It's been a month since the incident and since then I have been locked in my bedroom talking to no-one. Today is the day I can't be in my room anymore, today I have to get out. Today is when I go home. I'm so excited, I'm getting to see my mom, my nieces, sister and brother in law. I can't wait. My nieces are my life.
"Yo alyssa you ready?" I hear seth shouts. I'm in my room right now checking to see if I'm leaving anything and walk out when i see i haven't. The boys already took our suitcases down to the car. Ashley, Sarah, Jack, seth and I are going to barbados. Ashley is coming because I don't know what I'll do without her. Plus she's always wanted to meet my mom.
We're in the car heading to the airport. Everyone makes conversation while i'm sitting in the back up against the door making sure that Sarah doesn't touch me. Jack and seth are up front jacks driving, seth has shotgun, Sarah is in the middle in the back and Ashley and I on the end. I've been by myself since the incident. Thinking about it, dreaming about it, it has affected me badly, if I wasn't by myself, then people would try to hug me and show pity, and it makes me look rude for not hugging them back and walking off.
"We're here" jack says. We park the car and start walking to the airport entrance. We go through security and walk through the door to our plane. I go to my seat and sit, then I see jack sit right next to me. I move closer to the plane window
"Shouldn't you be sitting with your fiancé" I say turning my head to look out the window.
"My fiance looks like she's having the time of her life with little surfer boy there" he says and points to a flirting Sarah feeling the poor man hands up.
"Hm who would have guessed" I said sarcastically and turned back to look out the window. The plane starts driving off. I hate being in planes, there's nothing better than being in a piece of metal thousands of feet in the air.... note the sarcasm? My hand automatically goes to the chair handle and holds on tight while my eyes shut. After a little while we're in the air, I'm still trying to calm myself. All I can think about is how many more flights I have to go on to get home. I feel like I can't breathe. I start hyperventilating, jack notices and get a bag and gives it to me.
"Alright that's it breathe, in and out, alright, you'll be okay" jack says. He continues saying reassuring things in my ear until my breathing goes back to normal. I remove the bag and lean back on my chair breathing out a big breath.
"You alright now?" Jack asks worry on his face.
"Yes, i'm-i'm okay now" I tell him.
A few minutes later I'm back to normal. I just let myself relax a bit before opening my eyes again.
"If you hold onto that handle any tighter it'll break" jack says. I turn to look at him and I see he is now reading a magazine and drinking some water. I lick my lips as I see the water just realizing how dehydrated I am. I snatch the water from jacks hand and chug it all down. He looks at me shocked at what I just did, I just shrug, hand him back the cup and look back out the window.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Twenty hours later I'm finally landing in Barbados. I missed here, the sun, the blue waters, the warmth. I guess coming here in a hoodie was not a good idea, because I'm dripping buckets of sweat. I walk out of the airport to see my nieces, mother and sister standing watching and waiting for me. My oldest niece hasn't seen me yet. I walk up to her silently and telling everyone to be quiet, my younger nieces giggling silently.
"So does your favourite aunt don't get a hug, come on what kind of treatment is that" she turns around and screams. As she runs into me, my other nieces run to me and hug me. Oh this is the second time I've been away from them so long and it kills me every time I've said bye. After hugging them and still having my youngest niece hugging my leg I walk up to my sister and hug her.
"Hey sis we've missed you " she says in the hug.
"I know I've missed you all too"
"We have to talk you hear" she says in a serious tone. I roll my eyes and say okay. I love her dearly she's like my other mother. I walk to my actual mother and hug her tightly.
"Awwww hunny i've missed you so much" my mom says he voice breaking. Oh no she's going to cry.
"I know mom I've missed you too" I say to her, I break the hug and kiss her on the cheek. I turn to my nieces and smiled.
"Alright guys let's go home because I'm dying of heat in this hoodie" I say fanning myself. Everyone laughs I look and see Ashley walking towards us.
"Oh guys this is Ashley my bestie slash sister" I say walking up to Ashley and putting my hand over her shoulder. She smiles and says hi and waves shyly. My oldest niece Amelia, walks up to Ashley.
"Hi I'm Amelia, I'm fourteen and I like to dance" amelia says putting her hand out to shake. Yes that's my girl she learned from her aunty. Ashley shakes it with a chuckle.
My second niece sofia, walks up hugs amelia from the side and moves behind her. Still the little shy one I see.
"This is sofia my sister she's nine, and very shy and that mischievous girl over there" she says and points to my youngest niece kayla. "She's kayla, she's six" amelia finishes saying.
