Okay so a quick note before I begin.
I was gonna tell y'all at the end but I'm gonna just tell you now. This book is based off of a true story. It's actually something I went through and am unfortunately still going through. So maybe y'all will understand more, I'm not sure. I am Ariel. 🤦🏽♀️
Also, I'm trying to update a lot on the weekends since my updates come in so slow during the week.
But yeah, enjoy!
Ariel
The next day had come around and I'm over at Jaie's house getting Armani ready to go.
Really, I don't wanna talk about her, Chris, her problems, or mine. I just want to get Armani and leave. And Jaie is actually making it easy for me. She's not talking about her or Chris. She's just being normal and asking how my day has been and all of that.
"My day has been fine." I fake smiled and placed Armani on her changing table. "You?" I asked while taking off her onesie.
"Hmm it's been good. I missed ya." She said, standing next to me while standing on her toes, kissing my cheek.
Does she not remember what the fuck I found out yesterday?
I took my attention off of Armani and looked at Jaie. She was looking at me like she didn't know what the hell I was getting iffy about. I sighed and ignored it, then went back to changing Armani.
Yes, I still want to be around Jaie. Because I love her. But, it's hard man. Knowing she chooses everyone over me every damn time and doesn't even second think it. Like damn did she even think about me before going and making it official with Chris?
Last night I didn't even drink, or think. Cam brought me home and I went straight to sleep. Then woke up to a few texts from Jaie asking if I could come over today. She's literally acting like everything is normal.
Jaie smiled at me and helped me change Armani- like I needed her damn help. Eye roll.
I picked up Armani and sat on the bed smiling while bouncing on her leg.
"You wanna do anything today baby?" Jaie asked while sitting in a chair kicking her feet.
"Why you acting like ain't shit happened yesterday?" I asked and she finally dropped the act and sighed while groaning.
"My god Ari. Why are you so worried about Chris and I? Leave it alone. Chris and I aren't official, Okay? We're not. We claim each other but we're not together. So you have nothing to worry about right now."
Well shit, I spent two months listening to your fucking problems and now out of nowhere I need to drop it and not worry that you just got into a fucking relationship with a bitch who makes you happier than I do apparently?
So all this shit was a joke? Or whatever the fuck these people had going on? Man I don't have the patience.
I just shook my head and went back to playing with Armani. I guess just acting like nothing happened would probably make me feel better. Going every day in denial sounds great but what the fuck am I gonna do when everything gets thrown in my face? Keep denying it and drive myself insane?
I guess until I can brace myself and gather up the courage to leave her, I can just try and ignore it and just continue on in life. Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do. Act like everything is fine and play this bitch ass game that Jaie is trying to play.
As long as I stay dominant, my feelings won't get so caught up in the bitch. But as soon as I go feminine, watch me be wrapped around her finger like I have been all these years.
My phone vibrated and I pulled it out, seeing that it was a text from Cam.
BFF💍: Hey Love, how are you feeling this morning? I'm coming over! Hopefully you're up!
I left it on my screen and turned it off again, then slid my phone in my pocket and stood up putting Armani in her car seat.
"Cam wants to come over so I'm gon' go home and meet up with her for a lul bit." I said, and Jaie nodded. I picked up the car seat and put the diaper bag on my shoulder with Jaie's help. Then she stood up on her toes and kissed my lips softly. I smirked against her lips then moved away and walked out of the door.
She's tryna have her damn cake and eat it too dawg. Whatever.
-
"No bitch, you can't do that." Cam straight faced me as I told her what had just happened between Jaie and I.
"She just fucking left you not even 24 hours ago and you're back already!? Okay they aren't official, but you know they're going to be Ari and you can't even deny that! She chose someone over you -again- and you're back to kissing her and shit? Wow. I just- you don't listen. And then when you get hurt you want to act like you don't know what happened. You didn't do anything wrong because you try to love her and I'm sorry but I have to say, she does not want your love Ariel! She's done with it! You're her entertainment when she's bored. She wants to have her damn cake and eat it too and you're letting her Ariel. I really hope and pray that one day you'll listen to me because it really does suck seeing this happen to you. I love you and I just want the best for you. That girl is not capable of loving you because she doesn't even care about you. You know I'll be here if anything happens but it's tiring, when are you going to be tired of it?" She yelled the whole thing at me.
I sighed and put the pillow over my face, groaning into it. I want to cry, I really do. I'm just so heartbroken and confused. But I'm also trying to pimp it out and act like shit doesn't phase me. I know that if I start acting like an emotional crazy bitch then Jaie will leave me. And I'm not really ready for her to leave yet. I haven't prepared myself, mentally or physically. I couldn't even get my shit together when we broke up.
