UNEDITED
Chapter 11
Napansin ni Jaye, mula sa bintana ng conference room na adjacent sa opisina ni Max, na makulimlim sa labas. Mukhang uulan. Hiling niyang sana ay matapos na nila ang diskusyon upang hindi na siya abutan niyon at tiyak na aabutin siya ng siyam-siyam sa daan.
Mabuti na lang at risonable ang mga tanong nito tungkol sa report, kundi'y magrereklamo talaga siya rito. Nang pumasok siya sa opisina nito ay nakita niya ito sa conference room. Katatapos lang daw ng meeting nito sa head ng accounting department nila. Doon na sila nito nag-usap.
Madilim na sa labas nang makuntento ito. Nagbalik na sila sa opisina nito. He locked the door to the conference room.
"I'll get going," aniya. Tumango lang ito. Thank God he did not say anything personal. Nang buksan niya ang pinto ay naka-lock iyon. "Is this thing locked?"
"Is it?" Kumunot ang noo nito at sinubukang buksan ang pinto. "I guess it is. Baka na-lock ng janitor. I'll get the key." Inisa-isa nito ang drawer nito, sa huli'y naitaas ang magkabilang kamay. "It's not here."
"What do you mean it's not there?"
"It's not here, you can look."
"Okay. Doon na lang ako sa conference room dadaan."
Tumango ito at nagtungo sa pinto niyon. Nakapasok pa doon ang susi niyon. Nang pihitin nito ay nabali ang ulo ng susi. Napalatak na siya.
"Let me," aniyang bahagya itong tinabig. It was impossible to open it without pliers. "Why do you let the janitor lock your office?" Kunot na kunot na ang noo niya, naiinis na.
"He cleans this place every morning."
"I know! But why would he lock it? Hindi ba niya alam na nandito ka pa?"
"I don't know, okay?"
"Fine. Just call him and tell him to open the door."
Tumango ito at inangat ang telepono. "Oh, shoot. No dial tone."
"What? Gimme that!" Itinapat niya sa tainga ang handset. Wala ngang dial tone. Sinundan niya ang kurdon, nakakonekta naman sa socket. "Tsk. Naiwan ko sa opisina ko ang cellphone ko."
Kinapa nito ang bulsa. "I left mine in the conference room."
"Oh, this is crazy!" Inisa-isa na niyang buksan ang mga drawer ng lamesa nito. Wala nga siyang nakitang susi doon. Sinubukan niyang pihitin ang baling susing nakapasok sa pinto ng conference room pero pulang-pula na ang mga daliri niya ay hindi pa niya napapagalaw man lang iyon, masyadong maliit ang natirang bahagi ng susi.
Pabagsak siyang naupo sa couch. "What now?"
"I don't know."
"You don't know?"
"What's the big deal? The janitor will be here tomorrow morning."
"Tomorrow morning?!" Pikon na pikong nagbuga siya ng hangin. Paikot-ikot ang kanyang mata sa opisina, naghahanap ng maaaring gamitin para mapaikot ang susi ng conference room. "Do you have pliers?"
"Do I look like I have pliers here?"
"Well, I have a pair in my office. It comes in handy every once in a while."
"Well, I don't."
Napailing-iling na lang siya. Kung sana ay ordinaryong lock lang ay kaya niyang distrungkahin, pero magandang klase ang lock nito.
"Relax," anito.
Paano niya gagawin iyon gayong sila lang ang naroon? Bakit ba para siyang pinaglalaruan ng tadhana? What were the odds that a thing like that could happen to them? Sobrang kamalasan naman iyon.
"I've got sandwiches here. We better have dinner. Hindi natin alam kung hanggang anong oras tayo rito."
Tumango na lang siya. Mula sa mini-ref nito ay naglabas nga ito ng cold sandwiches, chocolate pudding, at juice. He took off his tie and they started eating. Panay ang pakawala niya ng buntong-hininga.
"Will you stop doing that?" Mukhang nainis ito.
Tumahimik na lang siya. Ayaw niyang ilang oras silang magkasagutan doon. Nang matapos kumain ay ito na ang nagligpit noon. Nakahalukipkip lang siya sa couch. It was eight in the evening. Hindi ito umiimik at nang tingnan niya ito ay nakita niyang nakatingin lang ito sa kanyang mukha.
"What?" piksi niya.
