Playlist :
Hold On - Chord Overstreet
(If you haven't heard this song, go listen to it right now! It's effing beautiful.)
Alison/Sapphire
My heart was thudding in my chest, I had a doubt that I might get a cardiac arrest. Finally! I'm going to learn the truth. I sat on the couch at the far corner of the study and watched Ian pacing in front of me. I closed my eyes when the pain started to make its presence in my head. "Ian! Will you stop pacing? It's giving me a headache." I said and massaged my forehead.
"Are you alright? Do you want to rest?" He asked eagerly. I know he was trying to postpone this talk. "No! I want to listen to the truth. So start speaking, it's already past one!" I said whilst glancing at the watch on his wrist. Now that I notice, for a rich person, he only wears one watch. I remember seeing a set of different watches in his closet through the open door, but they were left untouched. I shook my head and brought my thoughts back to the present.
With a long sigh, Ian began "You know I can lie to you and maybe I should, but you have been through a lot and I think you deserve to know the truth. Even though after doing so, I'll lose you." He sighed again. Ian looked at me and began walking towards me, I tried to hold all my emotions inside me, at least until he finishes.
"No matter what, just remember that I-" Ian stopped mid-sentence. "You mean a lot to me." He continued, although I had a hunch that he wasn't going to say that but I let it slide. Ian walked towards the window and with his back facing me, he began telling me the truth.
"Alison and I, we were in the same school but I only knew her as Ashley's sister back then. Ashley!" Ian chuckled humourlessly. "I was so in love with her at that time, at least I thought I was but I never said that to her. I never had the courage to do so. Later my dad announced that we'll be moving to New York forever. So I dropped all the ideas of being with Ashley and moved away. Little did I know that it wasn't going to be the last time I will see her." He paused to breathe. I know from here the actual story begins.
"After six years, I was ready to take dad's place as the CEO but dad proposed that if I'll marry the girl of his choice only then I'll be able to take over. Since I was a kid I dreamt of running the company on my terms, so I agreed and besides I never thought about marriage so I didn't have any vision of my future bride. I decided to go out for a vacation while my dad searched for me a bride. When I returned a month later dad said that he chose Nicholas Brown's daughter for me. At first, I was ecstatic because I thought he was talking about Ashley so I immediately said yes but when we went to meet the Browns I realized I was wrong. Dad wasn't talking about Ashley, he was talking about Alison. I never said anything that evening but when we returned home I had a huge fight with my dad. I told him I love Ashley and I want to marry her but my dad never liked her." He sighed
"I had no choice but to stand at the altar. I remember standing there and thinking about my decision. I was about to ruin two lives, most importantly Alison's. Although she was a stranger to me, I knew her to be a kind and good-hearted girl, I can't ruin her life. I was aware of the music being played announcing her arrival but I was too busy debating with myself. I was about to stop this marriage but at that moment my eyes landed on the most beautiful bride I've ever seen. I don't know if it was the setting sun, her dress or her beautiful brown eyes but I was tongue-tied. That was the first time I felt something for her, unnoticeably something, but something nevertheless. I just couldn't bring myself to stop the marriage and I said 'I do'."
"After that, I realized what a big mistake I did. Not marrying her but ruining her life. I did enough so I decided to tell her as soon as possible so she won't expect much from me but I never knew it will be the first night of our marriage. That night I wasn't able to sleep, I heard her cries but didn't make a move to comfort her because I knew it will do no good. I tried to avoid her for the next months but that was ruined when she showed up at the office. I figured being rude to her will make things easier, will prevent her from getting attached herself to me and get heartbroken when I divorce her, little did I know that I was wrong."
"She convinced me to stop avoiding her and I couldn't say no so we were on speaking terms. Later she asked me who is the girl I'm in love with. I wanted to lie to her but I couldn't and I told her it's her sister. Next thing I know I'm securing a drunk Alison in my car. At that moment too I felt something for her, something noticeable." I could see the corner of his lips tuck upward and I couldn't help but smile myself.