I stopped drinking when she came back into my life. I didn't do it while she was gone. I couldn't. She made me happy and she was gone. But when she came back, I started getting better.
"I don't know Cam, damn. You act like I'm not hearing shit you say-"
"You're not! Because look at you! You're her side bitch and this isn't the first time!"
Yeah, a year ago Jaie and I had broken up a week or two after we had went and signed the marriage papers. I didn't want to. I wasn't feeling it and I wasn't ready to marry her, at all. She had actually proposed to me the day I was planning on breaking up with her, but I sucked the shit up and kept it going. Then before I knew it we were signing marriage papers and then went straight to the honeymoon. We didn't have sex not once, I wasn't letting it happen. I was unhappy and I was actually talking to someone else. Then I had made her take me back home and we left Hawaii and I left her just to take a break. Then when I was coming back, because I had just needed a break, she was about to get in a relationship with a girl named zhanae. But Jaie had promised me that she was going to get back with me and the next day, she had asked the other girl to be hers. And guess who stayed and became a side bitch? Me! Ha!
I actually proposed to Jaie the day after thanksgiving like a fucking dumb ass even though they were still together. We decided that we could try getting married again and that she would leave the girl. Months had passed and she never did and then the girl broke up with her. And Jaie came running back to me.
I know y'all are probably confused, and y'all know I'm dumb as hell. But, I'll talk more about that later.
"Okay Cam. It's over. I'm done talking about it." I snapped. She shook her head and bent down taking Armani out of her car seat.
"You're my best friend and I love you Ariel. This just makes me sad okay? She's pushing away someone who literally would give up any and everything and I'm sorry I wish I could change that. You always tell me that I don't understand, and I know that I don't. I never will, Okay? But no matter how much you love someone you can't just go back and do what the fuck they want. Value yourself more than that."
That was all she said before she began playing with Armani, and I lied there with my eyes closed and my mind blank. We all know that she's right. But we also know that I'm not going to listen sadly.
-
"Ew move." I laughed as Kyla tickled my feet.
"No!" She yelled. I screamed and moved my feet around in the air, squirming all around. She laughed and wouldn't stop, so got up, tackled her, and flipped us both off of the bed.
We started play fighting, pulling each other's hair and throwing actual punches but laughing at the same time.
"Okay okay time out!" I yelled and we both let go. I was out of breath. Damn this bitch tried to kill me.
We both climbed back up onto my bed and laughed while catching our breath.
Kyla came over just to hang out. She said Jaie was out and she was bored, so she had nothing else to do and I told her she could come over if she wanted.
I could always be a kid around Kyla. I've known her since I was 15, and she was 14. And now we're 21 and 20 and we've come a long ass way. I guess you could say she's the only one that's still in my life from the beginning. I met her before I met Tray, and I always had a crush on Kyla but Tray asked me out first. Kyla was in military school too so I didn't really get to talk to her much, so my focus was on Tray. Then Kyla came back and my heart went to her and I left Tray for her. Kyla and I were together off and on for a year, but then we decided to officially call it quits and now we're like sisters. Even though we lose touch sometimes, we always managed to bounce back in the end.
We lost touch more often than usual when her and Jaie had become best friends. It was weird to me and I got mad and I had actually said I hated Kyla at some points. I always told Jaie to stop talking talking to her because I felt like Jaie had feelings for her. And actually, the other day Jaie had confessed that while we were together she did have feelings for Kyla but she never acted on them. Then I had asked Kyla about it and Kyla thought it was funny and said she'd never seen Jaie like that because Jaie wasn't her type. She said a lot of shit about Jaie actually, but hey, they're still best friends because I guess Jaie never found out. But I know the things she's said though.
"So like, tell me why Jam is trying to get at me again." Kyla said while pulling out her phone.
"Who the hell is Jam?" I asked, and she gasped.
"I never told you about her?" She asked, and I shook my head 'no' while looking at her.
"Well, Jam is this girl that I had met on instagram. Shes so fine- my gosh! But, we lost touch and we stopped talking. I forgot what the reason was. But she had texted me the other day and was like 'Hey KP, I miss you. I just wanna say I'm sorry for what happened between us and I still think about you' and girl it just went from there." She said excitedly. I raised my eyebrows and nudged her.
"Bitch go for it. Duh."
"I want to, but I talk to a girl named Jocelyn."
"Okay, well how long have you known Jocelyn?"
"I mean not that long. Just a few months. She's getting kind of dry and boring but she's really cute." She sighed and I shrugged.
