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Sorry that I haven't updated in a while. I have had some medical issues I have had to work through. i think that i may have it settled now. I hope, anyway.
There is only a couple of more chapters left in my little story. I hope those of you who are still reading enjoy this chapter. I did put a lot of effort into this one. There is a lot of dialogue. There is insight into the Mother's POV. we see that she may even feel a little left out of the family.
I also left you with a little cliff hanger. You're welcome.
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“Thanks for lettin’ me come, guys. I love to ski, but our boat’s been broken,” Johnny grinned as he spoke to my dad.
“No problem, Johnny,” my dad replied. “Maybe we can get Savannah out there today,” he finished as he patted my shoulder.
“Maybe,” I settled back into my seat as I waited for my dad to drive the boat away from the dock. My orange life vest kept me from really being able to get comfortable in the seat. The vest was backless. It covered my front and had a large neck that acted as a ‘pillow’ if you were in the water. The straps were tight and wrapped around the vest and my body.
Dad was seated in the Captain’s seat at the wheel. Georgia was seated in the other captain type seat beside him. Johnny and I were sitting on the bench seat behind them. I made sure there was a space between us because I knew my dad didn’t know that we ‘liked’ each other yet. I didn’t want to tell him at all.
Within a few seconds we were speeding across the lake with the wind whipping at our faces. As the boat built up speed it began to bounce and a fine spray of lake water coated my arm and face. I loved the speed, but not the bounce. I tried to hold myself to the seat by gripping the sides. It didn’t really work and I kept bouncing with every hit the boat made on the wake of the other boats on the lake.
I felt Johnny slide closer to me and wrap his arm around my shoulder trying to hold me down to the seat. I smiled at the gesture until Georgia turned to see. She changed her expression from happy and fun-loving to one of fear. She trained her gaze on Johnny and gave a small shake of her head signaling for him to take his arm from my shoulder.
He got the message and quickly dropped his arm and slid away. I looked over to my dad to see that he hadn’t turned to see the small display of affection. Johnny looked at me questioningly, but I just looked away concentrating on the clear spray bouncing off the side of the boat.
My emotions were battling within me. What would happen if I just told one person what my dad was really like? As we sped to our usual spot I wondered if Johnny would believe me if I told him. I wondered how the conversation would actually go. I also wondered if it would make it better, even just a little.
When we finally made it to our spot I jumped up first. I knew I needed to clear my head before I gave into the tears that had been threatening for the last few minutes. I jumped into the lake sinking into the cool water before my life vest pulled me back up. Johnny slipped the skis into the water and shoved them towards me. Georgia tossed me the rope that would pull me behind the boat.
I held my body so that my head and feet were both above water so that I could secure the skis to my feet before Holding the long handle and giving the thumbs up to my dad so that he could take off and pull me to my feet with the speed of the boat.
It took me a couple of times to get up on my feet. Each time I dropped the rope, my dad circled the boat around me and I had to grab it again while he yelled at me to try harder. Well, that motivates a person to do better.
On my third try, I got to my feet and glided across the water. I felt the smile stretch across my face as Georgia clapped her hands as she sat on her knees in the bench seat beside Johnny. Every time they asked if I’d had enough I shook my head. I was having too much fun to stop.
When my legs began to shake from exertion I dropped the rope and fell back into the water allowing the life vest to keep me up. I used the time it took the boat to circle around to rest my arms and legs. The boat stopped a ways away from where I was laying limp in the water. With my arms shaking I took the skis off and swam to the boat. Georgia lifted me into the boat with ease before I sagged onto the bench seat.
Johnny and Georgia each took a turn on the skis before we went back to the dock. Everyone seemed to have fun. I decided that I was more than ready to go home for a nap before dinner. Georgia and Dad agreed and Johnny just nodded his head in disappointed agreement.
On the way back to the house Johnny sat with Georgia and myself in the back of Dad’s pickup truck. We all laughed as we made fun of ourselves and our skiing adventure.
