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"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. "
-Lao Tzu-
Flashbacks
" Her Mother said that she lost her ability to speak when she was around 5 years old " The Young man took a sip of his coffee then looked at the doctor his Mom used to visit, The man was a famous Psychologist that had much of an experience that can make him a Trustworthy " There was a......kind of a bad incident she experienced in that age and her Mother said she didn't hear her voice since then..." Jungkook finished his words with a sigh and prepared himself to hear whatever the doctor will say.
" And you said that incident wasn't a one with a physical damage " Mr.Park nodded then started talking again after few seconds of nodding to himself " Loss of voice is a very characteristic psychological symptom that, in most cases, happens when the person suffers a major traumatic event which leads to the state of shock " he said " It's not the first time i meet this case but it's the first that the person actually been suffering for more than a year...." he sighed
" About 16 years.." Jungkook said " As what i understand is that she went with her father for a walk in some kind forest but he left her there alone.... And the police couldn't find her all night long, So.... Technically she stayed the whole night alone....."
" A 5 years old girl staying all night alone in the dark.....hhmmmm" The doctor drunk his coffee " And probably the father never came back.."
Jungkook nodded " But other than a loss of voice she's fine, she seems to completely forgot about the matter , I mean if you meet her you'll see h-----"
" Jeon Jungkook sshi....." Mr.Park cut the young man's words " people are very different, there are many different events that can lead to this state , and people are very different in the healing process as well, Some of them talk as soon as they felt the need to , Some.... Only speak few words and Other some speaks with only Trustworthy people, Means if the girl doesn't remember the cause of this, I don't have high expectation that she can talk again. "
Jungkook swallowed at that... To be honest he doesn't even know why he's so worry and why he's making time to actually think about you, But ...... He can't help it, Not just that he wanted to know...... But because there's something inside his mind that actually can't stop mentioning you and thinking about you , The man wanted to resist but ended up giving up.
" In the last case , the loss of voice is sometimes seen in former soldiers who suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder. I have seen and Participate in a former American soldier case where the doctors actually replayed a war with him to get him to remember why he losses his voice in the first place, Maybe some-one Threatened him to speak again and he was still scared to talk, Or Maybe He called for someone too much till he believed he doesn't need to speak because it's pointless...... There was too many "Maybes" we put, But in the end it turnes out that he had to hide and never make a sound that still makes him feel the need to never say anything...." He added " That's why i am saying people are differenet, Psychiatric illness aren't cured with a specific medicine but they're all cured when the person is no longer has so many worries or so many fears....."
" So... You're saying ......"
" In this case, I suggest we try to make her remember first than when she does, We have to change whatever made her traumatic....." He sighed " But .... It still can make it worst."
End of flashbacks
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Jungkook couldn't witness the scene anymore, it hurts more than he expected, Without thinking he forgot about making you remember even though it may be working but........ He couldn't.
" Y/N-ahh " He run toward the crying girl and kneeled next to you , the first thing he did was making you stand up then without waiting anymore second he pushed you inside his arms, you remember you tried to scream, but the inside of your mouth lacked any moisture and a croak was all that issued from your gape. your brain had shut down. you were clammy and there was the glisten of a cold sweat. your eyes were as wide as if someone was coming to deliver the fatal blow. Yet what you saw, no-one else could see. Trapped in your own psychosis, a living nightmare for one, tailor made by your own brain to play on your deepest fears.
You were alone.
No matters how you cry, No matters how you scream..........
No-One is there for you..
" It's Ok , I am here ..."
You heard but who.......
The gentle voice kept on repeating that it's okay, it's fine, everything is okay now........But Who ?
He was saying many words but you were in your own world, suffering and ....... dying, you breathed in and out but air wouldn't enter your lungs. Starved for air, your heart raced at tremendous speeds, and your lungs shallowly rose and fell in time.
Meanwhile Jungkook was hugging you as he never done to anyone, sensing your fear as your trembling small body hugged into his as well. " Y/N Please.... Look at me Y/N .. I am so sorry please " he tried to make you look at him but he could tell you weren't, Tears running down your cheeks and your head shook side to side almost too slight to notice. He needed to calm you down..... ...
His cold lips brushed against yours as he tugged you closer, tasting your tear. Your plump, velvety lips compelling against his slimmer,warm ones,press impenetrably and rougher onto your lips. His insistent mouth was parting your trembling lips, sending wild tremors along your nerves, inflicting sensations you had never known you were capable of feeling, Your eyes were finally wide open as if you just came back to earth, all the fear...... all the scare and all the crying was gone now, Your heart calmed down but soon started to beat faster when finally you realised what's happening " I am with you Y/N " he whispered as he pulled away feeling you getting a bit relaxed, Locking his eyes into yours he continued " And i will always be ." his gentle smile sends a warm feeling to your heart that made some tears fell againbut with his palm he brushed them away slowly " You don't have to be scared anymore, Everything is fine now...." with a pure smileyou pressed your head against his sculpted chest, relishing the firm, hard muscle. Nestling closer,you listened for his heartbeat. It was there, that thunderous, rapid pounding which made you relax even more , You grabbed his jacket making sure he won't leave again, he seems to noticed and he pushed you closer and patted on your hear repeating the words he said.