"I mean I can't make the choice for you, but maybe choose whoever makes you happier? I've never had to make a choice like that before." I said and she groaned.
"Now I know how Jaie feels."
I rolled my eyes and took out my phone.
"You don't."
"Okay stop don't go getting all mad Ari. I was just saying. But okay like Jam is going to bootcamp because she's going to the army. And Jocelyn isn't, so I was thinking maybe I should just talk to the both of them and get a feel on how they're both acting and stuff before I make a choice."
I shrugged and nodded slowly in agreement. "That sounds like a good idea. You'll get to see how they both are, then make a choice. But make sure you study them closely. Look at the good and bad qualities they both have to offer."
"Right." She said while beginning to text someone. I yawned and pulled the cover over my face, closing my eyes.
-
"Si, I'm sorry I haven't really been talking to you. But I have to tell you something and I really don't want you to hate me." Aniyah sighed. I pressed the phone up against my ear and furrowed my eyebrows, still half asleep. Kyla was snoring loud as hell and hanging off of the bed. Armani is lying next to me whimpering softly in her sleep.
"What?" I said in a groggily voice. She sighed once again and stayed quiet before beginning to speak again.
"Okay so I told you that I'd get over Slim because I shipped y'all and believed y'all would get back together and stuff. But I can't get over her and it's so hard. And I feel like such a bad friend, really. My feelings for her are just so strong and I can't seem to get rid of them." I rolled my eyes and took the phone from my ear, looking at the time. 11 at night. I rubbed my eyes and put the phone back to my ear before yawning.
"Okay Aniyah I really don't have the time for this right now. You like her? Okay have her. I really don't care. It's not much of a big deal to me."
"Okay but you're my friend and I know how much you love her-"
"I don't love her I'm fine."
"I'm sorry."
"No need."
"Si, really. I don't want you to be mad at me. She's just so sweet and stuff like I can't help it. I fell really hard for her."
"You liked her since before we met, I mean I don't expect you to get over her in a heartbeat but I also don't expect you to go after her or anything."
Like yeah, I can't just make her magically stop liking Jaie. And at least she's being honest. As long as she doesn't make any moves on Jaie knowing that she calls me her "friend" then it's cool, but if she does then I'm going off and I'm not fuckin' with her no more.
Even though Jaie and Chris aren't together, and it was just a joke, they're going to get together soon. We already know. She fell hard for Chris and she really likes her and there's no stopping that. So, even if Aniyah does do anything.. Jaie wouldn't go after her. Plus Aniyah is a fem. Jaie likes studs now.
"Okay man. You know what's respectful and what's not." I said, then hung up on her. I then put my phone down and took my ass back to sleep, only to be woken up again by my phone vibrating. A message from Cam.
BFF💍: BITCH WTF LOOK!
I clicked on the attachment and seen that it was a screenshot from Aniyah's Instagram page. She had posted a picture of herself and Jaie and in the caption section, she wrote a long ass paragraph. It's funny how Cam doesn't even know what just happened between me and Aniyah but she already seen some iffy ass shit. I love how Cam is always lurking on social media man, because I barely be on it and cam always hits me up with evidence and shit.
In the paragraph she talked about all of her feelings for Jaie and how attached she is. She talked all about how she makes her days better and all this other disgustingly cute shit. Wow. I chuckled to myself and went to my messages with Aniyah.
Me: Mane fuck you. You hella funny yo. You call me and tell me not to hate you and all this shit and then you go and post about my ex? Mane yous a low down dirty bitch. Don't call or text my phone nomo yo.
She immediately replied.
Aniyah: Si I'm so sorry, no please. I told you I couldn't help my feelings.
Me: you sound so damn dumb bro. Take yo dumb ass on.
Jaie and I were talking about Aniyah the other day and she had told me she didn't even fuck with Aniyah like that because Aniyah was annoying and all this other shit. So if they didn't talk like that, then Aniyah shouldn't have feelings for her like that. Hm.
I called Jaie and she answered on the first ring.
"Man yo bitch posting about you."
"That's not my bitch I don't like that damn girl like that. She's fuckin' crazy and all this other shit. She should know I don't see her like that." She said, and I chuckled.
"I guess she obviously don't know that. Telling me bout' how you sweet and shit. You must be flirting wit' her. But that ain't my business doe'." I said, then hung up and tossed my phone back onto the nightstand. Fuck them. I'm going to sleep.
-
•I was thinking about making a book about the beginning of Jaie and Ariel's relationship after I was done with this one. I guess just to explain the events that had added up to all of this.
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