seat in an attempt to pull you back down on the table.

"It's hopeless. Once she gets in the zone like that there's no stopping her" Kawanishi says in a matter-of-fact tone before munching on his food.

"A volleyball freak through and through" Reon fondly states. "By the way where's Wakatoshi?"

Semi sighs in defeat as he slumps back down on his chair watching you exit the canteen in complete ignorance of his order, "he's back at the court practicing, he says he wanted to practice his serves a few more times before going to bed."

Tendou hums gleefully before clapping both his hands before him, thanking the meal with a content smile before grinning to his teammates with an ear-to-ear smile. "It's cute how they suit each other so well yet they're both too dense to realize it" he purred happily, his statement being met with a unanimous nod among the group.

***

You stretched your arms above your head with a content sigh. The hallway of Shiratorizawa was dark with the lights being out, the moon's bright light being your only source of illumination in the dark area. You hummed a joyful tune as you walked when the loud rumbling of your stomach suddenly broke through the silence. Placing a hand over your stomach, you began to caress the rumbling vacuum inside of you through your clothes as you groaned miserably. "Should've eaten when I had the chance..." you thought solemnly, cursing yourself for getting too lost in your work.

You couldn't help it, with Golden week nearing its end, Inter High was drawing nearer and nearer. The excitement of finally being able to stand on the same court as the team and Ushijima overwhelmed AND frightened you—a million thoughts swarming in your head at that realization.

What if you weren't good enough? What if someone got hurt and you blanked out? What if a meteor crashes down directly unto the stadium where the team would be playing? Hey, you were unlucky... you knew things might happen.

These thoughts sent you into a nervous frenzy causing you to work ten times harder than before, pushing yourself to the point that you actually forgot to eat once. An image of Tendou's 'I can't believe it!' face saved on your phone to forever remind you of said event happening. The thoughts, however, didn't help you in the slightest with Ushijima. Thanks to his sudden stripping—IN FRONT OF YOU—during the first day, it became excruciatingly hard for you to look at his face, let alone talk to the olive-haired ace. But being the person that he is, it never stopped him from approaching you normally and you felt thankful for that or else you might risk never being able to look at him normally again.

"The canteen is closed by now; I should just buy something from a nearby vending machine" you mumbled to yourself when a familiar sound caught your ears. Stopping at your tracks, you peered outside the window and saw that the lights at the volleyball club gym were still on. Briefly glancing at your wristwatch, your brow quirked up in curiosity, "who could be practicing at this time?"

Placing your hand inside your jacket pocket, you checked to see if the spare key to the gym were still with you. Once smooth metal hits your skin—confirming that the key was indeed with you, you immediately made your way over to the gym.

You arrived in front of the gym doors with ragged breath, the rumbling of your stomach now forgotten as your attention was drawn elsewhere. Exhaling deeply, you pushed the green net open to give you access inside the gym, your mouth ready to scold whoever was practicing at such a late and godforsaken hour.

Yet, you remained silent—awestruck even.

Your (e/c)-colored eyes sparkling in reverence, time passing by in a slow pace as the cause of that sudden distortion in motion seemed to float in the air. The beauty and perfection in his form left you stupefied and your feet glued to the floor as you watched him with bated breath.

The ball made contact with his hand with a loud thump, the powerful execution of his serve baring itself at the intensity of the sound the ball made as it made contact with the gym floor.

"Wow..." you said breathless.

He landed on the floor with a sharp inhale, his chest heaving as he pants for air. "How long has he been practicing?" you thought to yourself, your eyes—although hesitantly—moving away from him to see the vast number of volleyballs splayed all over the floor. Tightly, you gripped unto the ropes of the green net, your teeth biting tightly unto the hollow of your cheek until finally you found the strength in you to speak up.

"S-S-S-SPIKE PRACTICE!!" you yelled catching his attention. Ushijima's dark olive-green eyes making contact with your own as he glanced at you, "I-I'll toss... well, throw some balls towards you... I-if you don't mind" you muttered, your voice gradually going weaker and weaker to the point of mumbling as you finish your sentence.

"That would be helpful, thank you" Ushijima said making you look up at him, relief washing over your features as you happily walked inside.

-

Time seemed to fly by as the two of you spent the night practicing. The sound of the ball being the only noise to bounce off the walls, the two of you spending most of the time in a comforting silence as you continued to toss the ball up high in the air towards him.