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While driving, Jungkook would check on your sleeping form next to him every three seconds, he wished he never done that, he wish he could just enjoy your smile and never experience having you in that condition, This only made he the one in fear, he was scared to see you cry again, he was scared of the strong feeling he's having now...... but all he knows now......
He'll protect with his life, He'll make sure you smile everyday, He'll keep you save and happy.
It may sounds strange but......." You're the reason i am living now Y/N ." he mumbled and bit his lips.
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You opened your eyes when you felt someone gently shaking your shoulder and a sweet voice calling your name. " Y/N -ah We're here...."
The smiling man help you with the seatbelt which means he was getting so near and of course you remembering what happened few hours ago you blushed and looked away. The nervous man above you was being awkward but when seeing you blushing face he couldn't stop the smile himself... he was actually nervous that you might still feeling scared or something but the fact you were blushing and he kinda knew what was all this about.
' Must be her first ...' The man thoughts feeling a sight of happiness that he might the first man touched your lips, He smiled and both of you walked to your house.
" Y/N-ahh " Your mom hugged you the moment she opened the door, Tears start forming in your eyes as you hide your face in her neck, Hugging her tight she knew that you missed her the same she did " I miss you my little girl...." In that moment the arms squeezed a fraction tighter and Trina breathed more slowly, your body melting into your mom's as every muscle lost its tension to the spring air. This was life, real life.
Pulling back when your mind comes back to earth and looked behind to the man who stood there smiling then bowed greeting your Mom " Thank you for bringing her " your Mom said
He let out a shy chuckle " Actually i was about to apologize, It took us a while to visit you..." He bowed and you smiled.....
Why is he acting like this ? Is this real ?
For you it's too perfect to be real....
" Ohh Please come in, I just finish making dinner, You two came in the right moment.." Your mom smiled too, Her smile made your heart melt. You felt so happy seeing her smiling like that, and here you didn't care if it's real or not as long as your Mom is happy you'll believe anything.
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After Dinner, You went to the kitchen helping your Mother while Jungkook stayed in the living room giving you some time alone with your Mom, As the house being nothing like his, he could listen to your mother's voice time to time, Only her laugher were heard, He knew you use the sign language with your Mother but he wished his ears could hear your laughers too.
He painfully smiled and took his phone walking toward the door. He went out and called the Doctor and told him about everything that happened till he heard the door being opened and it was your mother. He immediately asked the excuse from the Doctor and ended the call, slightly bowing to the lady next to him.
The Woman smiled " Thank you..."
" F-For what ? " he rubbed his hair nervously and smiled
" She seems happy for some reason..." she sighed and looked up to the sky " That girl always smile even sometimes i do believe her but her eyes ........ "
"I know...."
she smiled again " thank you..."
" Ahh If you wouldn't mind..." He looked at the woman preparing to enter to the serious matter " I was hoping to make her see therapist, If you and I couldn't help, I thought that maybe.......maybe talking to an expert would help." he bit his lips looking at your Mother
" Therapist !!"
" Yes.... I know a good one, He's a one i can trust . So if you wouldn't mind...." He hoped the woman give him her permission
" I don't know.." she sighed " I have taken her to many before but everytime they chaged their minds from the second meeting... They would say, She can't talk anymore or there's no hope for her to remember things since she was so young that time..." she painfully smiled then looked at him in the eyes " So i stopped ......... I felt she was getting tired so I stopped "
He looked down " I see ....." Jungkook nodded to himself then started again " Actually before we cam here we visited someone i know and then........W-While we were walking around the place which was kinda forest like place.."
" S-So..." The mother looked at him with must hope in her eyes " Did she ...? "
" She c-cried......" he hardly said " She badly cried ....."
She sighed
" Even though the Therapist may not help her speak again but at least ...... I mean i hope he can help you feel safe again........ She sounded so scared so...." He added
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" I will pass by you tomorrow ..." Jungkook smiled next to the door as he was saying goodbye to you, You returned the smile and nodded. " So...I W-Will head out now..." he looked around , The he leant foreword and your pulse raced. A small lock of hair tumbled in front of your face, resting just in front of your cheek, but with one swift slide of his thumb, it was brushed out of the way. Looking into his eyes you saw deep pools of blue that displayed his soul. His lips touched your cheek. Time stopped. your heart came to a halt.
your breath caught in my throat.
Your fingers locked together similar to puzzle pieces. As the soft skin of his mouth left the side of your face, the exact spot where they had come into contact burned and tingled. A hot blazing fire pulsed through you. A small grin crept onto your face and your cheeks painted themselves rose red. He pulled away silently, but your eyes locked, having a private conversation of their own....... As always.
With a last smile .........
He left
Your Mother was looking at how you put your hand in your heart and your cheek were slight pink now, Her heart was beating so fast.
She was worried.
She knows you, and she can see through you but that what makes her worry the most, That's true ..... Jungkook sounds like a nice guy and very different from his mother but she still his Mother and your Mom knew that she'll never agree on what's the obvious thing that was going on between the man called your husband and you....
That will break your heart .....
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See You Soon
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