“Do you want to come over to mine tonight for dinner?” Johnny looked shy as he asked.
“Well, I don’t think my dad will let me, but I’ll see you tomorrow, okay,” I smiled weakly at his disappointed face.
“I’ll see you then,” he sighed as he jumped out of the truck as we were parked in front of his house.
I smiled and wiggled my fingers in a wave as he jogged up his driveway backward.
When we got back to our place Georgia agreed to let me shower first, after a heated game of rock, paper, scissors. After my shower I snuggled into my bed and drifted off to sleep.
It wasn’t a dreamless sleep. In fact, I had a wonderful dream. When Georgia woke me for dinner I tried to remember it, but couldn’t.
“What’s wrong with you, Sav,” Georgia asked with concern as she sat on the bed beside me as I hadn’t gotten up yet.
“I had a dream and-,” I said emotionless before Georgia cut me off.
“Don’t bring it up again that I die. I don’t want to know about it if I can’t do anything about it, Sav,” she shook her head sadly. “I want to be here for you, forever.”
“No, it wasn’t that dream again. I can’t remember what happened in the dream. I just know that it was all about happiness. That’s what’s wrong, I’m just trying to remember what made me so happy. I don’t think I’ve ever been that happy before.” I sat up and hugged her.
“Well, that’s good. Maybe I don’t die young and it all turns out fine,” she chirped happily as we both got up and headed to dinner. Somehow I wasn’t sure that would be the case.
Walking into the kitchen, I walked over to Mom and helped her get everything together while Georgia set the table. She asked me why Johnny didn’t come back for dinner and I told her that he had to eat at his tonight. She looked good. Her and Dad had been getting along well lately and I knew that’s why she looked so good.
Mom told us that Dad was on the telephone and that we would go ahead and start eating dinner without him. She had fixed an easy dinner of grilled chicken and vegetables with melon. When we had it all on the table we sat down and just talked together for a few minutes waiting on Dad.
Mom told us that she and Dad had gone shopping the day before. She told us that they had gotten sandwiches at a deli and ate in a nearby park. Her smile lit up her entire face while she was telling us about the fun she had. Mom said that Dad had planned another day out for them tomorrow. I smiled secretly thinking that Johnny could come over without dad’s watchful eyes during their outing.
Dad walked into the kitchen as Mom was telling us that they would bring a movie home for us all to watch together tomorrow night. She looked up at him with a warm smile, “Ah, we waited for you. Sit down and we can all eat.”
He looked at her with a sad half-smile, “Sorry, sweetheart, I was on a call with Luke at the office.” He stood behind her while he spoke with his hands on her shoulders before kissing her head and sitting beside her when he was done apologizing.
“Is everything OK?”
“Well, no,” he said seriously. “Luke needs me to come into the office, so we’ll need to head for home in the morning.”
“Why,” I whined thinking about the plans I already had with Johnny.
“Luke needs me. Don’t worry we’ll come back real soon,” he encouraged as he ruffled my hair across the table.
“OK, when are we leaving? I kinda already made plans with Johnny for tomorrow,” I tried to sound uninterested, but in truth, I was desperately waiting for an answer.
“Well, you should call him tonight because we’ll be leaving as soon as we eat in the morning,” he answered as he put food onto his plate. “Besides, I think you’ve spent enough time with him. You’re getting older and shouldn’t be playing with boys so much.” I tried to respond, but he raised his eyebrow signaling the end of the conversation.
After that, only Mom and Dad carried on conversation. They discussed what should be packed to take with us and what could stay. It was decided that we’d come back on Friday evening. That was only a couple of days away.
I looked over at Georgia who hadn’t said a word since our dad came into the kitchen. She was pushing food around on her plate sadly. She must have felt my gaze because she looked up at me and smiled a sorry excuse for a smile and took a bite of food.
After dinner I called Johnny to tell him the bad news. He took it pretty well and said that we’d hang out Saturday when I came back. I agreed happily.