Grabbing the last ball from the ball cart, you threw it up high while yelling, "Three-person block!" Visualizing a real-life match as the last ball made its way in the air. The corners of Ushijima's lips tugged up faintly—yet briefly—and quickly he began his run up. Jumping off the ground, he visualized the three-person block before him and with all the strength he had, spiked the ball over. The ball landed on the floor with a loud thud and you cheered happily, "AND Shiratorizawa Academy is going to Nationals! Whoooo~"

Ushijima scoffed in amusement at your childish joy before he once again resumed his usual stoic demeanour. "We'll definitely win at Nationals. I'll make sure we do" Ushijima says and you paused.

Walking towards him with a bright and determined smile, you held out your fist towards him. "We'll definitely win!" Ushijima glances down at you before bumping his fist along with yours, "of course."

-

It was already midnight when you and Ushijima were finally seeing the completion in your clean-up job. The equipment properly stowed away and only half the floor was in need of mopping. "Do you have the key for the gym?" Ushijima asks, taking a pause from his job as he glances over to you standing outside the storage room.

You glanced back at him, "Yep! I got it right here... Whoops..." you chuckled nervously as you eyed the key that was dangling in your finger. Wrong key.

Ushijima shrugs and points towards the door, "you go and get the spare key from the faculty, I'll finish up here."

"Y-yes..." you mumbled before making your way out of the gym.

***

You pressed your palms roughly against the expanse of your back, pressing your thumbs at the knots that were forming and groaning audibly once you've managed to free yourself off of the pain. "Ahhh... if Washijou coach were still awake I'd definitely get scolded for indulging Ushijima-senpai with his late night practice" you breathed, thankful that coach Akira got the demon coach drunk from a nearby restaurant.

You hummed as you walked the long halls, thankful that despite still getting lost to and from your classes during school, you were at least able to navigate yourself properly towards the gym. Anywhere else, you were hopeless—much to Shirabu's annoyance.

Carefully, you twirled the key around your finger when the faint rustling of leaves outside made you flinch—the key thankfully still attached to you despite your state of shock. Quickly, you ducked down out of sight before crawling your way towards the window. Pocketing the key in your jacket pocket, you carefully fixed your position so that you were now facing the window.

Cautiously, you placed your fingers over the slight ridge where the wall meets the window and as carefully and slowly as possible—peeked outside. You moved your eyes from left to right, your breath held and your hands clammy with sweat as paranoia started to ingrain itself into your nerves. Seeing as it was only due to the wind, you let out a breath of relief, your forehead making contact with the smooth surface of the cool wall as you tried to regain your bearings.

You chuckled in your thoughts, slapping your paranoid self for over-thinking before lifting yourself up on your feet whilst stretching your arms up high.

"Did you get the key?"

Your body froze with your arms still stretched up high; your whole body paling at the sudden appearance of another person. You almost screamed with your arms high up when you found enough sanity in you to think about the many people who were currently sleeping and forced yourself to cover your own mouth with your two hands. You panted heavily against your palms, your chest visibly heaving as you struggled to regain your breath.

"I'm sorry..." Ushijima blankly states but you swore that there was definitely an amused glint in those impassive eyes of his.

You whined childishly as you walked over to him with trembling legs, your right hand tightly holding onto your jacket for dear life—feeling the rapid beating of your heart as your other hand remained close to you. You opened the window with your free hand, "please don't do that again Ushijima-senpai... I almost peed my pants here" you whined, feeling a few tears gathering at the corner of your eyes.

"You were taking awhile so I was planning on meeting you half-way but then I saw you peeking out the window" Ushijima says before extending his hand towards you. "Key," he requests.

"Please call out to me first next time Ushijima-senpai" you sighed. You grabbed the key from your jacket pocket and handed it over to him through the window. You blinked twice when realization hit you, a giggle escaping your lips before you placed both of your hands over the window sill.

"Maybe it's because the floor's slightly elevated here but nevertheless, I never thought I'd live to see the day I'd be able to look at you face-to-face" you giggled, your comment making the olive-haired ace surprised—only realizing now, the proximity of your faces had with each other.

Ushijima blinked, his left hand casually reaching out towards you until finally it reached its destination. His hand was now nestling your cheek in his palm. Ushijima stared at you blankly, you were no longer laughing, your eyes confused and—for some reason—terrified as you gaped at him. "Are you eating right? You're looking thin" Ushijima asks impassively, his deep voice sending jolts of electricity throughout your system. His hand making your mind go haywire and melt like putty against his hand.