"She decided to set me up with her sister. I know it sounds crazy and it was, but being the selfless person she was, she did it. She did set me up with her sister but in the process, I fell for her. Before I believed I was in love with Ashley but Alison was the person who made me realize what it actually feels like to fall in love with someone. I came to know the difference between first love and true love, as Drake puts it in. When I saw her removing the wedding ring I cried and that entire night I cried out loud."
"I was again put in the same situation. I was standing at the altar thinking about my decision but this time I was destroying three lives and I was not going to let that happen. I stood there watching the love of my life walk away and I knew I had to stop this and her, but Ashley said something to me that stopped me from stopping my love walk away from me."
"What did she say?" I asked.
"She said that she was pregnant, with Nathan." He answered. "After that, I learned that Alison was in love with me all along. What I thought was preventing me from breaking her heart was actually breaking it. She was in so much pain because of me. I have no idea what she might have gone through but I know it was emotionally impossible for any person but she did it. She went through it, I put her through it and I'll never forgive myself for that."
"I called her to apologize and she said 'forget that I was in your life, live happily' but I couldn't because that was the last time I heard her voice. There wasn't a single day when I wouldn't visit Alison's grave. I apologized to her every time I went there with her favourite flowers. I talked to her for hours, repeating the things I couldn't say to her when she was alive."
I saw a tear rolling down his cheek and I had an urge to go and wipe it off but I knew the story hasn't ended yet.
"After months Ashley gave birth to Nathan and that's when I realized Nathan was not my son. When I asked her for answers she answered with 'I never said it's your baby I just said I was pregnant.' That day I blamed her equally for Alison's death and that was also the last time I talked to her for more than a sentence. Even though Nathan was not my son he was still my responsibility. As time passed he became my son from my responsibility. We don't share blood but we do share a bond."
"Six years passed, I was alive but wasn't living because she wasn't by my side. Things changed drastically in those years. Many relations were at stake and few relations were made. New York held too many memories so we decided to move away and Chicago was perfect. We were not aware many lives were going to change because of that decision." Ian finished. He didn't need to say the rest because I was aware of the rest of the story
Ian went silent after that and I too didn't make any attempt to break the silence. I was aware of the throbbing pain in the back of my mind but I was too busy processing all the information in.
Six years. I spent six years of my life thinking about my past. Although I never had the chance to find it I always wished to know about it but never in my imagination I thought the truth to be revealed like this.
My past was surrounding me for months and yet I was unaware of it. I felt betrayed. So many people lied to me.
Marie, Mr.Brown, Emily, Drake, Marie, Aiden and even Ian!
All my questions were answered today but one question still remained.
"I still have one question though," I said. Ian nodded his head with his back still facing me. "Are you..?" I trailed off, unable to form the question. Ian sighed again and slowly turned around to look at me. He stared into my brown eyes and nodded his head.
"Yes! I'm Raine and Ryker's father." He answered, confirming my doubts.
"How? When?" I asked. A blush forming on my cheeks but I kept my expression neutral. "It was my Bachelorette night. I was drunk and came to your house. I also confessed my love to you that night but when I woke up in the morning I was in my bed, dressed. So I thought it was a dream until I saw the twins at your house. I told Aiden about them and he confirmed that it wasn't a dream." He explained.
"Oh!" I said dumbly and looked around. "I'm sorry I don't remember," I added.
What? Why the hell am I sorry? Seriously Sapphire.. or Alison?
"It's not your fault." He said. The pain in my head intensified. So I just hummed in reply. Trying to find a way to escape because I was in no situation to tell him about Halloween night. It was just too much for me.
"Is that why you never called me by my name?" I asked massaging my forehead. "You noticed?" He sighed again. "Yes! I couldn't bring myself to call you Sapphire when you have always been Alison for me."
"So now that you know, Raine is my daughter I have the right to know... Alison!" Ian suddenly yelled. That was the last thing I remember before darkness consumed me.
*
*
My heart was slowly being ripped off.