"Nothing." He sighed and slumped back the chair. Magkabilang kamay nito ay inilagay nito sa likod ng ulo. He closed his eyes.
She just looked at him. She realized a part of her enjoyed being that near him. Nagmulat ito ng mata at kitang-kita nitong nakatitig siya rito. Agad siyang umabot ng babasahin at binuklat-buklat iyon.
"Crap," sambit niyang agad inayos ang nakabaligtad palang babasahin. Ang lakas ng tawa nito. Naghintay siya sa nakakalokong komento pero hindi iyon dumating. Nang muli niya itong sulyapan ay nakangiting nakatingin lang ito sa kanya. "Stop s-staring at me."
"Ikaw lang ba ang may karapatang tumingin?"
"Hindi ako tumitingin."
"Liar."
Itinikom na lang niya ang bibig. Tumabi ito sa kanya at tatayo sana siya pero naagapan nito ang braso niya.
"Stay. Don't show me you're scared."
"I'm not---"
"Shhh." Muli itong sumandal, pinagpatong ang mga paa, ilinagay ang mga kamay sa likod ng ulo, at pumikit.
Muli, napatingin lang siya rito. He was so close his scent filled her senses. She missed even his scent. Nang magmulat ito at nag-iwas siyang muli ng tingin, pinapagalitan ang kanyang sarili. Napasinghap na lang siya nang ilapat nito ang mga kamay sa magkabilang gilid niya. Nakulong siya sa bisig nito.
"Max! Ano ka ba---" Hindi na siya natapos magsalita dahil kinuyumos na siya nito ng halik.
Itinikom lang niya ang mga labi. Saglit itong tumigil at hinaplos ng hinlalaki ang kanyang pisngi. "Baby, please don't do this to me. Please kiss me back. Please..."
She was stunned by the tenderness in his voice. Saglit na umawang ang labi niya at sinamantala nito iyon. At naging mas malakas na ang bulong ng damdamin niya. At katawan. Oh, she wanted him, too, she couldn't lie.
She kissed him back the way she wanted too---passionately.
Pero kay gaan-gaan ng mga labi nito sa kanya. Banayad na banayad ang paghalik nito, bagaman dama niya ang sidhi niyon. And she learned to kiss him back that way and found it much more overwhelming.
Bumaba ang mga labi nito sa kanyang leeg, habang ang mga kamay nito ay banayad siyang dinama. She had lost all conviction to push him away. Nagpasya siyang bukas na lang magsisisi. Sa ngayon, ang mahalaga ay mapagbigyan niya ang damdamin niya.
He kissed and felt every part of her ever so gently and she found herself almost begging to be taken by him. Nang magtagpo ang kanilang mga katawan ay nanigas ang kanyang likod. Natigilan ito pero agad din siyang niyakap at pinaliguan ng halik ang kanyang mukha.
"It's gonna be all right, baby..." Sinuyo ng mga labi nito ang mga labi niya. He rubbed and licked her wherever he could.
His thrusts grew faster and she found herself calling out his name. Their lips met at his last thrust. It was as perfect as could be.
"M-MAX, uhm... I b-better get dressed. What if someone opens the door---"
"Shhh. Baby, relax. No one's gonna open the door." Nakapikit ito, yakap-yakap siya. Naroon sila sa couch. Magkasiksik sila dahil hindi naman kalakihan iyon. Hinagkan nito ang kanyang labi, matapos ay ang tungki ng kanyang ilong. He smiled at her. "Relax. Rest."
Hindi na siya nakapagsalita. Hindi niya alam kung ano ang sasabihin niya. She was guessing it was almost twelve midnight. Dinig niya ang pag-ulan sa labas. She was sore. They made love twice already. Thrice if the middle act of him pleasing her counted.
Hindi lang braso nito ang nakapaikot sa kanya, kundi maging ang mga binti nito. They were both naked. She had to admit it felt nice to have her skin against his.
Mayamaya pa'y tulog na ito. Maingat siyang kumalas rito at nagbihis. Masyadong malamig ang aircon. She sat on the carpet and looked at him. Napangiti siya. Mukhang nilalamig ito at hinagilap niya ang coat nito upang ikumot dito. Nang abutin niya iyon ay nakarinig siya ng kung anong kalansing. She searched its pockets and found the keys there.
"Oh, God..." sambit niya habang unti-unting nauunawaang lahat ng iyon ay pinlano nito.
