Ariel
"Ugh, Ari. You need to talk to this girl." Jaie groaned while handing me her phone. I looked at the screen and seen it was her messages between herself and a girl named Aniyah.
Aniyah had typed a long paragraph about how she's been feeling, all about her bad breakup and how she's feeling mentally, physically, and emotionally. Really, everything that she was saying had described myself actually. It looked like a message that I could've typed to myself. Just the way she claimed to feel, the way she was dealing with the breakup, and the way she was saying that her ex was acting was like my whole situation with Jaie. I was in shock a bit as I read it, imagining myself. My eyes moved down to Jaie's simple ass reply.
Jaie: Aye I got someone that can help you. You mind if I show her? She's nice I promise.
Aniyah: uh.. I guess.
Jaie: Shes my ex. She's going through the same thing, and I promise she gives the best advice ever. I love the girl.
Aniyah: I'm trusting you, Slim.
And that was it. I looked up at Jaie once I finished reading and she nodded her head towards my phone. I picked it up and unlocked it, then went to my message and pressed compose new message. I typed in the number that I found under her contact in Jaie's phone, then handed Jaie her phone.
Jaie put her phone down and then got up and walked into the bathroom. I sat there for a moment, debating on what to text this girl. I remember one day Jaie was telling me about how annoying this girl was and how she keeps pushing herself onto her and always posting pictures of them. Aniyah acted like she and Jaie were together. So, what business did I have helping her..? Why would I want to help her anyways? I sighed and finally began typing.
Me: Hey Aniyah, Jaie gave me your number. You may know her as Slim though. She also told me what you're going through, and I just wanna let you know that it's okay and you aren't alone. You have someone now who is going through the same thing as you. Believe me, I know how you feel. In your message with Slim, you had said that you felt alone but you aren't, believe me. I know this hurts, and it's honestly going to hurt for a while. But as long as you keep your head up and you keep trying, you'll feel better overtime. I just wanna let you know I'm here for you now, and I'm always full of advice.
I sent it and put my phone down just as Jaie was coming out of the bathroom. She half smiled and layed down at the bottom of the bed, pulling out her phone texting "Chrissyyyy" which was most likely Chris. A bit of disappointment lingered around in my heart, but I shook it off and picked up my phone when I felt it vibrate. I watched Jaie as she blushed and kicked her feet around, then looked down at my phone.
Aniyah: thank you so much.. I'm a mess right now. Would you mind meeting up somewhere? I'm shaking so much I can't even text really.
I sighed and put my hand over my face. I don't feel like being Dr. Phil, and I'm a bit upset still. Who was here to help me when I was going through this? Cam gave me pep talks, Monica left me, Tray made me feel even more guilty, Jaie left me, Kyla left and came back a few days ago when she let me cry to her, and who else? I don't even know but I know that they damn sure aren't here anymore because I would've been able to name em if they were still around.
I rolled my eyes and looked back at my phone, beginning to type.
Me: Sure, McDonalds?
She immediately replied.
Aniyah: Sure, see you in like 30.
I locked the screen and slid my phone in my pocket while clearing my throat. McDonald's is down the street, so I don't have to leave right now. Jaie sighed and I looked up.
"What?"
"She's texting me again." She said, referring to the girl that she had been crying over all month. You know, she never even told me her name and she isn't planning on it.
"Ignore her. Focus on Chris." I said as I pulled out my phone, going to the game Color Switch.
A few moments passed and I heard her sniff, then I sighed and placed my phone down while reaching forward. I gripped her leg and pulled her towards me, then pulled her on my lap and looked at her. Her lip was poked out and she looked sad.
"She keeps calling me a bitch and stuff.. She's mad about Chris." She said lowly, beginning to chew on her lip.
"Block her, Jaie. You keep letting her speak to you like that then she's gonna continue. The bitch knows that she has you wrapped around her finger and you need to stop that." It's funny how I can easily give Jaie the advice that I really need to be giving my damn self.
"You're the best." She said while poking out her lip.
"Well yeah, that's why you keep me around." I chuckled, and she shook her head 'no'.
"That's not why I keep you around. I keep you around because I love you and I need you. Without you, I'll go crazy! You don't know how many people told me 'leave her alone Jaie' like bitch shut up, you don't know what her and I have and how our bond is." Jaie laughed, and I nodded while chuckling.
Really, Jaie makes me so happy that I can't even explain it. But I always have this empty feeling, 24/7. The feeling that is vulnerable for love. I just want love, and not any love, but her love.