At least that's what it felt like. My knees were harshly pressed on the carpet while I clutched my chest and sobbed. I leaned forward to ease the pain in my chest but it wasn't my chest that was paining it was my heart that was hurting. My throat closed up but the cries didn't stop. Tears continued to roll down my cheeks and fall on the carpet. My cries were drowned by the heavily pouring rain outside but the entire cottage shook by it.
I was glad of my decision to move to the cottage on the outskirts of the town. I don't want my father to see me crying like my life depended on it.
I tried to control myself but I couldn't. All the barriers that I've built around me for a year were crumbled to the ground. Hurt, pain, despair, sadness everything was just overwhelming for me. Images of Ian and Ashley on the altar kept flashing in my mind fueling my tears.
I blamed the lord for cursing me for giving me this life with no love, I blamed my father to pass the value of selflessness of my mother to me, I blamed my mother for being so kind and good, I blamed Ian for not loving me back, I blamed Ashley for being so pretty and lucky to be loved by him, I even blamed the day when I realized I was in love with a certain blue-eyed boy. I blamed every possible person I can think of in hopes of lessening the pain but all my attempts were in vain because deep down I know I don't blame any of them.
I knew that after Ashley and Ian get married I'm going to be a mess but I never imagined it to be this bad.
I was finding it difficult to breathe but still, my cries were escaping my lips. No physical pain can be compared to an emotional one and what hurt the most was I lost control over it. I just wanted it to stop but it just won't.
Days passed by and I was still a mess. With a broken heart and soul, I moved around the house trying to distract myself but my thoughts - having a mind of their own - kept running back to the one year I spent with him. The special night we shared. Although I don't regret any of it I still wished it never happened because maybe it wouldn't have hurt that much.
I began having breakdowns at unexpected times. One time I'm scrubbing soap on my body, the next thing I know I'm sobbing on the ground, under the shower. There was always a bile in my throat and that freaking hurt.
My phone was off. It hasn't been charged for days and maybe it's for the good because I know if my phone was on, I would've been flooded with calls and messages and their sympathy will make me cry more.
The weather was good that day, the sun was shining brightly in the sky and it lifted up my mood a little. Thankfully I didn't have any breakdowns today. After breakfast, I picked up the watering can and began watering the plants outside. As I was doing so I heard screeching of tyres. I stopped my work and turned my head to look at the entrance gate to find a familiar black Mercedes.
She got out of the backseat and slid her shades on top of her head. She was familiar, I couldn't see her face clearly except the blue eyes which after a short search, landed on mine.
She entered the gates and walked towards me with her arms stretched, she wrapped them around my figure and caressed my hair. Shockingly I didn't break down but I also didn't hug her back. I just stood there listening to her at the same time I can't. Her lips were moving but I can't hear a single word she is saying.
"Your car will be here in an hour. All the arrangements have been made. Go get ready." Suddenly I was able to. "Where am I going?" I asked, my voice sounded foreign to my own ears. Well, I was speaking after a week after all.
"Italy. That's the only place no one would find you. You will stay undisturbed." She squeezed my shoulder and started pushing me towards the house.
The next thing I know I'm standing in front of the mirror in the room I was staying in and looked at the light yellow sundress. No matter how beautiful the dress was it still didn't distract me from looking at my messed up face. Dark circles outlined my eyes and my cheekbones were visible too because of my poor diet. I sighed and looked away.
"Your car is here with your bags Alison! Let's go." I heard the same woman yell. I still can't recognize her although I know she's someone close to me. I pulled my phone out of the charger but still didn't switch it on. I decided to do it in the car. At least my dad need to know about my well being. Even though I'm not fine, at least alive. I'm sure he'll understand. I wore some flat sandals and sat in the backseat of the car. An unfamiliar lady driver got in the driver seat and smiled at me. I didn't smile back though.
The car started and soon it was moving. I sighed for the third time and switched my phone on. It took almost five minutes to stop the vibrations from the notifications I was receiving. Once it was at peace, I checked my phone.
594 voicemails
982 messages
86 missed calls.
I sighed and cleared my notification list. As I was just about to call dad I received a call from Ian. I was expecting the tear works to start but it didn't. I was feeling numb. It was a good thing, right?
