Colbys POV
I woke up this morning but it felt different like... I don't know I was a little happier then I have been, but of course I'm still down I guess it's just not as bad right now. I check the time on my phone 12:04 pm.. well shit I yawn and stretch getting out of bed walking down stairs I hear everyone down there but Arron is still asleep what a surprise, I walk down stairs everyone goes quiet, I sigh "stop acting like I'm not human just because I've been down lately doesn't mean you need to act any fucking different" I snap sounding a little dickish but I still can't really control my emotions right now, I walk into the tv room where sam was a sit down next to him "wassup" I say to him sounding happier then I did last time we talked "well you seem to be in a good mood" he says looking over at me smiling "yeah I guess, I woke up feeling a little better today" I say to him, but even if I wasn't feeling better I'm not gonna show it anymore because I'm done with all there questions and if I act normal they will stop asking "good, wanna do something today or do you just wanna chill?" He asked "just chill" I respond I feel bad because I'm never fun anymore but I can't do a whole bunch of stuff yet "how's everyone been? Sense I've been kinda away I guess?" I ask him "everyone has been pretty good, we've missed you.... like a lot" he says putting his phone down "yeah I'm sorry" I say sadly "no it's alright, but are you gonna tell the others why you've been acting weird?" He asked me I sighed " I'll tell Elton but that's it, it's not that I can't trust the others I just feel closer with you and Elton" I say sighing again Messing with my fingers "alright well I'm going to Kats, talk to you later bro" he says stand up , ew just fucking ew, sorry I just have always hated her.
Should I tell Elton now or later? I feel like he might actually help me. Even though he always teased me about being gay or whatever even though he never actually thought I was gay it was always a joke he's still like a real uncle he's always there for me when I need him. I'll tell him now.
"Hey Elton, I need to talk to you" I yell from the tv room, my hands are sweaty my head is racing, my god I'm terrified "what's up" he says walking into the room moving a pillow and sitting down looking at me, I look at him fear in my eyes "oh no this is serious" he says getting more comfortable, I take a deep breath before I start "okay, I don't know how you will feel about this, but I'm scared of this I've been fighting this for a long time but it's just getting to me now" I pause for a second "go on....." he says "I-I-I'm g-g-gay" say as tears roll down my cheeks "oh Colby, I know" he says hugging me, wait wait what "h-how d-do you k-know" I ask pulling away "Colby It was just obvious for me, but don't worry I know no one else realized it" he says rubbing my back "but that's not all..." I say trailing off "what else?" He asked confused "I-i l-like b-b-b-brennen" I say he gasped and just stared for a minute "oh my god Colby, is that why you've been so off lately" he asked "y-yeah" I say as tears roll down my cheeks "you have to tell him" he says I nod, I know I do but I don't know how "but how?" I ask looking at him "well that's up to you" he says I nod "I hate to leave but I need to finish editing, if you need anything don't be afraid to come to me, okay?" He says standing up "yeah" I say sinking into the couch.
I pull my phone out I got a text from Brennen,
B: yo how are you today?
C: im alright
I sigh I'm not alright I'm fucked up in a lot of different ways but I don't wanna worry him,
B: good, wanna hang out today?
C: sure
I put my phone in my pocket and walk up stairs, i probably have time for a shower. I walk into the bathroom and look in the mirror, I've never had a good self esteem but it's gotten worst, I take my shirt off and all I can do is point out all my flaws, you how when you stare in the Mirror for so long all you see is your flaws, it's kinda like you change because you don't see anything good anymore I feel like that right now, I sigh turning the water on and strip while the water warms up, I've always hated the way it felt just being naked out in the open, for some reason it made me feel uneasy, it's not really a fear but I just don't like it, after the water warms up I get in, the water hits my back it gives me goosebumps it feel so good, I close my eyes and just let the water hit me, I feel so relaxed so calm I wish I could feel like this all the time but I can't. Eventually I finish showering and get out, I wrap the towel around my waist, the mirror is foggy but I wipe it off with my hand, I sigh looking at my face.