We all watched a movie and went to bed early that night because we were getting up early the next morning.
Georgia and I slept all the way home the next day and then helped unpack the van. We hadn’t brought much back with us because we were going back in a couple of days. Dad rushed off as soon as we were done with the bags.
Georgia took a shower and got ready to go out. She had agreed to take me so I followed suit. It took us a three hours because she did my hair and made a few phone calls. Mom tried to get us to eat lunch with her, but Georgia said we were in a hurry. I felt a little sorry for Mom because she was trying hard lately to actually be a mom.
My stomach did a few flips as I slid into the passenger seat of Georgia’s car. I hadn’t been in it for so long I had almost gotten comfortable that my sister was safe. Getting into the car reminded me that she wasn’t and that I was just waiting on my horrible dream to come true.
We ended up at our favorite restaurant for lunch. We sat at our usual table near the window so that we could see what was going on outside. Sometimes we enjoyed making up stories about people we saw outside.
Just as we sat down I saw Ms. Betty from church as she was leaving. I could tell the minute she saw us because her face lit up and she almost ran to us as her friend went to pay their bill.
“Hey, girls, I haven’t seen you two at church lately. I hope everything’s okay,” she said in one breath as she scooped me into a bone crushing hug. She kissed the top of my head and moved to give Georgia the same treatment.
“No, it’s fine. I just haven’t felt like coming to church lately, that’s all,” Georgia replied coolly.
“Oh,” Ms. Betty replied sounding a little put off, “well, I hope you feel like coming again soon. I really do miss the both of you. If you don’t want to come to church, you can always just come to my house to see me.” Ms. Betty sounded hurt.
Georgia just smiled and hugged her again before she left us to order our food. I knew that Georgia hadn’t wanted to go to church since she didn’t have her baby any more, but I never asked her about it. I didn’t know if she was mad a God, or ashamed for what had happened. Either way, I knew God still loved her and would wait patiently on her to heal.
We ordered our food and were half way through a story about the older man who sat in his car in front of the restaurant when I saw Russ walk in. Georgia must have seen my expression change because she turned around to see what was going on. As soon as she saw him, she jumped up and ran to him. I knew they would need some time alone and our food hadn’t been served yet, so I took a few quarters from Georgia’s purse and went to the corner to play a game of Pac Man.
I saw the waitress bring out our food and then played one more game before Russ waved me over. I went over and received my second bone crushing hug of the day.
“I’ve missed you, City.”
“Me too,” I said as I hugged him back.
We both took our seats again as Georgia and I ate. Russ ate half of my burger and some of Georgia’s fries. We spoke about plans while we all ate. Russ and Georgia were to meet up tonight and I had agreed to stay home with Mom. We expected that Dad would be out really late so I should be safe.
Russ told some jokes and made us laugh a little after then plan were ironed out. I hadn’t seen Georgia this happy in a while. It made me happy too. I bet that if Georgia still had their baby they would be good parents. Maybe, if Georgia moved in with Russ, I could move in with them too.
Back at home Georgia got prettied up and I stayed outside listening to my radio for a while. I danced around to Prince and Madonna. I felt carefree and I knew it was because I couldn’t get that dream out of my head, the happy one.
Georgia came bouncing out of the house and kissed me goodbye before bouncing over to her car. My good mood went down the drain as she opened her car door. She must have seen the emotion on my face and misunderstood what was behind it.
“You’ll be fine, Sav. He won’t be home until late and She hasn’t been drinking,” she gave a weak smile as she plopped herself into the seat.
“Yeah, we’ll have fun,” I smiled back.
She gave a small wave and started her car. I watched as she pulled out of the drive and disappear down the road. Then, I turned and went into the house with my bad mood intact.
“Hey, sweetie. Dinner is almost ready. It’s just you and me tonight so, I made us some pasta and chicken. I know you like that.” She was so chipper and I began to look forward to the evening with her.