"(L/n)" he said, this time with a concerned tone that you swore was too soft to be considered Ushijima's voice.

"Y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-YES!!!" you squeaked. The expanse of your body no longer tinted in the pale skin color you were born with as you now donned a bright red hue. Your heart was beating rapidly against your chest that it was deafening your ears. Hurriedly, you tried to make a hasty retreat away from Ushijima, or risk getting a heart attack. But as always, fate seemed to have something else in store for you.

Not noticing that your right shoelace was untied and currently being stepped on by your left foot, you tried to make a run for it... right foot first. The sheer intensity of your desperation to escape making you topple over and trip forward.

Ushijima's eyes widened, his hands quick to reach out to support you as you were practically falling out the window. (Mind you guys, you're still on the first floor).

Everything went by like a blur, the events happening in less than a second's time as Ushijima's hands never made contact with your body in time thanks to the sudden situation the both of you caught yourselves into. His hands, instead, finding purchase on the window sill in front of him while your hands found itself tightly gripping unto the fabric of Ushijima's shirt. Your and his hands holding on for dear life against the inanimate material it found purchase upon, your minds blacking out in sync while your hearts continued to beat in a wild frenzy.

His eyes widened, dark olive-green eyes dilating at the unexpected onslaught. Your eyes being in the same position as his as all the two of you could do right now was stare like a deer staring in headlights at the person in front of you.

For a moment, both of them shared the same thought. "Soft."

The both of you remained glued into place for a couple of seconds until finally, being the first to register your thoughts; you carefully—and hesitantly—detached your lips from his—your lips lingering on his for a couple of seconds before finally pulling away. His lips and yours partially parted open and panting, finding yourselves breathless at the sudden incident.

You blinked repeatedly, your cheeks sporting a bright red hue as you backed away with putty-like legs until finally it gave way from under you. You landed on the floor with a thud, the pain not even comparing to the way you found yourself completely shaken—unable to accept the reality of the dream-like situation.

You just kissed Ushijima Wakatoshi.

With shaking hands, you reached up to your lips. The gravity of the situation weighing itself upon you until finally tears began to stream from the corner of your eyes. Embarrassment overwhelming your already flustered state, you pushed yourself off the ground and without so much as a word quickly ran back towards your dorm room as fast as your trembling legs could take you.

Despite you running away Ushijima remained frozen. The tall ace rooted on the ground remaining motionless in the same position he was left in—his mind unable to bring itself back to its usual state as that one word continued to bounce back and forth across his mind.

"Soft."

He stayed there for a good couple of minutes until finally his mind was able to power up with the help of someone's insistent nudging coming from his right. Ushijima peers over his shoulder, Tendou's curious eyes making contact with his until finally Tendou spoke up, "It's past midnight and Semi was starting to get worried that you'd keep playing until morning so I went out to find you but here you are standing and staring into nothing! What are you doing, Wakatoshi –kun?" Tendou asks, a curious brow quirking up the slightest as he tilts his head in confusion.

Ushijima inhales sharply before letting out a shaky breath, "Nothing..." he said. A hint of vulnerability in Ushijima's voice making Tendou's brows shot up high. This was not the usual Ushijima he knew.

"I'm going to sleep" Ushijima states before moving past the redheaded middle blocker. Tendou watches in confusion as Ushijima walks away, uncharacteristically hitting a few objects here and there until finally the olive-haired ace enters the building.

"What the hell happened?" Tendou muttered already ready to leave when his eyes caught sight of the spare gym key lying on the ground.

Picking up the small key, Tendou looks from the window to where Ushijima retreated to before looking at the key in his hand. His mind was going in circles, unable to click two-and-two together.

"What the hell happened?!"

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A/N: FINALLY! You guys have no idea how much I wanted reader-chan and Ushijima to kiss!

Also, I know that usually in a dormitory, tenants don't have their own bathroom in their rooms but for the sake of the story I kinda tweaked it a bit (hey, Shiratorizawa's a rich school so who knows?)

Anyway, like I said, my internship days are now starting so I hope you guys can be patient with me as I will REALLY (REAAAALLLLYYY) be taking my time to update cause... med duties... (and I want to graduate...)

So, there you have it! As always, thank you for all your votes and comments and I hope you guys enjoyed this story! ^^

And although I'll take awhile, I promise...

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