"Hello" kayla says walking up to ashley. "Do you have any cookies?" Kayla asks suddenly.
"Alright kayla stop being greedy" my sister tells her. She walks up to Ashley and puts out her hand. "Hi Ashley please excuse my daughter she loves her food, I'm Victoria, alyssa's oldest sister" Victoria says and Ashley shakes her hand.
"Mama your favourite child is back!" Seth shouts as he exits the door, did he seriously need to shout. Ashley rolls her eyes and I follow suit.
"Seth shut the hell up" my sister tells him. I see my brother frown for a second but then walks to my mom and hugs her. Seth is such a mamas boy it's not even funny, he's also a suck up when it comes to mom.
"Hey seth where's jack?" I ask looking seeing he's not here.
"Oh something was wrong with Sarah's bags so he had to go deal with it" he says not breaking his hug from our mom.
"Seth leave ma alone she needs to greet Ashley" I say walking to him, when I reach him I slap him on his hand. He let's go of mom and mom is laughing at our behaviour.
She walks up to Ashley and greets her.
"Hi Ashley I'm Veronica alyssa's mother, welcome to Barbados and anything that's mine is yours, like alyssa says your her sister so that makes you family" she says with a smile, she hugs Ashley and Ashley hugs her back, she turns to seth and says.
"Seth get over here and help the girl with her bags" she walks over to me and hugs me one more time before walking off. Seth walks up to Ashley but Ashley says she doesn't need help so he just walks off with mom with his hand around her shoulders. I roll my eyes.
"Alyssa I'm taking the girls back to the car, Ashley you could follow me, and alyssa you wait for jack and his fiancé" Victoria says grabbing kayla and sofia's hand. I nod and told Victoria that amelia is staying with me. She says okay and walks off with my two nieces and Ashley to the car.
Amelia walks up to me and hugs me.
"How you been babygirl?" I ask my niece while looking at the door then back to her.
"I've been fine just a little busy with school work, I missed you a lot though. Are you staying for good this time?" She asks with a frown.
"We'll see but for now let's just enjoy my time here and not think about that" I say smiling at her she hugs me tighter. I just realised that I'm hugging everyone and not flinching or feeling disgusting. I guess I just needed family or it could be that its all girls I hugged.
We chat for a while until we saw jack and Sarah walking out with their bags. Jack spots us and walks to us.
"I hate that woman she's always telling me to stop eating chocolate and stuff or I'll get fat and no one will want me, she really hurts my feelings" amelia says. I get angry instantly. How could she tell my baby that. Does this bitch want to die
"Did you tell your mom?" I ask her because my sister would have dealt with it already if she knew.
"No but a time she was at diner with us and she told me in front of mommy and she almost lost it" amelia says "mom looked like she would have murdered her, you could have seen the red in her eyes" she continues laughing at her mom.
"Did your mom tell her anything about it?" I ask her.
"No mom just sat me in my room and told me that if she ever comes and tells me something like that again to come and tell her immediately and she will deal with it, and to not listen to a thing she says because I'm beautiful any way I am and to not put space in my head for her stupid negativity" she says. I am shocked my sister normally would have dealt with her ass right then and there but I guess she's setting an example to not go all crazy on someone for petty crap like that.
"Well your moms right don't let her even enter your mind it just takes up unnecessary space" I say and I lean down and kiss her head and smile at her. She's gotten so big. I feel old.
"Hey you didn't have to wait for us" jack says.
"Of course we waited for you" I say looking at him. Our eyes lock for a little while until amelia runs into him and hugs him.
"Hey girlie what's up" he says ruffling her hair.
"Nothing just chilling you know" she says laughing while fixing her hair.
"Hey what about that boy he treating you right? do I need to give a couple of punches" jack says punching the air making Amelia laugh more.
"Hold up missy, what boy?" I ask looking at her with a raised eyebrow she blushes looking at me.
"No one" she says turning tomato.
"Mhm yeah I'm sure, anyways let's go I'm dying of heat" I say, I turn around and start walking, my niece runs after me and holds my hand while we walk.
We're at the car and see that my sister brought her car also.
"I call dibs on Vic's front seat" I shout running to the front door, beating amelia to it.
"Haha sucker" I say getting in. Mom, seth, Ashley, jack and sarah are all in moms car, while vic the three girls and I are in vics car.
"So sis where is my nephew he couldn't come and see his favourite aunt?" I ask Victoria.
"Nope his mother kept him home because mom and her got in an argument" Victoria replies. I roll my eyes.
