Playlist :
Before After - Essx Station
Alison/Sapphire
I waved at the retreating cab with my colleagues in it, who waved back at me. With a sigh I walked inside the gates of my new home. The corner of my lips tucked upwards when I saw Marie playing with the kids in the garden. She had a satin cloth wrapped around her eyes while she chased the kids who were giggling and running around. "Mommy!" Ryker yelled when he saw me and came running in my open arms. Raine and Nathan following him behind.
Ian and I had a talk in the car when he was driving me to work and we settled on either one of us to be with Nathan at all times. He was doubtful to even let Marie near him, can't blame him though. After I assured him that his doubts are a load of bullcrap he relaxed and phoned Marie to be with Nathan and the twins at all times. He even made a decision to move Nathan in the twins room and instructed Marie to move in a single bed on the adjacent side of Ryker's bed who was more then happy to share his side of the room. Surely nobody's going to harm Nathan when he is with the twins and their room is opposite mine and beside Ian's so even if anyone tries anything, we'll know it.
Now since we made all the arrangements to keep Nathan safe, our attention is going to be shifted on finding out who is the person abusing him. At first I had a doubt on Ashley and I was relieved to know that Ian thought so too until he realised that Ashley has spent the least amount of time with Nathan and mostly avoided being with him but still, she remains on the top of our suspected person's list, honestly she's the only person in that list.
"You are back early." Marie chided walking behind us inside the house. "Yes! The rush was less today and the evening chef came in early." I replied and poured myself a glass of water as the kids ran in their room to do their homework. "I'll be right there!" I yelled behind them. I got a series of 'okay' before the sound of their tiny feets running around vanished.
"Tired?" Maried asked placing a cup of coffee in front of me. "Not really, just a headache." I replied and sipped on it. "Why don't you go to the doctor honey? It's been constantly there." She said and looked at me with concern. I offered a small smile "The doctor says its nothing to worry about and writes down some pills and give me. Its same procedure I go every time so I'll that be." I chuckled.
As Marie was about to say something a loud thump noise sounded, making us turn our heads towards the direction of our door to find a girl on the floor with her dark hair covering her face while she moaned in pain. "Lilly!" Marie rushed towards the girl to help her up.
"How did you slip?" She asked looking for any injuries, when she found none Marie looked sternly at Lilly to find her grinning at her mischievously. "Ouch?" Lilly offered in a mocking tone. Marie rolled her eyes and slapped her shoulder.
"Calm down oldie! I'm fine!" She said and turned Marie around by her shoulders and began pushing her towards the direction where I was sitting, that's when her green eyes landed on mine.
"Hey!" She exclaimed gleefully and rushed to hug me. I awkwardly patted her back and mumbled back a 'Hi'. As she pulled away Marie glared at her warningly. A frown of confusion married my face and I looked between the old woman and the young one.
"Oh! How silly of me?" Marie slapped her forehead and shook her head at herself. "Sapphire! This is Lilly, my granddaughter. Lilly, Sapphire!" Was it just me or Marie seemed to stress on my name a little more then necessary? Lilly's eyes widened a little but she laughed to cover it up. "Hi Sapphire! Sorry about earlier. I'm a really friendly person." She said with a apologetic grin. I just brushed her off with a smile "It's okay."
"Staying for dinner?" I asked as I finished my coffee. "As much I'll love to stay I couldn't. A unexpected project has come my way and I need to get rid of quickly." She said and bit on an apple. "Maybe next time." She added. "What project? Maybe I can help." I said. Marie mentioned to me earlier that Lilly is in Chicago studying Hotel Management trying to be a chef. Atleast I know a thing or two. Sheoked at me then smiled with a shake of a head. "As much I'll love your help, I need to get done with it on my own." She replied and quickly started walking towards the door.
"Oh!" She stopped and turned around walking towards me. "Here! There was mail for you in front. I was coming in so I took it." She said and handed me a small brown envelope. I smiled at her with gratitude but before I could say a thanks she was out of the door while yelling a 'good-bye' which came out muffled because of the apple in her mouth.
I handed the empty cup to Marie and stood up from my chair to turn around and walk upstairs. "I'll better go look after them because I'm sure they are not doing their homework." I said to which Marie laughed.
Surely paper planes were flying around by the time I reached their room. I shook my head mumbling 'Kids!' under my breathe.
**
Buzz.. Buzz.. Buzz..
I picked up my phone from the coffee table, my lips lifted in a smile as I read the name of the caller. Sliding the answer button I pressed it against my ear whilst keeping the laptop aside.
"Well, look who finally decided to call!" I drawled out with a mocking voice. Laugh dripping from my each word. I could imagine him rolling his brown eyes at me "You could've called too." He said. "You are a busy man now, my call will end up going to your voicemail so I don't call." I said to which he only chuckled.
"I missed you!" He sighed over the phone.
"Missed? So we are speaking in past tense now, are we?" I asked with a mock sternness in my voice. "Jesus Saph!" He sighed heavily "Fine! I miss you." He said and hissed the 's' like a snake making me laugh. "I miss you too Caleb." I said. Somehow I managed to keep Caleb away from my problems because he was facing a tons of his own. I was feeling guilty about it since we promised to never lie or hide something from each other but I assured myself by telling that once I find a firm and permanent solution, I'll tell him.
