GROUP NAME: we love a healthy relationship meaning jake peralta and amy santiago
GROUP MEMBERS: LIAM, THEO, MASON
MASON
hello gays
MASON
whOOPS haHA!! silly me. i meant GUYS wow what an autocorrect
THEO
why are you like this
LIAM
i ask myself that everyday
THEO
yay we agreed on something high five bro
LIAM
nice bro
MASON
is there some heterosexual thing i don't know about because what the fuck
THEO
surprise we aren't gay we are raging heterosexuals who love sports and wearing shorts in the middle of winter with white mid calf nike socks
LIAM
oh no our secret is out what do we do NOW we are EXPOSED time to move to alaska
MASON
dickbags
THEO
thanks
LIAM
is there a reason you are bothering us
MASON
oh EXCUSE ME dumbitch i am the barrier of somewhat good news and somehow im the one who's a "nuisance" and "ruining christmas, daniel"
LIAM
ive seen that meme u ain't slick
MASON
that was the point stupid idiot
THEO
hey that's my boyfriend you're talking about
THEO
keep going!
LIAM
i am breaking up with you
THEO
not today liam
LIAM
okay
MASON
what the fuK okay there was a point to this conversation but we are going off on a tangent as fuckin usual what else is new
THEO
proceed my lord
MASON
anyway idiots
MASON
the nicki minaj concert is this weekend
MASON
so
MASON
who's going w me
LIAM
o shit i forgot about this
THEO
im breaking up with you how could you forget about our lord and savior nicki minaj
LIAM
im sorry babe
MASON
stop being cute and listen to me
THEO
sorry i was distracted
LIAM
😩❤
MASON
fuckers listen to me, fours, a ten is speaking
THEO
damn okay
MASON
who's coming with i need to decide
LIAM
me
THEO
me
LIAM
aw hell no
LIAM
look babe i love you with all my heart okay
LIAM
but there's no fucking way
THEO
nah love
THEO
look i love you too but theres only one way to officially settle this
THEO
war
MASON
nO
LIAM
you're goin downtown charlie brown
THEO
no thanks id prefer to stay exactly where i am and ultimately beat you
MASON
guYS cmOn
LIAM
no i go
THEO
fine then no sex for a month
MASON
COME FUCKING ON
LIAM
that's CHEATING
THEO
it's called WINNING with STYLE
MASON
it's called being fucking NASTY
LIAM
well how tf are we gonna settle this
THEO
how about this
THEO
i go to the concert
THEO
and you
THEO
stay here
LIAM
not a snowflakes chance in hell
MASON
i created this
THEO
congratulations
MASON
thanks! i hate it
LIAM
look what you did
LIAM
no sex MY ASS
LIAM
you can't RESISt me
THEO
oh YEAH
MASON
STOP FIGHTING OKAY
MASON
I HAVE A SOLUTION BITCHES
LIAM
what is it my favorite friend in the whole wide world who i love with all my heart
THEO
kiss ass
LIAM
jerk face
MASON
how about this
MASON
how about
MASON
neither of you go
THEO
then how am i supposed to see my queen
MASON
watch a live stream bitch
LIAM
i hate that idea
THEO
me too
MASON
well too bad motherfuckers because im taking someone else instead of you
THEO
who? who's the little bitch that's gonna die tonight
LIAM
babe let's take em out
THEO
hell yeah love lets fuckin go
MASON
would you two stop with the inferred violence i feel threatened
THEO
never
THEO
you caused this
MASON
sigh when will the madness end
LIAM
never
LIAM
tell us or i won't make you cookies anymore
MASON
WOAH HEY
MASON
let's not go that far okay let's settle this
THEO
who's the fucker
LIAM
we just want their location☺️
MASON
y'all are crazy
MASON
maybe that's why you are dating
MASON
fuckin lunatics
THEO
proud to be
LIAM
the truth honestly where's the lie
LIAM
lie ? idk her !
THEO
there you go
MASON
you guys are driving me crazy wow kids these days amirite because holy SHIT you imbeciles are a handful to take care of
LIAM
listen just because you're one month older than me doesn't fuckin mean you can call me a kid
THEO
well i can because im older
THEO
but i won't because that's weird and it's like calling my son champ after his soccer game to which he sat on the bench for
LIAM
what drugs are you on because i will have whatever you have
MASON
there was a POINT to this conversation
THEO
clearly
THEO
ahh right let's get back to that name we all wanna hear
THEO
who's fuckin ruining my chances
LIAM
just send us their social security number and we chill fam
MASON
never say fam again
THEO
yeah never please thanks
LIAM
im a target
MASON
you're a nuisance
THEO
stop digressing hoe
THEO
give us the name
LIAM
yeah cmon man
MASON
fINE OKAY
MASON
im taking LYDIA OK
THEO
well fuck we can't hurt lydia
LIAM
shit man fuck cock bitch snacks
THEO
now what
MASON
nOW y'all can leave me alone to Rest In Peace™ while i whisk away the responsibilities that i am given by putting some cucumbers over my eyes and listening to some tunes
THEO
lock your doors
MASON
fuk that's my cue bye hoes
MASON HAS LEFT THE CONVERSATION!