Jaie and I had continued talking for a little bit, about how she's doing, a bit about her and Chris, and other random shit. I haven't talked to her much about other stuff because she's been so sad over 'ole girl that she's all we talk about. Soon, Jaie's phone vibrated and she picked it up while getting off of me, laying on her stomach. I looked over a bit and seen Chris's name. My heart sank a bit and I played with a loose string on my jeans.
I just.. I don't even know.
Seeing how happy someone else makes her makes me sad because it's like.. What am I not doing? I'm literally giving her my heart and I have everything in the world to offer her.
I cleared my throat and stood up, fixing my shorts.
Jaie slowly looked up from her phone, finishing up her text.
"I'm going-"
"I already know, Aniyah told me." Jaie said while smiling. All I did was nod and walk out of the room.
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"Hey!" Aniyah smiled while I sat down at the table. Instead of greeting her back, I stood there staring at her face. She looks mighty familiar. After a few moments of running through my mind, I finally figured it out and my face went from a half smile, to a complete straight face.
She's the bitch that posted that picture of her on Jaie's lap and Armani on her lap.
Okay Ari.. she needs help. Be nice.
I put on a fake smile and sat down at the table in front of her. She handed me a apple pie and I shook my head.
"I'm good, I don't feel like eating. But wassup?"
"I just wanna thank you so much for your message. I'm sorry for asking to meet up, I just really needed to be in someone's company. Slim didn't wanna come and meet me anywhere. She's an ass." She giggled. I shrugged and tapped on the table.
I don't feel like being friendly, I just wanted to give her advice and shit and then go home. My phone vibrated and I pulled it out, raising my eyebrows once I seen the name that was on my screen.
Tray: Hey babygirl.
I half smiled and texted back.
Me: Hey love, what's up? How are you?
I placed my phone in my lap and looked up at Aniyah. She was rambling on and on about her ex, I don't even know when it was that she had began talking. I began paying attention, but every time Tray would text me I'd quickly take my attention off of Aniyah and look at my phone. Tray and I had ended up planning a meet up for tonight at around 11. She'd be in town by then and she said I was the first face she wanted to see. It made me blush.. That was sweet.
As time passed by, it was 10 and Aniyah and I had been talking for a long ass time. She asked a lot about Jaie and I, I guess so she could get a feel of what I was going though too. She was so shocked by everything that I was saying.
"And you know.. I just- I don't even know what to say. She literally acts like I don't exist. And I bet Slim probably did that with you since you said your situation is the exact same. It sucks doesn't it? I just don't know how to let it go. I really don't And it sucks. You know, when Jaie told me 'she's my ex and she's going through the same thing' I was here like 'umm well are you proud of that or something?' Because she said it like it was nothing. And now I'm talking to you and I just don't see how she could play someone like you. Like, you're amazing! How could she do that to you? I'm just so shocked and upset with her. You know, I had feelings for her but I'm gonna push those far far away because I believe in y'all and I believe it can work!" She giggled.
Oh god, this bitch sure can talk. Shes been rambling for two hours and I'm honestly tired of listening to it. Why'd she have to mention the fact that she had feelings for Jaie though? Like bitch don't tell me that.
"Yeah, it's coo. But, I got plans and I gotta go. Call me if you need me." I fake smiled as I got up, she did too. I gave her a quick side hug, then dipped out of McDonald's and to my car.
-
"Hey." I smiled as I opened my front door. Tray came to pick me up, because she said it was pointless to drive two cars. I'm so surprised that she even wants to speak to me after I left her at the hotel by herself.
"Wassup?" She smirked as she pulled me close to her, embracing me in one of her warm hugs. Once we let go, I stepped outside and closed the front door. We walked to her car and she opened the door for me as usual, letting me get in. I smiled while putting in my seatbelt and she closed my door then walked to her side and got in.
"Since we didn't go to the beach, wanna go?" She asked me, and I tilted my head to the side.
"It's kind of cold. We can sit on a bench and cuddle while the wind blows." I chuckled, and she made a face.
"That actually doesn't sound too bad."
I leaned my head on her shoulder as we sat there on the bench. The waves were crashing and the wind was blowing quite a bit. But it honestly felt great. Just being out in the beautiful night with her, knowing that she didn't have any hard feelings towards me for what I did to her.
I sat up and looked at her before clearing my throat. "Why'd you text me?"
