We left late Friday night for New York. The flight to New York was quiet and quick, just over 2 hours to get there and another half an hour to get to our penthouse in the heart of Manhattan. We have a house in the Hamptons but decided to stay in the city because it was closer to the courthouse.
The last time I was in the penthouse was not a good moment in my life. When we got to the house I dropped my bag by the entrance and just looked around. This place looked a lot different now but I could remember all of the bad memories this place holds.
"After this is over I don't want to come back here." I said out loud. My parents both looked at me and nodded before they moved more into the penthouse. Rylie pushed her nose into my leg and I refocused on my dog.
I barely slept at all the first night here. I refused to go into my bedroom. I spent my night parked on the very uncomfortable couch. I deemed that this couch is more for show then for actually sitting on it.
Saturday was spent meeting with lawyers trying to figure out what was going on and why I needed to be here to go before the judge. My team of lawyers went over strategies all day long. After 4pm I had enough and decided to take a walk in the city. Rylie was ready by the door but I just wanted some space from everybody so I left her at home.
The city was starting to come alive on this chilly October night. I somehow made it to the heart of Time Square and just watched people walk by for a while. As the sun started to really set I thought it would be a good idea to head back home. After a stop at my favorite pizza place I got home a little while later.
With a lot of help from my mother I went back into my old room. We spent the most of Sunday cleaning out a lot of my old things. I found a lot of drugs in my bathroom though. I'm surprised that nobody else has been in here since myself two years ago.
Mom got rid of the drugs that I had stocked up on while I went through a lot of my old clothes and pictures. Almost all of the clothes I packed into bags to be given to charity. I had no use for them. They just reminded me of my past and I wanted nothing to do with them. All of the old pictures was of my old friends from my private school here in New York. A solid 98% of those pictures ended up in the garbage.
When I felt content about what was left in the room I left and crawled into one of the guest rooms beds and slept. My dad woke me up a while later for some dinner. After dinner I went back to the guest room and showered before crawling back into bed. Sleep came easier for me tonight.
Monday morning rolled around and I just wanted to go back home to South Carolina. Until now I didn't think about the possibility that this could be bad news, that I could be going to jail again. That thought started to weigh heavily on me as I got dressed in my dress pants and blazer.
The ride to the court house was quiet. Both of my parents had their eyes locked on their phones while I spent most of my time looking out of the window. When we got to the court house Richard, the head lawyer of my legal team met us as soon as we got out of cars.
"We are going to chambers, the plaintiffs' attorney is not here, just myself and Carmen." Richard informed us as we walked up the steps and into the courthouse.
After going through security Richard and I made our way up to the judges' chambers and waited outside. We weren't waiting long, about five minutes later Judge Warren walks out of his chambers.
"Carmen, please come in and have a seat. Mr. Mason you can hang onto this and wait out here, I would like to speak with Ms. Vera in private." Judge Warren said and handed my lawyer a closed envelope.
I didn't say anything but just followed the Judge into his chambers and closed the door behind us. He didn't say anything but just sat in his chair and looked at me for a minute.
"I do have to say you look a lot better now then you did when I first saw you two years ago." He said and flipped through a booklet on his desk.
"I've done a lot of work on myself in those two years, over a year clean now, have a good cocktail of medication that is keeping me balanced, actually friends who care about me and my personal needs and not my connections or money. Moving away from the city definitely helped." I answered and tried to stop moving around in my chair.
"I just want to show you this." Judge Warren said and held out the New York Times. The page had a sideline article that was circled.
The headline of the article said "Carmen Vera Saves Teen Girls Life After Car Accident". I quickly red through the article that accurately described what happened when I found Gabby in the car. The article even had a picture of Gabby's car still at the scene of the accident.
"How is she doing?" Judge Warren asked.
"She's okay, she has a concussion and some stitches in her forehead and some bruising but she is going to be okay." I answered and looked over the article trying to find what newspaper this was printed in.
"Listen Carmen, I heard a lot about how much you have improved over these last two years. All of the drug tests from your probation officer came back clean, you completed all of your community service hours rather quickly I might add but completed them none the less. From my understanding even after you completed your hours you asked for more?" Judge Warren asked.