All she could do was bitterly sigh. Maingat na siyang lumabas doon at bumaba. Masyadong malakas ang ulan sa labas. Ang sabi ng guwardiya ay hintayin na lang daw niya ang kasamahan nitong dala ang payong, bumili lang daw ng makakakain.
"Jaye!"
Napalingon siya at nakita si Max na tumatakbo sa gawi niya. Sinugod na niya ang ulanan. Hindi pa man niya nabubuksan ang kanyang kotse ay naabutan na siya nito. Hinawakan nito ang magkabila niyang balikat.
"Where are you going?"
"Home."
"It's raining. Why don't we talk in my office and---"
"Nakuha mo na ang gusto mo sa akin, hindi naman ako nagrereklamo. You planned to have me in a place where I can't avoid you. And it worked. You're right, it was fun. I just want to go home now."
"You lied about Jorge."
"So what?" Walang silbing ikaila niya iyon, magmumukha lang siyang tanga. She was a virgin and obviously he knew.
"You still love me."
"Okay, I do, all right? Are you happy now?! Do you want me to drape a sign over my neck that says that? Huh?! What else you want?! What else do you want?!" Itinulak niya ang dibdib nito.
Mahigpit lang siya nitong niyakap. Kapwa na sila basang-basa. "Wala na akong ibang gusto. Tama na 'yong sinabi mo. Kasi mahal din kita. Mahal na mahal."
"S-sinungaling."
"Look, I love you. I fell in love with you although I never intended to." Ikinulong nito ang kanyang mukha sa mga kamay nito. "Me and Gail, we're through. I just woke up one day realizing it's you I need. I decided to tell her. It wouldn't be fair if she wouldn't know. She understood.
"I wanted to tell you but Jorge came into the picture. And you told me you don't love me anymore. And that maybe you didn't really. Ayoko namang magmukhang tanga kaya nasabi ko ang mga bagay na 'yon sa 'yo---na iba ang gusto ko sa 'yo. I took advantage of your not knowing about my split-up with Gail. Parati ko siyang niyayaya rito. I was hoping you'd get jealous. I prayed for you to get so jealous and react violently or something. But you never did.
"Kaya 'ayun, sabi ko, kailangan na talaga akong umaksiyon. Of course I have the keys. Kinutsaba ko rin 'yng janitor. He locked us in. I spent the afternoon filing the key so it would crack at the right place when I turn it. I did something with the telephone cord, too."
"And your cellphone?" Napangiti na siya.
"I intentionally left in the conference room."
"What happened to your original plan anyway?"
"Oh, that... Can we get inside? We're soaked."
"I'm going home."
"Oh, Jaye, please..."
Initsa niya rito ang susi niya. "You drive. I wanna sleep beside you on a comfortable bed. Your couch is too small."
Napangiti na ito at mabilis siyang pinagbuksan ng pinto. Bago isara ang pinto ay hinagkan siya nito at sumakay na rin sa kabila.
Habang nagmamaneho ito ay isinalaysay nito sa kanya ang nangyari.
"I talked to my father and once and for all told him how much I hated him." Sinabi nito sa kanya ang dahilan noon. Her heart broke. "He told me everything. He had one---that's one night of---you know, with another woman. That was when he realized, he said, that he had never been a good husband to my mother and decided to set her free. He told her he had been unfaithful and apparently my mother thought it really was an affair. It wasn't."
"Kumusta naman kayo ng Daddy mo? You know, he loves you." Sinabi niya rito ang napag-usapan nila ng matanda noong ipinakilala siya rito ni Max.
"That old bastard." Napangiti ito. "He told me that, too. I don't know what happened to me. I guess I got tired of carrying so much hatred in me and I found myself forgiving him. He's still my father. And he apologized. And what a sad life he must have led. The old man broke down telling me the things he regretted doing, and not doing. He said he hated the fact that he was not there most of my life."
"So now everything's okay?"
"Yeah. But you know, I'm not going to be like my father. I'm going to be there for our kids, for you, and I would always remain faithful."
"Sus."
"What, you don't believe me?"
"That's a tough claim, honey. You're gonna have to prove me that all our lives."
"I'm gonna enjoy doing that. So, when are you gonna ask me to marry you?"
Tinampal niya ito sa dibdib. "Sira."
Natawa ito. "I have another ring, you know. But I left it in the office. Nagmamadali akong abutan ka. Do you think tomorrow would be a nice day to propose?"