"I had a feeling you would ask that. I missed you. And I know that last time it had ended up being a disaster, but, I can assure you that my only intention is to make tonight great." She smiled while looking down at me. I nodded slowly and looked out at the sand.
"I mean, I do wanna say that I deeply apologize for leaving you up there that night. I guess that's another thing that we can add on to the list of fucked up things that I've done to you. I honestly and truly don't mean to seem like such an ignorant, careless asshole or like a bitch. I honestly wish that I could've taken back everything I did when we were together, all of the hurt I've ever caused you, and all those years that have gone by with you trying to pick up the pieces to your heart that I broke. While you've been at college I've really been thinking of what to say about what you said, and I never could think of something to say. Why? I don't know. But now, I guess my thoughts are finally coming out. And I know sorry doesn't take back anything and all these last few years, but that's all I can seem to say at the moment. Im also tremendously sorry for leaving you at the hotel. Really. I guess I was caught off guard and I was scared of facing the truth and facts and everything that really did happen. I messed up someone's heart and for years I've been denying it and running from it. I wish I could've picked up the pieces and not left them for you to pick up your damn self. And I never knew how it felt, until I had to pick up my own pieces also. I'm still in the process and it's been five months, so I now know how you've been feeling. And I know you've probably wanted to tell me how you felt for the longest so that you could finally get it off of your chest and move on, and I fucked that up. But I just wanted to let you know I've been thinking and I didn't just brush off our conversation like I brushed off our relationship.."
I wasn't crying, I actually feel so much better. I apologized and got some of the things off of my heart that had been on here heavily.
I looked over and Tray and she was staring out into the sky, smiling
"That's all I've wanted." She said before reaching down, grabbing my hand.
I honestly still had a tiny bit of love for Tray, and Tray always acted like she adored me. But I always mess things up for myself, and either push her away or let her go. And I never realize how much I mess up with her and her heart until she's gone and I begin feeling like shit.
"How's college?" I smiled, changing the subject.
"College is great, and you know, I think I found my dream girl." She smiled. My smile kind of fell off of my face, and I felt a bit uneasy.
Wow.. I let Tray get away again.
I slowly moved my hand from hers, but she didn't seem to think anything of it. I already have to listen to Jaie talk to me about her and 'ole girl and her and Chris, and now Tray talk about this 'girl of her dreams'. Damn, when am I gonna be the one that someone wants?
"That's great Tray, I'm really happy for you. You deserve a great girl." I smiled, she smiled also and nodded. Her smile never left her face.. she must've been thinking about the girl.
"Yeah.. Shes amazing, Ari."
I nodded. "That's good."
I didn't know what to say anymore. I turned straight ahead again and looked out at the water that I could barely even see, and stayed silent while trying to compose myself. Everyone I know is in happy relationships and I can't even seem to find anyone. Yet alone get over someone who is not even interested anymore.
"I'm hungry, you wanna go get some food?" She asked, and I slowly nodded while standing up. She stood also and pointed across the street at a small little restaurant. None really are open this late, but that one always was. Tray and I would actually go there when we first started dating.
I nodded and we began walking that way. I still felt a bit uneasy about the news I had just found out but I guess I need to suck it up.. I'll be fine.
We walked in and seated ourselves. I looked down at the menus while she looked around, admiring the place.
"Damn, this place hasn't changed a bit." She chuckled, and I nodded.
"You remember when we used to come here like every damn Friday? This was our place man." She laughed. I looked up and looked around at the surroundings also, but then my eyes fell on two familiar faces.
Chris and Jaie.
So, that was the Chris that I knew.
I felt my legs begin shaking a bit, the rest of my body too. I don't even know how to feel or what to think. News on top of news man. I swallowed the big lump in my throat and blinked constantly, trying to blink the forming tears away. Was I upset that she was here with Chris? No not really. Chris has nothing to do with me. But, seeing Jaie actively happy and blushing and giggling with someone who isn't me, hurt like no other.
I looked away and picked up the menu, putting it over my face so that tray couldn't see my red cheeks and watery eyes. My heart was beating fast as ever.. I lowkey wanna walk over and make myself relevant but I won't.
"I'm not really hungry." I said as I finally put my menu down, hoping that my face was clear.
"I'll just stop and get something from somewhere else then." She chuckled and put her menu down also.
"I'm sorry, really. I just don't wanna eat." She nodded and stood up, me following behind her.
I lost my appetite and I ruined yet another night with Tray.
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