"Lacey is always still thinking about herself, but whatever" I say shrugging it off. My next sister lacey is always wrapped up in herself, she doesn't see her son hurting. I technically raised him myself, she's always out partying, paying all attention to her boyfriends while her son is home with me begging and crying for his mother to come home. I always had to tell him that she went to help the teen mutant ninja turtles fight crime at night.
I see my old house coming into view, just the way it was before I left..... Beautiful. Vics car drives into the driveway. All the girls run out while I am still unbuckling. I chuckle exiting the car and step onto the stone pavement. I go to the trunk and pull out my bags. I walk up the pavement to the front door and enter seeing everyone in the living room laughing and drinking. I walk toward the couch and put my suitcases down and roll only one in front of where I'm sitting.
"Alright girls come now if you want your presents!" I shout. I hear a little patter of feet coming down the stairs.
They're all in front of me with big smiles plastered on their faces. I laugh and opened up the suitcase. As I open the suitcase all you see are pink and red plastic gifts pilled up to the top. I hear gasps coming from my three little munchkins. I chuckle at their excited expressions.
After handing out toys I carried my suitcases up to my old room, Its just the way I left it. I leave my suitcases by the door and go to my bed to sit. My big purple queen size bed with purple fluffy pillows on the wall in the middle of the room with 2 night stands next to it with a lamp that chances colours and some lights going along my bed stand, my white desk on the other side of the room a couch leaned up against the bottom of my bed.
I go and sit on the bed looking around the room remembering the memories. I smile and hear a knock on my door, I look up to see Victoria standing there leaning on the door frame.
"Hope you don't mind that I used this room for the girls to sleep in when they're here" she says.
"Of course I don't mind those are my babies" I tell her. She walks up to me and sits on the bed next to me.
"I have something to tell you and you must keep it a secret no one knows anything as yet, not even blake" she says seriously. Blake is my brother in law, her husband.
"Yes of course you can tell me anything sis" I say putting my hand on her shoulder to reassure her that I'm here for her if anything.
"I'm pregnant" she says with a smile. It took me a second to register what she said before I started jumping up for joy. Another baby I'm so excited. My nieces and nephew are like my children that's why I'm so excited. I don't mind watching other people's children and falling in love with there child, but I can't have children. I don't want to put a human being into a world like this and what what if I'm a terrible mother, what if whoever is my husband leaves me. I can't put an innocent child through what I went through. That's why I tell my sister have the children while I sit here and spoil them.
"Oh my god!!!! Are you serious vic" I shout, I jump up off my bed to jump up and down excitedly.
"Shhhh no-one knows yet so be quiet" she says. I immediately stop jumping and zip my lips shut.
"How are you going to tell everyone " I say after few minutes.
"On Christmas I'm going to give blake a gift with a little boot inside, by then I would know the gender and everything" she says. My smile still wide. I'm so excited about this baby. This is the happiest I've been since that thing happened.
"Hey what happened in Australia with you and jack?" My sister asks. Should I tell her, I mean we tell eachother everything. I don't think I should it's best the less people know the better it is for his wedding to run smoothly.
"Oh nothing, why do you ask?" I ask her. She looks at me like she knows I'm lying but is doubting herself.
"You guys don't even look at each other, well I should say he looks at you all the time and you don't even give him a glance " she says looking at me worried. I can't talk about this anymore I need to change the subject.
"So how is blake and his company going?" I ask her. She rolls her eyes.
"It's going good but don't try to change the subject" she says. Shit I should have known I've always sucked at trying to change a subject.
"Jack and I are having a little disagreement on something and that's why I'm acting like that" I tell her. Oh God I hope she doesn't ask more.
"Alright if you say so, well I best be going, thanks for buying the girls the gifts they love it" she says walking to the door.
"Oh no problem you know how I spoil them" I tell her.
"Oh and alyssa" she says turning around to look at me as she reaches the door.
"That Sam guy is jerk for raping you, and I'm sorry you had to experience the same thing I did and I'm sorry sis" she tells me.
"You don't have to be sorry it's not your fault" I say to her and she smiles.
"Yeah but one thing I've learnt is that don't let them get to your head cause then they have control over you, they'll have the power so don't be angry at the world or angry at them, forgive them and you will feel at peace, I'm not saying it'll be easy but it'll happen in due time" she says smiles and walks away. I guess she's right. I sigh and lye back on my bed.
Why did this have to happen to me. I thought before I fell into a deep slumber.
Hey guys sorry for not posting was busy the last few days but anyways I'm here now and you got another chapter.
What are your thoughts on this chapter?
Do you think alyssa should forgive sam for everything he has done to her?
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Have a good day everyone
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