"No. I want to stay the whole day in my house with you so you're gonna have to propose on Monday."
Tumawa ito at ginagap ang palad niya hanggang sa makarating na sila sa bahay niya. Basang-basa pa rin silang dalawa. Magkahawak-kamay silang pumasok sa kabahayan.
"I miss this place," anito. "I wanna raise our kids here, if that's all right with you."
Naglambitin na siya sa leeg nito. "Only if you say please."
"Please?" Tumango siya at hinagkan ito sa labi. Binuhat siya nito. "Thank God Maxine is not here."
Natawa siya. "Sorry about that, by the way."
"Oh, the dog poop? All over my apartment? Yeah, it took a week before the stench left the place. That's why you are so going to pay, lady."
"I'm still sore."
"You have lovely hands and a wonderful pretty mouth, haven't you?"
And she used her lovely hands and wonderful pretty mouth to please him. He did the same thing to her. They stayed up all night. And when she woke up at two in the afternoon the next day, her food was there on her bed. So was the new engagement ring he told her about.
"I asked someone to bring it over. I can't wait, you see," nakangiting sabi nito saka iniluhod ang isang tuhod sa sahig. "Jaye, will you marry me?"
"I certainly will, baby."
____
A sin takes on a new and real terror
when there seems a chance that it is going to be found out.
--- Mark Twain
The Man That CorruptedHadleyburg
That afternoon, when Jaye had agreed to start a new chapter of her life with the man who had sweeped her off her feet like she dreamed, her world had become so colorful. More colorful than all the houses in our street.
It was a lazy Saturday afternoon and while everyone enjoyed it, my husband got in his car and drove to a nearby mall. Not a minute longer, a large man with a big bag joined him.
"Ano'ng balita?" My husband was anxious.
"Maganda ang balita. Nakita ko na ang lahat dito." The man opened his bag and took out all of my family's photo albums.
"Ano'ng nakita mo? Nakatulong ba 'yan?"
The man nodded and took out a photo from a folder inside his bag. "Tingnan mo."
Armado swallowed hard. "This was taken during her birthday two years ago. You had it enlarged. Ano ito? Ano'ng kinalaman nito?"
"Tingnan mo itong babaeng ito." The man pointed at a lady in the photo and then took out from his folder the picture of my cat. "Itong belt na pinangsakal sa alaga niya, ito ang suot ng babaeng 'yan."
Armado grabbed the wheel tight, his teeth gnashed.
"Anong gusto mong gawin ko? Treinta mil, mawawalan ka na ng problema, gaya ng nasabi ko na sa 'yo noon."
Armado nodded. He took out some money from the glove compartment.
"Puwede mo bang tanungin kung bakit niya nagawa?"
"Hindi kasama ang mga ganyang bagay sa trabaho ko. Sa pelikula lang nangyayari 'yon. Wala nang sali-salita."
"Pagmukhain mong aksidente. Ayokong magkaroon ng imbestigasyon. Ako lang ang lalabas na may motibo sa kanya."
The man nodded and got out of the car.
Driving away, Armado thought the lady on the picture did not know my secret. There was no way she could know. But Armado was too unforgiving. He knew I died to protect that secret. No one should know I had been keeping a secret.
So I think it would more than disappoint him if only he knew Shelley that moment happened to meet a new friend of her mother's, a psychologist who was in her mother's horticulture class. Being naturally curious, she asked about the medicine Clozapine, the drug Armado told her I took for my "schizophrenia."
"I rarely prescribe it. It's not recommended for people with blood disorders. And even you have a healthy circulatory system, you'd have to take blood tests weekly to monitor the effects of the drug."
Shelley remembered I had hypertension and seldom went out of the house. She had goosebumps. She wondered why Armado had to lie about me having psychological disorders, in effect protecting my blackmailer. She once again formulated a conspiracy theory in her head: that Armado himself blackmailed me.
Oh, sweet Shelly. I wish she would just stop asking too many questions. Armado would not stop until my secret rests with me.
It pains my heart that even as I'm no longer a part of my husband's life, I still manage to make him do things he's not supposed to.
He found solace being with a certain man. The man he thought about most nights. When he had a fix of temporary solace, he drove back home.
He looked at my birthday photo taken two years ago and found himself gritting his teeth in anger. He could not believe how trusting he had been. He could not believe after I acted like a mother to Lulu, she still managed blackmail me.
Wakas