"I did, during my community service hours I worked with one patient a lot and she had a way of making me see things differently. I wanted to spend as much time as I could with her because her prognosis was bad." I answered.
"I understand. I want to give you this Carmen. It is a letter from your victim. She mailed this to me a little while ago but I wanted to hold onto it till the time is right and I think that time is now." Judge Warren said.
He handed me the folded up letter and I held onto it. I didn't want to read it at all. This felt like fire in my hands. I don't want to open it. Judge Warren just watched me for a few minutes and went to back to reading some papers on his desk. He wants me to read it in front of him. Fuck. Here goes nothing.
Dear Carmen,
I don't know when you will read this so I will start it off like this. Today is May 22nd2011. The night of the incident I was in that club trying to forget my problems. Things at home weren't going great and I wanted a night out to try and feel normal again. When I got to the club you caught my eye right away. You were buying everybody shots and having some of your own then finally there was a moment when you were sitting by yourself at the bar. When I looked into your eyes I saw how broken you felt inside.
I went over to you and sat next to you and asked the bartender to cut you off. The bartender agreed right away and asked if I wanted to help you in a cab because of how intoxicated you were. That is always my nature, to always put someone else's needs in front of my own.
You had no interest in going home. I tried talking you into a cab but you would not go. So I asked the bartender if there was a room in the back we could go to because the club was getting more crowded and people were starting to talk about you. The bartender showed us the way to the room and let us in. I got you on the couch and you were so out of it. The only thing you wanted to talk about was death and wanting to die.
All I could think of is what happened to you that made you want to die. You started talking about something to do with your mom but you weren't making much sense at this point. I was able to get you to drink some water to try to sober you up a little but I knew you were too far gone.
That was when I grabbed your phone from your pocket and called your dad. His number was first in your emergency contacts list so I went with that. He said he was sending someone to take you home if I could get you outside. Slowly we made our way to the front of the club. It took longer than expected because you were dead weight.
We got to the front of the club and got outside and it was like you got your second wind. You were able to stand on your own again as we waited for your ride. Then some guy who was trying to get into the club saw you and was looking for trouble. He tried to use your name to get in. When the bouncer wasn't buying it he came up to you and wrapped his arm around your neck and tried to sway the bouncer again but you had enough.
You pushed him off of you and he got mad. I think he was drunk as well and he tried to grab your arm wanting your attention again but you pulled away. The third time he really grabbed your arm. You pushed him off of you and swung a punch. Unlucky for me he moved and I was on the receiving end.
The rest of the events happened fairly quickly. You were able to get a few good hits on the guy before the cops crashed the club and took you away in handcuffs. Nobody would believe me when I told them you were defending yourself and I got in the way.
To this day I'm not even sure you know what truly happened that night. I don't know what happened at your trail because all I didn't press charges. The guy did.
I hope this letter brings you peace Carmen and you turned your life around from the night that I saw you.
From the girl who still helps others before herself, Jessica Lowes.
At the bottom of the letter was her email address. I wonder if it's still active. When I was done reading the letter over I looked up at the Judge.
"I'm sealing your case file and you are no longer on probation. The young man who you did beat up only pressed charges because his parents thought you could get a large settlement from you. When there lawyer met with your lawyer they quickly realized that wasn't going to be the case. He did receive some money to help offset the cost of his college education.
"The reason most of this was kept under wraps from you was because everyone involved just wanted you get the help you needed. You have a bright future in front of you Carmen, please go and live it. I don't ever want to have you in front of me again. The only time I want to see your name in the paper is for good things." Judge Warren said.
I took it all in. Basically everything I knew about that night was untrue. I held the letter close to me as I shook Judge Warrens hand and left his chambers. Richard was waiting outside and so were my parents. I didn't have anything to say to them as we left the courthouse.
From the courthouse we went right to the airport and flew home. I didn't want to be in New York any longer then I needed to be. My parents wanted to talk to me about what happened in Judge Warrens chambers' but I didn't want to talk to them. What happened in his chambers' would stay in his chambers'.
Night came and we got home late. I was happy to be home with my room by the ocean. It was a beautiful night out so I took Rylie outside and we sat by the ocean together and just watched the roll in and out. When I finished the pack of cigarettes I was working on I called it a night and Rylie and I went inside. What a day.