I walk out of the bathroom into my room grabbing some clothes out of my closet, just some black ripped skinny jeans and my pink hoodie I don't even try with my hair I couldn't care less, I grab my phone put it in my pocket and walk down stairs grabbing my keys as I walk out the door the cool hair hits me, it's nice outside 72 degrees? I don't know but it's nice I get in my car. The sun is setting, it's so beautiful
I arrive at brennens and walk up to his door and knock, it's like he was just at the door because he answered in like five seconds "hey wassup" he say letting me come in "not much man, not much" I say smiling, that smile was so fake but nobody ever new I mean I've been using it for months but nobody could ever tell "good, you seem better" he says as we walk to the couch he already has something on, it's Logan Paul, I personally never liked him but hey he does what can I do about it, we sit down he's on one side of the couch I'm on the other "so, feel like telling me why you've been so down lately?" He says with a smile, his smile makes me weak I chuckle on the inside "nope" I say "damn Colby why?" He says laughs a little "you'll know.....one day" I say watching whatever was on his tv "k I guess" he responded
After a while if just blabbering about random shit and watching tv I start feelin a little hungry "I'm hungry brennen" I whine looking over at him "wellll what do you wanna eat" he asked I shrug "I don't know but I don't wanna go out to eat" I say softly "alright" he says standing up going to his kitchen searching for food "well I can make burgers?" (SORRY I DONT FUCKING KNOW) I nod and look back up to the tv but zone out soon after
I walked into the kitchen to help Brennen cook, I wrap my arms around his stomach and rest my head on his shoulder "love you brennen" I whisper in his ear "love you too Colby"
I snap out of it I feel my cheeks heat up, I can't do that at HIS house, "you doin alright Colby? You have been staring at that wall for like ten minutes" he says walking back into the room with two plates in his hands "no I'm fine" I say taking one plate from him, one thing about brennen is that he's actually an amazing cook, I take a bite like I said holy shit it's amazing "it's so good" I say with a mouth full of food, he giggles "thanks"
After around a hour of doing nothing I decide it's time I leave its around 8:45 "welp I should get going" I say standing up "alright" he says standing up and hugging me and walking me to the door "see ya later" he says and I agree, he shuts the door and I get in my car, i sigh but it wasn't a bad sigh if was more of a "I'm proud of myself" sigh because I kept everything cool I thought.
Soon enough I turn into my drive way, I just sat in my car. Is there even a chance brennen might like me? I mean he didn't say bro once today, no I'm just overthinking he's straight he couldn't like me nobody could, I don't blame them just take a look at me for a second. I finally snap out of my thoughts and get out of the care, I walk into the house everyone is out there, Kats there Amanda is there everyone is there in the tv room having a family movie night, no one even texted me, but it's alright I understand it. I'll just go in my room, as I walk up the stairs I look at Elton with sadness he makes eye contact with me I see him look at Amanda and say something but I didn't care I walked into my room and slammed the door and locked it.
'This started out as a thing over brennen but now everything is a mess my own "family" doesn't text or call me for the family thing no one even noticed me besides for elton they probably regret having me move in, everything would be easier if I just wasn't here. No Colby no don't think like that no not again no
I snap out of it and hear someone knocking at my door but I don't wanna see anyone "go the fuck away" I yell, god the old me is coming out from this "Colby let me in" Elton said through the door "did you not hear me I said leave don't waste you're time on something like me" I yell in frustration, I don't wanna let Cole come back I can't I thought he was finally gone "Colby if you don't fucking let me in I'll break this door down" he says, I sigh and get up knowing he actually will, I open the door and he walks in and shuts it "Colby I thought things were better" he says sitting down "no elton it's not, do you even understand what it's like to love you're best friend and he's fucking straight he will never love you the way you love him, I just want him too but it will never happen, I'm a disgusting THING look at me!!!" I yell but not loud enough for everyone else to hear "Colby no I don't know but you have to get over it or tell him and take your chances" he says, I felt the anger flair "YEAH OKAY I CAN JUST THROW AWAY THESE
FEELINGS NO I FUCKING CANT" everyone else probably heard me, I storm out of my room down stairs grabbing my keys I'm just gonna drive and see what happens as I'm walking to the front door I hear someone yell for me "Colby" it's sam he's walking towards me he's the only one who knows about Cole "what do you want" I snap at him "he's back..." he says under his breath sadness hit me I can't let him come back "no he's not sam, I'm leaving for a while just tell everyone I love them k?" I say to him, he looks scared "w-what does that mean" he asked "nothing I'll be back, eventually" I say walking out of the door and get in my car, I don't feel any kind of sadness I just feel anger how the fuck could he say that. He doesn't understand. I know but still.
I don't know where I'm going but I'm not staying here
Sams POV
"Tell everyone I love them k?" He said "w-what does that mean" I ask him I didn't really hear what he said after that, I'm terrified cole is coming back he can't come back not again I run to the tv room "Elton I need you now" I say and pull him into the kitchen "what" he says looking annoyed "listen I know you and Colby were fighting I heard it but... but okay Colby isn't just Colby theres Cole too it's literally someone different it's this angry thing he tells Colby to do awful things like start fights tells him that nobody cares about him sometimes if Cole gets to strong he'll tell Colby to kill him self!!!!!" I say scared, eltons eyes widen "okay where is he and is this Cole thing back" he asked "I-I don't know that my answer to both" I say in a shaky voice "why did you let him leave!!" He almost yelled "I didn't I couldn't stop him" I reply " we have to find him" he says worried I nod.....
Alrighty so this was a crazy chapter, how do y'all feel about Cole? I think it'll make things interesting, and this is over 2,000 words I'm kinda dying