follow me on instagram if u want,, thank you blurrf for being such a sweetheart and giving me the acc cries
- there's a lotta kissy kiss touchy touch in this so ye this is ur warning -
-- it's not smut but some of yall might want a warning idk
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Saturday. June 20, 1987.
Stan held his head low, awkwardly walking passed everyone, trying to get to his cabin where he could escape from everything around him. He sloppily ran a hand through his hair, trying to distract himself from the tears threatening to fall.
"Ben-zonna," Stan muttered under his breathe, approaching his cabin, glad Bill hadn't followed him. He wasn't angry with Bill. He was angry at himself for getting caught up in his feelings. Most of all, he was confused. Confused as to why Bill had to kiss Beverly. He thought Bill was having fun, that they were having fun figuring out their feelings. Together.
He closed the door behind him, wishing it had a lock as he threw himself on his bed. He allowed himself to cry for only a moment. He was forced to compose himself when the door opened, suddenly. He didn't want to look but he couldn't ignore Bill's presence. It would only worsen the situation.
"Stan," Bill spoke quietly, a solemn look on his face. "Are y-you okay?"
"No." Stan's face was burried in his pillow so his words were muffled. Bill nodded, knowing the answer before he even asked.
"A-are you mad at m-me?"
Stan shook his head, face still pointed downward as he laid on his stomach. Bill sat down on his own bed, watching him.
"O-okay." Bill said. A few minutes went by and neither of them spoke. Bill wanted to walk over and rub Stan's back. He wanted to play with the boy's hair or kiss his cheeks to make the tears go away. Something. Anything.
Stan finally looked up from the pillow, eyes tired and cheeks pink. Bill stared at him, hoping he'd speak. Stan looked sad. It made Bill want to cry.
"I'm confused." Stan mumbled. Bill nodded.
"I don't know why you would do that. I-" Stan's lips trembled and he hated himself for overreacting. It's not like he and Bill were dating. "I-I thought you liked me."
"I d-do." Bill frowned, looking at the floor.
"I just, I don't understand. I don't understand why you had to kiss her." Stan sniffled. "I know you were trying to help. You're the best person I know. I just hated watching you do it."
Bill sighed, picking at the old fabric on his blanket. "I h-had to do something. They w-were hurting our friends."
Stan looked away, feeling guilty for being so upset. "I know it's bad. I can't help but wish you hadn't. I'm so selfish I didn't even want you kissing her for her own good."
"You were jea-jealous." Bill said.
"Yeah," Stan pursed his lips. "I guess I don't really know what we're allowed to do. I don't know how I'm allowed to feel. I mean, I thought we didn't want to kiss other people."
"I-I don't." Bill wished he could take it back. He wishes he would've used his words before. Spare Stan any of the pain.
"Are you sure? I mean, I don't blame you. This whole thing has been so confusing. I-It's okay if you wanted to try kissing a girl." Stan's own voice deceived him when it cracked at the last word. "I get it, it's hard."
Bill stood up from his spot, hating every word that was coming out of Stan's mouth. "Stan, I don-don't. It was just to help." He sat down at the foot of Stan's bed. Stan sat up, making more room for Bill to sit.
"I promise." Bill said. He didn't know why a boy so beautiful was so insecure. "I j-just want you."
Stan smiled a bit. "I'm sorry. It still hurt me. Seeing you kiss her." Bill understood that, remembering the feeling he got when he found out Stan had kissed Betty in the past.
"I didn't l-like it, though." Stan's eyes lit up at Bill's words.
"You didn't?" Stan asked.
"Don't look too excited." Bill laughed. Stan let out a chuckle.
"I'm a bad friend." Stan laughed some more, wiping his face.
"You'd be a-a good bo-boyfriend." Bill blurted out, freezing once it was done. Stan stopped laughing, watching the boy in front of him.
"Is that what you want?" Stan reached for Bill's hand.
Bill nodded, causing Stan to smile widely. He scooted closer, touching the curls on Stan's head. He didn't want to speak out loud, he felt that the moment was too perfect for him to ruin it with his stutter.
"Do you want to date?" Stan asked, leaning closer to Bill, as well. Bill nodded again.
"Bill," Stan laughed, Bill looked away. When Bill stayed quiet, Stan gently pulled Bill's face closer to look him in the eyes.
"What is it?" Stan asked thoughtfully.
"I-I," Bill shut his mouth. He couldn't even begin without a stutter and he hated it.
"It's okay," Stan sighed, "You can tell me."
"I c-can't. I don't w-want to ruin this w-with my voice." Bill put his head down. Stan kissed his hand, making Bill look up.
"You can't ruin anything." Stan shook his head. "You're perfect."
"O-okay." Bill blushed.
"So," Stan smiled. "Boyfriends?"
Bill put a hand on his chin, pretending to contemplate his decision. Stan chuckled, rolling his eyes dramatically.
"Of c-course." Bill grinned.
"No more kissing other people," Stan squeezed Bill's hand. Bill nodded and leaned closer until his lips were hovering over Stan's. "Just me." Stan said before they closed the gap.
"Just y-you." Bill said, pulling Stan closer by the collar of his shirt. The curly-haired boy let his hand wander to Bill's hip. The two shared another kiss, Stan's hand finding its way under the fabric of Bill's shirt and the boy gasped. Stan took it as his opportunity to deepen the kiss as his tongue explored his boyfriend's mouth. Bill stroked his thumb across Stan's jaw absentmindedly as they kissed.
Stan moved his hand, caressing Bill's back. Bill pulled away for a moment, answering Stan's questionable gaze as he lifted his shirt over his head. Stan watched him, biting his bottom lip subconsciously as he leaned in for another kiss but Bill stopped him.
"Wh-" Stan cut himself off when he felt Bill's lips on his jaw. He began with small closed-mouth kisses, soon progressing to Stan's neck.
"Bill," Stan gasped, running his hand along Bill's forearm as the boy sucked on his neck. Stan was surprised that Bill was taking charge but enjoyed himself regardless. Bill, rested one hand on the back of Stan's neck and the other on Stan's leg. If Bill was being honest, he had no idea what he was doing but loved how it made Stan whimper. When Bill finally pulled away, there were two dark bruises on Stan's neck.
"That's h-hot." Bill laughed, biting his lip.
"Who are you and what have you done to my boyfriend?" Stan snickered, bringing a hand up to his neck. He watched Bill, eyes scanning over his torso. "Can I try?"
Bill nodded, not even getting a second blink in before Stan was kissing his neck vigorously. He began laughing, pushing Stan away.
"I d-don't think you're supposed to b-b-bite me." Bill laughed. Stan tilted his head back, urging Bill to come closer.
"Well, I tried." Stan shrugged, laying back. "It's too bad. Now nobody will know you're taken."
"They'll know y-you are, though. That's all I c-care about." Bill winked.
"Shut up and lay down with me." Stan held his arms out and Bill joined him, nestling his face in Stan's neck with a sigh.
"I'm h-happy." Bill smiled, kissing Stan's neck before closing his eyes. "Still."
"Me too." Stan was the happiest boy in Derry.
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feedback? bitch they're ofFICIAL
and before any of u say "more redDIE", i'm telling u there will be REDDIE. It takes tiME. wE HAVE 33 CHAPTERS LEFT YALL.
anyway I took forever writing this bc distractions but ye. and true by spandau ballet came on and i laughed so haRD also my mom woke up while iw as writing and was like "What are u typing " lmao ok enjoy and leave me comments to read :) -kat
10/14/17 @ 12:51