“I’m gonna go wash up. I’ll be right back,” I said as I kissed her cheek.
I went into the bathroom and listened as she sang in the kitchen. It was almost as if she was looking forward to spending time with me too.
Mom was placing the plates on the table when I came back into the kitchen. I grabbed two glasses and poured sweet tea. We sat down and ate together. We discussed me. She actually asked questions about my life and how I felt.
I told her small things about myself because I still didn’t trust that she really cared. I didn’t want to take the risk that she would make fun of my immaturity for not knowing what to do about Johnny or that she would believe me about my dreams of Georgia.
After dinner we went to the fruit stand down the street and got some strawberries. We had a lot of fun doing that. Mom looked good with the smile on her face. Then, I realized, I had one too.
At the end of the evening I laid in the bed with Mom watching television. Her favorite show, Hawaii Five-O, was on. It had been a long time since we had spent this much time together.
When she laid down, she hugged up to me and settled down to watch the show. I felt secure in that moment. I felt loved. Maybe, for the first time, loved by someone other than Georgia.
“You know, Savannah, I love you very much,” she said with emotion.
“I know, mama,” I replied.
“Sometimes it is so hard to be in this family,” she began. “Your Dad is very hard to get along with and you and Georgia rely on each other so much that there isn’t really room for me. Neither of you really need me. She loves you as if you were her own. Did you know that she would give up anything for you?”
I kind of did know that, but I don’t think I knew the extent. So, I just nodded my head. She was behind me so she couldn’t see the tears as they escaped.
“I want to protect you, I do. I just can’t do it like she can,” she continued. “It seems that she is the one who protects us both sometimes. I tried to get away with you both, but it would never work. I’m just not strong enough.” He voice was full of emotion.
I breathed in the smell of her bed. The sheets smelled of fresh linen and were soft against me cheek. I built up the courage to speak, “I know you love us, Mom. We love you too. I promise.”
“Don’t feel bad, sweetie. That’s not why I’m saying this. I’m going to stop drinking all together. I’ve been doing a good job at it. It’s been a while since I’ve been in a bad way. He’s not so bad when I’m not drinking. He cares about us, I promise. He does.”
“I know, Mom.”
“No, he does. You’ll see, I’ll be there for you long after she leaves you. She won’t be able to stay away from Russ much longer. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was with him tonight.”
“What do you mean,” I asked confused. “Why couldn’t she have us both?”
“She didn’t tell you? That was the deal she made with your father so he wouldn’t hurt you anymore.”
My breath caught in my throat. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I was the reason Georgia didn’t have her baby anymore. Then I knew, It was a choice she had to make. It was all my fault. I couldn’t breathe. I began to cry out loud.
My mother held and rocked me. “I thought you knew. I thought she would have told you,” she cooed.
“No,” was all I could choke out.
She rocked and soothed me until I fell asleep in her arms.
When I woke up in the morning I was in my own bed. I sat up and saw that Georgia was still asleep in hers. I sat up on my pillows to think. I had to ask her about what I learned last night. She couldn’t stay here because of me. If what my mom had told me was true, I was the reason she didn’t have her baby anymore.
I thought about it for a while. I decided to let her sleep, but I’d ask her about it when she woke up. I moved off my bed quietly not wanting to wake her. There was no reason to make the confrontation come any quicker, right.
I went into the kitchen where Mom and Dad were already there having breakfast. I sat with them and made small talk. I could see that Mom was worried about me. She wanted to make sure that I was OK and that I wouldn’t say anything to Dad.
I gave her a reassuring smile and continued eating. My eggs barely passing the lump in my throat. My dad asked if I was ready to go back to the lake tomorrow and I said yes. I really did want to get back to the lake because that meant less time with either of them.
Just as we were discussing our plans for the weekend at the lake, the doorbell rang. I jumped up and ran to the door. Dad was a ways behind me.
I opened the door to see Russ standing there.