I made up my mind to not receive the call but maybe this will be the last time I'll hear from him.
Suddenly something snapped inside of me. No! I'm not going to lose myself. I lost the love of my life but I still have myself to love. I'll talk to him, I'll talk to him one last time and leave my past behind me, forever.
The call was just about to disconnect but I answered it. He apologized for something he didn't do intentionally but still, I couldn't bring myself to forgive him, so I just said him to forget about me and disconnected the call before he could reply. I was in no condition to talk anymore, so I texted my dad saying I'm okay and I just need a break, I love him a lot and I'll call him soon. I rolled my window down and looked at my phone one last time before switching it off and throwing it out of the window as far as I can.
"Ma'am!" The lady driver exclaimed wide-eyed. "Don't stop. Keep moving." I told her. She glanced at me once in the rear-view mirror before going back to the road. I turned my head and looked at the trees passing by. We were currently on a long one-way road. Since it was middle of the day, it was empty and thank god it was. I love driving on a long road, alone.
"Do you have water?" I asked the lady since I was thirsty. She nodded and reached for the bottle on the passenger seat and passed it to me. I mumbled a thank you and took a swig. Suddenly my eyes landed on the necklace dangling around her neck. "Your necklace is beautiful," I said. She smiled at me in the rear-view and said thanks. "My mom used to have the same one," I added. She just nodded in reply. The ride was going to be a little long so I decided to get some sleep. Small cushions were placed in the backseat so I grabbed one and pulled my legs up before hugging it close to my chest and closing my eyes. I soon drifted off to sleep.
I was woken up when my body was harshly thrown in the front, the seatbelt burned my chest.
Tyres screeched, glasses broke, metals crashed.
My body rolled in circles along with the car but I held the cushion closer to my chest. I began to tell myself it's just a bad dream, it will pass but the taste of blood in my mouth told me otherwise. My vision was beginning to get blurry. I looked to my side slowly when I heard footsteps after the silence of the crash.
"Help!" A low whisper escaped my mouth. The person crouched down and blue eyes came in front of my blurry vision.
"There Ali! I freed you from your misery. Have a great life." She laughed "I mean death!" She whispered the last word slowly as if she was happy about it. Suddenly I heard a sound of an engine.
"Athena! Someone's coming!" Someone yelled. "Goodbye Ali!" The person in front of me said and then everything went black.
I woke up gasping for air. I touched my forehead and froze when I felt a wet sensation. I looked at my hand and sighed when I realized it was just sweat. Frantically I looked at my body to see any damage but I found none.
"Alison!" Someone yelled at my side making me jump. I looked at the person who did so and instantly relaxed. "Are you okay?" He asked lifting his hand to touch me but I motioned him to stop.
"I'm fine!" I answered curtly. "Here!" He said and gave me a glass of water. I emptied the glass and handed it back to him. I moved back and rested my back on the headrest while Ian sat in the armchair, his eyes stuck on me.
"Where are the kids?" I asked.
"They'll be back from school anytime." He answered. That means I was out for an entire day. "Dr.Reed said there's nothing to worry about." He added when I didn't say anything else. I just nodded my head.
"I'm sorry!" He said after a long, uncomfortable silence. I responded with the only sentence.
"I need a break!"
******
Hey guys! Here's another update. Your thoughts?
Personally, I enjoyed writing it. FINALLY!! you guys got to know what happened in Alison's life after she left the venue of Ian and Ashley's wedding and here too there's a mention of Athena. Who do you think is Athena? I'll give you a hint. I've read all your guesses and one of them right! xD Comment beside the name of the character you think is Athena.
Ashley. (the sister)
Emily. (the best friend)
Marie. (the motherly figure maid)
Amelia. (Ashley's mother)
Sophia. (the babysitter)
Judy. ( the barista)
A completely different character.
Also, there will be more five updates. The last update will be on 31st December 2017 and in that update, I'll post three chapters. I'll be saying goodbye to this book along with 2017 *sniffles* (Don't worry, I'll give a long ass A/N at the end of the Epilogue xD)
Until next time!
Toodles!