CONVERSATION WITH: THEO💜
THEO💜
now what
LIAM💚
sigh we didn't get the tickets we wanted for
THEO💜
hold on love
THEO💜
correct me if im wrong
THEO💜
but you said you didn't want to have the tickets because you didn't care anymore and then poured out your heart and soul to me and exposed yourself for liking me
LIAM💚
stop making me sound desperate okay i was rattled
THEO💜
hahah im right
THEO💜
damn you had a crush on me? that's embarrassing man wow
LIAM💚
we are literally dating
THEO💜
yeah but STILL
LIAM💚
you're killing me
THEO💜
😁
THEO💜
im making your life a better place what i am the backbone of your world
LIAM💚
fuck
LIAM💚
i hate when you're right
THEO💜
so im your world?
LIAM💚
i mean
LIAM💚
yeah
LIAM💚
who fuckin else
THEO💜
ok shit true true
LIAM💚
cocky ass bitch
THEO💜
hey but you love it!
LIAM💚
fuck i do
THEO💜
you love me!
LIAM💚
yeah i fuckin do man what
THEO💜
i love you too!!
LIAM💚
are you drunk
THEO💜
werewolves can't get drunk love
LIAM💚
did you somehow find a way
LIAM💚
or are my eyes deceiving me
THEO💜
nope your eyes are functioning perfectly fine
THEO💜
look man
THEO💜
i don't really say it enough cause im fairly new to all this stuff but i want you to know that
LIAM💚
stop you're making me cry
THEO💜
ba BY
LIAM💚
fuKc
LIAM💚
you do these things to me and i want to either cry or punch you
THEO💜
what can i say?
THEO💜
i appreciate you a lot
LIAM💚
❤
LIAM💚
do you ..
LIAM💚
do you really?
THEO💜
well yeah of course
THEO💜
well look im not the best at showing affection cause i didn't really have that growing up but now im with you and ive never been happier and you've taught me a lot
LIAM💚
that was literally the sweetest thing you have ever said to me
THEO💜
you deserve my sweet words
LIAM💚
you're making me cry
THEO💜
im good at eliciting emotions
LIAM💚
you're just
LIAM💚
ugh
LIAM💚
im so happy
LIAM💚
i scored with this relationship
THEO💜
you scored? i scored wow
THEO💜
love me a man who loves to cook
LIAM💚
look at us
LIAM💚
loving each other
LIAM💚
look at our healthy relationship
LIAM💚
damn im glad i texted you all those months back about fake dating me
THEO💜
to be honest i was excited
THEO💜
that was my chance to talk to you
LIAM💚
i was nervous holy hell
LIAM💚
you made me nervous and you still do
THEO💜
i still do? why?
LIAM💚
idk i guess i don't wanna mess up in front of you or anything i don't know it's stupid
THEO💜
look that's cute and all but you tripped in the parking lot the other day
THEO💜
plus you should've have to try hard when you're around me. i love you, not the person you're trying to be
LIAM💚
fuck man you make me so emo
THEO💜
don't know what that means but im gonna say that's good ?
LIAM💚
you're my god given solace
THEO💜
☀️😁
LIAM💚
fuCk theo
LIAM💚
i hate being cheesy but fuck fuck fuck you're literally my fucking life
THEO💜
im glad that i am because you are mine
THEO💜
as cheesy as this and that sounds
THEO💜
but fake dating you was the best thing ive done in my entire life
LIAM💚
well aren't you glad i texted you a meme
THEO💜
i wouldn't want it any other way
LIAM💚
to be honest i wasn't supposed to send you that and had so many other stupid shit typed out that i never sent which were all just a bunch of memes which is so weird to think about
THEO💜
why didn't you send them tf i would've loved the shit out of that
LIAM💚
i was scared that it would scare you away and give you another reason to punch me
THEO💜
i still would've punched you but inside i would've loved that
THEO💜
all jokes aside
THEO💜
im glad you texted me about two bros chillin in a hot tub five feet apart cause they're not gay
LIAM💚
wow you still remember?
THEO💜
i remember everything about you
THEO💜
okay wait that sounded a little weird im sorry but it's true i remember a lot so i don't forget the next time
THEO💜
like you said you liked the constellations a few weeks ago and that's why i drove you out to that open field a few nights ago and i memorized the main constellations to impress you
LIAM💚
holy shit you're the best
LIAM💚
i !! appreciate !! the !! fuck !! out !! of !! you !!