"How are you?" He asked followed by a yawn. "I'm good, how are you?" I asked back. "As good as I can get." He replied. His voice seemed off and I know something was bothering him. I thought it was something work related but that didn't stopped me from asking. "What is bothering you Caleb?" He didn't answer for few minutes and I thought he slept until I heard him sigh heavily. "It's late Sapphire. I should probably go to sleep. Give the twins my love. Bye!" He said and disconnected the call. I looked at my lockscreen that had the picture of the twins and frowned.
Okay.. what was that all about?
I shrugged and let it slide. I'll ask him when he calls me again. I was torn away from my thoughts when I saw Ian walking downstairs with a pale look on his face. Beads of sweat trickled down the side of his face. Immediately concern surged through me and I was walking towards him.
As if sensing my presence, his eyes immediately landed on me. He rushed towards me and pulled me closer to his chest. My heart stopped beating at that moment. It took a minute for me to realise that Ian's arms were wrapped around me in a possessive way. He sighed on my hair like he was relieved to see me there.
Part of me wanted to push him away but the other part of me was jumping in joy. I was feeling happy, content.... complete. As if my hands had a mind of their own, they lifted and I found myself hugging him back. Ian stiffened a little but immediately relaxed. His shirt filled my fists and I inhaled his cologne.
At that moment everything else seemed to vanish. It was just us, holding each other in their arms. I could feel his erratic heartbeat under my ear and I was aware of mine too. They were in sync. He held me so gently, yet firmly that it swelled my heart. Nobody has ever held me so dearly, not even Caleb. Yes, his hugs were warm but they never made me aware of my heartbeat just the way Ian's hugs were making me now. I couldn't even imagine what his kiss might.....
My eyes snapped open at that. Holy crap! What am I doing? I loosened my grip on his shirt and I felt Ian's grip loosen around me too. I pulled away and tucked a loose piece of hai behind my ear which was bad move because it gave Ian a clear view of the pink blush on my cheeks, which was there because of him. I jumped slightly when I felt his thumb on my cheek, caressing it softly. I looked at his face and saw him looking at my cheek with a adoring smile.
"Um.. do you need something?" I asked as I moved away from his touch. I immediately missed his touch. I looked at his hand which he retracted back with a pained look on his face but masked it quickly with a smile. "No!" He said. "Do you, want to talk about it?" I asked carefully that I might not step out of my boundary. He contemplated for a while and nodded with a smile that had a whole different meaning to it.
"I'll go get some coffee." I said and walked in the kitchen. After I made two cups, I walked towards the back porch and found Ian sitting on the stair. I sat beside him, maintaing some distance and handed him his cup. We sat there silently for a while sipping on our coffees.
"It was a bad dream." He began. I kept silent because I think that's what he wants me to be. "I saw her accident. The yellow Porsche, she fell in love with that car when she first saw it in the showroom. The next day I had that car standing in front of my door for her. I don't know, it just made me buy it for her. She never asked me for anything. That's how she was but that didn't mean she didn't want something. I made sure to give her that. She was happy that day and seeing her happy made me happy." He stopped for while before continuing.
"I was standing on the one-way road. It was past midnight. The road was filled with police cars and ambulances but I could only see the yellow car burning up in flames and the smell of flesh burning . I was so shock to even cry. Everything was just too much for me to proceed. The only time I processed everything in was after we buried her ashes." He looked down at his hands around the cup. I knew that was the end. He wasn't going to tell me more about it.
"How was she?" I asked. Name was not needed to be mention as he already knew who we were talking about. A smile lightened up his face and I knew he was pulled away from the dark memories.
"Beautiful. In and out." He answered. A annoying feeling settled in the pit of my stomach at that. I found myself wanting that look and words for me. I wanted my name to lighten up his mood.
Okay Sapphire! Get a grip. It was just a hug. You don't have any claim on him and he's talking about his dead wife of heaven's sake.
I scolded myself.
"But I understood that after she left me." He added bringing me back to present. I frowned at him. He lifted his head, his blue eyes holding mine captive with great intensity making my heart run like a racing horse. "I didn't realised how much I loved her until I watched her walking away from me without turning back. I didn't realised how much my life would be barren without her until she said her last goodbye. I didn't realise how much I will be empty until I watched her burn. I didn't know what regret was until I watched her being buried and didn't say to her how much I loved her." He said.
His words were poking my heart like thousand needles. There were so many emotions swirling behind those beautiful eyes, but what stood out the most was the look of pure admiration and love. Love was his ex-wife. It pained my heart to see the regret, guilt and pain in his eyes.
I uncounciously lifted my hand and touched his cheek gently. His eyes closed and he leaned into my touch. My thumb caressed his cheek and he sighed in content. I snapped back to reality when I heard Raine calling for me. I quickly pulled my hand and stood up. His eyes snapped open but he didn't lift his head to look at me.
"Coming!" I yelled to Raine. Swallowing the bile I turned and walked inside the house like my tail was on fire.
I gave Raine the water she needed and tucked her in her bed. Checking up on the boys, I walked in my room and sat on the bed. I sighed heavily as my thoughts ran back to Ian. I can't fight the attraction towards him. It's like he is the fire and I'm the moth, drawing towards him even when I know that it will cause me nothing but death. I can't shake off his face when he talked about his ex-wife. So much pain and regret was behind those words.
I puffed out my cheeks and looked around my room to distract myself. My eyes zeroed on the packet Lilly handed me earlier the day. I stood up and lifted it in my hand. Tearing up the top I pulled the sheet of white and read the words printed on it.
Leave the house, before I make you.
******
Hello! Here's another update because I thought the last update was not enough and satisfying. I hope you guys like it.
Love,
Aastha.