LIAM💚
babe you didn't have to do that
LIAM💚
im literally the most impressed person you will meet like
LIAM💚
you could give me a rock from my driveway and id probably cry
LIAM💚
just the thought that you took time out of your life to do that is 😩❤
THEO💜
well yeah i wanna make you feel good
THEO💜
isn't that my job as a boyfriend
THEO💜
to love and cherish you until death do us part
LIAM💚
well that's marriage
THEO💜
then let's get married sometime
LIAM💚
..wait ...what?
THEO💜
i mean at least we can think about it
THEO💜
like wouldn't it be cool to live together in a city or something with a dog (and a cat since im never getting rid of athena) and just have normal lives and cuddle as much as we can since we are alone and doing whatever the fuck we want
THEO💜
we could also walk around holding hands and go out to dinner and stay out as late as we want and sleep as much as we want. no one will have a problem with that so we can do a bunch of shit
THEO💜
maybe we could even adopt? as time goes on, obviously but it would be cool to raise a kid with you (you are not naming him fuck) and we aren't really the nicest of people with our cold exteriors but fuck i would love the fuck out of that kid and im pretty sure that you would too
THEO💜
i could also take you out stargazing as much as you would like and we can go to those concerts you like and we could also dress fancy and go to those symphonies if you like, since i know you like both types of music
THEO💜
also we can get a really nice speaker and just play music all day in our apartment or house or wherever you wanna live and dance and do a bunch of shit. we could buy as much pizza as we want without anyone giving us shit for it!!!we could bake and watch movies and just live our lives together
THEO💜
cmon that sounds pretty cool
THEO💜
hello? liam?
THEO💜
shit sorry i shouldn't have said anything i probably freaked you out
LIAM💚
i can.t@breathe
LIAM💚
you really wanna marry me?
THEO💜
i mean yeah
THEO💜
not right now but eventually
THEO💜
it's something that sounds really fun
LIAM💚
i just
LIAM💚
i can't believe you think about marrying me
THEO💜
do you ever think about it? marrying me?
LIAM💚
well duh
LIAM💚
but im still in high school so i still have a lot ahead of me
THEO💜
that's true and i don't want to stand in the way of that at all
LIAM💚
no no that's not what i was saying
LIAM💚
what i meant was i wanna get married just not now obviously
THEO💜
im willing to wait as long as it's with you
LIAM💚
holy shit i literally can't breathe i can't believe this i can't believe you actually love me and want to marry me like how
LIAM💚
like it baffles me that people actually care about me it's the weirdest thing
THEO💜
of course people care about you
THEO💜
look im an asshole about ninety percent of the time but listen i care about you and appreciate you one hundred percent of the time
THEO💜
like that car accident scared the shit out of me and that fucker who punched you worried the fuck out of me
THEO💜
when you were unconscious im not gonna lie i cried a little bit because i didn't do anything to stop you from getting hurt
LIAM💚
what did i do to deserve you
LIAM💚
you're too good for me i can't breathe what the fuck im sobbing tf
THEO💜
look you're too good to me!
THEO💜
you do a lot for me without realizing it
THEO💜
you can tell when im having a shit day and don't say anything but you put on my favorite movies and rub my back and it's a small gesture but it makes me feel better
THEO💜
you also like to hold my hand a lot which is cute lmao it makes me feel good that im needed and making you feel safer
THEO💜
oh and also you are really cute when you are tired, and you get really clingy but it's a good clingy so im all chill with it and it's really nice i don't know because you pull me closer and cuddle me which feels nice
THEO💜
and every once in a while you'll be the one who lets me be clingy and i pull you closer and cuddle you which is refreshing every now and then to be able to do that
THEO💜
you also like making breakfast in the morning and like to wake me up with the smell of bacon and idk man you just make me feel alive and i guess that's the best thing that someone can do for someone else
LIAM💚
im....im really glad i make you feel that way
LIAM💚
damn i was NOT expecting this conversation to end up like this but i am not complaining
THEO💜
you make me feel alive
LIAM💚
you make me feel like i exist with a purpose and honestly that's the best feeling
LIAM💚
ive been afraid of not having one for so long but then you came along and proved me all wrong and let me in
LIAM💚
i can't thank you enough for that
THEO💜
i guess we are both pretty much filled with gratitude right now for each other
LIAM💚
we are honestly and i can't get over it
LIAM💚
can you please come over right now
LIAM💚
i need to just be with you right now
THEO💜
i was thinking the same thing
LIAM💚
whenever you're available is fine cause my dad is just working on the yard so he won't mind he likes you anyway
LIAM💚
we can watch a movie or nap whatever is good with you is good for me. we can play mario kart or wii sports. also we can shoot some hoops outside or bake or even go for a walk i don't even care because i just wanna be with you
THEO💜
all of those sound perfect. i'll be over in twenty?
LIAM💚
that sounds perfect babe i fuckin love you
THEO💜
i fuckin love you too
==========
so that's officially the end.